Klingon Programmers

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simpo two

Original Poster:

85,833 posts

267 months

Thursday 28th August 2003
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Just to lighten up the forum (and apologies if you know it): the top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need quad Alpha processors if I am to do battle with this code!"

10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've heard it read it in the original Klingon."

9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"

8) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."

7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."

5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."

4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"

3) "By filing this defect you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!"

2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!"

1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"

^slider^

2,874 posts

251 months

Thursday 28th August 2003
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plotloss

67,280 posts

272 months

Thursday 28th August 2003
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Right that lot is being embedded in something tommorow...



I'll give them error messages...

malman

2,258 posts

261 months

Friday 29th August 2003
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I always wondered why our programmers looked a bit dodgy - I always thought it was just morning hair

Nacnud

2,190 posts

271 months

Friday 29th August 2003
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simpo two said:
1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"