Planning department want me to take down a carport !!!

Planning department want me to take down a carport !!!

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Chuggy

337 posts

162 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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.....and he drives across the grass verge....

Wacky Racer

38,099 posts

246 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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MagneticMeerkat said:
Amusing how the most innocuous of topics can bring out the very worst in people, or my innate bhiness, not sure which. It's a couple of poles and a plastic sheet for God's sake. My opposite neighbour has remodelled the front of her house entirely. The people next door have constructed an extension and built a shed in the garden suitable to house the Starship Enterprise. We all get on with each other. Therefore the answer seems to be to move out of the horribly pretentious end of the commuter belt to the more accepting, enjoyably down at heel climes of the Essex Riviera. Or not. Surrey - yeechh!

However it's clear the carport constructor is a working class person. Therefore all he does is contemptible - including attempts at building work. His dog is working class, his car is working class. American? Perish the thought. Dropped kerbs, paved over gardens. I know, the barbarians have taken over. I'd imagine he's got a massive television on a thirty year repayment Brighthouse contract, brown leather sofas and, whisper it, laminated flooring. It's absolutely disgusting really, working class people flashing money about, trampling on our dearly held social ideals and conventions. I don't think he should have a car at all. Instead he should have to walk everywhere, perhaps in front of one of the gentry to open doors for them. He should have to apologise to all those who vicariously took offence to, well, nothing at all.

Having said that he lives in a working class area. So why do you care?
Go on, get it off your chest..........hehe

GetCarter

29,358 posts

278 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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MagneticMeerkat said:
Amusing how the most innocuous of topics can bring out the very worst in people, or my innate bhiness, not sure which. It's a couple of poles and a plastic sheet for God's sake. My opposite neighbour has remodelled the front of her house entirely. The people next door have constructed an extension and built a shed in the garden suitable to house the Starship Enterprise. We all get on with each other. Therefore the answer seems to be to move out of the horribly pretentious end of the commuter belt to the more accepting, enjoyably down at heel climes of the Essex Riviera. Or not. Surrey - yeechh!

However it's clear the carport constructor is a working class person. Therefore all he does is contemptible - including attempts at building work. His dog is working class, his car is working class. American? Perish the thought. Dropped kerbs, paved over gardens. I know, the barbarians have taken over. I'd imagine he's got a massive television on a thirty year repayment Brighthouse contract, brown leather sofas and, whisper it, laminated flooring. It's absolutely disgusting really, working class people flashing money about, trampling on our dearly held social ideals and conventions. I don't think he should have a car at all. Instead he should have to walk everywhere, perhaps in front of one of the gentry to open doors for them. He should have to apologise to all those who vicariously took offence to, well, nothing at all.

Having said that he lives in a working class area. So why do you care?
I think there may be some 'issues' here.

JQ

5,691 posts

178 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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OP - you should surround it with straw bales to hide it, giving the impression it's just a pile of bales. After 4 years you'll have gained rights to the construction and can keep it.

What could possibly go wrong.

The Moose

22,821 posts

208 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Monkeylegend said:
wonderwebb said:
Monkeylegend said:
WB, sometimes you just don't make sense.

And OP, you haven't even lined up the posts at the road end. One for the OCD's amongst us.
see if your smart enough to work out why ?
Maybe drainage or a dicky tape measure or manoeuvrability.
It's obviously so he can swing into the area?!

Does look ste however!

Monkeylegend

26,226 posts

230 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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MagneticMeerkat said:
Amusing how the most innocuous of topics can bring out the very worst in people, or my innate bhiness, not sure which. It's a couple of poles and a plastic sheet for God's sake. My opposite neighbour has remodelled the front of her house entirely. The people next door have constructed an extension and built a shed in the garden suitable to house the Starship Enterprise. We all get on with each other. Therefore the answer seems to be to move out of the horribly pretentious end of the commuter belt to the more accepting, enjoyably down at heel climes of the Essex Riviera. Or not. Surrey - yeechh!

However it's clear the carport constructor is a working class person. Therefore all he does is contemptible - including attempts at building work. His dog is working class, his car is working class. American? Perish the thought. Dropped kerbs, paved over gardens. I know, the barbarians have taken over. I'd imagine he's got a massive television on a thirty year repayment Brighthouse contract, brown leather sofas and, whisper it, laminated flooring. It's absolutely disgusting really, working class people flashing money about, trampling on our dearly held social ideals and conventions. I don't think he should have a car at all. Instead he should have to walk everywhere, perhaps in front of one of the gentry to open doors for them. He should have to apologise to all those who vicariously took offence to, well, nothing at all.

Having said that he lives in a working class area. So why do you care?
Until you posted this none of the above had crossed my mind. I just see a not very attractive construction sticking out from the front of the house which clearly violates planning laws, according to his local planning authority.

I assume you live in a similar environment but really wish you could better yourself wink

Troubleatmill

10,210 posts

158 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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MagneticMeerkat said:
It's a couple of poles and a plastic sheet for God's sake.
Nail - head.

JONSCZ

1,178 posts

236 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Leptons said:
wonderwebb said:
garage 2260mm wide car 1943mm wide id have to drive in with roof down and climb out ! recipe for disaster the way i reverse.
Right, so you have 150+ mm a side. Park close to the left wall, put carpet on the right hand wall so you don't damage your door and stop being a retard.

Unless you're very fat of course.

In fact, even better. Screw some chocks to the floor, push car into garage, chocks behind rear wheels. Problem solved.

Edited by Leptons on Saturday 20th December 22:25
This is by far the best idea, except park it close to the RIGHT wall and put carpet on the LEFT wall so you don't damage the driver's door.
(Think about it...! - unless you are reversing it into the garage)

Edited by JONSCZ on Sunday 21st December 17:38

scdan4

1,299 posts

159 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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MagneticMeerkat said:
stuff
rofl


Looking at the picture I think there is clearance to drop the height by a third. Offer that as a compromise.

VolvoT5

4,155 posts

173 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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I would be upset if you put that up next to my house, it looks an eye sore. A couple of thoughts as well: is it bolted down in any way? - If not any strong wind and it will got flying surely. How strong is the roof? It looks completely flat and made of that flimsy plastic material; couple of inches of snow and it might collapse anyhow.

Take it down and get a car cover or preferable a smaller and nicer car that fits in the garage.

crostonian

2,427 posts

171 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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It's an eyesore and I wouldn't want it near my house. However you could legally park a Sprinter van, caravan or motorhome on the same space, I wouldn't want any of these next to my house either but there'd be nothing I could do about it unless there were some local by laws in place. I think the OP we be better just buying a quality car cover.

Blib

43,793 posts

196 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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That "thing" has no chance of doing the job it's been constructed to do. It's useless as a means of protecting the car from the elements in all but the most benign of conditions.

The original car cover is by far the better solution.

SuperHangOn

3,486 posts

152 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Pretty amazing you would go to all that effort and expense without spending 5 minutes googling permitted development. The fact that nobody else has built one should have been a clue.

Pointless crap like this just causes totally unnecessary grief between neighbours.

MintSprint

335 posts

113 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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SuperHangOn said:
Pretty amazing you would go to all that effort and expense without spending 5 minutes googling permitted development.
Fair play to the fella, he did:

wonderwebb said:
I read the planning portal and got it wrong.
But look at the grammar, spelling and punctuation on his posts: he's only borderline literate, so it's asking for trouble, expecting him to interpret the technical guidance on the Planning Portal correctly.

It would have been sensible for him to speak to his local Planning department, to confirm his understanding before putting the thing up, but I guess that's easy for us to say in retrospect?

Edited by MintSprint on Sunday 21st December 19:17

badboyburt

2,043 posts

176 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Turn it into a nativity scene, get all the neighbours round to enjoy it then leave it up for next year, just park the car in there from Jan to end of Nov.


Tony 1234

3,465 posts

226 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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What an amusing thread this has turned out to be laugh and no I wouldn't like that abomination (sorry OP) next to my house smash

anonymous-user

53 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Martin_Hx said:
Yeah it's not brilliant and looks too home made but come on.... How awesome is the car! smile
Not very.

If you don't take it down, the neighbours or the weather will.

Use a car cover if you must, at least it hides the mid-life-crisis mobile away from public.

bramley

1,670 posts

207 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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£200? Custard test on receipts please. £20 to a charity of your choice if you're right smile

Liquid Tuna

1,398 posts

155 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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I don't think it looks that bad at all. It's not like it's a listed building in the middle of the Devon countryside he's built it on. If he were my neighbour and I came home to find that on the driveway next to mine, I'd think he was a fool for not putting sides on it, but that's about it.

I've seen far, far worse, including a neighbour opposite me who's remodelled their house and put two massive chrome balls at the end of their driveway - absolutely lethal when the sun shines the wrong way.


Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Sunday 21st December 2014
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Nice car, awful structure that won't do the intended job. As echoed by many, find a plan B.
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