RE: Limerick Competition

[stig]

There once was a truck from Dundee,
That drove straight into a tree,
The result was much shorter,
So Porsche went and bought 'er,
And they now call it an SUV.

[stig]

There was a young chap from Andover,
Who was proud of his Max Powered Nova,
No good to race,
But wikkid drum and bass,
(Best pushed over white cliffs at Dover).

[JSG]

There was a young chap called Trevor,
Who thought "to build a car would be clever",
"If I use a V8,
that'd be great,
and people will buy 'em for ever"

>> Edited by JSG (moderator) on Friday 22 February 12:39

[Horse]

A handsome young fellow called Ted
Found it hard to get out of bed
So he packed in his job
Even though short a few bob
And catered for all Pistonhead(s)

Sorry.

[CarZee]

There once was a fat bloke called Meacher
Who fancied himself as a preacher
He tried to ban bikes
And all he dislikes
Cos he used to get bummed by his teacher

[JMGS4]

There once was a fathead called Byers
who always got crossed his wires,
talked about trains,
but used only planes,
thats why he's called Byers the liar

[stig]

John Prescott, the 20 stone schmuck,
Caused chaos for car bike and truck,
Used his 'private' bus lane,
'Cos he won't use the train,
And has 2 Jags, the dozy fat..... err.. man.

[JMGS4]

There once was a pratt called Blair,
who due to policy coloured his hair
it's no wonder the public
gets awfully frantic
when confronted with such a night-mare

[olly2000]

Ok, I made three up whilst bored...

There once was a man called Chris Bangle
Who drew all his cars at an angle
He messed up the Seven
(He'll never get to heaven)
His bollocks must go through a mangle !

There once were some guys from hethel
Whose chassis' were all very special
They got sold to gm
And then thrice again
Lets hope their next car's not called Ethel

There was a young conman named John
Whose new gullwing design was a lemon
He called in for chapman
He should have tried batman
Because now he's a convicted felon

[stig]

Maurice Gatsonides' name,
Should only be uttered in shame,
He invented the Gasto,
To make us all go slow,
So now you all know who's to blame.

[Neil Menzies]

There once was a man called Wheeler,
A one-time used motor dealer,
To race his own car,
He acquired TVR,
But he slides the back end like a squealer.

[stig]

Now don't you forget 'Speed Kills'
Whilst the gatsos keep issuing bills,
Read the stats - it's a fact,
Says Tone Blair (he's a prat),
Yeah right, keep taking the pills.

[stig]

Ted - do you want to pay me to do this regularly

[JSG]

Carl Hertsbiker's no shark,
but he said "stuff this for a lark,
Its so bl**dy unfair,
Thanks to Meacher and Blair,
I can't thrash me bike in the park".

[CarZee]

A bloke known as President Blair
Told us all we can work anywhere
But you can't get a train
Or a bus or a plane
And he won't let you drive your car there

[Neil Menzies]

The Ferrari, a marque of some note,
On which owners invariably dote,
Are called by some honkeys
mere Dancing Donkeys
But not by me - I'll get me coat.

[JSG]

Ted, a journo with keen eye,
said whilst twiddling his tie
"These concepts are sad,
that Capri one's so bad,
its putting me off me pie".



>> Edited by JSG (moderator) on Friday 22 February 13:09

>> Edited by JSG (moderator) on Friday 22 February 13:10

[Neil Menzies]

"That Guinness went down rather well",
Said Ted, in the local hotel,
"As its spiritual brother,
I won't have another",
Yeah, right, and Cambelt can spell...

[Neil Menzies]

Our President sounds so sincere,
when he says, "Its just as you fear,
Speed Kills! We must stop it!
With cash from your pocket!"
Tony Blair talking out of his rear.

[IPAddis]

There was a young man called Ben Dover
who was pushing his Max Power Nova
when asked what was wrong
he said with a song
I've caned the cr*p out the motor.