Gender Dysphoria
Discussion
Not sure where to start really but a bit of interest in my past has been generated off the back of some of my posts on the Manly scars and wounds thread.
As some of you will already know I was born male and only "became" Vicky in 2005/6.
There will be plenty of people that didn't know and probably even more that don't care but I thought I'd start this thread (after Oobster said it was a good idea
) to see what debate came of it.
It's a bit of an unusual topic for a car forum with lots of guys on but there might be someone else who reads this that's in the same position as I was a few years ago.
If anyone is interested in any aspect of my transformation/transition either medically, surgically, physically, emotionally or logistically I'm more than happy to answer any questions openly and honestly.
But please only serious questions. I've heard all the daft stuff before.
Over to you really (if anyone's still reading).
As some of you will already know I was born male and only "became" Vicky in 2005/6.
There will be plenty of people that didn't know and probably even more that don't care but I thought I'd start this thread (after Oobster said it was a good idea
) to see what debate came of it.It's a bit of an unusual topic for a car forum with lots of guys on but there might be someone else who reads this that's in the same position as I was a few years ago.
If anyone is interested in any aspect of my transformation/transition either medically, surgically, physically, emotionally or logistically I'm more than happy to answer any questions openly and honestly.
But please only serious questions. I've heard all the daft stuff before.
Over to you really (if anyone's still reading).
missdiane said:
I have some queries.
When did you 'know'?
What age did you decide this was the right thing to do?
I'm saving myself a bit of typing here by quoting how I answered that on the other thread yesterday.When did you 'know'?
What age did you decide this was the right thing to do?
I said:
Age? I was 9 when I first realised something was "wrong" and 12 when I realised exactly what it was and that something could be done about it.
That was in 1983/4 when Keith Hull/Stephanie Anne Lloyd was "outed" by The Daily Mirror after her surgery.
She had just returned to work as a MD of a factory just up the road (coincidentally) from where I lived as a child.
When I read her story I knew I was not alone and I had an "option" if that makes sense?
I didn't do anything about it until the bell finally went off in my head and told me enough was enough. That was in mid-2005 at just turned age 33.
I told my immediate family and some close friends just before christmas 2005 and transitioned on Christmas Day of that year.
I started hormones in Feb 2006, got a referral for SRS in March 2006 by which time I'd already booked and paid for it (so it's a good job the specialists believed me!) and had surgery in October 2006, still aged 33.
That was in 1983/4 when Keith Hull/Stephanie Anne Lloyd was "outed" by The Daily Mirror after her surgery.
She had just returned to work as a MD of a factory just up the road (coincidentally) from where I lived as a child.
When I read her story I knew I was not alone and I had an "option" if that makes sense?
I didn't do anything about it until the bell finally went off in my head and told me enough was enough. That was in mid-2005 at just turned age 33.
I told my immediate family and some close friends just before christmas 2005 and transitioned on Christmas Day of that year.
I started hormones in Feb 2006, got a referral for SRS in March 2006 by which time I'd already booked and paid for it (so it's a good job the specialists believed me!) and had surgery in October 2006, still aged 33.
missdiane said:
How has society (away from net) accepted you?
It differs really, day by day, place by place. A lot of the time I can go anywhere and do anything and no-one bats an eyelid. Then other times it seems everyone is staring at me.I'm about 6' tall so I'm never going to blend in to the crowd so I understand people will stare sometimes. Some people laugh and call me a tranny, others just get on with their business.
Professionally all my clients are great, in so much that no-one ever mentions anything to me. I assume they just take me as Vicky as they didn't know me before but I'm under no illusion that some could be thinking "Is she, isn't she?" to themselves.
Family and friends have been wonderful with the exception of my eldest sister who's reaction was:
"How am I meant to tell my friends that my brother is going to be my sister now?"
I never did really get on with her anyway and IMO that says more about her than it does me.
missdiane said:
And in as polite way possible, do you have any pictures? you can say no if you like 
I destroyed all pictures of me as "a lad" growing up and as a young man.I may have some somewhere of the early stages of my transition where I was a bit "inbetween" but I'd rather not post those.
I have a few of me now but they are all professional shots from when I did a bit of modelling.
Most of them are either not suitable to show publicly or are Photoshopped but you can still see the "real me" under the airbrushing.
I'll have a look in Photobucket and see what there is...
Edited by Nolar Dog on Monday 11th May 22:17
Fair play to you for being so open about this subject, I suppose if its something you felt you needed to do and your happy with the way you are why would it be hard to talk about.
I have seen my next door neighbour go through what you have (Also in Tailand) And in all honesty at first it was kind of strange but now its as though nothing has changed and she was always a she.
She says that she misses being able to go for a piss standing up but doesnt miss the gents loo's.
ETA ; By the way that is a top collection of cars you have there
I have seen my next door neighbour go through what you have (Also in Tailand) And in all honesty at first it was kind of strange but now its as though nothing has changed and she was always a she.
She says that she misses being able to go for a piss standing up but doesnt miss the gents loo's.
ETA ; By the way that is a top collection of cars you have there
Edited by Groober on Monday 11th May 22:19
Groober said:
Fair play to you for being so open about this subject, I suppose if its something you felt you needed to do and your happy with the way you are why would it be hard to talk about.
I have seen my next door neighbour go through what you have (Also in Tailand) And in all honesty at first it was kind of strange but now its as though nothing has changed and she was always a she.
She says that she misses being able to go for a piss standing up but doesnt miss the gents loo's.
Can I ask... were you close (friendship, not distance before anyone starts I have seen my next door neighbour go through what you have (Also in Tailand) And in all honesty at first it was kind of strange but now its as though nothing has changed and she was always a she.
She says that she misses being able to go for a piss standing up but doesnt miss the gents loo's.
) to the neighbour before she transitioned? If so, did "he" becoming "she" affect your friendship/relationship at all?I'm interested how it must be for someone on the other side of the "change".
I can listen to how my family and friends felt/feel but I have no actual idea just what it must be like to see someone become someone else.
I have to say I don't miss the toilet side of things, although granted guys do get it easy in so much as they can more or less go where/when they want.
Edit: Spelling error
Edited by Nolar Dog on Monday 11th May 22:23
How did you "know"?
What made you decide to a) dress as a woman and b) become a woman, because they are both very different things. What makes you think you are a woman? (that sounds accusatory, but that's not how it's meant). For example, I'm often told I'm like a gay man in a womans body, but I don't want to become a man. I like being a woman, I am a woman.
Does that make any sense at all?
And, if it's not too personal, do you find men/women/both sexually attractive?
What made you decide to a) dress as a woman and b) become a woman, because they are both very different things. What makes you think you are a woman? (that sounds accusatory, but that's not how it's meant). For example, I'm often told I'm like a gay man in a womans body, but I don't want to become a man. I like being a woman, I am a woman.
Does that make any sense at all?
And, if it's not too personal, do you find men/women/both sexually attractive?
Seeing as you are opening up for question time I'm going to proper nosey git and ask something pretty much unrelated, what is it you do for a living Vicky? I've always known youve had a enviable garage collection that must take a bit of funding. I'm guessing its a safe bet your not a spanner monkey down the garage anymore 
Have you hung up the tools for good (no pun intended)?
Is it an easier living as a chick or dude?
Have you hung up the tools for good (no pun intended)? Is it an easier living as a chick or dude?
Nolar Dog said:
Groober said:
Fair play to you for being so open about this subject, I suppose if its something you felt you needed to do and your happy with the way you are why would it be hard to talk about.
I have seen my next door neighbour go through what you have (Also in Tailand) And in all honesty at first it was kind of strange but now its as though nothing has changed and she was always a she.
She says that she misses being able to go for a piss standing up but doesnt miss the gents loo's.
Can I ask... were you close (friendship, not distance before anyone starts I have seen my next door neighbour go through what you have (Also in Tailand) And in all honesty at first it was kind of strange but now its as though nothing has changed and she was always a she.
She says that she misses being able to go for a piss standing up but doesnt miss the gents loo's.
) to the neighbour before she transitioned? If so, did "he" becoming "she" affect your friendship/relationship at all?I'm interested how it must be for someone on the other side of the "change".
I can listen to how my family and friends felt/feel but I have no actual idea just what it must be like to see someone become someone else.
I have to say I don't miss the toilet side of things, although granted guys do get it easy in so much as they can more or less go where/when they want.
Edit: Spelling error
Edited by Nolar Dog on Monday 11th May 22:23
I still live next door and nothing has changed, we still call her round for bbq's in the summer as we always have done and do all the same things we did before, all normal.
I haven't read the 'manly scars' thread, partly cos i don't have any...
And someone else has asked the main question I would have.
Once you're on the hormone therapy, are there any changes that simply aren't expected, that aren't simply a direct result of the drugs, or known side -effect?
Slightly more daft, does the hormone therapy change the way you think about certain things? or feel about them?
i.e. more like a woman, separately from the physical changes?
And someone else has asked the main question I would have.
Once you're on the hormone therapy, are there any changes that simply aren't expected, that aren't simply a direct result of the drugs, or known side -effect?
Slightly more daft, does the hormone therapy change the way you think about certain things? or feel about them?
i.e. more like a woman, separately from the physical changes?
Mrs Trackside said:
How did you "know"?
What made you decide to a) dress as a woman and b) become a woman, because they are both very different things. What makes you think you are a woman? (that sounds accusatory, but that's not how it's meant).
Not sure how I originally "knew" something was wrong but as I posted above I started to feel "different" at about aged 9. Typical tale which I'm sure some people will have read about that I felt different from other lads my age and it was very difficult to try to be like them.What made you decide to a) dress as a woman and b) become a woman, because they are both very different things. What makes you think you are a woman? (that sounds accusatory, but that's not how it's meant).
At 13/14 when the Keith Hull/Stephanie Anne Lloyd story "broke" in the media I sat in my bedroom at home one Sunday afternoon and read, re-read and re-read again the story.
Everything I had felt was written right there in front of me and I knew what was "wrong" and more importantly that one day I would be able to do something about it.
It's very hard to explain/justify/qualify why I think I'm a woman to someone who hasn't been in a similar position. But knowing that you think like a woman, feel like a woman but when you look in a mirror seeing a man looking back at you is an awful feeling.
I don't think I've explained that very well have I?
I was a bit different from most TS girls in that I never dressed "as a girl" throughout my childhood. Most do. The first time I ever wore women's clothes was towards the end of December 2005, the day I had my initial consultation in London with Dr. Reid.
Imagine how scary going to London was that day!
For me it was never about the clothes and if I'd have had to spend the rest of my life naked as long as my body matched my mind that would be fine.
Mrs Trackside said:
And, if it's not too personal, do you find men/women/both sexually attractive?
Both. As I see it someones gender isn't going to get in the way of me fancying them. If there's attraction there, then it's there. No matter who, what or why.Who knows "what" they really are inside anyway, until you get to know them.
Nobody You Know said:
Do you find that men or women are more excepting?
I ask this because some things I have seen/been involved with have suggested that women can be very very unnaccepting wereas men just see the 'person and get on with the business or freindship.
Generally, men seem to be more accepting. I don't know if it's because they see a woman as less of a threat to them so you pass under the radar or because they are too busy staring at my boobs to notice anything "suspicious" about me. I ask this because some things I have seen/been involved with have suggested that women can be very very unnaccepting wereas men just see the 'person and get on with the business or freindship.
I have to say lots of women are very nice but there are some (mainly late 20's/early 30's) that can be very b
hy and rude.I'm not sure why? Maybe they are insecure abou their looks so try to make me feel the same?
I honestly don't know.
But yeah, to most guys I'm "just Vicky/Victoria" and to some it's even better that I'm into cars.
Steamer said:
Seeing as you are opening up for question time I'm going to proper nosey git and ask something pretty much unrelated, what is it you do for a living Vicky? I've always known youve had a enviable garage collection that must take a bit of funding. I'm guessing its a safe bet your not a spanner monkey down the garage anymore Have you hung up the tools for good (no pun intended)?
I hung up my tools at the beginning of 2005 as I didn't think it would be in my best interest (if at all possible) to carry on a career in the motor trade. Have you hung up the tools for good (no pun intended)? Now I have a few business interests: I/we (when I say "we" I mean me and my dad) have a few houses/flats we rent out, mostly corporate lets.
I do corporate airport transfers, I buy and sell a few cars and a few other little bits. I also just recently closed my beauty/nail salon.
Most of it is someone else's hard work
Steamer said:
Is it easier living as a chick or dude?
"Chick". I don't have to pretend to be anything I'm not. And no matter what crap happens in a day I'm happy inside. Having to pretend to be somebody you're not for 33 years is very hard work.
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