Lost my Mum last week

[Narcisus]

And my Dad 20 years ago .... Never really got over that but had forgotten just how hard it could be not helped by how truly awful it all played out.

The pain is physical helped a bit by some sleeping tablets and Jack D ... Not at the same time ....

I have a wonderful wife who was there with me but it just feels so strange not to to have my parents. It feels so lonely.

Ah well I dunno what can you do happens to us all I suppose.

[heisthegaffer]

Sorry to hear this mate. Must be incredibly hard.

You look after yourself.

[Scrump]

Sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you get yourself to a happier place soon.

[Mr.Chips]

Sorry to hear this OP. I lost my Mum in 2014 and my Dad in 2017. In my experience you are never the same afterwards, and, at the risk of sounding a bit cliched, it can and does get better. The happy memories come to the forefront of your mind and eventually, you will be able to look back with a smile.

[Narcisus]

Thanks guys appreciate the thoughts

[flatlandsman]

From an only child who this happened to 10 years ago try and remember the good stuff, you wont be able to right now, but eventually bury the awful sights you have seen recently, remember laughing, celebrating, good times you had and in time you will talk to her as if she was still there, it gets much easier, you can never eliminate the bad stuff, but the good stuff should rise up.

[lost in espace]

Sorry Narcisus for your loss. Accept the change if you can in time, of the loss and the hike in your life.

35 years for my dad and 20 for mum. My life seems so different now, in don't think of them often. My dad was selfish suicide, my mum cancer quickly and I do miss her love.

My daughter is in labour at this moment, the kids never knew their grandparents, my grandchild will never see his great grand parents. What do you do, it can't be changed. If you are lucky to have a family, hug them.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Narcisus said:

Ah well I dunno what can you do happens to us all I suppose.

But it doesn't happen to all of us. Plenty of people don't outlive their parents. Losing your parents is crap but.....it's better than the alternative, for you and for them. No parent wants to lose their child.

I don't know if that's of any comfort, but it sounds like you had great parents who you loved and they loved you, and they definitely would have wanted you to outlive them.

[reddiesel]

It happens to most of us . Some on the other hand never know their Parents and muddle through whilst others are abused by them and end up in care or suffering from Mental Health issues . I never had the best of times with mine and have tried to rebuild with my old man now he is 86 and time is fast running out . I am sending Prayers and Positivity to everyone struggling , there is good in all of us and its time we concentrated on finding it . Keep strong fella .

[CloudStuff]

Sincere condeolences. I lost my mum 21 years ago, I have a sense of how you must be feeling right now.

Take comfort from those around you, take things one day at a time and give yourself space to grieve.

I mean this sincerely, I tried to bury my grief and it was a really, really bad idea.

Over time, the grief morphs into something mixed with pride and happiness in remembering them. When I think about my mum now, I have images of happy times and sunny days.

[Narcisus]

Thanks guys today is not an easy day I'm in my 50's and lost my Dad 20 years ago so I have experience of losing a parent but my feelings have caught me totally off guard. I had planned on going back to work after a week but just fell to bits :-(

The Doctor has signed me off for 6 weeks but now I'm also getting no contact from work which is isn't helping and making me feel like I should go back :-(

[Sporky]

Really sorry to hear that. My dad died when I was at uni, so about 25 years ago, and my mum about four years ago.

Doesn't help now, but it does get easier. I'd suggest it's worth taking the time to come to terms with it, but if you need to be working to have the stability and framework around you, that's OK too. Best of luck.

[James_N]

Stumbled accros this thread so thought I'd reply.

I'm a few months short of my 40th birthday. Lost my dD back in November last year and lost my mum back in 2015 to cancer. Very difficult and an absolutely st disease.

I've got a great Mrs but it was still daunting for me, especially being an only child and physically disabled.

As others have said, remember the good times.

Back in 2013, I was single. Earning fair money and still living at home, so had no expenses. I treated me and my parents to two weeks in Nice in a nice villa plus some grandstand tickets to the Monaco GP. Cost me about £6k all in. People thought I was mad at the time, but it was a fantastic two weeks and I'll never get that chance again. Took them to Le Mans also.

Sorry for your loss. Remember the good times, and it does get easier - slowly

[interstellar]

How are you doing op?

[Mobile Chicane]

It doesn't matter how old they were, how ill they were, how 'expected' it was; you're never 'ready' to lose your parents.

I lost both of mine by age 38 (careless I know) and it was tough going.

[Narcisus]

Thanks guys I’m getting there. I’ll be going back to work next Tuesday and feel it’s the right time.

Will post again in a couple of weeks.

[ChevronB19]

Narcisus said:

Thanks guys I’m getting there. I’ll be going back to work next Tuesday and feel it’s the right time.

Will post again in a couple of weeks.

Sending best wishes. I lost my mum during covid (not due to covid), which kind of added to the issues. I’ll always be thankful to the nurses who broke the rules to let us see her one last time.

Take as much time as you need, and don’t be afraid of telling people how upset you are. Some people would be happy to talk but a bit shy about bringing the issue up. I’m really thankful they did.