The DIY and professional trades c*ck-up confessional

The DIY and professional trades c*ck-up confessional

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Origin Unknown

Original Poster:

2,293 posts

168 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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Excuses required.

Handles for gloss white doors in the bathroom vanity unit are drilled and screwed from the back. This does NOT require drilling all the way through the door, although I did on 2 of the 6 holes. I'm tired.

Father fk-up will see you now.

Simpo Two

85,149 posts

264 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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If the handle goes on the front and you drill from the back - which I'd say is standard - how are you supposed to fix the handle if the hole doesn't go all the way through?

Origin Unknown

Original Poster:

2,293 posts

168 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
quotequote all
It's one of these units.

You need to add your cock-up to the thread Simpo smile

Simpo Two

85,149 posts

264 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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Origin Unknown said:
It's one of these units.

You need to add your cock-up to the thread Simpo smile
My best one was when cutting new sections of worktop for my kitchen. I didn't have many power tools at the time so the easiest way to cut it to length was to use a jigsaw. Jigsaws as you know need some space underneath for the blade, so I propped one end of the worktop on a chair, then knelt on the sloping worktop to keep it steady while I sawed through it. I'll leave you to work out what happened when it was about 80% of the way through... Newton had a good chuckle at my expense.

roofer

5,136 posts

210 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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Just plasterboarded the ceiling, father in law says " the junction boxes for the lights all check out"

They be fine says I, Eck as like, 1 snapped neutral after playing 'find the junction box ' for 2 hrs....grrrrr.

andy43

9,548 posts

253 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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Another worktop one... marked out the sink cutout perfectly, with the new top in situ and screwed in place, set to work with jigsaw, carefully cutting around the marked out area.
Last inch of the cut and... flump - beautifully cut sink cutout drops down, smashes the shelf off it's brackets, chipping it in four places, and continues through to destroy most of the carcass fixings of the base unit the sink was going over.
Not happy.

andy43

9,548 posts

253 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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And another - fitting a new single oven for (ex) brother-in-law, with him 'helping'.
13A socket for oven miles away in an adjacent unit.
Decide to reuse old flex as it'll be the correct length, thread flex through existing holes in two carcasses, bring up to oven tugging hard on bared ends of 3 core flex to get extra length through towards oven and ask B-I-L if the far end of the flex will still reach the plug socket?
"Yep, it's plugged in and I've switched it on. Is it working yet?"

PGM

2,168 posts

248 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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When I first started as a setting out engineer I had a small extra site to set up from my main one.

It was a green field site where we were putting a new electricity substation in the Forest of Dean.

I set up two base lines at right angles to each other at the edge of the site and calculated all of my dimensions from them for the 35 bases required. Unfortunately I had to relocate one of the lines inward by 3m from where I'd planned at the desk at my other job as the site cabins had been put in the way.

I set all the bases out perfectly and we excavated and poured the blinding (base concrete).

Next day, went to set out the formwork and reinforcement for the structural bases and realised that all the blinding was 3m out of position, I'd forgotten the offset!

Got a fair bking for that one!

Edited by PGM on Sunday 7th December 20:42

hairyben

8,516 posts

182 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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Channelling a concrete floor earlier this year I ruptured a sodding gas pipe... no clue at all it was there as it made several turns within the floor between the meter and flat... no protection or warning. Barratt fking homes for you.

essayer

9,011 posts

193 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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Power sanding the floor, rented a drum unit from HSS, handle removable so you can fit it in the car.

Started sanding - hadn't done up the handle enough - after a few turns the sanding bit sods off across the room leaving me holding the handle..

Not too much damage, so tightened it up, started again, only to have the bag burst, in the midst of a dust storm like something out of the Sahara I let go of the handle, the whole unit flies across the room straight into the radiator pipe splitting it and pissing out water everywhere rolleyes

Simpo Two

85,149 posts

264 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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^^^ I think that's the winner!

BlackCup

1,231 posts

182 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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Well, thought i'd take all the manky rotten old fence panels to the dump, so i set about cutting them all in half with a circular saw so they'd fit in the car easier.
Of course i soon got very carried away slicing my way through these panels when i vigorously cut through the power cable while swinging about.
Serves me right for being so anti H&S!

Matt

B17NNS

18,506 posts

246 months

Sunday 7th December 2014
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essayer said:
Power sanding the floor...
laugh

Ray Luxury-Yacht

8,910 posts

215 months

Monday 8th December 2014
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I had an old metal up-and-over garage door in the back garden for ages. Christ knows why I saved it.

Anyway one day I decided it had to go. But how to get rid of it? Didn't have a vehicle big enough to fit it in, and didn't want to go to the expense of hiring a van.

'I know' thinks I.....'I'll cut it into pieces with an angle grinder, and transport the bits down to the dump in my car.


15 minutes of happy angle-grinding and cutting, amongst a myriad of sparks, and enjoying myself a great deal, rendered the door in bits.

However, I had decided to do my grinding right by the back door.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed about a billion tiny specks of red-hot metal grindings had not only flown off and burned themselves into the back door, but were also hot enough to have burned themselves into the glass in the door too frown

Not only did the glass look bad enough on the day, after a while they went rusty too, so the glass is peppered and also has millions of tiny streaks of rusty water running from them.

Idiot!!!


Jam Spavlin

909 posts

184 months

Monday 8th December 2014
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Ray Luxury-Yacht said:
I had an old metal up-and-over garage door in the back garden for ages. Christ knows why I saved it.

Anyway one day I decided it had to go. But how to get rid of it? Didn't have a vehicle big enough to fit it in, and didn't want to go to the expense of hiring a van.

'I know' thinks I.....'I'll cut it into pieces with an angle grinder, and transport the bits down to the dump in my car.


15 minutes of happy angle-grinding and cutting, amongst a myriad of sparks, and enjoying myself a great deal, rendered the door in bits.

However, I had decided to do my grinding right by the back door.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed about a billion tiny specks of red-hot metal grindings had not only flown off and burned themselves into the back door, but were also hot enough to have burned themselves into the glass in the door too frown

Not only did the glass look bad enough on the day, after a while they went rusty too, so the glass is peppered and also has millions of tiny streaks of rusty water running from them.

Idiot!!!
Get hold of a claybar kit and use it on the back door, it should remove most of the embedded shrapnel!

Ray Luxury-Yacht

8,910 posts

215 months

Monday 8th December 2014
quotequote all
Jam Spavlin said:
Ray Luxury-Yacht said:
I had an old metal up-and-over garage door in the back garden for ages. Christ knows why I saved it.

Anyway one day I decided it had to go. But how to get rid of it? Didn't have a vehicle big enough to fit it in, and didn't want to go to the expense of hiring a van.

'I know' thinks I.....'I'll cut it into pieces with an angle grinder, and transport the bits down to the dump in my car.


15 minutes of happy angle-grinding and cutting, amongst a myriad of sparks, and enjoying myself a great deal, rendered the door in bits.

However, I had decided to do my grinding right by the back door.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed about a billion tiny specks of red-hot metal grindings had not only flown off and burned themselves into the back door, but were also hot enough to have burned themselves into the glass in the door too frown

Not only did the glass look bad enough on the day, after a while they went rusty too, so the glass is peppered and also has millions of tiny streaks of rusty water running from them.

Idiot!!!
Get hold of a claybar kit and use it on the back door, it should remove most of the embedded shrapnel!
O'rly? You think? I already have such a thing which I use lovingly on my car biggrin

Okais then - I will give it a go. Thanks! thumbup


Salesy

850 posts

128 months

Monday 8th December 2014
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About 5 years ago I was doing the electrics in a kitchen, the lady said the plumber would be around later to fit the sink. Always he goes out, 5pm and the plumber arrives with a distinct smell of alcohol. He proceeded to cut the sink out and after about 8" of cutting. Hear him shout oh fk.

Blade too deep and straight through the washing machine. He even tried to cover it up with white gaffa tape.

Knob head

kev b

2,708 posts

165 months

Monday 8th December 2014
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There are products such as "Iron Cut" which are able to remove this sort of contamination.

Designed to remove brake dust particles from bodywork, often needed on cars parked near railway stations as trains produce lots of metallic dust when braking.

Abagnale

366 posts

113 months

Monday 8th December 2014
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Cooker hood goes u/s. I asked about it on here as it goes, no answers, so I check the fuse, no joy. Check RCD box, no. Tools out, remove it from the wall, strip down the control box, nothing obviously awry, take the motor out strip that right down, again nothing obviously wrong. By now, I've managed to dislodge the hidden extractor pipe to the outside, necessitating removal of the wooden paneling that conceals it. This will mean redecorating.

By now, I'm googling replacements when I notice the switch on the wall is in the off position, I've knocked it moving the coffee maker & completely failed to begin at the beginning. Reassemble everything, spend the next day repainting the kitchen. The cooker hood is & always was fine. Not my finest hour.

8Ace

2,681 posts

197 months

Monday 8th December 2014
quotequote all
essayer said:
Power sanding the floor, rented a drum unit from HSS, handle removable so you can fit it in the car.

Started sanding - hadn't done up the handle enough - after a few turns the sanding bit sods off across the room leaving me holding the handle..

Not too much damage, so tightened it up, started again, only to have the bag burst, in the midst of a dust storm like something out of the Sahara I let go of the handle, the whole unit flies across the room straight into the radiator pipe splitting it and pissing out water everywhere rolleyes
rofl

Getting funny looks in the office