Who's 30+ and has no kids through choice?
Discussion
Just wondering what people's thoughts are, how you're getting on etc?
My other half and I aren't planning on any kids (she's REALLY against the idea and I'm not too fussed either way).
It seems that you hear a lot of "oh can't you have any?" or "you'll change your mind".
You rarely see things in the media about people just not having children by choice and being OK with that.
I'm not a child-hater, but I get a lot of satisfaction from other things in life and I like the flexibility. Some people might say that's selfish, but surely it's pretty selfish to bring a life into the world on a whim? I see parenting as being something you have to 100% commit to to do properly.
Sorry, not supposed to be about me - let's hear about you!
If you're under 30, you can comment too!
My other half and I aren't planning on any kids (she's REALLY against the idea and I'm not too fussed either way).
It seems that you hear a lot of "oh can't you have any?" or "you'll change your mind".
You rarely see things in the media about people just not having children by choice and being OK with that.
I'm not a child-hater, but I get a lot of satisfaction from other things in life and I like the flexibility. Some people might say that's selfish, but surely it's pretty selfish to bring a life into the world on a whim? I see parenting as being something you have to 100% commit to to do properly.
Sorry, not supposed to be about me - let's hear about you!
If you're under 30, you can comment too!
33 and non yet, not wanted to be a weekend dad so waited for Mrs right which took longer than I thought.
Not quite on the same but i wanted 2 kids but last year or 2 seeing friends have 1 child happy, content, lots of time for the child, financially comfortable, then seeing the chaos of a second. would I really want to tip that balance by having a second. Obviously the Mrs disagrees
A couple I'm mates with in their 50's don't have kids, like other people's but had no interest in their own live a great, they certainly made up for it.
Not quite on the same but i wanted 2 kids but last year or 2 seeing friends have 1 child happy, content, lots of time for the child, financially comfortable, then seeing the chaos of a second. would I really want to tip that balance by having a second. Obviously the Mrs disagrees
A couple I'm mates with in their 50's don't have kids, like other people's but had no interest in their own live a great, they certainly made up for it.
Edited by bazza white on Monday 11th May 19:15
Loudy McFatass said:
34. 4 out of my 5 best mates now have kids. It's not through choice for me though really.
I'm not very good looking and overweight, I don't go out much as I have no single mates anymore so meeting a female will never happen for me unfortunately.
Eh? The internet is full of women, you don't need to leave the house.I'm not very good looking and overweight, I don't go out much as I have no single mates anymore so meeting a female will never happen for me unfortunately.
For me I'd rather have a dog. Than children, not a woman. Although that sounds quite attractive too.
Yep, you can put me down too.
I am, like you, 1984 vintage so early days as far as my 30s go but I'd be surprised if I changed my mind. I agree that children are something one should be 100% certain about and I'm definitely not. For me it's as much the financial implications that put me off as anything else. Have you seen how much nursery places cost? University at 18? Help onto the housing ladder at 25? The last may seem indulgent but imagine the state it's going to be in another quarter of a century. It might be that it will be the norm for 'children' to live at home well into their 30s. To some this will, doubtless, be a depressing basis for whether or not to have children but can you imagine having to see someone you brought into the world not have the opportunities that you yourself were afforded. f
k. That.
I have considered emigration and it might be that having children is more attractive in Aus / NZ / Canada. Right now that's all I can see changing my mind.
I am, like you, 1984 vintage so early days as far as my 30s go but I'd be surprised if I changed my mind. I agree that children are something one should be 100% certain about and I'm definitely not. For me it's as much the financial implications that put me off as anything else. Have you seen how much nursery places cost? University at 18? Help onto the housing ladder at 25? The last may seem indulgent but imagine the state it's going to be in another quarter of a century. It might be that it will be the norm for 'children' to live at home well into their 30s. To some this will, doubtless, be a depressing basis for whether or not to have children but can you imagine having to see someone you brought into the world not have the opportunities that you yourself were afforded. f
k. That.I have considered emigration and it might be that having children is more attractive in Aus / NZ / Canada. Right now that's all I can see changing my mind.
I'm 35 and have no kids. Originally, up to when I was 30, it was through my own choice and 1 previous relationship I was in ended because I didn't want children at the time.
However since then, further to medication / treatment the last couple of years, I was told that one of the side effects is infertility so that kind of draws a line under that situation if I was in that position again.
There's always adoption anyway. One of my friends adopted a girl a few years ago because his wife had cancer when she was younger, and they are still very happy even though they weren't able to go the "natural" route.
However since then, further to medication / treatment the last couple of years, I was told that one of the side effects is infertility so that kind of draws a line under that situation if I was in that position again.
There's always adoption anyway. One of my friends adopted a girl a few years ago because his wife had cancer when she was younger, and they are still very happy even though they weren't able to go the "natural" route.
Edited by AlexRS2782 on Monday 11th May 19:19
43. One of the first things my now wife and I discussed when we started getting serious. Very happy with our lives and lifestyle. I couldn't imagine not having the flexibility and spontaneity that we enjoy. Plus there is the obvious advantage when it comes to choice of vehicles. Bikes,Caterhams,Jeeps,Unimog,S2000 and we're currently nailing together a Hotrod.We have nieces etc who we enjoy the company of, but it's great leaving them behind for somebody else to do the menial stuff with. One striking thing we note of most people who choose to breed, is that many of them suddenly become unable to talk about anything other than what Tarquin shat into his nappy that morning, etc etc. come on, you weren't a dull so and so before you had a sprog. Plus,there's the added benefit of doing your bit to save the planet, given breeding is probably the worst thing you can do to the planet!!
None here. 35. Wifey is 100% against too. I am meh but don't like kids to start with so not much hope. Our main issues are child care (we don't really have any family between us and we work together in our own company) and also the area we live is not nice at all so the schools etc are junk.
My only regret so far is that when we croak we wont really have anyone to leave anything too. Not talking money but personal items and things which have been passed down. I am also the last male in my family who can carry on the name. So I have a fair few items which have come down the line.
My only regret so far is that when we croak we wont really have anyone to leave anything too. Not talking money but personal items and things which have been passed down. I am also the last male in my family who can carry on the name. So I have a fair few items which have come down the line.
I'm 47 and have no kids. Other half doesn't want them either.
Never really felt slightly paternal and quite happy as we are thanks. We can go on holiday when we want, I don't need to drive an SUV (reason enough) and we can spend our money the way we want. Slightly selfish? Perhaps, but we enjoy our life.
Never really felt slightly paternal and quite happy as we are thanks. We can go on holiday when we want, I don't need to drive an SUV (reason enough) and we can spend our money the way we want. Slightly selfish? Perhaps, but we enjoy our life.
mudster said:
I'm 47 and have no kids. Other half doesn't want them either.
Never really felt slightly paternal and quite happy as we are thanks. We can go on holiday when we want, I don't need to drive an SUV (reason enough) and we can spend our money the way we want. Slightly selfish? Perhaps, but we enjoy our life.
Actually ignore what I said above, I just don't want an SUV.Never really felt slightly paternal and quite happy as we are thanks. We can go on holiday when we want, I don't need to drive an SUV (reason enough) and we can spend our money the way we want. Slightly selfish? Perhaps, but we enjoy our life.
I have 2 kids ( which immediately disqualifies me for this thread I think?) and enough cash and spare time to really enjoy being with them. So I count myself lucky for all that plus the opportunity to experience it.
Life as a TWINKY gave me more spare time - but I still spent just as much on, on cars, bikes, guns, holidays, clothes, nights out, weekends away etc. Basically all the same material stuff I had done as a 20 year old.
As you get older and your friends have kids they will find less and less time for you, because their priorities have changed to looking after their children rather than looking after only themselves.
I work away in various countries around the world for multiple weeks at a time - so I sill get to do the "no kids" thing from time to time, and its nice for a few days but a family is a strong bond so its always nice to come home to screams of "DADDYS BACK!" and them letting me know that I mean the world to them. On the flip side of that is if I didn't have children then I probably would be far more nomadic.
Anyway, if you are really serious about it, have the snip now as then your Mrs wont be forever on birth control and you massively reduce the chances of having any "surprises".
Life as a TWINKY gave me more spare time - but I still spent just as much on, on cars, bikes, guns, holidays, clothes, nights out, weekends away etc. Basically all the same material stuff I had done as a 20 year old.
As you get older and your friends have kids they will find less and less time for you, because their priorities have changed to looking after their children rather than looking after only themselves.
I work away in various countries around the world for multiple weeks at a time - so I sill get to do the "no kids" thing from time to time, and its nice for a few days but a family is a strong bond so its always nice to come home to screams of "DADDYS BACK!" and them letting me know that I mean the world to them. On the flip side of that is if I didn't have children then I probably would be far more nomadic.
Anyway, if you are really serious about it, have the snip now as then your Mrs wont be forever on birth control and you massively reduce the chances of having any "surprises".
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