When is enough, enough and how do you come back....
Discussion
As per title really!
How do you pick yourself up from repeatedly being knocked down!
Life was good for a while, had it's ups and downs but always kept fighting and plugging on to get by and normally managed it. A while back it got worse when the only thing I was good at to earn a wage was taken away from me due to even more ridiculous bad luck! Hey ho, such is life.
I tried to find a way around this, then thought I had with a new career path that I really took a gamble on. It went well but was only ever short term, but I was prepared to take that gamble hoping it would lead onto something else. It hasn't, so a year on and I've achieved nowt!!! So back at a very dark square 1, what next???
Other than a 1 way trip to beachy head, how do people keep up the will to survive???
I'd love to know? I never wanted f
king sympathy, an easy life, or charity just a fair crack of the whip, but think even that fell short!
How do you pick yourself up from repeatedly being knocked down!
Life was good for a while, had it's ups and downs but always kept fighting and plugging on to get by and normally managed it. A while back it got worse when the only thing I was good at to earn a wage was taken away from me due to even more ridiculous bad luck! Hey ho, such is life.
I tried to find a way around this, then thought I had with a new career path that I really took a gamble on. It went well but was only ever short term, but I was prepared to take that gamble hoping it would lead onto something else. It hasn't, so a year on and I've achieved nowt!!! So back at a very dark square 1, what next???
Other than a 1 way trip to beachy head, how do people keep up the will to survive???
I'd love to know? I never wanted f
king sympathy, an easy life, or charity just a fair crack of the whip, but think even that fell short!Life can be really crap sometimes. I don't think there is any other way to come back - than to find something to focus on, and then keep going. It's rubbish but that's life. I'm saying this as someone who's had the pills lines up before. I've had some very very dark moments. All I know is that I'm glad I didn't make that decision.
So what you need to do right now is pick something you want to do. Than forget about everything else. It's easy to say but nearly impossible to do. But take out the rubbish from your life for a bit. Money really isn't that important. A house isn't that important, even cars arn't important.
If you need to don't be ashamed to go to the docs. Don't be afraid to speak to someone, it sounds soft but we all needed to be loved and taken care off sometimes. I really struggle with talking - but I find that people would rather listen than see you suffer in silence.
If you are considering doing something silly (and I chose that term purposefully) - remember how selfish it would be. Think about the impact it would have on those you love. And if you need to pick up the phone and call the samaritans, a friend or even just walk into a&e. If you are drinking then stop. If you really want to chat to someone - then send me a message. I'm up and am happy to talk mate.
But most of all - you have the choice to do what you want mate. That makes you powerful. Love yourself.
So what you need to do right now is pick something you want to do. Than forget about everything else. It's easy to say but nearly impossible to do. But take out the rubbish from your life for a bit. Money really isn't that important. A house isn't that important, even cars arn't important.
If you need to don't be ashamed to go to the docs. Don't be afraid to speak to someone, it sounds soft but we all needed to be loved and taken care off sometimes. I really struggle with talking - but I find that people would rather listen than see you suffer in silence.
If you are considering doing something silly (and I chose that term purposefully) - remember how selfish it would be. Think about the impact it would have on those you love. And if you need to pick up the phone and call the samaritans, a friend or even just walk into a&e. If you are drinking then stop. If you really want to chat to someone - then send me a message. I'm up and am happy to talk mate.
But most of all - you have the choice to do what you want mate. That makes you powerful. Love yourself.
You've been knocked down before and you've got up again.
It sounds like you've been through the mill, life can be a real st. You're attitude has pulled you through before and it will again.
Bah, want to have something inspirational to say and some golden words of advice and find myself lacking.
Had a really st time of things around this time last year; pushed through it one day at a time and eventually found myself the other side of it for the most part.
Don't do anything daft and vent all you need on here.
It sounds like you've been through the mill, life can be a real s
t. You're attitude has pulled you through before and it will again. Bah, want to have something inspirational to say and some golden words of advice and find myself lacking.
Had a really s
t time of things around this time last year; pushed through it one day at a time and eventually found myself the other side of it for the most part.Don't do anything daft and vent all you need on here.
photosnob said:
If you are considering doing something silly (and I chose that term purposefully) - remember how selfish it would be. Think about the impact it would have on those you love.
This oft repeated sentiment is bks and I just can't stand it. It's selfish for others to rely on your existence for their happiness and to guilt trip you into actions or inactions that you're not comfortable with.(Not a direct attack on you photo - just the whole reasoning behind the idea that you have to do what makes others happy. It completely disregards what the sufferer is going through and I wish the habit of trotting it out over and again would stop.)
Hey trucker , I've read your posts on here and the truck driving forum , you're a decent bloke with the right ethics , life will sort itself out for you . Count Zero gave the best reply and I'll only echo his sentiments , I operate a few trucks so offering positive inspiration isn't my strong point but I have been at the worse side of life a few times and made it back . 6 hours behind you here in Canada , but if ever you need to talk please feel free to get in touch .
Thoughts with you meantime .
Thoughts with you meantime .
Time heals everything. Cliched and not helpful but really it does. It may be days, weeks, months, years or even decades but stuff gets better.
A belief in that is probably a catalyst for things getting better as you're not beating yourself up if it doesn't happen immediately.
In the mean time, ask for help to be able to cope with the day to day. There is no shame in it. Medication, therapy... Anything that works for you. If it doesn't work then try something else.
As my old grandmother said 'it won't always be dark at 7'
A belief in that is probably a catalyst for things getting better as you're not beating yourself up if it doesn't happen immediately.
In the mean time, ask for help to be able to cope with the day to day. There is no shame in it. Medication, therapy... Anything that works for you. If it doesn't work then try something else.
As my old grandmother said 'it won't always be dark at 7'
I'm going through a similar dark period myself. While I never seriously considered leaving it all behind ( I have too much to live for, my son etc), I did say to a good friend, look, I could use some help here.
That's the key, don't bottle it. If you feel your grip on the day to day stuff is crumbling reach out.
I am getting genuine help and it does work. Every day won't be wonderful, but what you do between those days will make things a bit more bearable. I carried on functioning, working etc but I slid into a hermit existence that I'm only now coming out of.
That's the key, don't bottle it. If you feel your grip on the day to day stuff is crumbling reach out.
I am getting genuine help and it does work. Every day won't be wonderful, but what you do between those days will make things a bit more bearable. I carried on functioning, working etc but I slid into a hermit existence that I'm only now coming out of.
Sorry to hear that, life can be very heavy going at times and you end up feeling that you're the only one affected. People with terrible injuries, or health issues in general, can find enormous reserves to get themselves back to a more enjoyable life and you can do the same.
Find some people to share your concerns with - friends, family, doctor, Samaritans - it really is true that a problem shared is a problem halved. It may be difficult at first but the benefits will be quick to show.
Do something about it - today !
Find some people to share your concerns with - friends, family, doctor, Samaritans - it really is true that a problem shared is a problem halved. It may be difficult at first but the benefits will be quick to show.
Do something about it - today !
Chilli, I remember your posts on this subject last me around; sorry that the latest venture hasn't worked out. But if it's only a job (easy for me to say, I know) and all other things are OK, then it's a soluble problem. You might need to retrain etc, but it would be for a finite time.
There's always light at he end of he tunnel. And all of us who've had a knock and got back up have come to realise that. But we all know how dark it is in the tunnel......
Why not post up some specifics (or PM if you like). There are a lot of people here who'd be willing to help.
There's always light at he end of he tunnel. And all of us who've had a knock and got back up have come to realise that. But we all know how dark it is in the tunnel......
Why not post up some specifics (or PM if you like). There are a lot of people here who'd be willing to help.
Ask for help. Careers advice service, local services. Make use of all the great things in this country that we have. That you have paid for.
Then set yourself a goal. Set yourself a tough but achievable goal. I always thought that was a stupid idea, but it's not. It works.
As already said, you've done it before, you can do it again.
Then set yourself a goal. Set yourself a tough but achievable goal. I always thought that was a stupid idea, but it's not. It works.
As already said, you've done it before, you can do it again.
Edited by DrTre on Friday 16th October 08:16
chilistrucker said:
As per title really!
How do you pick yourself up from repeatedly being knocked down!
Life was good for a while, had it's ups and downs but always kept fighting and plugging on to get by and normally managed it. A while back it got worse when the only thing I was good at to earn a wage was taken away from me due to even more ridiculous bad luck! Hey ho, such is life.
I tried to find a way around this, then thought I had with a new career path that I really took a gamble on. It went well but was only ever short term, but I was prepared to take that gamble hoping it would lead onto something else. It hasn't, so a year on and I've achieved nowt!!! So back at a very dark square 1, what next???
Other than a 1 way trip to beachy head, how do people keep up the will to survive???
I'd love to know? I never wanted fking sympathy, an easy life, or charity just a fair crack of the whip, but think even that fell short!
Success is failing repeatedly but not giving up.How do you pick yourself up from repeatedly being knocked down!
Life was good for a while, had it's ups and downs but always kept fighting and plugging on to get by and normally managed it. A while back it got worse when the only thing I was good at to earn a wage was taken away from me due to even more ridiculous bad luck! Hey ho, such is life.
I tried to find a way around this, then thought I had with a new career path that I really took a gamble on. It went well but was only ever short term, but I was prepared to take that gamble hoping it would lead onto something else. It hasn't, so a year on and I've achieved nowt!!! So back at a very dark square 1, what next???
Other than a 1 way trip to beachy head, how do people keep up the will to survive???
I'd love to know? I never wanted f
king sympathy, an easy life, or charity just a fair crack of the whip, but think even that fell short!Thanks for the replies, they are very much appreciated.
I feel an idiot really for the original post. It's a bit, "woe is me." I guess it just felt like a another really low point last night. After the hassles and struggles of last year, I'm just terrified of ending up back at the same place. I've tried everything to get back on track, was getting by but on the work front there isn't a lot happening at the mo.
I do some chauffeuring for 1 guy, but it's only part time, odd days here and there and also the same with van driving, but again it's only odd days as it's an agency, and most agency driving work is for 7.5 tonne trucks and above. Sadly because of last years head injury, the dvla still won't give me my lorry licences back.
I just feel like I'm going round in circles, and teetering on the edge.
I certainly won't be doing anything silly, to much to lose and wouldn't do that to those around me.
I know there are people far worse off than me, so feel guilty for the woe is me thing but just fed up with staring failure in the face when all I try and do is move forward. I'm sure eventually a corner will be turned at some point, it's just sometimes you wonder to yourself when that will be?
I feel an idiot really for the original post. It's a bit, "woe is me." I guess it just felt like a another really low point last night. After the hassles and struggles of last year, I'm just terrified of ending up back at the same place. I've tried everything to get back on track, was getting by but on the work front there isn't a lot happening at the mo.
I do some chauffeuring for 1 guy, but it's only part time, odd days here and there and also the same with van driving, but again it's only odd days as it's an agency, and most agency driving work is for 7.5 tonne trucks and above. Sadly because of last years head injury, the dvla still won't give me my lorry licences back.
I just feel like I'm going round in circles, and teetering on the edge.
I certainly won't be doing anything silly, to much to lose and wouldn't do that to those around me.
I know there are people far worse off than me, so feel guilty for the woe is me thing but just fed up with staring failure in the face when all I try and do is move forward. I'm sure eventually a corner will be turned at some point, it's just sometimes you wonder to yourself when that will be?
Life is s***ty for must of us. It really is that simple.
All we can do is make the most of what we have. And when I am feeling sorry for myself, I just think of the lady over the road from me who is now dead, but my word she fought cancer for years (went to care home to die and came home six months later to see her first Grandchild be born).
All we can do is make the most of what we have. And when I am feeling sorry for myself, I just think of the lady over the road from me who is now dead, but my word she fought cancer for years (went to care home to die and came home six months later to see her first Grandchild be born).
chilistrucker said:
Thanks for the replies, they are very much appreciated.
I feel an idiot really for the original post. It's a bit, "woe is me." I guess it just felt like a another really low point last night. After the hassles and struggles of last year, I'm just terrified of ending up back at the same place. I've tried everything to get back on track, was getting by but on the work front there isn't a lot happening at the mo.
I do some chauffeuring for 1 guy, but it's only part time, odd days here and there and also the same with van driving, but again it's only odd days as it's an agency, and most agency driving work is for 7.5 tonne trucks and above. Sadly because of last years head injury, the dvla still won't give me my lorry licences back.
I just feel like I'm going round in circles, and teetering on the edge.
I certainly won't be doing anything silly, to much to lose and wouldn't do that to those around me.
I know there are people far worse off than me, so feel guilty for the woe is me thing but just fed up with staring failure in the face when all I try and do is move forward. I'm sure eventually a corner will be turned at some point, it's just sometimes you wonder to yourself when that will be?
stop feeling guilty about woe is me. Think of it less as woe is me and more as a powerful means of expressing your need to process/grieve/rage or what ever it is that is going on on the inside. It will have a natural ending, but treat it like a process and a very important stage before recovery and moving life forwards again.I feel an idiot really for the original post. It's a bit, "woe is me." I guess it just felt like a another really low point last night. After the hassles and struggles of last year, I'm just terrified of ending up back at the same place. I've tried everything to get back on track, was getting by but on the work front there isn't a lot happening at the mo.
I do some chauffeuring for 1 guy, but it's only part time, odd days here and there and also the same with van driving, but again it's only odd days as it's an agency, and most agency driving work is for 7.5 tonne trucks and above. Sadly because of last years head injury, the dvla still won't give me my lorry licences back.
I just feel like I'm going round in circles, and teetering on the edge.
I certainly won't be doing anything silly, to much to lose and wouldn't do that to those around me.
I know there are people far worse off than me, so feel guilty for the woe is me thing but just fed up with staring failure in the face when all I try and do is move forward. I'm sure eventually a corner will be turned at some point, it's just sometimes you wonder to yourself when that will be?
Human beings aren't balls that 'bounce back'. It's very unfair and very harsh on ourselves to think that way.
s
t happens, that is true, but the dealing with the internal stuff that it brings, takes more effort and more time and consideration than just washing off the physical events.What dmn said.
Nothing wrong with what you posted at all.
Other people may well be worse off, and seeing that might put things more in perspective but it doesn't actually change your position in life so it's not a hugely useful observation. Perhaps it is for some, it's not for me. Everyone works through things in different ways... So try lots of different approaches
Nothing wrong with what you posted at all.
Other people may well be worse off, and seeing that might put things more in perspective but it doesn't actually change your position in life so it's not a hugely useful observation. Perhaps it is for some, it's not for me. Everyone works through things in different ways... So try lots of different approaches
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