Time constraints and dealing with the mistakes of others
Discussion
After the positive response to my first post, I've decided to start with a few little articles on the mental aspects of driving, and the characteristics of a good driver.
Stress is something that affects us all on a daily basis, and it's something that can badly affect our driving, so this first article is an attempt to look at two aspects of driving that can cause the most stress - time constraints and other drivers mistakes - and how best to deal with them.
Time Constraints
In my experience, one of the most stressful aspects of driving is having a time constraint. The most common excuse I hear when booking people for excess speed is “I’m sorry, but I’m late for work / a meeting / a fitting with my hat-maker / a funeral / a massage / an appointment with your Chief Constable Officer – if you look in the boot you’ll see my collection of whips and lubricants. Having a time constraint always magnifies small delays into major problems and creates tension. If you’re out for a leisurely drive on a Sunday and you get caught up in some roadworks, it’s not really a problem, but if you’ve set off for work on the last minute, only to find that a water main has burst and some 7-way temporary traffic lights have been set up, then the stress levels will understandably rise.
The most obvious tip to suggest here is to give yourself more time, but I think you’d find that a little patronising to say the least, especially coming from someone who knows the exact minute he has to set off from home which allows him to get to work on time.
I think it’s probably better to look at how to stop that additional stress from affecting your driving. I find that the best way to do that is just to accept that you’re going to be late. These things happen, and getting stressed about it won’t make the problem go away, or make the traffic move any faster. Make some phone calls *, let people know you’re going to be late, and then just take your time. If you’re unexpectedly delayed during a journey, and you decide to “try and make it”, you’re far more likely to start taking risks, and risks, at any level, are something a good driver should avoid at all costs.
Find a “happy place” in your mind – imagine you’re on the beach, or skiing, and when the traffic starts moving again, think about your driving, and not about the time.
*Please note – Reg Local does not condone use of a mobile phone, hands-free or otherwise, whilst driving a car. As we all know, removing your hands from the steering wheel, even for a fraction of a second, could result in death, destruction, and global warming.
Reactions to the mistakes of others
I’ll be the first to admit that this is my biggest fault as a driver. I am extremely intolerant of other people’s mistakes, and this is the biggest single cause of stress to me as a driver. The best advice I was given in relation to this was from a senior instructor – “Reg, forgive them, for they know not what they do”.
If you’re ever in any doubt as to how inattentive and thoughtless the average driver can be, come and have a run out with me at work for a few hours. At some point, we’ll get a “code 1 emergency”, and the blue lights, flashing headlights and sirens will be switched on. Now, having worked for several years at my force driving school, teaching, amongst other things, probationary Officers how to drive correctly en route to an emergency, you’d have thought I’d have seen it all by now, but more often than you’d think, someone will do something astoundingly daft, and force me to re-write the book again.
People will pull out from junctions in front of me, indicate right and then pull to the left, pull out to pass the car in front which has pulled over to let me past, or just sit there, in lane 3 of the motorway, at 85mph, without realising I’m behind for 14 miles.
This is interesting – if there are a substantial minority of drivers out there who can’t see a fully liveried Police car with lights and sirens on, what chance have I got of them seeing me on my way home, in a blue BMW? It’s also the reason why I don’t ride a motorbike.
So, what’s the best way of dealing with these situations? Obviously, when you’re in a Police car, people’s reactions are fairly uniform if they realise they’ve made a mistake – they just want to curl up and die, and apologise profusely. If you’re en route to an emergency, it doesn’t really matter anyway, as you’ve got to continue to the job, and you just want the person out of the way.
If you’re in your own car, however, how do you avoid getting stressed if someone cuts you up, forces you to take avoiding action, or blatantly attempts to kill you?
Let’s go back to what the old sweat instructor told me – “Reg, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. In the vast majority of cases, these people genuinely don’t do these things deliberately. They make mistakes. Once the mistake is made, no amount of horn-blowing, headlight flashing, gesticulating, swearing, and suggestion of what coffee they should be drinking will make the mistake go away. It’s done.
The best drivers I’ve sat alongside take other people’s mistakes in their stride, shrug, and continue as though nothing happened. Unfortunately, I’m not wired that way, and for years, I was a fist-shaking horn-blower.
These days, I’ve learned that the best way for me to deal with these things is to laugh at them. Laugh at how stupid the other driver is – chuckle at their choice of car – guffaw at the aftermarket spoiler they’ve fitted – anything, in fact, that’s remotely amusing about the person, car or situation. If you laugh at it, your stress levels drop almost immediately, and your ability to go back to concentrating on your own driving returns.
You can, of course, learn to spot the drivers who are going to make mistakes, before they actually make them, but I’m off to work in 10 minutes, so that’ll have to wait till next time.
Reg.
Stress is something that affects us all on a daily basis, and it's something that can badly affect our driving, so this first article is an attempt to look at two aspects of driving that can cause the most stress - time constraints and other drivers mistakes - and how best to deal with them.
Time Constraints
In my experience, one of the most stressful aspects of driving is having a time constraint. The most common excuse I hear when booking people for excess speed is “I’m sorry, but I’m late for work / a meeting / a fitting with my hat-maker / a funeral / a massage / an appointment with your Chief Constable Officer – if you look in the boot you’ll see my collection of whips and lubricants. Having a time constraint always magnifies small delays into major problems and creates tension. If you’re out for a leisurely drive on a Sunday and you get caught up in some roadworks, it’s not really a problem, but if you’ve set off for work on the last minute, only to find that a water main has burst and some 7-way temporary traffic lights have been set up, then the stress levels will understandably rise.
The most obvious tip to suggest here is to give yourself more time, but I think you’d find that a little patronising to say the least, especially coming from someone who knows the exact minute he has to set off from home which allows him to get to work on time.
I think it’s probably better to look at how to stop that additional stress from affecting your driving. I find that the best way to do that is just to accept that you’re going to be late. These things happen, and getting stressed about it won’t make the problem go away, or make the traffic move any faster. Make some phone calls *, let people know you’re going to be late, and then just take your time. If you’re unexpectedly delayed during a journey, and you decide to “try and make it”, you’re far more likely to start taking risks, and risks, at any level, are something a good driver should avoid at all costs.
Find a “happy place” in your mind – imagine you’re on the beach, or skiing, and when the traffic starts moving again, think about your driving, and not about the time.
*Please note – Reg Local does not condone use of a mobile phone, hands-free or otherwise, whilst driving a car. As we all know, removing your hands from the steering wheel, even for a fraction of a second, could result in death, destruction, and global warming.
Reactions to the mistakes of others
I’ll be the first to admit that this is my biggest fault as a driver. I am extremely intolerant of other people’s mistakes, and this is the biggest single cause of stress to me as a driver. The best advice I was given in relation to this was from a senior instructor – “Reg, forgive them, for they know not what they do”.
If you’re ever in any doubt as to how inattentive and thoughtless the average driver can be, come and have a run out with me at work for a few hours. At some point, we’ll get a “code 1 emergency”, and the blue lights, flashing headlights and sirens will be switched on. Now, having worked for several years at my force driving school, teaching, amongst other things, probationary Officers how to drive correctly en route to an emergency, you’d have thought I’d have seen it all by now, but more often than you’d think, someone will do something astoundingly daft, and force me to re-write the book again.
People will pull out from junctions in front of me, indicate right and then pull to the left, pull out to pass the car in front which has pulled over to let me past, or just sit there, in lane 3 of the motorway, at 85mph, without realising I’m behind for 14 miles.
This is interesting – if there are a substantial minority of drivers out there who can’t see a fully liveried Police car with lights and sirens on, what chance have I got of them seeing me on my way home, in a blue BMW? It’s also the reason why I don’t ride a motorbike.
So, what’s the best way of dealing with these situations? Obviously, when you’re in a Police car, people’s reactions are fairly uniform if they realise they’ve made a mistake – they just want to curl up and die, and apologise profusely. If you’re en route to an emergency, it doesn’t really matter anyway, as you’ve got to continue to the job, and you just want the person out of the way.
If you’re in your own car, however, how do you avoid getting stressed if someone cuts you up, forces you to take avoiding action, or blatantly attempts to kill you?
Let’s go back to what the old sweat instructor told me – “Reg, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. In the vast majority of cases, these people genuinely don’t do these things deliberately. They make mistakes. Once the mistake is made, no amount of horn-blowing, headlight flashing, gesticulating, swearing, and suggestion of what coffee they should be drinking will make the mistake go away. It’s done.
The best drivers I’ve sat alongside take other people’s mistakes in their stride, shrug, and continue as though nothing happened. Unfortunately, I’m not wired that way, and for years, I was a fist-shaking horn-blower.
These days, I’ve learned that the best way for me to deal with these things is to laugh at them. Laugh at how stupid the other driver is – chuckle at their choice of car – guffaw at the aftermarket spoiler they’ve fitted – anything, in fact, that’s remotely amusing about the person, car or situation. If you laugh at it, your stress levels drop almost immediately, and your ability to go back to concentrating on your own driving returns.
You can, of course, learn to spot the drivers who are going to make mistakes, before they actually make them, but I’m off to work in 10 minutes, so that’ll have to wait till next time.
Reg.
Reg, that's a great post. The thing that winds me up the most when I drive is a lack of attention (and due care) from people. It's reassuring to know that it's not just me who gets irritated by it, and it's therapeutic (ish) to hear that people can be so zoned out that they ignore blues and twos.
Thank you.
Thank you.
My FIL always chuckles when I tell him I want to set off early to make sure I don't miss the ferry (they live over the water).
Over the years we've come across serious accidents, snow storms, cattle on the carriageway but my additional allowance always means we get there in plenty of time. And even when everythig does go to plan and we get there early, we just chill for a bit and have a nice cuppa.
Would I drive fast if I got stuck and was going to miss the ferry? Yes.
Would I drive unsafely or put other people at risk, for the sake of a ferry ticket? Never.
Over the years we've come across serious accidents, snow storms, cattle on the carriageway but my additional allowance always means we get there in plenty of time. And even when everythig does go to plan and we get there early, we just chill for a bit and have a nice cuppa.
Would I drive fast if I got stuck and was going to miss the ferry? Yes.
Would I drive unsafely or put other people at risk, for the sake of a ferry ticket? Never.
Great post Reg and welcome to the forum. Nice to hear that someone so experienced and highly trained still wants to rip the idiots head off and stick it up their a$$. (Only to control themselves and laugh it off) Still my biggest problem area too. Why can't people just give a wave of appology and a humble smile?
Anyhow, look forward to the next post and will try to stay calm
Paul.B
Anyhow, look forward to the next post and will try to stay calm
Paul.B
cw42 said:
Great read, you have mail 
Thanks, but, being new to the site, I may have overlooked it. Is there a personal message system? If there is, could you point me in the right direction?
If not, and its a system that sends email to your email address, then I haven't recieved it.
Cheers,
Reg.
R_U_LOCAL said:
....removing your hands from the steering wheel, even for a fraction of a second, could result in death, destruction, and global warming.
Oh hell, in that case I must have been very lucky the other week down in Cornwall. Mrs TripleS and I were off skiving for a few days (it's our speciality
) and therefore in tootling mood. We travelled one section of road at about 50 mph (I can't remember if it was SC or DC, but it was a very slight RH curve with a nice smooth, even surface and no other traffic in sight. I took both hands off the steering wheel (but kept them very close to it in case of need) and we travelled at least 300 yards before a slight course adjustment was needed. Strangely enough it didn't seem to bring about the end of the world. R_U_LOCAL said:
....come and have a run out with me at work for a few hours.
Well thanks Reg, that's a nice idea, I would like that. Just let me know when you're ready.
Meanwhile thanks for a nice post, it's very helpful if I may say so.
Best wishes all,
Dave.
Edited by TripleS on Tuesday 20th February 14:27
Thats a refreshing view on others inconsiderate driving, well written.
I for one can get very frustrated but i bite my tongue or generally shrug off when other road users make a ass of themselves.
Ive come to the belief that the majority of drivers just get in a vehicle and tend not to think about the task of driving..instead they are more interested in whats for tea? or how many articles there are on the latest wag.
Its a pity but the reason the motorist is an easy target for the government and all there scameras is understandably down to the fact that most motorists treat driving as a necessity rather than actually enjoying it.
I for one can get very frustrated but i bite my tongue or generally shrug off when other road users make a ass of themselves.
Ive come to the belief that the majority of drivers just get in a vehicle and tend not to think about the task of driving..instead they are more interested in whats for tea? or how many articles there are on the latest wag.
Its a pity but the reason the motorist is an easy target for the government and all there scameras is understandably down to the fact that most motorists treat driving as a necessity rather than actually enjoying it.
Good post, and I think I'm very much a 'Reg-type' driver...I've agreed with both of your threads so far, although I'm still very much working on putting this one into practice...when it comes to the MOT I'm expecting it to fail because the horn's given out!!!
As said above, looking forward to the next thread...real world driving advice is very welcome...
As said above, looking forward to the next thread...real world driving advice is very welcome...
Great post Reg! My old studio manager used to say to me, "Emma, just remember whatever happens, nobody is going to die." I think like that if I am running late, "What is the worst that can happen? Nobody is going to die." I try to give myself plenty of slack when driving and if I am running late, I pull over and make a call. Better to get there in one piece than not at all. Before doing the IAM course I used to be like an Italian taxi driver having a bad day if someone did something stupid or careless. Now I am far more tolerant.
R_U_LOCAL said:
cw42 said:
Great read, you have mail
Thanks, but, being new to the site, I may have overlooked it. Is there a personal message system? If there is, could you point me in the right direction?
If not, and its a system that sends email to your email address, then I haven't recieved it.
Cheers,
Reg.
Reg, it would seem you've not set up your email address on here. Could you possibly forward your email to me please as per my profile, and I'll send the email again
Thanks.
Interesting this series of Topics from an highly trained Police Class One driver and instructor.
However, look at at the interest here, a motoring site.
Most out there don't give a monkeys whatever.
Especially as Government is increasingly saying Cars is bad.
"Performance Driving", I do not think that this Government considers that a good thing.
However, look at at the interest here, a motoring site.
Most out there don't give a monkeys whatever.
Especially as Government is increasingly saying Cars is bad.
"Performance Driving", I do not think that this Government considers that a good thing.
WhoseGeneration said:
Interesting this series of Topics from an highly trained Police Class One driver and instructor.
However, look at at the interest here, a motoring site.
Most out there don't give a monkeys whatever.
Especially as Government is increasingly saying Cars is bad.
"Performance Driving", I do not think that this Government considers that a good thing.
However, look at at the interest here, a motoring site.
Most out there don't give a monkeys whatever.
Especially as Government is increasingly saying Cars is bad.
"Performance Driving", I do not think that this Government considers that a good thing.
Some people are willing to spend thousands of extra pounds on optional extras when they buy a car, and others like to spend a fourtune tuning their cars to eke out extra horsepower and obtain better braking performance, etc. Local authorities will spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on traffic calming measures and other expensive engineering projects designed to reduce accident risks. And don't - please don't - get me started on the subject of speed cameras.
A much better alternative to all these schemes would be compulsory "further" driver training. Spend your extra pounds improving the one component in the car that fails more often than any other - the one component that causes more serious and fatal accidents when it does fail - the one component that can get more extra performance out of a car than any other optional extra or tuning component.
The nut behind the wheel.
I hope by writing these little essays, I can make at least a small contribution towards changing peoples attitudes towards advanced driving, and hopefully inspire one or two to seek out further training.
If one person just considers it after reading my ramblings, then it was worth it.
R_U_LOCAL said:
WhoseGeneration said:
Interesting this series of Topics from an highly trained Police Class One driver and instructor.
However, look at at the interest here, a motoring site.
Most out there don't give a monkeys whatever.
Especially as Government is increasingly saying Cars is bad.
"Performance Driving", I do not think that this Government considers that a good thing.
However, look at at the interest here, a motoring site.
Most out there don't give a monkeys whatever.
Especially as Government is increasingly saying Cars is bad.
"Performance Driving", I do not think that this Government considers that a good thing.
Some people are willing to spend thousands of extra pounds on optional extras when they buy a car, and others like to spend a fourtune tuning their cars to eke out extra horsepower and obtain better braking performance, etc. Local authorities will spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on traffic calming measures and other expensive engineering projects designed to reduce accident risks. And don't - please don't - get me started on the subject of speed cameras.
A much better alternative to all these schemes would be compulsory "further" driver training. Spend your extra pounds improving the one component in the car that fails more often than any other - the one component that causes more serious and fatal accidents when it does fail - the one component that can get more extra performance out of a car than any other optional extra or tuning component.
The nut behind the wheel.
I hope by writing these little essays, I can make at least a small contribution towards changing peoples attitudes towards advanced driving, and hopefully inspire one or two to seek out further training.
If one person just considers it after reading my ramblings, then it was worth it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm with you on the need for additional training for drivers.
Me, I'd have the car system more like the motorcycle one.
I'd restrict those who pass the current test to 75 BHP cars.
Then a test akin to IAM standard for any car.
With retests every 5 years.
Being buddhist (often a failing one) I always try to follow the example of Bodhisattva Never Disparaging when behind the wheel... Much the same as Reg's little Forgive Them etc...
Now I could write about driving and karma at length, but not at this time of night!
Now I could write about driving and karma at length, but not at this time of night!
Edited by scoobmeister on Monday 19th March 23:53
scoobmeister said:
Being buddhist (often a failing one) I always try to follow the example of Bodhisattva Never Disparaging when behind the wheel... Much the same as Reg's little Forgive Them etc...
Now I could write about driving and karma at length, but not at this time of night!
Now I could write about driving and karma at length, but not at this time of night!
How do your beliefs sit with all those dead bugs on the front of your car?
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