Management bulls**t phrases

Management bulls**t phrases

Author
Discussion

iphonedyou

9,250 posts

157 months

Friday 6th February 2015
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CraigyMc said:
What would you say architects do? One word answer.
Design.

(Sorry, only just saw this).

CaptainSlow

13,179 posts

212 months

Friday 6th February 2015
quotequote all
If you have any questions please reach out to me.

Blown2CV

28,808 posts

203 months

Friday 6th February 2015
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Socialise it
Front and centre
It's right in his wheelhouse
Work of fiction
Eat your own dog food

Vaud

50,467 posts

155 months

Friday 6th February 2015
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Blown2CV said:
Socialise it
Front and centre
It's right in his wheelhouse
Work of fiction
Eat your own dog food
"Work of fiction" is hardly BS. "His CV is a work of fiction" would be correct English and a polite way of describing an overly ambitious CV... wink

"Eat your own dog food" was created by Paul Maritz, one of the least BS people around and a techie geek.

I agree they both get misused. And agree on the others.

blueST

4,392 posts

216 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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I was told we might be ina position to "breathe our own smoke" soon. I think they meant me can reinvest any left over budget.

Martin4x4

6,506 posts

132 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
iphonedyou said:
CraigyMc said:
What would you say architects do? One word answer.
Design.

(Sorry, only just saw this).
Demanding just one word is stupid, they "design st".

mattdaniels

7,353 posts

282 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
Eat your own dog food
AKA "dogfooding".

Countdown

39,864 posts

196 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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CaptainSlow said:
If you have any questions please reach out to me.
If only our HR Manager (sorry "HR Business Partner") had said that at my induction...... biggrin

Blown2CV

28,808 posts

203 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
quotequote all
Let's stay joined up

GBGaffer

546 posts

270 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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Tyre Tread said:
Ok, I'll have a go:

In one word, what do the following do:
Fireman - extinguishes
Surgeon - cuts
Paramedic - maintains
Director - directs
King - rules
Estate Agent - cheats
etc.

biggrin

vikingaero

10,328 posts

169 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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Brand - as overused as PVC Executive Briefcases in the 80's.

"Our Widget brand is the premier choice for upper percentile widget users" says Knobhead office suits.

Go to a BMW/MINI/Audi/Mercedes/Lexus/Premium dealership and it's mandatory for the workers to masturbate about "brands".

Jaroon

1,441 posts

160 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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"It's in the pre production stage" - (I totally forgot about it).

Pit Pony

8,548 posts

121 months

Saturday 7th February 2015
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a) Don't waste time doing this task properly, just get it all finished today, whether it's right or not. We just need to tick that box with the customer, that says we've done it and move on.

And

b) We know what is the problem so just fix it.

Which given that a) was doing a proper Process Failure Modes Effects Analysis which would take 3 weeks, and b) was actually ballocks because the real problem was the failure to assess the risks effectively BEFORE the event, and ensuring it didn't happen.

RobinBanks

17,540 posts

179 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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I still think that Gus Hedges did it better than anyone.

(no, that's not one of the phrases)

Vaud

50,467 posts

155 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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RobinBanks said:
I still think that Gus Hedges did it better than anyone.

(no, that's not one of the phrases)
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0117015/quotes

"We've got to downsize our sloppiness overload, Joy. Am I making myself clear?"

RobinBanks

17,540 posts

179 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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I just remember when Henry lost his house or it was being renovated or something and the way that Gus offered him his spare room was "I have a sleep area overcapacity situation."

Blown2CV

28,808 posts

203 months

Sunday 8th February 2015
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if you've never seen office space, get it ASAP


BryanC

1,107 posts

238 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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I worked with a German guy and we fell about laughing when he suggested...
' Ve vill have to pull our socks out and put our noses to the grindstone'.

UncappedTag

2,102 posts

185 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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Blown2CV said:
if you've never seen office space, get it ASAP

TPS report?

mitzy

13,857 posts

197 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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Lets get our ducks in a row

I dont want to turn this into a sausage machine