Shed Of The Week: Jaguar S-Type 4.2

It's a good job a picture is worth a thousand words because the ad isn't telling us much!

400 or so years ago, a bloke from the Midlands said that brevity was the soul of wit. That being the case, he would have found the eight-word ad for this week's SOTW a bit of a rib-tickler. Sometimes, though, as someone should perhaps tell Katie Hopkins, you don't need words. You can guess a lot about a car from the pictures, which, this week, are of a Jaguar S-Type V8.

The old man's old man's Jag!

The word 'Marmite' is often used to describe cars that divide opinion. In the case of the S-Type, 'mealworm' might be a better choice. Outside the Jaguar Enthusiasts' Club it isn't easy to find a diehard S-Type fan.

If that perception is based on looks, you can sort of understand the reticence. Geoff Lawson's bodywork was meant to evoke the classic Jaguar look of the old Mk2s. Marrying a 1950s design to late-1990s mechanicals was always going to be a challenge, and the car was not rapturously received on its 1999 release. The cabin was tight, not so much in build quality as passenger space. The rear seats folded, but that was pretty much essential as the boot was shallow and poorly shaped.

Out in the field, early S-Types didn't pile extra glory onto the Jaguar legend. Trim rattled, suspension wore out and the electrics didn't elect, with various doorlock, window and other motor-activated functions going on Brummie strike. The bootlid failed in its primary duty of not letting the water in, which wasn't good for the boot-mounted battery. The 3.0-litre sixes quickly became known for bottom-end bother.

Cream leather? Check. Wood? Check.

But the good thing about most cars - and Jaguars are no exception - is that they tend to improve with each new iteration. This car is a second-gen X202. You can tell that from the Jaguar bonnet logo: on X202s it forms part of the grille trim, rather than sitting lamely on the bonnet like a lonely button.

Under that bonnet, the creamy 4.0-litre AJ-V8 launch engine was increased in capacity to 4.2 litres for the X202. Our 2003 Shed will also have the six-speed ZF auto box that came along in that year. Those ZF transmissions weren't trouble-free: they gained a reputation for lurching, a quirk that can sometimes be cured by a cocktail of a different AT fluid plus a special additive.

What the six-speeders did give the 4.2 though was effortless cruising. 70mph comes up at a whisper-quiet 2,000rpm in top. The 0-60 came up in six and a smidge seconds, with a governed 155mph top whack.

And a purring V8 under the bonnet - result!

The aforementioned bonnet seems to be missing a chunk of paint, but somehow that adds to the appeal. This is a 170,000 mile car, after all. More importantly, it's a one-owner 170,000-mile Jaguar. Anyone who keeps a car for that long is either strapped for cash or in love. Look at the backdrop to the pics and make your own judgement on that.

Shed is betting that the owner loved his Jag and preferred to leave that bonnet bleb rather than risking a dodgy repair that might spoil its character. Well, either that or he was too mean to mend it. Again, Shed is opting for the charitable view based on that other badge, that posh-looking one on the grille. He can't make out what it is exactly but would lay money on it being either military or Masonic. Either way, it speaks of an owner who would most likely be fastidious in all things, up to and including car stewardship.

Of course, the badge might be commemorating a famous win in the All-Ireland bare-knuckle boxing championships, or chairmanship of the Worshipful Company Of Motor Vendors, in which case all bets are off.

Shed rather likes the S-Type's aardvarkish lines and cocoonish interior and fondly remembers a brief dalliance with a twin-turbo 2.7 diesel. He thinks a call to the owner would in the worst case result in an interesting conversation, and in the best case lead to a new name going onto the V5. There are very few unsupercharged S-Type 4.2s still gliding around the place, and they are very underrated. £38,500 new, these were.

Careful with that back end though. 300hp going through the rear wheels of an 1,800kg barge could be a dream or a nightmare, depending on the weather and/or your wheelmanship skills.

Here's the ad. It won't take long to read.

Great car please contact me for further details.