Playful slaps with OH - Is it on?
Discussion
Something a bit different maybe?
Anyway been with SWMBO nearly three years now, but over the past year I have had feelings that she's lacking respect for me somewhat. There's been a couple other things that have brought on these thoughts, but the main one is the "playful" slapping on the face. Now, I'm all for little taps on the bum as affection, or a little tap on the arm when responding to a cheeky comment or whatnot, but lately she's been doing these playful slaps on the face, and i've said several times NOT to do it because it's annoying, and yet tonight she did it again, and I finally blown my top.
It's silly really, but we were just watching TV and Ellie Gouldings variety performance was on. At one point her huge dress lifts up, and fireworks drape over it. I say "Wow did you see that? Her dress looks cool with them lights!" to which she says "don't be stupid, it's the background" and slaps me across the face pretty hard while laughing and calling me a silly goose? I know that it's silly to fall out over a bloody tv show, but it was just the slap that really pissed me off. It was totally uncalled for and just shows a lack of respect imo. I've now went off for a drive to calm down, no sign of an apology from her yet...
What do I do?
Oh and my apologies if this seems silly or childish. Just curious of opinions or if any of you ever experienced something similiar.
Anyway been with SWMBO nearly three years now, but over the past year I have had feelings that she's lacking respect for me somewhat. There's been a couple other things that have brought on these thoughts, but the main one is the "playful" slapping on the face. Now, I'm all for little taps on the bum as affection, or a little tap on the arm when responding to a cheeky comment or whatnot, but lately she's been doing these playful slaps on the face, and i've said several times NOT to do it because it's annoying, and yet tonight she did it again, and I finally blown my top.
It's silly really, but we were just watching TV and Ellie Gouldings variety performance was on. At one point her huge dress lifts up, and fireworks drape over it. I say "Wow did you see that? Her dress looks cool with them lights!" to which she says "don't be stupid, it's the background" and slaps me across the face pretty hard while laughing and calling me a silly goose? I know that it's silly to fall out over a bloody tv show, but it was just the slap that really pissed me off. It was totally uncalled for and just shows a lack of respect imo. I've now went off for a drive to calm down, no sign of an apology from her yet...
What do I do?
Oh and my apologies if this seems silly or childish. Just curious of opinions or if any of you ever experienced something similiar.
iphonedyou said:
Seems a bit odd. But then, so is your use of 'respect' in this context, which comes across a bit master-and-subordinate. Tell her to stop - she probably will as you lost your temper tonight - but don't mention respect in the way you have here.
Good luck!
Thanks for that. Just to clarify about the respect thing, it wasn't meant as I "do as I say" way or anything like that. I just meant that to me personally, having respect for your partner obviously includes things like being faithful, being considerate etc, but that just slapping someone across the face for no reason is just disrespectful. I would never dream of doing it to her whether playful or otherwise, so why does she see it as acceptable? Good luck!
Hope that clears up the whole respect term...probably didn't.
If it's enough to bother you then it's not on. Any physical contact is acceptable only if you're both happy about it, whether it's amorous or jokey. I'd say you need to explain that to her in an amicable way when things are calm. Hopefully she'll realise it wasn't taken the way she intended, and that'll be the last of it.
If it isn't, you probably need to do some serious thinking about whether you're right for each other.
Good luck!
If it isn't, you probably need to do some serious thinking about whether you're right for each other.
Good luck!
NateWM said:
Thanks for that. Just to clarify about the respect thing, it wasn't meant as I "do as I say" way or anything like that. I just meant that to me personally, having respect for your partner obviously includes things like being faithful, being considerate etc, but that just slapping someone across the face for no reason is just disrespectful. I would never dream of doing it to her whether playful or otherwise, so why does she see it as acceptable?
Hope that clears up the whole respect term...probably didn't.
Absolutely, I see what you mean. It does need to stop so perhaps just point out how nonsensical it actually is - a slap is punishment, and you're being slapped for nothing in effect. Which makes no sense. That would annoy me as much as the pain!Hope that clears up the whole respect term...probably didn't.
Thanks all. This has actually happened twice before, with the last time being at my Dads birthday gathering in the summer. In fairness it had much less force to it, however I was still deeply embarrassed so I brought it up with her in the morning. She was very apologetic and seemed to see how much it irked me, and I thought that was that...obviously not!
I'll be heading home soon and having a good think tomorrow. It's just tough as she really is amazing and I love her to pieces, but I've been wondering if I should just finish, as she's really been testing me lately. I'm only 22 so feel like I shouldn't be having the stress that she causes me sometimes! I'm just very conflicted at the moment so will think about it more when I have a clear head!
Anymore comments are welcome. Thanks again btw.
I'll be heading home soon and having a good think tomorrow. It's just tough as she really is amazing and I love her to pieces, but I've been wondering if I should just finish, as she's really been testing me lately. I'm only 22 so feel like I shouldn't be having the stress that she causes me sometimes! I'm just very conflicted at the moment so will think about it more when I have a clear head!
Anymore comments are welcome. Thanks again btw.
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