Classic from the Mrs!

[tribbles]

My OH is currently ill and not very mobile, so she needs me a bit to do things for her.

"Can you get <this>, please?"
"Okay"
"Can you put <this> <there>, please?"
"Okay"
"Sorry to be a pain, but can you do <that>, please?"
"Okay - is there anything else you need?"
"No - I'm not going to ask you any more questions now"
"Thanks"

So I sit down to watch some TV.

Two seconds later from her:

"Do you want some crisps?"

[DannyScene]

NRS said:

Ennoch said:

Cotty said:

I think I would rather just wear something with sleeves.

Spot the person who doesn't do much outside when it's cold...

I do stuff outside like using skis to walk up mountains and then come back down and don't see the point in them either.

The skis or the mountains?

[CanAm]

RobinBanks said:

We once had a conversation where she thought that Blue Oyster Cult sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's reasonable though since they both have Blue in the name.

I can never remember who sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. I know it's 'Deep Blue' something.

[matchmaker]

CanAm said:

RobinBanks said:

We once had a conversation where she thought that Blue Oyster Cult sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's reasonable though since they both have Blue in the name.

I can never remember who sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. I know it's 'Deep Blue' something.

Quotation mark in the wrong place!

[CanAm]

matchmaker said:

CanAm said:

RobinBanks said:

We once had a conversation where she thought that Blue Oyster Cult sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's reasonable though since they both have Blue in the name.

I can never remember who sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. I know it's 'Deep Blue' something.

Quotation mark in the wrong place!

Not to mention capitalisation. But that would have been a giveaway wouldn't it?

[singlecoil]

I sometimes have to explain things to Mrs SC, for instance, watching the comedy film of Dodgeball, there's a poster saying "Go balls deep with Dodgeball".

And more recently, a programme in which a woman undoes a man's zip and says "Oh my God" and the man says "They used to call me Beer Can at high school".

[sooty61]

"I don't think I've ever seen Kevin Bacon in a film. I have a vision of him in an American war helmet.... but that might not be him"


Yes, she is blonde....

[Carsie]

ikarl said:

Asterix said:

Speed_Demon said:

Chatting with my Mrs while doing the washing up the other night:

Me: "We really need a dishwasher"
Her: "Yeah, no space though"
Me: "Did you know they were invented in the USSR in 1960 by Dmitry Dishwasherkev? Hence the name."
Her: "Really?! I didn't know that!"

I'll be making regular contributions to this thread.

I do stuff like that as well.

yup, guilty of that too!

[s p a c e m a n]

Bird behind the bar, so someones missus.

'We don't have any apple flavoured cider, we've only got pear and original'

[Blown2CV]

s p a c e m a n said:

Bird behind the bar, so someones missus.

'We don't have any apple flavoured cider, we've only got pear and original'

i think a lot of "the kids" don't understand that cider was until quite recently only derived from apples. stty assorted fruit cider varieties to blame. Also if she works in a bar she's unlikely to be someone's missus... she'll be getting rodded by a line-up every night.

[Vaud]

Blown2CV said:

i think a lot of "the kids" don't understand that cider was until quite recently only derived from apples.

Sort of.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry

[Blown2CV]

Vaud said:

Blown2CV said:

i think a lot of "the kids" don't understand that cider was until quite recently only derived from apples.

Sort of.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry

perry isn't cider though is it, it's perry... i CBA to read the article so it probs says i'm wrong in there

[Vaud]

Blown2CV said:

perry isn't cider though is it, it's perry... i CBA to read the article so it probs says i'm wrong in there

It's semantics. Yes perry is perry and cider is cider.

But from a "slightly fizzy alcoholic drink perspective" made from pears or apples, asking for pear cider is technically wrong but not unreasonable.

[Oldandslow]

Good day yesterday.

First off there was an ad for some TV channel reshowing the old Hulk tv series. Looking at the Dr Banner actor she asks "Did they use another actor to be the Hulk or pad him up?"

Then later she put in her contacts and complained that the vision was poor. Then couldn't get them out. I got the right one out for her and then she took out the other side. Looking closer she had 2 lenses in her hand and I had one and she still had one in her right eye. 2 of them had a slight blue tint just like mine while hers are colourless. She'd managed to take her lenses out the last time she'd worn them and put them in my case on top of my lenses and then fitted all 4 of them in her eyes. Her comment was "I noticed they were blue but I thought they'd just gone that way from being in the water"

[Dr Jekyll]

Had a good one this afternoon, I was driving, she was giving me directions to a pub she knows but I don't.

"Straight on here, then turn left where the yellow Volkswagen is usually parked."

[LHRFlightman]

Carsie said:

ikarl said:

Asterix said:

Speed_Demon said:

Chatting with my Mrs while doing the washing up the other night:

Me: "We really need a dishwasher"
Her: "Yeah, no space though"
Me: "Did you know they were invented in the USSR in 1960 by Dmitry Dishwasherkev? Hence the name."
Her: "Really?! I didn't know that!"

I'll be making regular contributions to this thread.

I do stuff like that as well.

yup, guilty of that too!

Me too.

My wife still thinks the Italian UMberto BRELLA invented the umbrella.

[Nom de ploom]

my wife still thinks I was a test pilot for stanner when I was a student and that my first proper job was in a factory putting the half cherries on top of mini bakewells....

[SpeckledJim]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Was it a question of seniority as to who did the 8 and who did the 7?

[theshrew]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

The one with the longest arms did the 8

[Cotty]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

How mind numbing must that be.