Classic from the Mrs!

Classic from the Mrs!

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tribbles

3,970 posts

221 months

Thursday 16th October 2014
quotequote all
My OH is currently ill and not very mobile, so she needs me a bit to do things for her.

"Can you get <this>, please?"
"Okay"
"Can you put <this> <there>, please?"
"Okay"
"Sorry to be a pain, but can you do <that>, please?"
"Okay - is there anything else you need?"
"No - I'm not going to ask you any more questions now"
"Thanks"

So I sit down to watch some TV.

Two seconds later from her:

"Do you want some crisps?"

DannyScene

6,596 posts

154 months

Thursday 16th October 2014
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NRS said:
Ennoch said:
Cotty said:
I think I would rather just wear something with sleeves.
Spot the person who doesn't do much outside when it's cold...
I do stuff outside like using skis to walk up mountains and then come back down and don't see the point in them either.
The skis or the mountains?

CanAm

9,115 posts

271 months

Friday 17th October 2014
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RobinBanks said:
We once had a conversation where she thought that Blue Oyster Cult sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's reasonable though since they both have Blue in the name.
I can never remember who sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. I know it's 'Deep Blue' something.

matchmaker

8,463 posts

199 months

Friday 17th October 2014
quotequote all
CanAm said:
RobinBanks said:
We once had a conversation where she thought that Blue Oyster Cult sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's reasonable though since they both have Blue in the name.
I can never remember who sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. I know it's 'Deep Blue' something.
Quotation mark in the wrong place! wink

CanAm

9,115 posts

271 months

Friday 17th October 2014
quotequote all
matchmaker said:
CanAm said:
RobinBanks said:
We once had a conversation where she thought that Blue Oyster Cult sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's reasonable though since they both have Blue in the name.
I can never remember who sang Breakfast at Tiffany's. I know it's 'Deep Blue' something.
Quotation mark in the wrong place! wink
Not to mention capitalisation. But that would have been a giveaway wouldn't it? smile

singlecoil

33,315 posts

245 months

Friday 17th October 2014
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I sometimes have to explain things to Mrs SC, for instance, watching the comedy film of Dodgeball, there's a poster saying "Go balls deep with Dodgeball".

And more recently, a programme in which a woman undoes a man's zip and says "Oh my God" and the man says "They used to call me Beer Can at high school".


sooty61

686 posts

170 months

Saturday 18th October 2014
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"I don't think I've ever seen Kevin Bacon in a film. I have a vision of him in an American war helmet.... but that might not be him"


Yes, she is blonde....

Carsie

925 posts

203 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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ikarl said:
Asterix said:
Speed_Demon said:
Chatting with my Mrs while doing the washing up the other night:

Me: "We really need a dishwasher"
Her: "Yeah, no space though"
Me: "Did you know they were invented in the USSR in 1960 by Dmitry Dishwasherkev? Hence the name."
Her: "Really?! I didn't know that!"

I'll be making regular contributions to this thread.
hehe I do stuff like that as well.
yup, guilty of that too!
rofl

s p a c e m a n

10,752 posts

147 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Bird behind the bar, so someones missus.

'We don't have any apple flavoured cider, we've only got pear and original'

Blown2CV

28,697 posts

202 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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s p a c e m a n said:
Bird behind the bar, so someones missus.

'We don't have any apple flavoured cider, we've only got pear and original'
i think a lot of "the kids" don't understand that cider was until quite recently only derived from apples. stty assorted fruit cider varieties to blame. Also if she works in a bar she's unlikely to be someone's missus... she'll be getting rodded by a line-up every night.

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Blown2CV said:
i think a lot of "the kids" don't understand that cider was until quite recently only derived from apples.
Sort of.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry

Blown2CV

28,697 posts

202 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Vaud said:
Blown2CV said:
i think a lot of "the kids" don't understand that cider was until quite recently only derived from apples.
Sort of.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry
perry isn't cider though is it, it's perry... i CBA to read the article so it probs says i'm wrong in there

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Blown2CV said:
perry isn't cider though is it, it's perry... i CBA to read the article so it probs says i'm wrong in there
It's semantics. Yes perry is perry and cider is cider.

But from a "slightly fizzy alcoholic drink perspective" made from pears or apples, asking for pear cider is technically wrong but not unreasonable.

Oldandslow

2,405 posts

205 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Good day yesterday.

First off there was an ad for some TV channel reshowing the old Hulk tv series. Looking at the Dr Banner actor she asks "Did they use another actor to be the Hulk or pad him up?"

Then later she put in her contacts and complained that the vision was poor. Then couldn't get them out. I got the right one out for her and then she took out the other side. Looking closer she had 2 lenses in her hand and I had one and she still had one in her right eye. 2 of them had a slight blue tint just like mine while hers are colourless. She'd managed to take her lenses out the last time she'd worn them and put them in my case on top of my lenses and then fitted all 4 of them in her eyes. Her comment was "I noticed they were blue but I thought they'd just gone that way from being in the water"

Dr Jekyll

23,820 posts

260 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Had a good one this afternoon, I was driving, she was giving me directions to a pub she knows but I don't.

"Straight on here, then turn left where the yellow Volkswagen is usually parked."

LHRFlightman

1,930 posts

169 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
quotequote all
Carsie said:
ikarl said:
Asterix said:
Speed_Demon said:
Chatting with my Mrs while doing the washing up the other night:

Me: "We really need a dishwasher"
Her: "Yeah, no space though"
Me: "Did you know they were invented in the USSR in 1960 by Dmitry Dishwasherkev? Hence the name."
Her: "Really?! I didn't know that!"

I'll be making regular contributions to this thread.
hehe I do stuff like that as well.
yup, guilty of that too!
rofl
Me too.

My wife still thinks the Italian UMberto BRELLA invented the umbrella.

biggrin

Nom de ploom

4,890 posts

173 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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my wife still thinks I was a test pilot for stanner when I was a student and that my first proper job was in a factory putting the half cherries on top of mini bakewells....


SpeckledJim

31,608 posts

252 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
Was it a question of seniority as to who did the 8 and who did the 7?

theshrew

6,008 posts

183 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
The one with the longest arms did the 8

Cotty

39,389 posts

283 months

Monday 20th October 2014
quotequote all
anonymous said:
[redacted]
How mind numbing must that be.
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