Convincing the OH that I won't die
Discussion
Obviously she cares about your well being and it is unfortunate that her frame of reference for riding a bike is her friend ending up paralysed.
If your dad rides and is relatively sensible would she go out pillion with him for a while to see that by riding you are not taking your life in your hands every minute?
Other than that say after your CBT/DAS you will do as much training as possible. E.g. IAM, Bikesafe, and also get a "sensible" first bike. If she is still dead set against the idea only you really know how far you can push it and whether things will be alright (or not) if you do get a bike.
If your dad rides and is relatively sensible would she go out pillion with him for a while to see that by riding you are not taking your life in your hands every minute?
Other than that say after your CBT/DAS you will do as much training as possible. E.g. IAM, Bikesafe, and also get a "sensible" first bike. If she is still dead set against the idea only you really know how far you can push it and whether things will be alright (or not) if you do get a bike.
Mrsp, the child bride, mother of MTB, hates bikes with a vengeance, but I took her to the Triumph showroom four years ago to have a look at the bikes and the next day, behind my back, she phoned up and put a deposit on the Street Triple I ve now had for four years.
The woman is either a saint or realises I'm worth more dead than alive.
To cofound the scheming b
h I've not died yet.
The woman is either a saint or realises I'm worth more dead than alive.
To cofound the scheming b
h I've not died yet.Tall_Paul said:
You will die. Everyone dies.
Not me, I am immortal...I've used part-worn tyres, ridden in shorts, bought bikes unseen, filtered at speed and all the other things that ensure you are going to die a sudden and messy death (taking loads of kittens and children with you) and nothing.
All hail me...!
My bike is the main selfish thing I have. It's MY escape, it's MY bike. I have learnt to balance it between home life and bike life. Takes a bit of planning, but it all fits in the end.
The wife hates the bike, it's taken me 4 years to get her to speak to me when I am near it, NOTHING happens quickly when you are trying to change a woman mind.
The wife hates the bike, it's taken me 4 years to get her to speak to me when I am near it, NOTHING happens quickly when you are trying to change a woman mind.
Tall_Paul said:
You will die. Everyone dies.
Tel her instead, that you're taking up horse riding... (bear with me here
) and then when she says "Ok, that's fine" then tell her that riding a horse far more dangerous than riding a motorcyle. Between 6-20 times more dangerous, depending what you read.
Not sure if that'll help or not though
I will not get on a horse after being threw off twice as a kid at horse riding school, once ended up with skin grafts on my back as it threw me done the wall and then the same horse (months later) bucked me off and put a front hoof on my chest, thankfully it didn't apply much weight or I would not be here! That horse ended up dog food (not kidding!) and I have not been on a horse since.Tel her instead, that you're taking up horse riding... (bear with me here
) and then when she says "Ok, that's fine" then tell her that riding a horse far more dangerous than riding a motorcyle. Between 6-20 times more dangerous, depending what you read.Not sure if that'll help or not though
My GSXR1000 and RMZ450 are different, if you want threw off they will oblige and hurt you (RMZ!) but they can't decide it for themselves!
My sister in law will not get on a bike and says they are death traps but happily lets my 10 year old niece on a horse so much so she bought her one. Thankfully nothing serious has happened yet though she has been threw off and hurt..................that's ok though as long as she doesn't get a motorbike, too dangerous!
My bike is a bone of contention for Mrs D-Angle and myself, and it's not even on the road yet. The fact that I'm rebuilding it and she gets to see the time and effort I put into it, and how happy that makes me, has softened her up somewhat. It's a great secret between women that they actually like to see us happy too, don't let them fool you.
You can convince her all day of how careful you will be, it won't change her opinion of other road users and how much risk you are at, sharing the road with them. Chances are she trusts your attitude completely, it's you being at the mercy of Darren from Marketing who is far too busy to use his A4's indicators that's got her back up.
You can convince her all day of how careful you will be, it won't change her opinion of other road users and how much risk you are at, sharing the road with them. Chances are she trusts your attitude completely, it's you being at the mercy of Darren from Marketing who is far too busy to use his A4's indicators that's got her back up.
That's what they claim, "It's not you, it's other road users". Until you say ok, I'll stick to track riding. Then it's "No, you'll kill yourself!" So you offer trials riding. Then the real issue comes out. It's still got two wheels and an engine, it's a death trap! They just hate motorbikes.
As has been said before, there is no point in trying to find logical and sensible arguments. Her “fear” of motorcycling is 90% emotional and only 10% logical with that 10% being based on the fact that, statistically, motorcycling IS more dangerous than car driving.
Your decision is whether to
1. Ignore her fear, and get a bike anyway. – This will cause problems/arguments.
2. Forget bikes (or try!) – This risks building resentment in you and living with lots of regrets.
Neither will be an easy road!
Your decision is whether to
1. Ignore her fear, and get a bike anyway. – This will cause problems/arguments.
2. Forget bikes (or try!) – This risks building resentment in you and living with lots of regrets.
Neither will be an easy road!
Some good discussion and tips here, cheers.
I did try the horse riding thing after I'd had a few which she couldn't really shoot down. I now 'can't afford one' though. I think this sums it up:
Wimmins eh?!
I did try the horse riding thing after I'd had a few which she couldn't really shoot down. I now 'can't afford one' though. I think this sums it up:
black-k1 said:
Her “fear” of motorcycling is 90% emotional and only 10% logical
I think it boils down to me using the money to do something I want that is totally for me and my happiness, that may also may be slightly dangerous. I quote "So you'd rather have a motorbike than go on holiday?!". I answered wrong, which she took to mean that I'd rather have a motorbike than spend any time with her at all. Ever. For the rest of eternity. Wimmins eh?!
It could have nothing to do with the bike at all of course. I used to have a GF who didn't like me rock climbing. Not because of the danger, but because it wasn't with her.
Danger and risk perception is a funny thing. I've been a climber all my life, it's taken me to some fantastic places, to the point where if I fall off and die tomorrow (God forbid) I will shrug my shoulders because that's the price some must pay for any hazardous activity. I am sure there are some here who feel the same about riding a superbike.
The thing is that risk is a function of probability of having an accident, severity of consequences, and exposure frequency. More climbers are injured driving to the mountains than are injured falling off cliffs, simply because you don't spend that much time actually on a cliff compared to time spent in a car. In a 30 year climbing career I have had 3 climbing friends killed - one in a Porsche, one on a Fireblade, and only one actually falling off a cliff. The same applies to bikes. Yes, the stats say that there will be one death per so many hundred thousand miles covered, and this figure is about 5x as bad for a motorbike as for a car, iirc. However few of us spend hundreds of hours a year on a bike, plenty do in a car. You're probably more likely to have that accident when you're in the car, simply because you do so many hours a week in the thing.
My mother always worried about me climbing. Was always happy that I cycled. Ironically the closest I have ever come to death was on a bicycle, when I was hit by some blind tosser in a car 5 years ago. Serious injuries, best part of 2 years unable to work. But climging's dangerous. Well, sometimes it is. But accidents can come from anywhere. Probability's funny like that.
Danger and risk perception is a funny thing. I've been a climber all my life, it's taken me to some fantastic places, to the point where if I fall off and die tomorrow (God forbid) I will shrug my shoulders because that's the price some must pay for any hazardous activity. I am sure there are some here who feel the same about riding a superbike.
The thing is that risk is a function of probability of having an accident, severity of consequences, and exposure frequency. More climbers are injured driving to the mountains than are injured falling off cliffs, simply because you don't spend that much time actually on a cliff compared to time spent in a car. In a 30 year climbing career I have had 3 climbing friends killed - one in a Porsche, one on a Fireblade, and only one actually falling off a cliff. The same applies to bikes. Yes, the stats say that there will be one death per so many hundred thousand miles covered, and this figure is about 5x as bad for a motorbike as for a car, iirc. However few of us spend hundreds of hours a year on a bike, plenty do in a car. You're probably more likely to have that accident when you're in the car, simply because you do so many hours a week in the thing.
My mother always worried about me climbing. Was always happy that I cycled. Ironically the closest I have ever come to death was on a bicycle, when I was hit by some blind tosser in a car 5 years ago. Serious injuries, best part of 2 years unable to work. But climging's dangerous. Well, sometimes it is. But accidents can come from anywhere. Probability's funny like that.
Alapeno said:
I think it boils down to me using the money to do something I want that is totally for me and my happiness, that may also may be slightly dangerous. I quote "So you'd rather have a motorbike than go on holiday?!". I answered wrong, which she took to mean that I'd rather have a motorbike than spend any time with her at all. Ever. For the rest of eternity.
Wimmins eh?!
Add up the shoes & handbags (surplus to standard requirements of "work, leisure, very smart, wet weather"), expensive hair do's, and anything else hobby-wise she has spent money on. There. Now it's your turn to spend £2k on whatever you like, you've each binned a week of boredom on a beach. And assuming you don't have a huge collection of shoes and manbags, in which case you're scuppered.Wimmins eh?!
Oh and as for the wisdom of spending money, a second hand bike is an asset that you can sell and get your money back on (if you choose carefully). Kit similar (buy and sell on ebay, except helmet which must be new). Cost of training - a new skill, useful refresher of driving skill, you'll become a safer car driver.
Kind regards,
A wimmin.
Alapeno said:
I think it boils down to me using the money to do something I want that is totally for me and my happiness, that may also may be slightly dangerous. I quote "So you'd rather have a motorbike than go on holiday?!". I answered wrong, which she took to mean that I'd rather have a motorbike than spend any time with her at all. Ever. For the rest of eternity.
Wimmins eh?!
That's what I did this year. Told the wife I wanted a new motorbike more than going abroad. So I bought a motorbike, and we'll have a short holiday in the Lakes instead of going to America again. Everyone's happy.Wimmins eh?!
I'm in a similar situation to the OP, I want to do my big bike course and test, only because I love classic cars and now want to get a classic bike or two, I don't want anything to commute on or anything modern. She's firmly said no but I'm considering doing it anyway so I think I'll do my CBT first and see how I get on from there..
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