Shall I ditch the wife?
Discussion
As per usual for these threads I've registered under a name thats not my usual name - for reasons that will become clear.
I'm 27 and got married nearly 3 years ago to a girl I met at Uni. When she graduated (after me) we bought a house.
Factor 1:
All was well and good except she had a bad credit card habbit that got us in the poo. Luckily my Dad bailed us out of over £15k of debt and we're just paying back the interest on that to him now.
That problem stemmed from her not realising how things mount up and being generally useless with money.
We sold that house and bought another less than 12 months ago. I took the opportunity to get her in control of her spending and arranged the bills to come from one account and the surplus to go into another.
She destroyed her credit card.
This other account is the money we have for food etc.
She now realises that you cant buy one weeks food for £1 and that she cant spend on useless shit. However she has recently got another credit card but "thats OK because it only has a £750 limit"
Factor 2:
We argue a lot. We never used to but since the oringinal money problem when MY dad bailed her/us out we have agrued weekly about money. She thinks its unfair that we have to pay him 4.5% interest on his money - Personally I think thats a fair deal.
We also argue about silly things. She is incapable of having an adult discussion without it deteriorating into "you're a southern snob" (she is from north of Birmingham)
She blames Mrs Thatcher for her family being por when she was a kid - when in fact her lazy father just couldnt be bothered to get a job.
Factor 3:
Her mother is a bitch. She takes every opportunity to slag me off and tell her daughter to leave me. On our wedding day she told my wife-to-be that "he doesnt love you like I can"
Factor 4:
She is selfish and lazy. I work 45+ hours a week and she works part-time 4-7:30. Despite this I cook 5 nights a week, clean the bathroom etc. walk the dog at night and clean out the rabbit in the morning. She goes to bed at 1am and gets up at 10:30, walks the dog, watches Neighbours, sits on her arse then goes to work.
The positive side
She is widely regarded by myself and my mates as being bloody gorgeous.
When we're on holiday, away from her mother, and dont have to worry about bills we get on brilliantly.
The the benefit of the PH relationship experts
We have no children
She likes the occasional trip up the OXO tower and is a kinky bitch in bed.
I earn nearly 8 times what she does.
We have a house in joint names.
I have a loan for £9k in my name that I took out to bail her out of the shit - in addition the my Dad's money. There is about £6k outstanding.
I'm 27 and got married nearly 3 years ago to a girl I met at Uni. When she graduated (after me) we bought a house.
Factor 1:
All was well and good except she had a bad credit card habbit that got us in the poo. Luckily my Dad bailed us out of over £15k of debt and we're just paying back the interest on that to him now.
That problem stemmed from her not realising how things mount up and being generally useless with money.
We sold that house and bought another less than 12 months ago. I took the opportunity to get her in control of her spending and arranged the bills to come from one account and the surplus to go into another.
She destroyed her credit card.
This other account is the money we have for food etc.
She now realises that you cant buy one weeks food for £1 and that she cant spend on useless shit. However she has recently got another credit card but "thats OK because it only has a £750 limit"
Factor 2:
We argue a lot. We never used to but since the oringinal money problem when MY dad bailed her/us out we have agrued weekly about money. She thinks its unfair that we have to pay him 4.5% interest on his money - Personally I think thats a fair deal.
We also argue about silly things. She is incapable of having an adult discussion without it deteriorating into "you're a southern snob" (she is from north of Birmingham)
She blames Mrs Thatcher for her family being por when she was a kid - when in fact her lazy father just couldnt be bothered to get a job.
Factor 3:
Her mother is a bitch. She takes every opportunity to slag me off and tell her daughter to leave me. On our wedding day she told my wife-to-be that "he doesnt love you like I can"
Factor 4:
She is selfish and lazy. I work 45+ hours a week and she works part-time 4-7:30. Despite this I cook 5 nights a week, clean the bathroom etc. walk the dog at night and clean out the rabbit in the morning. She goes to bed at 1am and gets up at 10:30, walks the dog, watches Neighbours, sits on her arse then goes to work.
The positive side
She is widely regarded by myself and my mates as being bloody gorgeous.
When we're on holiday, away from her mother, and dont have to worry about bills we get on brilliantly.
The the benefit of the PH relationship experts
We have no children
She likes the occasional trip up the OXO tower and is a kinky bitch in bed.
I earn nearly 8 times what she does.
We have a house in joint names.
I have a loan for £9k in my name that I took out to bail her out of the shit - in addition the my Dad's money. There is about £6k outstanding.
1) You married too young. In my opinion.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
sheets tabuer said:
218bhp said:
She is widely regarded by myself and my mates as being bloody gorgeous.
She likes the occasional trip up the OXO tower and is a kinky bitch in bed.
She likes the occasional trip up the OXO tower and is a kinky bitch in bed.
Keep her
Sounds to me like she's been treated like a spoilt brat by her mother since she was born and hasn't grown up yet.
If you love her and want to be with her (sounds like the times when you're alone are good) then next time she runs up a small amount of debt make her pay it off herself, using her money and no one elses. She'll soon realise that life isn't a bunch of roses after that, certainly if she only works part time.
She needs to grow up and face reality.
If you love her and want to be with her (sounds like the times when you're alone are good) then next time she runs up a small amount of debt make her pay it off herself, using her money and no one elses. She'll soon realise that life isn't a bunch of roses after that, certainly if she only works part time.
She needs to grow up and face reality.
sheets tabuer said:
218bhp said:
She is widely regarded by myself and my mates as being bloody gorgeous.
She likes the occasional trip up the OXO tower and is a kinky bitch in bed.
She likes the occasional trip up the OXO tower and is a kinky bitch in bed.
Keep her
Worth a bit of hassle for that surely ..... Still get her to get off the sofa once in a while and get a proper job!
GregE240 said:
1) You married too young. In my opinion.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
Spot on analysis, I'd say.
From what you've written, you've just started to realise that sex and good looks might not be as important as how well you really get on.
A relaxing holiday away from stress is not a good indicator of your relationship, how you handle the shit that life throws at you is.
On the limited facts that you've put before us, I'd say you don't have a relationship...
A relaxing holiday away from stress is not a good indicator of your relationship, how you handle the shit that life throws at you is.
On the limited facts that you've put before us, I'd say you don't have a relationship...
900T-R said:
GregE240 said:
1) You married too young. In my opinion.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
Spot on analysis, I'd say.
Nowt like first hand experience. I married at 24, and 13 years later, bitterly wished I hadn't. Still, I wouldn't trade my situation now with anything.
Offering a slightly more mature arguement here - she sounds like an utter nightmare that is going to get worse over the years. Apart from the sack-action she doesn't seem to be offering the relationship much at all.
If she was a Uni (and even if she wasn't) what the hell is she doing working part-time? You don't mention kids so I can only assume she is lazy and workshy. She will be a financial drain forever that will only increase the pressure on your already fragile relationship.
The in-laws sound a nightmare - ignore them or tolerate them. The choice is yours.
she sounds an ungrateful cow - your Dad has seriously helped you both out as a reuslt of her shortcomings.
She might be "gorgeous" but she is clearly going to be a life-long PITA. Ditch her and find a proper companion on an equal basis.
If she was a Uni (and even if she wasn't) what the hell is she doing working part-time? You don't mention kids so I can only assume she is lazy and workshy. She will be a financial drain forever that will only increase the pressure on your already fragile relationship.
The in-laws sound a nightmare - ignore them or tolerate them. The choice is yours.
she sounds an ungrateful cow - your Dad has seriously helped you both out as a reuslt of her shortcomings.
She might be "gorgeous" but she is clearly going to be a life-long PITA. Ditch her and find a proper companion on an equal basis.
900T-R said:
GregE240 said:
1) You married too young. In my opinion.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
2) You married her for her looks, and seemingly nothing else?
3) Why the hell did you bail her out? Her problem, surely her problem to solve...
4) In laws you don't get on with are terrible - I have first hand experience of this - mine were dreadful, particularly the wife beating father in law.
5) I think you've already answered your own question, in all fairness, mate.
Spot on analysis, I'd say.
Before you kick her to the curb, get her credit record. I guarantee she's got debts you don't know about.
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