Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[TwigtheWonderkid]

AndyDubbya said:

Sister-in-law: "I wouldn't trust him with a barge pole."

I bet she wouldn't touch him as far as she could throw him.

[CanAm]

viscountdallara said:

Another eclipse one.

I mentioned this mornings solar eclipse.
She replies.. "Which one was it ?"
ME... " The one where the moon passes between us and the sun"
HER..." What's the other one called, the one where the sun comes in front of the moon ?"

I kid you not !!!!!!!!!!

Be fair; she knew there was such a thing as a lunar eclipse - she just had the bodies in the wrong order!

Meanwhile, from Mrs CanAm watching TV, "I hate these fly on the ceiling documentaries".

[Nimby]

CanAm said:

Be fair; she knew there was such a thing as a lunar eclipse - she just had the bodies in the wrong order!

Both Liz Bonnin and one of the BBC weather ladies talked about "the moon casting its shadow on the sun".

[Gandahar]

My wife this week after I put a large ham bone from pets at home on top of the oven extractor fan so the doggy couldn't nick it

"What's this humongous bone? Do we still need it up here?"

And me with my daughter in the car.

Me "If you are worried about getting fat why don't you play more sport? Badminton is good"
Her "I'm not good at that, I prefer tennis but I am no good at it"
Me " But with badminton the shuttlecock floats more so easier to hit"
Her " I've always been better with balls".

Me

"So you are better with balls than cock?"

To which she knew I was being rude and then tried to to out do me with some crap joke about the bus coming, fnnar fnnar. Fell completely flat compared to my expert rudeness.

So we drove home in silence and she played Minecraft whilst I watched Blakes Seven.

[illmonkey]

Who was driving?!

[Gandahar]

illmonkey said:

Who was driving?!

Me badly whilst sniggering. We might have run over a pensioner but luckily no damage. They have artificial hips that can sometimes cause your tracking to be thrown out of kilter.

[C.A.R.]

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.

[illmonkey]

Gandahar said:

illmonkey said:

Who was driving?!

Me badly whilst sniggering. We might have run over a pensioner but luckily no damage. They have artificial hips that can sometimes cause your tracking to be thrown out of kilter.

Whilst watching blakes seven, right?

[Dennis99]

C.A.R. said:

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"

Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war.

[DannyScene]

C.A.R. said:

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.

Eh what the hell was she trying to say?

[Pothole]

Dennis99 said:

C.A.R. said:

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"

Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep...

[SpeckledJim]

DannyScene said:

C.A.R. said:

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.

Eh what the hell was she trying to say?

Guessing she misread a sign on the cage that said they like to live in pairs?

[DannyScene]

SpeckledJim said:

DannyScene said:

C.A.R. said:

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"


I lost it.

Eh what the hell was she trying to say?

Guessing she misread a sign on the cage that said they like to live in pairs?

Ohhh of course!

[irocfan]

Pothole said:

Dennis99 said:

C.A.R. said:

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"

Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep...

that reminds me of the Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch.

[simoid]

DannyScene said:

Ohhh of course!

A bit like the old joke about the boy looking round the zoo for "Dangeroos" (rhymes with kangaroos)

[Ari]

Dennis99 said:

Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war.

Listen veeri carfully, I shall zay zis onli once.

[Nimby]

simoid said:

A bit like the old joke about the boy looking round the zoo for "Dangeroos" (rhymes with kangaroos)

You reminded me of this, where a serif font might be better:

[Pothole]

irocfan said:

Pothole said:

Dennis99 said:

C.A.R. said:

Walking around the petshop at the weekend letting my daughter see the animals and fishes.

Mrs says, quite profoundly; "did you know rabbits like to live in Paris?"

Sounds like one of those secret phrases spies would use in the cold war.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep...

that reminds me of the Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch.

I suspect that was in part inspired by the film that line's from.

[simoid]

Mrs S:

"The mind baffles."

[Willy Nilly]

I went to see a friend on Tuesday that is undergoing chemotherapy and gave her a hand washing up while she's feeling iffy. She's bit of a leftie and started talk about KFC for some reason that escapes me. I interjected that another friend of mine supplies chickens to KFC to which she though he had a few chucks clucking arond his yard "no, he has 30,000 in a shed". "oh".