The recently single thread

The recently single thread

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croyde

22,701 posts

229 months

Thursday 18th December 2014
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When we split over 5 years ago, I thought that I would become a 'project' hehe

I thought it would be like a Richard Curtis film and I would be invited to dinner parties with all the couples and one single girl.

It never happened. I go to the pub from time to time with the boys and listen to them moan about their wives. At least two of them had affairs that their other halves found out about and they are still together, happy families.

I bloody behaved myself and even turned down chances even though I wasn't getting any at home and I'm still the one sitting in a small flat pulling my pud. (Those chances stopped happening once I was out of the relationship).

sc0tt

18,032 posts

200 months

Thursday 18th December 2014
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At least you don't have to cuddle it after.

croyde

22,701 posts

229 months

Thursday 18th December 2014
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hehe

CountZero23

Original Poster:

1,288 posts

177 months

Thursday 18th December 2014
quotequote all
croyde said:
When we split over 5 years ago, I thought that I would become a 'project' hehe

I thought it would be like a Richard Curtis film and I would be invited to dinner parties with all the couples and one single girl.

It never happened. I go to the pub from time to time with the boys and listen to them moan about their wives. At least two of them had affairs that their other halves found out about and they are still together, happy families.

I bloody behaved myself and even turned down chances even though I wasn't getting any at home and I'm still the one sitting in a small flat pulling my pud. (Those chances stopped happening once I was out of the relationship).
A night down the pub with a bunch of tied down mates probably won't result in you meeting too many ladies!

Have you tried a singles night?

Assuming your 35+ there are allot of women at these things (beware the mental and getting dragged into a convo about how much of a st their ex husband was etc).

The social skills of allot of the guys down there give the impression their auditioning for Rain Man...

I still like a bit of clubbing and partying - where I meet most girls and might have some correlation to the level of the MENTAL I experience in my gf's...

Gretchen

18,998 posts

215 months

Thursday 18th December 2014
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CountZero23 said:
Gretchen said:
This thread is useless without pictures.
People posting pictures of their recent ex's would not probably not be all that helpful hehe

It twas simply a matter of time before 'that post' tho...

In the mean time, I've been spending lots of time with mates I've neglected over the course of my relationship. My female freinds are now giving fashion advice and seem excited by the chance to do some match making.

In the same way we like our 'projects' it appears they seem to have taken me on as theirs rolleyes

Hitting the gym a fair bit and am now off to some mental new years day club party. So much for the quiet one I had planned with the ex...








Edited by CountZero23 on Wednesday 17th December 23:35
Yeahhhh. I think you might've missed the point. I'm female wink

You sound fit. Are you fit?



Benni

3,509 posts

210 months

Thursday 18th December 2014
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Recently ? Not quite, about 32 years ago, but I got used to being on my own.

Some short stints in between, guess I am just not the one.

Sure I miss something/someone sometimes, but -reading about partnership woes in PH- I guess I dodged many bullets.

I guess I will live alone, get old(er) alone and die alone, no hopes no disappointment though.

croyde

22,701 posts

229 months

Friday 19th December 2014
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frown

CountZero23

Original Poster:

1,288 posts

177 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Gretchen said:
Yeahhhh. I think you might've missed the point. I'm female wink

You sound fit. Are you fit?
All those Match.com thread types should get over here and see who's recently come on the radar!

Me on the left wink


So an update on the whole single saga.

The ex still has all her stuff stored here and I just lent her my car to go and visit her dad.

In return I get an earful about the house being a mess and moans about how much I've spent on said car recently. Suddenly reminded about the level of MENTAL involved in that one. Would make it easier if she wasn't so bloody hot...

Still, met a rather lovely journalist lass on Friday who showed no sign on the mental and preffers graphic novels to rom coms and smoking pot to ste TV. Improvement on the last one, not into stupid cars but sure she could be persuaded hehe

Possible date tomorrow. Still not 100% over the ex but things definitely looking better!




cheddar

4,637 posts

173 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Catchy internet dating one liners from intellectual ladies who've e-mailed me:

"Firstly, I eat a lot of takeaways"

"I don't swallow or do anal but anything else is ok"

"I live with my parents, I haven't got a car and I can't work 'cos of my hip, if you're still interested message me"

"Wot u working, am looking"

Spoilt for choice smile




CountZero23

Original Poster:

1,288 posts

177 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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cheddar said:
Catchy internet dating one liners from intellectual ladies who've e-mailed me:

"Firstly, I eat a lot of takeaways"

"I don't swallow or do anal but anything else is ok"

"I live with my parents, I haven't got a car and I can't work 'cos of my hip, if you're still interested message me"

"Wot u working, am looking"

Spoilt for choice smile
What dating site are you on?!

To be fair #2 doesn't sound too bad, I think you're just being too picky hehe

DanielSan

18,746 posts

166 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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CountZero23 said:
What dating site are you on?!

To be fair #2 doesn't sound too bad, I think you're just being too picky hehe
Number 2 sounds like the winner to me biggrin

croyde

22,701 posts

229 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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No2 Sounds like she'd be a nightmare in a restaurant and isn't very tidy or good at lists.

CountZero23

Original Poster:

1,288 posts

177 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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croyde said:
No2 Sounds like she'd be a nightmare in a restaurant and isn't very tidy or good at lists.
Maybe #1 would be a better option if you're looking for a dining companion?

Having chat with the 22 year old I was seeing before my ex, she's over in Ireland now but seems up for paying me a visit.

To be fair if the age gap wasn't so daft she might be a serious contender.

She did also send me a link to Sleepers "Inbetweener".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y63UIj48xs

The girl does have a sense of humor...

Seeing the girl I met up with on Friday again tonight.

Being pulled between heartbreak and actually having a laugh getting back to my bad old ways.



fin racer

766 posts

227 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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been single (moved out of the family home) about a month ago. And its fking dreadful. Missing my little boy dreadfully, despite seeing him during the week and having him most weekends. Just rented a nice townhouse in an area close to where I grew up. So while its good catching up with mates, they are mostly married and have family, so any tales are likely to be family-oriented and a bit st. A change in job has helped, as has getting out running, but mostly its the feeling of being completely adrift. I know it takes awhile to get back in the saddle and get the confidence back, but until that time I have no desire to start again with anyone, even a fk buddy. Is that normal?. For now its just about me and my son. On good terms with the ex, largely for juniors benefit. Going out on the sauce at every opportunity? No thanks.
Considering taking up learning Italian. Also going to decorate the house to MY taste (italian vintage car posters, B+W boxing photos) etc etc. This all sounds terribly familiar, but I'm sure some people are dealing with it a hell of a lot better than me. Err, thats about it really.

croyde

22,701 posts

229 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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Sorry to hear fella. Unfortunately it's almost 6 years since for me and I still feel exactly as you do now.

It is the feeling of being part of my own family that I miss and can't be arsed trying to start over again.

Sad to say that I am actually going tomorrow to spend the Christmas Holiday with my ex-wife, her boyfriend, her mum and most importantly (and the reason I have agreed to the idea) my three kids. They've rented a big house somewhere nice.

How fekin' desperate is that frown

fin racer

766 posts

227 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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wouldn't consider it desperate at all.
Im spending xmas with my ex and my boy, purely because thats the way its meant to be.
I take it you get on with the new man?

CountZero23

Original Poster:

1,288 posts

177 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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It must be so much harder when there is a family involved, I was only seeing my ex for 10 months and only 5 months of that was serious and living togther. Really feel for you both Fin/Croyde.

Been sobering reading about things going wrong after so long with a girl and with kids too.

fin racer said:
Mostly its the feeling of being completely adrift. I know it takes a while to get back in the saddle and get the confidence back, but until that time I have no desire to start again with anyone, even a fk buddy. Is that normal?.
Sounds normal to me. There are stages to it, the first is just being totally messed up. Might last weeks, months or longer. Can't think about anything else, nothing makes you laugh or gets you excited. You just need to get through it.

Then you have a good evening with friends, or even just start worrying about something daft and think about something else even for a few seconds. It get's easier but you will still end up back there - just less and less.

I've been trying to avoid being on my own to avoid dwelling on things and at least when I'm with mates I can vent things out rather than holding them in.

Women seem to deal with breakups so much more easly than guys; couple of weeks and then they are back on their feet and often shacked up with their next victim.

Going out on dates with nice girls doesn't fill the gap a relationship leaves behind; but when you start really enjoying the company of other girls it helps you stop fixating on the last one so much.

I think allot of life is a self fulfilling prophecy - if you keep telling yourself you won't be happy again or meet anyone who'll you'll be happy with then that's what will happen.

Give yourself time to grieve but life is not supposed to be spent living in the past, however great it once was.






Edited by CountZero23 on Monday 22 December 16:11

RobinBanks

17,540 posts

178 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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My view for Christmas! smile

CountZero23

Original Poster:

1,288 posts

177 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
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RobinBanks said:


My view for Christmas! smile
Think this belongs on the pictures which my your teeth itch thread Robin. Hardly OCD but that picture is soooo wonky!

croyde

22,701 posts

229 months

Monday 22nd December 2014
quotequote all
fin racer said:
wouldn't consider it desperate at all.
Im spending xmas with my ex and my boy, purely because thats the way its meant to be.
I take it you get on with the new man?
I do.

Actually I feel sorry for the poor bugger biggrin