A warning about using the wife's cream on your genitalia.
Discussion
I have been doing a fair bit of running, and it is f
king hot and humid where I live, this occasionally leads to a mild case if 'crotch rot / jock itch' where your bits go red and itchy where the sweaty lumps of meat chafe against sweat-sodden nylon shorts. Nothing too serious, just a bit annoying. Anyway, had a touch of this and was going on a business trip. As I was packing I spied a tube of cream that I had sometimes seen my wife using. Nice soothing face cream, just the thing for my sore tackle. I slathered my scrotum and cock in this white cream, which felt good. I decided to take the cream with me.
On the flight I noticed that the itchiness didn't seem to be going away, if anything it was more noticeble. Crafty scratching of the area provided short term relief.
At the hotel I showered and changed and slathered my tackle with more of the cream, making sure to rub it in to the whole area.
I was a bit distracted during a couple of fairly serious meetings by a small campfire beginning to burn in my underpants. Pocket billiards helped temporarily, but at the same time seemed to make it worse. It had turned into the worst case of jock itch ever.
Escaped to the loo to have a look. The area seemed to be more inflamed. Luckily I knew what to do so I applied more of the cream and went to another meeting. This one was me delivering a talk to a fairly large group of people so my pocket billiards had to stop. Hopping from one leg to the other as my ball sac and penis burned, in front of a crowd, is not an experience I want to repeat. Someone said afterwards that it had been an 'energetic' presentation.
Back at the hotel I had a quick look. Horror! The thing is normally quite presentable, but this was bright red and there seemed to be bits of skin coming off. f
k me. Worst case of crotch rot in history. I wondered whether I had contracted some kind of unspeakable tropical cock disease. I wondered how I was going to explain it to the wife, who would almost certainly leap to conclusions involving skanky diseased latina hookers. I applied more of the soothing cream and rubbed it in. Rubbing it in was the only thing that offered comfort. I rubbed it in two or three times, which felt good at the time but was agony later. This pattern was repeated for two more days. The last morning standing in front of the bathroom mirror I was aghast and horrified. My sac was bright red and swollen and sort of shiny, and fluid was leaking from under the skin. My cock was if anything even brighter red with livid white patches and looked like it had been put on a barbecue and grilled. I knocked back some painkillers and headed home.
I decided honesty was best and dropped my pants in front of the wife and got her to have a look. Never had anything like it I said. I used your cream as well and it didn't help at all. Mrs Aya looked at my bits in disbelief, then looked at the tube of cream and burst out laughing. I was in agony and she was laughing at my cock. You put this cream on your willy? she asked in disbelief.
Turns out it is a very strong skin-peeling cream that females sometimes use for god knows what. Only used sparingly and never in sensitive areas. Basically I had been dissolving my cock and balls in acid for three days and literally stripping skin away. The thing looks like it has been deliberately set on fire.
My wife can't wait to tell all her friends that her husband tried to burn his cock off, and of course nookie is off the menu for a while.
You have been warned.
typical bloke 
Ayahuasca said:
I have been doing a fair bit of running, and it is fking hot and humid where I live, this occasionally leads to a mild case if 'crotch rot / jock itch' where your bits go red and itchy where the sweaty lumps of meat chafe against sweat-sodden nylon shorts. Nothing too serious, just a bit annoying.
Anyway, had a touch of this and was going on a business trip. As I was packing I spied a tube of cream that I had sometimes seen my wife using. Nice soothing face cream, just the thing for my sore tackle. I slathered my scrotum and cock in this white cream, which felt good. I decided to take the cream with me.
On the flight I noticed that the itchiness didn't seem to be going away, if anything it was more noticeble. Crafty scratching of the area provided short term relief.
At the hotel I showered and changed and slathered my tackle with more of the cream, making sure to rub it in to the whole area.
I was a bit distracted during a couple of fairly serious meetings by a small campfire beginning to burn in my underpants. Pocket billiards helped temporarily, but at the same time seemed to make it worse. It had turned into the worst case of jock itch ever.
Escaped to the loo to have a look. The area seemed to be more inflamed. Luckily I knew what to do so I applied more of the cream and went to another meeting. This one was me delivering a talk to a fairly large group of people so my pocket billiards had to stop. Hopping from one leg to the other as my ball sac and penis burned, in front of a crowd, is not an experience I want to repeat. Someone said afterwards that it had been an 'energetic' presentation.
Back at the hotel I had a quick look. Horror! The thing is normally quite presentable, but this was bright red and there seemed to be bits of skin coming off. fk me. Worst case of crotch rot in history. I wondered whether I had contracted some kind of unspeakable tropical cock disease. I wondered how I was going to explain it to the wife, who would almost certainly leap to conclusions involving skanky diseased latina hookers. I applied more of the soothing cream and rubbed it in. Rubbing it in was the only thing that offered comfort. I rubbed it in two or three times, which felt good at the time but was agony later. This pattern was repeated for two more days.
The last morning standing in front of the bathroom mirror I was aghast and horrified. My sac was bright red and swollen and sort of shiny, and fluid was leaking from under the skin. My cock was if anything even brighter red with livid white patches and looked like it had been put on a barbecue and grilled. I knocked back some painkillers and headed home.
I decided honesty was best and dropped my pants in front of the wife and got her to have a look. Never had anything like it I said. I used your cream as well and it didn't help at all. Mrs Aya looked at my bits in disbelief, then looked at the tube of cream and burst out laughing. I was in agony and she was laughing at my cock. You put this cream on your willy? she asked in disbelief.
Turns out it is a very strong skin-peeling cream that females sometimes use for god knows what. Only used sparingly and never in sensitive areas. Basically I had been dissolving my cock and balls in acid for three days and literally stripping skin away. The thing looks like it has been deliberately set on fire.
My wife can't wait to tell all her friends that her husband tried to burn his cock off, and of course nookie is off the menu for a while.
You have been warned.
Quoted just in case.king hot and humid where I live, this occasionally leads to a mild case if 'crotch rot / jock itch' where your bits go red and itchy where the sweaty lumps of meat chafe against sweat-sodden nylon shorts. Nothing too serious, just a bit annoying. Anyway, had a touch of this and was going on a business trip. As I was packing I spied a tube of cream that I had sometimes seen my wife using. Nice soothing face cream, just the thing for my sore tackle. I slathered my scrotum and cock in this white cream, which felt good. I decided to take the cream with me.
On the flight I noticed that the itchiness didn't seem to be going away, if anything it was more noticeble. Crafty scratching of the area provided short term relief.
At the hotel I showered and changed and slathered my tackle with more of the cream, making sure to rub it in to the whole area.
I was a bit distracted during a couple of fairly serious meetings by a small campfire beginning to burn in my underpants. Pocket billiards helped temporarily, but at the same time seemed to make it worse. It had turned into the worst case of jock itch ever.
Escaped to the loo to have a look. The area seemed to be more inflamed. Luckily I knew what to do so I applied more of the cream and went to another meeting. This one was me delivering a talk to a fairly large group of people so my pocket billiards had to stop. Hopping from one leg to the other as my ball sac and penis burned, in front of a crowd, is not an experience I want to repeat. Someone said afterwards that it had been an 'energetic' presentation.
Back at the hotel I had a quick look. Horror! The thing is normally quite presentable, but this was bright red and there seemed to be bits of skin coming off. f
k me. Worst case of crotch rot in history. I wondered whether I had contracted some kind of unspeakable tropical cock disease. I wondered how I was going to explain it to the wife, who would almost certainly leap to conclusions involving skanky diseased latina hookers. I applied more of the soothing cream and rubbed it in. Rubbing it in was the only thing that offered comfort. I rubbed it in two or three times, which felt good at the time but was agony later. This pattern was repeated for two more days. The last morning standing in front of the bathroom mirror I was aghast and horrified. My sac was bright red and swollen and sort of shiny, and fluid was leaking from under the skin. My cock was if anything even brighter red with livid white patches and looked like it had been put on a barbecue and grilled. I knocked back some painkillers and headed home.
I decided honesty was best and dropped my pants in front of the wife and got her to have a look. Never had anything like it I said. I used your cream as well and it didn't help at all. Mrs Aya looked at my bits in disbelief, then looked at the tube of cream and burst out laughing. I was in agony and she was laughing at my cock. You put this cream on your willy? she asked in disbelief.
Turns out it is a very strong skin-peeling cream that females sometimes use for god knows what. Only used sparingly and never in sensitive areas. Basically I had been dissolving my cock and balls in acid for three days and literally stripping skin away. The thing looks like it has been deliberately set on fire.
My wife can't wait to tell all her friends that her husband tried to burn his cock off, and of course nookie is off the menu for a while.
You have been warned.
Looks like you cocked up big time.
You have to wonder what sort of person rubs random cream onto their cock and balls without reading the label first, then continues to do so for another two or three days without making the connection that maybe the cream isn't helping.
It just sounds completely balmy
It just sounds completely balmy
Edited by Oakey on Saturday 29th November 20:53
Oakey said:
You have to wonder what sort of person rubs random cream onto their cock and balls without reading the label first, then continues to do so for another two or three days without making the connection that maybe the cream isn't helping.
It just sounds completely balmy
HO HO HO...It just sounds completely balmy
Oakey said:
You have to wonder what sort of person rubs random cream onto their cock and balls without reading the label first, then continues to do so for another two or three days without making the connection that maybe the cream isn't helping.
It just sounds completely balmy
Indeed. It just sounds completely balmy
Edited by Oakey on Saturday 29th November 20:53
I call bs.
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