The AIRPORT thread
Discussion
Airports, best and worst:
BEST = Schipol
WORST = All others
SPECIAL PRIZE FOR BEING A SH1TH0LE = Dublin
Check in, me:
Approach desk
Hand over passport, place bag on scales
Receive boarding pass
Proceed to security
Time elapsed = 2 minutes
Check in, those in front of me:
Approach desk
Beckon to relative/friend who has wondered off but who has the vital documents
Place baggage on scales
Realise vital document is in baggage
Remove baggage from scale and repeat as necessary
Hand over a package of ancient parchments that the airline staff don't understand
Discuss special dietary requirements
Beckon to additional relatives and friends to join the discussion
Engage in convoluted discussions with check in staff about god only knows what
Negotiate over excess baggage
Re-distribute stuff into different bags
Eventually receive boarding pass and proceed to security
Come back to check in desk to ask some more questions
Finally disappear
Time elapsed = eternity
US Immigration, me:
Approach immigration person
Hand over passport and fully completed I94(W) and customs card
Answer routine questions
Get fingerprinted and photo'd
Get passport stamped
Move on
Time taken = 1 minute
US Immigration, those in front of me:
Approach immigration person
Beckon to family members who have wondered off with the vital documents
Hand over package of ancient parchments that the immigration guy has never seen before
Engage in lengthy discussion
Hand over partially completed immigration and customs forms
Get fingerprinted and photo'd
Get the partially completed forms back with a pen
Complete the forms
Hand the forms back
Engage in more lengthy discussion
Have a superviser called over
More discussion
Have documents stamped and move on
Time taken = eternity
Whatsthatallaboutthen?
BEST = Schipol
WORST = All others
SPECIAL PRIZE FOR BEING A SH1TH0LE = Dublin
Check in, me:
Approach desk
Hand over passport, place bag on scales
Receive boarding pass
Proceed to security
Time elapsed = 2 minutes
Check in, those in front of me:
Approach desk
Beckon to relative/friend who has wondered off but who has the vital documents
Place baggage on scales
Realise vital document is in baggage
Remove baggage from scale and repeat as necessary
Hand over a package of ancient parchments that the airline staff don't understand
Discuss special dietary requirements
Beckon to additional relatives and friends to join the discussion
Engage in convoluted discussions with check in staff about god only knows what
Negotiate over excess baggage
Re-distribute stuff into different bags
Eventually receive boarding pass and proceed to security
Come back to check in desk to ask some more questions
Finally disappear
Time elapsed = eternity
US Immigration, me:
Approach immigration person
Hand over passport and fully completed I94(W) and customs card
Answer routine questions
Get fingerprinted and photo'd
Get passport stamped
Move on
Time taken = 1 minute
US Immigration, those in front of me:
Approach immigration person
Beckon to family members who have wondered off with the vital documents
Hand over package of ancient parchments that the immigration guy has never seen before
Engage in lengthy discussion
Hand over partially completed immigration and customs forms
Get fingerprinted and photo'd
Get the partially completed forms back with a pen
Complete the forms
Hand the forms back
Engage in more lengthy discussion
Have a superviser called over
More discussion
Have documents stamped and move on
Time taken = eternity
Whatsthatallaboutthen?
Best: Schipol again. Esepcially since they have loads of trains connecting you Amsterdam and various other places.
Worst: Treviso, one of the airports for Venice. It's tiny, it's cramped, it's crap, and Ryanair staff leave at 10pm so when your plane gets cancelled at midnight you're left with two scared Italian staff members who don't know what's going on and are faced with a large number of pissed off English tourists.
The floor at Marco Polo is too cold, and the benches are crap as they are divided by arm rests so you can't sleep on those so the floor is the only option. Verona airport has benches that you can sleep on, but the air conditioning squeaks.
Worst: Treviso, one of the airports for Venice. It's tiny, it's cramped, it's crap, and Ryanair staff leave at 10pm so when your plane gets cancelled at midnight you're left with two scared Italian staff members who don't know what's going on and are faced with a large number of pissed off English tourists.
The floor at Marco Polo is too cold, and the benches are crap as they are divided by arm rests so you can't sleep on those so the floor is the only option. Verona airport has benches that you can sleep on, but the air conditioning squeaks.
Miami airport has to be the arsehole of the airport world. Completely clueless staff, absolutely heaving everytime I've been there. Last time I was there - 1 hour queue just to check in. Thought we could drop the bags like every other airport in the civilised world..oh no, have to join another queue for 1 hour to get them "screened". The screening process was actually giving the bag to a bloke who chucked them on top of the growing pile of people's bags...Absolute twunts the lot of them.
MentalSarcasm said:
Best: Schipol again. Esepcially since they have loads of trains connecting you Amsterdam and various other places.
Worst: Treviso, one of the airports for Venice. It's tiny, it's cramped, it's crap, and Ryanair staff leave at 10pm so when your plane gets cancelled at midnight you're left with two scared Italian staff members who don't know what's going on and are faced with a large number of pissed off English tourists.
The floor at Marco Polo is too cold, and the benches are crap as they are divided by arm rests so you can't sleep on those so the floor is the only option. Verona airport has benches that you can sleep on, but the air conditioning squeaks.
Treviso: So they still haven't done anything to improve it. Sounds like it was 3 years ago.Worst: Treviso, one of the airports for Venice. It's tiny, it's cramped, it's crap, and Ryanair staff leave at 10pm so when your plane gets cancelled at midnight you're left with two scared Italian staff members who don't know what's going on and are faced with a large number of pissed off English tourists.
The floor at Marco Polo is too cold, and the benches are crap as they are divided by arm rests so you can't sleep on those so the floor is the only option. Verona airport has benches that you can sleep on, but the air conditioning squeaks.
Marco Polo and Verona: 2 words- Priority Pass.
Atlanta is pretty awful. Ridiculous baggage reclaim system involving trains. Rome is also pretty awful in terms of time elapsed between landing and collecting baggage. Turin is ok so is Heathrow. The Marco Polo in Venice was ok except that for 9 years when I flew there 5 or 6 times a year I was usually diverted to Trieste or Treviso or somewhere else. My favourite is the John Wayne Airport in Orange County, Ca. Clean and modern with a huge bronze statue of the Duke outside.
Least favourite of all is Heathrow, seems cramped and not much to do.
Worst experience - Cincinatti - where they had the entire contents of my suitcase and laptop bag out on a table after I'd spent a whole morning trying to pack and get the case closed. Then the guy put his hand, ungloved, in a bag of my dirty knickers and socks which even I thought was a bit gross...
Dislike Chicago O'Hare for sheer boredom ness.
Oh and Tokyo was crap for finding food or anything to do.
Dalaman was nice but incredibly expensive.
Singapore had an unusual rooftop Cactus garden smoking area.
Worst experience - Cincinatti - where they had the entire contents of my suitcase and laptop bag out on a table after I'd spent a whole morning trying to pack and get the case closed. Then the guy put his hand, ungloved, in a bag of my dirty knickers and socks which even I thought was a bit gross...
Dislike Chicago O'Hare for sheer boredom ness.
Oh and Tokyo was crap for finding food or anything to do.
Dalaman was nice but incredibly expensive.
Singapore had an unusual rooftop Cactus garden smoking area.
Worst I can think of is terminal 2 at Charles De Gaulle, I've been delayed more times than I can remember and there is nothing at all to do once you've been through passport control, there aren't even any seats until you go through to the gate where there isn't even a toilet. Shocking horrible place.
The rest all seem pretty similar, I guess shipol was nicer than most as was Dubai and what I think is terminal 3 at CDG.
The rest all seem pretty similar, I guess shipol was nicer than most as was Dubai and what I think is terminal 3 at CDG.
Mahatma Bag said:
US Immigration, those in front of me:
Approach immigration person
Beckon to family members who have wondered off with the vital documents
Hand over package of ancient parchments that the immigration guy has never seen before
Engage in lengthy discussion
Hand over partially completed immigration and customs forms
Get fingerprinted and photo'd
Get the partially completed forms back with a pen
Complete the forms
Hand the forms back
Engage in more lengthy discussion
Have a superviser called over
More discussion
Have documents stamped and move on
Time taken = eternity
Whatsthatallaboutthen?
This is not my experience with US immigration. If your documents ar'nt 100% first time, they just send you to the back of the que/line. They just won't put up with any shit. Never happened to us, but I've seen it with other people, many times.Approach immigration person
Beckon to family members who have wondered off with the vital documents
Hand over package of ancient parchments that the immigration guy has never seen before
Engage in lengthy discussion
Hand over partially completed immigration and customs forms
Get fingerprinted and photo'd
Get the partially completed forms back with a pen
Complete the forms
Hand the forms back
Engage in more lengthy discussion
Have a superviser called over
More discussion
Have documents stamped and move on
Time taken = eternity
Whatsthatallaboutthen?
Malaga, the seemingly 5 hour walk to the terminal gate when your half asleep feels like an eternity.
Gove, Nhulunbuy, Northern Territory, basically a shed from Wickes and disgruntled aborigines shouting at you through the chainlink fence whilst you wait for your rickety old cessna to stop leaking enough to be determined airworthy.
Reus, Northern Spain, packed with sweaty package deal oiks who have the temerity to demand first class service from their 29 quid plane ticket!
I hate air travel, i hate the inconvenience, the people, the wasted time. I wish we all traveled in tubes like on Futurama!
Gove, Nhulunbuy, Northern Territory, basically a shed from Wickes and disgruntled aborigines shouting at you through the chainlink fence whilst you wait for your rickety old cessna to stop leaking enough to be determined airworthy.
Reus, Northern Spain, packed with sweaty package deal oiks who have the temerity to demand first class service from their 29 quid plane ticket!
I hate air travel, i hate the inconvenience, the people, the wasted time. I wish we all traveled in tubes like on Futurama!
Best- Dubai International.
Absolutely gorgeous building, met by pre-arranged drivers around 10mins after landing and fast tracked though the airport. No queues and out into some nice cars, again no congestion and hastle and we're off. Must have taken less then 20 minutes to go from plane to car.
Also had a stop over in the airport coming from Kenya to the UK and they had a brilliant arab themed lounge for around £10 a head. They had food, alcohol etc all included and the staff were brilliant and everything was cleaned constantly.
Worst- Jamnagar Airport. (Regional Airport in Gujarat, India.)
The airport is owned by the military but deals with civilian flight. However this means that they decide if the airport can operate etc, when renovations are done to terminal or runway etc. These decisions don't seem governed by any sort of logic. It's really bad when you consider there is only one runway and the nearest airport to this one is around a 4-5 hour drive away.
On top of this the staff are totally clueless and often give out the wrong information. Hence on occaison we've had to wait for an hour for relatives to come and get us, because they'd been told that the flight was late. Another time the flight was late but they were told it was ok and so waited for around 2 hours for us. Infact turns out when they got their the flight had only just taken off from it's source!
Absolutely gorgeous building, met by pre-arranged drivers around 10mins after landing and fast tracked though the airport. No queues and out into some nice cars, again no congestion and hastle and we're off. Must have taken less then 20 minutes to go from plane to car.
Also had a stop over in the airport coming from Kenya to the UK and they had a brilliant arab themed lounge for around £10 a head. They had food, alcohol etc all included and the staff were brilliant and everything was cleaned constantly.
Worst- Jamnagar Airport. (Regional Airport in Gujarat, India.)
The airport is owned by the military but deals with civilian flight. However this means that they decide if the airport can operate etc, when renovations are done to terminal or runway etc. These decisions don't seem governed by any sort of logic. It's really bad when you consider there is only one runway and the nearest airport to this one is around a 4-5 hour drive away.
On top of this the staff are totally clueless and often give out the wrong information. Hence on occaison we've had to wait for an hour for relatives to come and get us, because they'd been told that the flight was late. Another time the flight was late but they were told it was ok and so waited for around 2 hours for us. Infact turns out when they got their the flight had only just taken off from it's source!
Most boring has to be the terminal Virgin use at Boston - the duty free is the size of a toilet cubicle.
Visited Joburg 2 weeks ago - new international terminal is nice, but still utterly chaotic. And checkin, baggage, passports are still using the old part
Agree on comments about CDG - get the wrong terminal (or wrong part of T2) and you've got a long journey to get anywhere!
I like Glasgow - very easy to use and the BMI Diamond Club lounge leads straight to the gate. Shame you can't drive up to the terminal anymore
Visited Joburg 2 weeks ago - new international terminal is nice, but still utterly chaotic. And checkin, baggage, passports are still using the old part
Agree on comments about CDG - get the wrong terminal (or wrong part of T2) and you've got a long journey to get anywhere!
I like Glasgow - very easy to use and the BMI Diamond Club lounge leads straight to the gate. Shame you can't drive up to the terminal anymore
I was in Barcelona's second airport (can't remember the name, the cheap one Ryanair fly's to) and it was amazing. Walked off the plane, two customs officials in a box at the gate (no queue) and bags were ready right away. 15 mins after landing I was on my way.
Of course it then took over an hour to get to Barcelona itself
Of course it then took over an hour to get to Barcelona itself
Edited by rpguk on Saturday 3rd November 14:34
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