Would you let your daughter take up horse riding?
Discussion
"Of course, what are you soft??!!"
Is the response I expect. But I'm not risk averse and am a big believer in the value of life experiences, especially those that get them out in the great outdoors etc
BUT, I have serious reservations about this one.
Background is that OH's family are horse mad, owning many of the beasts. They're already doing their best to indoctrinate her into a horse mad kid and she's only two ffs! They've bought her a pony already and make a big fuss about it when she goes to stay etc It's all just assumed she will ride and she will love it and it's all jolly good fun blah blah blah
But I'm thinking ahead a bit and thinking "hold on a minute, it's my job to protect this kid from undue risk" I don't want her spending her life in a f
king wheelchair (I know extreme perhaps) just because I walked sleeping into a scenario of someone else's design. Would I actively encourage a boy to hop on a motorbike at 16?? 
hmm probably not actually.
Some of the statistics are pretty grim:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/sto...
So, I won't bleat on too much but would welcome some input on the issue. I'm tempted to put my foot down as once she's a bit older it won't be fair to hit reverse but I don't want to be a dick and let my fatherly instincts deprive the kid of enjoyment, but there is a balance to be struck here right?
Is the response I expect. But I'm not risk averse and am a big believer in the value of life experiences, especially those that get them out in the great outdoors etc
BUT, I have serious reservations about this one.
Background is that OH's family are horse mad, owning many of the beasts. They're already doing their best to indoctrinate her into a horse mad kid and she's only two ffs! They've bought her a pony already and make a big fuss about it when she goes to stay etc It's all just assumed she will ride and she will love it and it's all jolly good fun blah blah blah
But I'm thinking ahead a bit and thinking "hold on a minute, it's my job to protect this kid from undue risk" I don't want her spending her life in a f
king wheelchair (I know extreme perhaps) just because I walked sleeping into a scenario of someone else's design. Would I actively encourage a boy to hop on a motorbike at 16?? hmm probably not actually. Some of the statistics are pretty grim:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/sto...
So, I won't bleat on too much but would welcome some input on the issue. I'm tempted to put my foot down as once she's a bit older it won't be fair to hit reverse but I don't want to be a dick and let my fatherly instincts deprive the kid of enjoyment, but there is a balance to be struck here right?
How do you feel about her taking drugs?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7876425.stm
However, it get them out in the fresh air, and does teach them a sense of responsibility.
Disclaimer, I had a pony as a kid and now have a motorbike, but don't take drugs
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7876425.stm
However, it get them out in the fresh air, and does teach them a sense of responsibility.
Disclaimer, I had a pony as a kid and now have a motorbike, but don't take drugs
I can only presume the in-laws know what they're doing with horses and wouldn't subject their granddaughter to any unnecessary risks. You may as well let her have a go, she may like the whole stinky animal thing, she may not enjoy it at all. Either way is better than choking on cotton wool or being suffocated by bubble wrap.
For the risk factor issue no I don't have a problem with it. From a "it's fecking expensive" point of view I'd discourage it though. If inlaws want to have a horse for her in their land with all the kit etc then so be it... As long as they keep buying the stuff for her in future if she gets really into it!
The only thing that would put me against horses is the cost. I have a couple of mates who own horses and (besides the amount of time they have to spend each day cleaning, feeding and generally buggering about), they hardly ever seem to ride them as they are either lame, sick, grumpy or whatever. One managed to severely injure its foreleg in a panicked run over a cattle grid and has cost thousands in vet bills.
If you want to spend half your day shovelling dung, get a job in a zoo, at least the animals will be more interesting.
If you want to spend half your day shovelling dung, get a job in a zoo, at least the animals will be more interesting.
As a childless chap I feel very well placed to advise on this.
This is perhaps one of the first major issues you will have encountered with your child where you have to balance the expectations of others with your desires and fears, those of your wife/partner and generally make a call on something that will likely shape a good chunk of the next 16+ years.
I am not a fan of horse riding although I do it from time to time and know many people with broken limbs and missing teeth thanks to their love of 2 tonne idiots with more legs than brain cells. You have however apparently married into a Horsey family and must have known the day a girl child appeared that this was coming. You will not win this battle if you try to stick your feet in, the outlaws will see to that with their conversations with Grand daughter and daughter. Instead take control and set down ground rules.
Do not forget to remind them that as soon as she is able to you will also be taking her down the local kart track. When they start to kick off with this just remind them how much greater the chances of suffering a life changing injury horse riding is compared to karting or motorsport.
This is perhaps one of the first major issues you will have encountered with your child where you have to balance the expectations of others with your desires and fears, those of your wife/partner and generally make a call on something that will likely shape a good chunk of the next 16+ years.
I am not a fan of horse riding although I do it from time to time and know many people with broken limbs and missing teeth thanks to their love of 2 tonne idiots with more legs than brain cells. You have however apparently married into a Horsey family and must have known the day a girl child appeared that this was coming. You will not win this battle if you try to stick your feet in, the outlaws will see to that with their conversations with Grand daughter and daughter. Instead take control and set down ground rules.
Do not forget to remind them that as soon as she is able to you will also be taking her down the local kart track. When they start to kick off with this just remind them how much greater the chances of suffering a life changing injury horse riding is compared to karting or motorsport.
austinsmirk said:
mine are 3 and 5.
simple answer is no. horse riding and that "set" of people is a world I want nothing to do with.
let alone the risk factor.
This is also a very good point. simple answer is no. horse riding and that "set" of people is a world I want nothing to do with.
let alone the risk factor.
You think that Mums at the school gate are bad, not a patch on this lot. Also there is so much smoke and mirrors and so many ways to be ostracised or to fall out of favour that it is unbelievable. Lots of people living a lifestyle beyond their means and their dealings with others can often reflect this.
Then comes the world of buying and selling animals - there is a whole unwritten rule book on that topic that basically seems to say 'if you are selling then people will rook you for every single thing that they can and will still expect to hand back a lame horse and get a full refund 5 months after they bought it and after their vet has fully inspected it. You will have to bend over and take it as if you were to refuse words would be had, your daughter quietly dropped from events, not getting the letter or e-mail about changes or plans and your daughters friends being told not to associate with her because you 'ripped off Emma's Mum'.
Rude-boy said:
As a childless chap I feel very well placed to advise on this.
This is perhaps one of the first major issues you will have encountered with your child where you have to balance the expectations of others with your desires and fears, those of your wife/partner and generally make a call on something that will likely shape a good chunk of the next 16+ years.
I am not a fan of horse riding although I do it from time to time and know many people with broken limbs and missing teeth thanks to their love of 2 tonne idiots with more legs than brain cells. You have however apparently married into a Horsey family and must have known the day a girl child appeared that this was coming. You will not win this battle if you try to stick your feet in, the outlaws will see to that with their conversations with Grand daughter and daughter. Instead take control and set down ground rules.
Do not forget to remind them that as soon as she is able to you will also be taking her down the local kart track. When they start to kick off with this just remind them how much greater the chances of suffering a life changing injury horse riding is compared to karting or motorsport.
Interesting. This is perhaps one of the first major issues you will have encountered with your child where you have to balance the expectations of others with your desires and fears, those of your wife/partner and generally make a call on something that will likely shape a good chunk of the next 16+ years.
I am not a fan of horse riding although I do it from time to time and know many people with broken limbs and missing teeth thanks to their love of 2 tonne idiots with more legs than brain cells. You have however apparently married into a Horsey family and must have known the day a girl child appeared that this was coming. You will not win this battle if you try to stick your feet in, the outlaws will see to that with their conversations with Grand daughter and daughter. Instead take control and set down ground rules.
Do not forget to remind them that as soon as she is able to you will also be taking her down the local kart track. When they start to kick off with this just remind them how much greater the chances of suffering a life changing injury horse riding is compared to karting or motorsport.
I am a skier and the OH always mentions that when I bring up horse riding risks! But I don't believe the risks to be in the same league.
OH is obviously blinded by her childhood experiences and won't hear a bad word against it, which bothers me. If the risks were taken seriously and acknowledged then I might feel less uneasy.
RE: Costs are borne by them so not a massive worry on that front.
RE back protection, helmet etc. Common sense says this is not going to help much in the event of a serious fall or the horse coming down on top of you.
What do people think of the link? Many of us, myself included, spurn motorbikes because of the relative risks. I love speed and adrenaline but on balance don't think the risk is worth it... so why is this different?
This issue drove a wedge between myself and my wife and daughter.
Horses are money sponges and suppliers of heartache in equal measure, many equestrian people are untrustworthy, borderline mental or both, ditto for the animals.
In my case it started with her having riding lessons at a nearby stables then quickly developed into an obsession which took up every evening and weekend along with most of our disposable income.
I could go on but I think my point is made, I just give thanks that she was never seriously injured.
Horses are money sponges and suppliers of heartache in equal measure, many equestrian people are untrustworthy, borderline mental or both, ditto for the animals.
In my case it started with her having riding lessons at a nearby stables then quickly developed into an obsession which took up every evening and weekend along with most of our disposable income.
I could go on but I think my point is made, I just give thanks that she was never seriously injured.
DoubleSix said:
OH is obviously blinded by her childhood experiences and won't hear a bad word against it, which bothers me. If the risks were taken seriously and acknowledged then I might feel less uneasy.
Sounds like you need to have an open and honest discussion with your OH about it to be honest, but then it sounds like you've already tried to some extent?DoubleSix said:
RE back protection, helmet etc. Common sense says this is not going to help much in the event of a serious fall or the horse coming down on top of you.
The scenarios you mention are rare. Much more common would be lesser falls - why wouldn't you protect yourself against injury in those?I wear a helmet when cycling. Not because I think it's going to save me if I get squashed by a car but it does help keep my scalp intact if I fall off and scrape my head along the ground (not that uncommon).
As you say, the only way guaranteed to avoid a serious incident is not to take part, but that may cost you more in your relationship with your family than the risk of a serious incident in the first place.
ewenm said:
DoubleSix said:
RE back protection, helmet etc. Common sense says this is not going to help much in the event of a serious fall or the horse coming down on top of you.
The scenarios you mention are rare. Much more common would be lesser falls - why wouldn't you protect yourself against injury in those?I wear a helmet when cycling. Not because I think it's going to save me if I get squashed by a car but it does help keep my scalp intact if I fall off and scrape my head along the ground (not that uncommon).
As you say, the only way guaranteed to avoid a serious incident is not to take part, but that may cost you more in your relationship with your family than the risk of a serious incident in the first place.
DoubleSix said:
Well of course, I wasn't suggesting she shouldn't wear them! Only that they offer me little comfort in the context of my concerns.
Right, you needs some hard stats from horsey-world. - What percentage of rider-miles ends in a significant injury?
- How does that compare to other "risky" activities?
However, I think your wife's family history means you're onto a loser trying to prevent it...
Timmy40 said:
OP, I'd say you lost this battle when you decided to get together with a female from a horsey family. Your best bet would be to try and produce a son so you have someone to go to sporting events/ motor shows whilst his sister blathers on about horses to her friends all weekend.
Most amusing thing is knowing what I know now if I had ever had a son sure as hell I would have been introducing them to riding. A very good friend of mine is a farrier and has been riding since before he could walk almost. Summer holidays from 12-13 onwards were like listening to someone reading from the Bumper Book of teenage boy's dreams from being one of 3 boys around 100+ girls to the places he was taken by friends parents that he would never have had the chance to do within the social set of his family.These days he still seems to get the chance to knock in one extra nail at least every other day
That said he has hands like hams, a load of teeth missing (wears a plate) and metal in at least 2 limbs.
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