Difficult review

Author
Discussion

CookieCook

Original Poster:

2 posts

109 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
All a bit cloak and dagger posting under an anon. name but last thing I want is for my boss or "subordinate" to get wind!

I have to undertake a review with a member of my team. It's a small team of 4 including me as their manager. 2 of them are hard working, get on with the job, have a bit of a laugh when we can and generally enjoy what they are doing. The 3rd person doesnt. They do their job fine but take great offense if anyone says something even remotely detrimental. We're talking really minor things that most people wouldnt even take notice of. To them its a case of having to speak to me "on record" about it. Got to the point last time where I just told them I didnt think what was said was offensive and that they were being overly sensitive. I've also noticed they keep a diary of everything said or done by me and one of their co-workers. We have a weekly team meeting over a coffee and review the week where normally they just keep quiet, However I've been told by one of my team that this 3rd person then spends 10 minutes moaning about me and how they are spoken to and treated which is pretty much the same as everyone else!

Review time is looking and this 3rd person has made great noise about it. Silly comments like "hope theres enough room on the form for what I've got to say" etc etc

TBH if this 3rd person decided to look for another job I dont think anyone would mind but they can do the job quite well. It's just they are hard work, quite needy and like constant praise. Not something that fits in to their working environment which is pressurised and fast paced.

Quite frankly in my position I dont have time for it, if I wasnt working for such a big company I'd probably just tell them to find another job but thats not the done thing.

So, after a lot of waffle the question is how to approach this at their review. My manager knows the situation and has said they dont want to be involved because they would probably tell 3 to ps off. I want to approach the subject before 3 does and have some answers for them. They love trying to look important in the team and "get one up" on me in front of 1 & 2 and anyone else they can. Something 1 & 2 realise and comment on.

Any advise or comment?

530dTPhil

1,374 posts

217 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
Presumably they will submit their appraisal form in advance of the meeting and give you time to prepare. You should be able to interpret the directions that the meeting might take from the tone of their submission.

brickwall

5,192 posts

209 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
I'd say they need to leave, and I'd use the review as a good time to start opening the door for them.

I would prepare in two ways:
a) Set out, with evidence, how attitude and positive contribution are part of expected performance, and how that specifically includes taking feedback in a constructive manner
b) Set out, with evidence, specific instances where they have not demonstrated these behaviours, and are thus falling short of expectations.

Put them on formal performance management after this. Get advice from HR about what this entails.

If their reaction is anything like what might be expected from your description, with any luck they'll resign. If not, at least you've started the process.

Sharted

2,615 posts

142 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
Maybe it's you that is being too sensitive.

If he's doing his job well and the bulk of your concern is that office gossip tells you that he has been bhing behind your back I would simply ignore for now and deal with any concerns he raises in a businesslike way.

Gargamel

14,957 posts

260 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all

Just step back for a moment, what do you think is driving this behaviour.

Keeping a diary of conversations is usually only done to either raise a grievance in the future or for a law suit.

It sounds like they aren't bought in to your management style, and they are undermining you to other colleagues.

But to what purpose, do they want your job, frustrated over lack of promotion, opportunity - bitter about something.

Personally I would try to uncover their motivation,

Trying to correct behavior without understanding their motivation is going to end badly.

andy-xr

13,204 posts

203 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
CookieCook said:
They do their job fine but take great offense if anyone says something even remotely detrimental. We're talking really minor things that most people wouldnt even take notice of. To them its a case of having to speak to me "on record" about it. Got to the point last time where I just told them I didnt think what was said was offensive and that they were being overly sensitive.
That's not good people management if you want to be enaged with your team and are willing to take on what they want to say

CookieCook said:
Review time is looking and this 3rd person has made great noise about it. Silly comments like "hope theres enough room on the form for what I've got to say" etc etc
Again, people managment. How have you responded? With something that they feel puts them down? Or something like 'Sure, we've got a full ream of A4, I can bring that in and we can go through it'



CookieCook said:
TBH if this 3rd person decided to look for another job I dont think anyone would mind but they can do the job quite well. It's just they are hard work, quite needy and like constant praise. Not something that fits in to their working environment which is pressurised and fast paced.
That sounds like you've made a judgement already

CookieCook said:
Quite frankly in my position I dont have time for it


As does that. You've not being given or have developed the skills you need to manage people effectively. That's something to take to your review

CookieCook said:
I want to approach the subject before 3 does and have some answers for them. They love trying to look important in the team and "get one up" on me in front of 1 & 2 and anyone else they can.
I dont think giving answers is really what they're looking for, it sounds like they want to be heard and listened to. Solutions arent always needed right there and then, it could be that you take 2 reams of A4 in with you, the other person gets chance to air what they have issues with, you put them into a, b and c priority, then you agree when you'll come back to them with progress. Organise another meeting for 2 weeks on.

What you'll end up with if you dont try now is an exiting employee that you have to replace, together with a compromise agreement or a tribunal for bullying. I guess it's up to you if you want that hassle. As you've said, they do their job fine, so a performance review isnt really going to cut it. It's a temawork thing, and as their manager that's your gig.

If you cant be arsed, from the sounds of it, you're in the wrong job for what management want you to do, which is to take the st off them that they dont want to deal with. Sometimes you're a pigeon, sometimes you're a statue


ETA - use of adverbs and adjectives, particularly the 'ly' ones.
Merely / Simply / Frankly / More Importantly / Really. When people hear these in connection with something about them, it means to them that they've not been understood, or they're used as attack being a defence by the person saying it


'I merely suggested that you should get more involved' = I dont know why you're getting all worked up about this, you shouldnt be offended by what I've said. When this lands on someone, they think 'This guy's attacked me, then made it out to be such a small issue that I should now feel daft for even bringing it up. But I've had a knock and there's no recourse'



Edited by andy-xr on Tuesday 24th February 10:57

p2c

393 posts

127 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
As others have alluded to, i think you need to review yourself as a manager. One size fits all and my way or the highway is not the best way, you may get away with it if you have a team all with the same/similar personality types, and granted it may be harder work if you have the majority of the team that require one style and a single member that needs a different one. But quite frankly that is the job of a manager so not having time for it is not really an excuse.

Chances are they are being unreasonable in some of their expectations, but then its probably because they are frustrated that they don't feel listened to so they get into a downwards spiral. They are screaming out for a life line and its now up to you to pull them back and IMHO you are going to have to try as if they are writing down whats going on then they aren't going to just quietly go off and find another job. Even the comment about the "enough paper" indicated they want you to listen to them and fix things rather than them disappearing.

Have you had any management training, i'm guessing as this sounds like a team leader position/small team the answer is likely not, but at least go away and research the personality types and apply them to your team and look at how you could change how you manage this individual more effectively.

For starters when they come to you with a whinge about something that has been said, do you tell them to stop being so sensitive, or do you tell them what the other person has said about them doesn't matter to you. The first puts them down, the second puts the comment or the person making it down and shows them they are more important to you than the comment or the commentator. Either way you have dealt with the comment quickly and informally without further time to be spent, but one has built bridges the other has eroded the banks under the bridge.

You say they don't speak up in team meeting, do you give them an opportunity for one to one informal chats, something as simple as a "chance" encounter at the drinks machine and rather than asking them if you can press the coffee button for them or standing in silence ask them what their thoughts are on a subject from the meeting and give them an opportunity for input in a different environment they may feel more comfortable with. They obviously can express their opinion, just not with you in a team meeting. Who knows, when they get more comfortable talking to you and feel their opinion is actually valued they may start opening up in the team meeting.

CookieCook

Original Poster:

2 posts

109 months

Wednesday 25th February 2015
quotequote all
First, thanks for everyones replies, appreciate the time you took and even if I dont like to hear some of the comments they're probably right! And, no, I havent had any formal management training but have managed numerous teams from 5-80 people in different industries. Admittedly in what are normally project based, using contractors under very pressurised conditions with little scope for hand holding, coaching or moral support. Case of get in, get on and get out and if you cant do it your in the wrong place. This is the first time I am managing teams who are employees and I recognise I need to tone it down and take a different approach,

Anyway, yesterday I spent a few minutes working with 3 on a couple of bits (normally everyone is autonomous) and referred back to some of the things they'd said a few days ago. Acknowledged one of their ideas and followed it up.

Gave them some positive feedback on a couple of points and defended them when they were put in the firing line by my manager for a mistake they had made but only when under a lot of pressure. And (as suggested) when someone said something in an email they didnt like I told them I didnt see it as a problem and they should just ignore it.

They were definitely a lot more positive and this week in particular circumstances will mean I will be working more closely with them.

So, we'll see how it goes this week and I'll put the review off for a bit.