Alternative briefing for Bedford 12th Jan 2008
Discussion
Good morning and welcome to Bedford - hands up who has never been here before. Half of you. Okay, keep your hand up if this is your first track day. The same. Right then, recovery should be busy then. Experienced drivers, don't worry, we do live recovery (if no one dies) so you will not miss any track time. Bedford is the safest track in the UK and that's a fact. There's miles of run off everywhere so you cannot get hurt or smash your car up. There's nothing to hit - apart from the other ninety nine other cars and a bit of furniture around the track if point your wheels at it - but you all know what you're doing so you won't get into a flap and saw at the wheel with your foot buried in the carpet yelling "Tokyo drift!!", will you? No, course not - great. Go nuts then, nothing bad can happen to you here. You have to wear your seat belts, and a crash helmet but that's about the extent of the preparation for you and your car we need to mention to keep our insurance company happy. Okay, the rules. Sorry if we're boring you - if you've heard it all before then just stand at the back - chat on your your phone, eat your butty and this boring stuff will be over soon. More insurance stuff I am afraid. Okay, flags. We have red, yellow, blue, black and checkered. That's loads innit? Try and pay attention.
Blue - we will wave this at you if you have a slower car then the one behind you. Our marshalls all read Evo and can tell the difference between a Porsche from a Peugeot. It means "get out the f**king way you loser!" and it's a passport to the c**t behind you to get around your mobile chicane any way he can.
Yellow - this one is kind of optional. If you see it, it means that you need to slow down and have a look around because some one has done something stupid and you might collect them, the wreckage, or the recovery crew. Okay, we know it's tough to see a man standing by a corner waving a big yellow flag at you frantically, so we have big yellow lights we turn on near the killjoy with the yellow flag as well. Like I said, kind of optional, so let's move on.
Red -Bedford is the safest track in the UK so we don't use it much - let's move on.
Black - we call this the 'Noise Flag' and believe me, we will wave this at you if you trip the noise meter! It's a purely commercial issue. We will not wave it at anyone who overtakes on the wrong side or in corners, drives like a f**king suicide case, spins three times every time they go out, or is obviously racing. By the way, racing is fine; it's a race track innit? If you see the same car as yours and you can't keep up then you're a pussy! People can be really funny about the black flag so we try not to use too much.
Checkered doesn't mean you have won! (Laughter board up) ... I know every track day manager uses it but the old ones are always the best.
A couple of other things and then you can all barge through the door like a shower of selfish 'me-first' t**s -
If someone is really being a pain in the a**e or a total f**king liability, then the best thing to do is to look out for the tiny little yellow number in an unspecified place, on one side of their vehicle as they run you off the track. If you don't get their number, then there's nothing we can do so then it's up to you to go and sort them out yourself. Garages are great places to have a fight - there's sharp and blunt tools galore, not unlike the race track now I mention it.
Finally, even though we have to pay our staff to be here all day we, the management, think that it is much better that they sit in the warm drinking tea, rather than driving round the track keeping an eye on your lot. Why - this is Bedford okay? Safest track in the UK so go out there and have a f**king tear-up!!!
Blue - we will wave this at you if you have a slower car then the one behind you. Our marshalls all read Evo and can tell the difference between a Porsche from a Peugeot. It means "get out the f**king way you loser!" and it's a passport to the c**t behind you to get around your mobile chicane any way he can.
Yellow - this one is kind of optional. If you see it, it means that you need to slow down and have a look around because some one has done something stupid and you might collect them, the wreckage, or the recovery crew. Okay, we know it's tough to see a man standing by a corner waving a big yellow flag at you frantically, so we have big yellow lights we turn on near the killjoy with the yellow flag as well. Like I said, kind of optional, so let's move on.
Red -Bedford is the safest track in the UK so we don't use it much - let's move on.
Black - we call this the 'Noise Flag' and believe me, we will wave this at you if you trip the noise meter! It's a purely commercial issue. We will not wave it at anyone who overtakes on the wrong side or in corners, drives like a f**king suicide case, spins three times every time they go out, or is obviously racing. By the way, racing is fine; it's a race track innit? If you see the same car as yours and you can't keep up then you're a pussy! People can be really funny about the black flag so we try not to use too much.
Checkered doesn't mean you have won! (Laughter board up) ... I know every track day manager uses it but the old ones are always the best.
A couple of other things and then you can all barge through the door like a shower of selfish 'me-first' t**s -
If someone is really being a pain in the a**e or a total f**king liability, then the best thing to do is to look out for the tiny little yellow number in an unspecified place, on one side of their vehicle as they run you off the track. If you don't get their number, then there's nothing we can do so then it's up to you to go and sort them out yourself. Garages are great places to have a fight - there's sharp and blunt tools galore, not unlike the race track now I mention it.
Finally, even though we have to pay our staff to be here all day we, the management, think that it is much better that they sit in the warm drinking tea, rather than driving round the track keeping an eye on your lot. Why - this is Bedford okay? Safest track in the UK so go out there and have a f**king tear-up!!!
LuckyP said:
LMFAO!!! Ha-ha!! 
Can you do a note on a typical lap now, pwweeezzzee!!!
I bet one of those 'goin' up the inside' was Mr Edwards
Get back in you're bloody box P! Now P*ss off back to the Ultima forum Can you do a note on a typical lap now, pwweeezzzee!!!
I bet one of those 'goin' up the inside' was Mr Edwards
Probably was, I was in a black F430 F1
Although, we had to be in 6th gear for 3/4 of the lap and on 10% throttle, due to noise violations 
Edited by Sean Edwards on Saturday 12th January 20:44
It does seem as if the Marshall at the end of the long straight was told in his training "Stand here and if you see more than one car coming towards you wave the blue flag".
With regards to overtaking on the straights only, there is enough room to safely get past on some of the long, fast corners if safe to do so...
With regards to overtaking on the straights only, there is enough room to safely get past on some of the long, fast corners if safe to do so...
MadandDangerous....one of the funniest (and sadly truest) posts i have read in ages - was laughing out loud by the time i got to the end.....
Whynot said:
It does seem as if the Marshall at the end of the long straight was told in his training "Stand here and if you see more than one car coming towards you wave the blue flag"....
hee hee, yes he was a bit "keen"....everytime we came down the straight me and my friend would try and guess which of his many coloured flags he would be waving each time.Whynot said:
With regards to overtaking on the straights only, there is enough room to safely get past on some of the long, fast corners if safe to do so...
....agree, but there was a bit of "diving in" on some corners - but as said - no worst than most daysEdited by poshgit on Sunday 13th January 12:12
Amusing stuff guys and I agree, Bedford is getting a bit of a reputation for lairiness. Not that I'm completely innocent in all this but I did wonder whether open pitlane really is the best way to go when you've got such a range of abilities out there. Fortunately there weren't any atoms around being driven at a snails pace through the corners then blitzing the straights - but I'm sure they'll be back in the summer!
poshgit said:
....agree, but there was a bit of "diving in" on some corners - but as said - no worst than most days
i know this doesn't apply to you (and i do mean that even though it may sound sarcastic), but i think lots of the last minute diving in could be avoided by the people being overtaken showing a bit more consideration and backing off a little on the straights. i got stuck behind a couple of people in particular for laps at a time who tiptoed round the corners (which is fine) but then gave their big engines the full beans as soon as they hit the straight. if the person following has a better handling car but less straight line poke then unless the guy in front yields a little then there's no way past. so i wonder whether some of this late braking thing is borne out of frustration for that.Edited by TheMonster on Sunday 13th January 14:08
TheMonster said:
poshgit said:
....agree, but there was a bit of "diving in" on some corners - but as said - no worst than most days
i know this doesn't apply to you (and i do mean that even though it may sound sarcastic), but i think lots of the last minute diving in could be avoided by the people being overtaken showing a bit more consideration and backing off a little on the straights. i got stuck behind a couple of people in particular for laps at a time who tiptoed round the corners (which is fine) but then gave their big engines the full beans as soon as they hit the straight. if the person following has a better handling car but less straight line poke then unless the guy in front yields a little then there's no way past. so i wonder whether some of this late braking thing is borne out of frustration for that.Edited by TheMonster on Sunday 13th January 14:08
MadAndDangerous said:
Some amusing stuff...
Thanks, enjoyed that 
Are you a disgruntled employee? 
Whilst I saw elements of everything you mention, its nothing like as bad as the post implies.
I do wish people would back off on the straights when blue flagged though - I've only got 260bhp in 1500kg's so I'm not passing your Chimaera/M Coupe/Bike engined lightweight/etc etc any time soon without a little help!!!
As my first experrience I have nouthing to compare it to, but I dont think it was any worse than any bike day I have done, except certain things were not black flagged, and a few aggressive moves made , however, not on me as i was letting everyone go past, I cannot afford to have the car binned, so the fast lot can rock on round.
I thought to be honest it was better from most drivers that a bike day.
But experience will tell.
Would I normally have been spoken to about spinning off a lot??
I think the track drivers could have sold there services much better though.
I thought to be honest it was better from most drivers that a bike day.
But experience will tell.
Would I normally have been spoken to about spinning off a lot??
I think the track drivers could have sold there services much better though.
From the video posted on another thread (the BMW driver with the twitchy hands) the driving standards looked 
ing awful to me. Was there *any* mention of when and how to overtake in the briefing?
Define spinning a lot? If it was clear that you were not learning from your mistakes, then yes, you should have been spoken to imho. That said, a lot of people seem to go to Bedford just so they can drive like a tt and get away with it, so your spins would probably have been small beer.
ing awful to me. Was there *any* mention of when and how to overtake in the briefing?Define spinning a lot? If it was clear that you were not learning from your mistakes, then yes, you should have been spoken to imho. That said, a lot of people seem to go to Bedford just so they can drive like a t
t and get away with it, so your spins would probably have been small beer.Re: blue flags
I think if there could be one thing I'd improve on the day this would be it. I was following a car (can't remember what it was now) for a couple of laps being frustrated by them; they were quite a bit slower than I wanted to go, but I wasn't quick enough to get past on the straights without them giving me a helping hand. Didn't stop me enjoying the day though.
I tried to let people through when appropriate. Another point in the day I was being followed by a CSL and couldn't pull away from him, so I let him past. I then followed him and found it easy to keep in touch with him; I think we both had following-car-syndrome, where you go a bit faster when following someone.
I think if there could be one thing I'd improve on the day this would be it. I was following a car (can't remember what it was now) for a couple of laps being frustrated by them; they were quite a bit slower than I wanted to go, but I wasn't quick enough to get past on the straights without them giving me a helping hand. Didn't stop me enjoying the day though.
I tried to let people through when appropriate. Another point in the day I was being followed by a CSL and couldn't pull away from him, so I let him past. I then followed him and found it easy to keep in touch with him; I think we both had following-car-syndrome, where you go a bit faster when following someone.
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