Life tips to share........

[bencollins]

here's a few that help me, maybe you have some to share.

1) Ten hours sleep Thursday so you are fresh for the weekend.
2) Grow at least some plants, very soothing.
3) Ctrl & Shift and semi colon = today's date in a date formatted cell (excel)
4) Use numerical and categories plus ISO std date format on all docs so they list logically 001-GarageReceipts-YYYY-MM-DD-DocumentName
5) If you think birds with big eyes are beautiful try shoving your finger up an owl's bum*
6) Cherish your other half.

• nicked from viz.

[RobinBanks]

Girls only want boyfriends with great skills (not the African bum disease)

Like nunchuk skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills

[RobinOakapple]

Don't have children.

[Sump]

Make a fk load of coin.

[bencollins]

make sure "thaumaturge" is part of your job title

[Argybargy]

Never put a sock in a toaster*

(Credit to Eddie Izzard)

[The Moose]

Girls don't like boys. Girls like cars and money.

Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny.

Girls with good bodies are like boys with Ferraris. Off to the classifieds I go!

[PoleDriver]

Always try to get a look at the girl's mother before committing yourself!
Don't eat the yellow snow!

[sunnygym]

Never st on your own door step

[Cliftonite]

Always wipe from front to back.

[Stuart70]

Never pat a burning dog.

[barker22]

Never put your fingers anywhere you wouldn't put your willy

[Scousefella]

Bank accounts - always have one more than you admit too.

[Mr Gearchange]

barker22 said:

Never put your fingers anywhere you wouldn't put your willy

There are a multitude of places I wouldn't put my willy where I would willingly put my fingers

[Oceans]

Make like a football manager and send your girlfriend out on loan to gain some experience.

[Japveesix]

Mr Gearchange said:

barker22 said:

Never put your fingers anywhere you wouldn't put your willy

There are a multitude of places I wouldn't put my willy where I would willingly put my fingers

Like into the freezer cabinet at Tesco Waitrose.

[groundcontrol]

Always check there's enough toilet roll.

[EnthusiastOwned]

PoleDriver said:

Don't eat the yellow snow!

What if it's spilt beer?

[duckwhistle]

Widow's daughters make good wives.

[Jasandjules]

Do what you enjoy, it's too short not to.