A friend's bizzare Domestic Violence issue, advice needed
Discussion
Hi there
After your collective thoughts about a predicament a good friend of mine has found himself in, I will try to be brief…
As a quick background to the story, he has been in a relationship (not married) with a woman for around 12 years. It has been rather turbulent at times, mainly due to her utter nutjob tendancies… I know her very well and she is the complete embodiment of “the mental.” She left her former husband and two children for my friend and he has had her living with him/supporting her financially ever since. She has had no real full time employment in this time, only the ocassional stint at a restaurant or pub before she rapidly falls out with the managment (its always everyone else and never her) and leaves. She contributes nothing financially and does not own the house or ay part of it whatsoever, merely lives there rent free.
5 weeks ago, after yet another heated argument, the police were called by a neighbour after it spilled out onto the street. My friend has admitted to forcefully pushing her out of his front door, throwing a very valuable watch of his at her and shouting “pawn this and get out of my life,” When the police arrived he was arrested as this woman, who was yet again completely drunk, claimed he had assaulted her. He wasn’t charged with anything, but was subsequently told that whilst there was no evidence to charge him with anything, he was to be placed on a Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO?) for a peroid of 28 days (he volunteered this amount to allow this woman time to leave the house she doesn’t own once and for all.)
During the 28 days which ended on Friday, my friend abided to it by the letter. He did not return to his home as he was told, and did not go anywhere near this woman, despite it being HIS house from where he ran a business. This woman was well aware of his restrictions, yet turned up on numerous ocassions at his daytime place of business, ranting and raving, crying and begging, hurling abuse etc. She also rang his place of work leaving messages numerous times, goading him into meeting with her, knowing he wasn’t allowed to. She even rang me numerous times, as his friend, doing the same. Utterly mental.
On Friday, when the order ended, my friend was looking forward to being able to return home, hopefuly with her finally gone, and continue with his life having had on sleep on sofas, in B&Bs etc for a month. However on Friday morning, a man came to his shop and served him with a letter from the Family Court, stating that this woman had now taken out a “Non Molestation order” against him, because she is terrified that he would return home and “abuse her” after his DVPO ended. Attached is a long statement about the many years of abuse she suffered by him prior to this incident… a statement of which I know to be absolutely full of lies and fiction, as I was there personally for many of the alledged incident and they simply did not happen!!!
The papers state that the Non Molestation order is also to be dealt with next week with her application for Occupancy of his house!! One which doesn’t own and never has done!!
So he is still not allowed into his home while she sits there, not working, while he continues to pay the bills and mortage.
What I want to ask is how on earth can this woman apply for these orders (which are rightly there to protect abused women) by claiming that they will protect her from his abuse (which doesn’t happen) when she is the one who has actively stalked my friend, in a time when we was not allowed to be near her! She has blatently lied in her statement, and is also abusing a court system of protection, because she needs a roof over her head (and knows as long as my friend cannot return home and have her removed, she will have one) and not because she is worried about being beaten. And how on earth can she remain in house or claim occupancy of it when she is in no way financially or legally connected to it?!
My friend is receiving legal advice and is attending the court next week (which will be 7 weeks after he was last allowed home) but what do you think will be the outcome of this? He is not a violent or abuse man whatsoever… I am just utter shocked that he a woman can just create a web of fiction, abuse a court system for her own gain, and prevent a man from returning to his own home whitout even having a chance to answer what he is acused of doing. The have no children, are not married, have no financial ties and the hosue is his entirely. She has merely lived with him for 12 years, on and off.
Will this be thrown out?
Thanks
After your collective thoughts about a predicament a good friend of mine has found himself in, I will try to be brief…
As a quick background to the story, he has been in a relationship (not married) with a woman for around 12 years. It has been rather turbulent at times, mainly due to her utter nutjob tendancies… I know her very well and she is the complete embodiment of “the mental.” She left her former husband and two children for my friend and he has had her living with him/supporting her financially ever since. She has had no real full time employment in this time, only the ocassional stint at a restaurant or pub before she rapidly falls out with the managment (its always everyone else and never her) and leaves. She contributes nothing financially and does not own the house or ay part of it whatsoever, merely lives there rent free.
5 weeks ago, after yet another heated argument, the police were called by a neighbour after it spilled out onto the street. My friend has admitted to forcefully pushing her out of his front door, throwing a very valuable watch of his at her and shouting “pawn this and get out of my life,” When the police arrived he was arrested as this woman, who was yet again completely drunk, claimed he had assaulted her. He wasn’t charged with anything, but was subsequently told that whilst there was no evidence to charge him with anything, he was to be placed on a Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO?) for a peroid of 28 days (he volunteered this amount to allow this woman time to leave the house she doesn’t own once and for all.)
During the 28 days which ended on Friday, my friend abided to it by the letter. He did not return to his home as he was told, and did not go anywhere near this woman, despite it being HIS house from where he ran a business. This woman was well aware of his restrictions, yet turned up on numerous ocassions at his daytime place of business, ranting and raving, crying and begging, hurling abuse etc. She also rang his place of work leaving messages numerous times, goading him into meeting with her, knowing he wasn’t allowed to. She even rang me numerous times, as his friend, doing the same. Utterly mental.
On Friday, when the order ended, my friend was looking forward to being able to return home, hopefuly with her finally gone, and continue with his life having had on sleep on sofas, in B&Bs etc for a month. However on Friday morning, a man came to his shop and served him with a letter from the Family Court, stating that this woman had now taken out a “Non Molestation order” against him, because she is terrified that he would return home and “abuse her” after his DVPO ended. Attached is a long statement about the many years of abuse she suffered by him prior to this incident… a statement of which I know to be absolutely full of lies and fiction, as I was there personally for many of the alledged incident and they simply did not happen!!!
The papers state that the Non Molestation order is also to be dealt with next week with her application for Occupancy of his house!! One which doesn’t own and never has done!!
So he is still not allowed into his home while she sits there, not working, while he continues to pay the bills and mortage.
What I want to ask is how on earth can this woman apply for these orders (which are rightly there to protect abused women) by claiming that they will protect her from his abuse (which doesn’t happen) when she is the one who has actively stalked my friend, in a time when we was not allowed to be near her! She has blatently lied in her statement, and is also abusing a court system of protection, because she needs a roof over her head (and knows as long as my friend cannot return home and have her removed, she will have one) and not because she is worried about being beaten. And how on earth can she remain in house or claim occupancy of it when she is in no way financially or legally connected to it?!
My friend is receiving legal advice and is attending the court next week (which will be 7 weeks after he was last allowed home) but what do you think will be the outcome of this? He is not a violent or abuse man whatsoever… I am just utter shocked that he a woman can just create a web of fiction, abuse a court system for her own gain, and prevent a man from returning to his own home whitout even having a chance to answer what he is acused of doing. The have no children, are not married, have no financial ties and the hosue is his entirely. She has merely lived with him for 12 years, on and off.
Will this be thrown out?
Thanks
her children dont live in the house (she effectively "walked out" on them years ago) and she sees them rarely.. they are both mid-late 20's now.
She contribues nothing to the house apart from the odd food shop here and there. She isnt even on the electoral role as living there i'm told, because it has never been a permanent arrangement. They constantly split up and she comes back, and he lets her in as he feels a sense of responsibility after she left her family for him. No money to her name.
What im most astonished about is my friend has photographic evidence of her harrassing him and turning up at his work, and trying to meet with him when she knew he wasnt allowed, yet she is "terrified" of him and tells the court she needs an order to keep him away from her!! Thus meaning he cant go home and she can live there! Will the court not throw her claim out knowing this?
She contribues nothing to the house apart from the odd food shop here and there. She isnt even on the electoral role as living there i'm told, because it has never been a permanent arrangement. They constantly split up and she comes back, and he lets her in as he feels a sense of responsibility after she left her family for him. No money to her name.
What im most astonished about is my friend has photographic evidence of her harrassing him and turning up at his work, and trying to meet with him when she knew he wasnt allowed, yet she is "terrified" of him and tells the court she needs an order to keep him away from her!! Thus meaning he cant go home and she can live there! Will the court not throw her claim out knowing this?
with regards to keeps evidence of her misdeeds... he has photo/video evidence or her abusive visits to his shop, recordings of her voicemail messages asking to meet when she knows he was prohibited, and has logged each visit/contact from her with the police officer who dealt with him after his initial arrest. He also has the copies of texts she sent to me personally, abusing me for being on "his side" and also asking to arrange a meet etc
To any BiB here and as an update to the situation, not only is my friend still not allowed in his house, but we have recently discovered that several "reviews" have been written about his business on Yell.com and the like, advising people to avoid as he is a wifebeater/nicked for assaulting a woman/dangerous man etc. Can only have come from this mental womans side, and he only found out through customers trying to give him business... at least one of whom now has their reservations about using him/us. Im lost for words. Is there anything he can do?
He has engaged with a well respected (female) family law solicitor, who im told is of the opinion that all the (backed up with evidence) visits/stalking/harrassment/messages/phones calls to him, me, several
of his other friends and family will be her downfall. How can she claim to require a court order to keep him away from her when she actively commits these? And the solicitor also says that any claim to the house is not an option.
We sat in a pub next to his place of business this week-she drove past (did not see us) and parked at a "friend" of her's house across the road (i say friend, she has none and is clutching at straws.) An already convicted drink driver, and knowing after 2 hours in there she would have had at least a few glasses of wine, we thought it may be wise to tip off the police before she drove off. It was my advice to not-no proof and probably taking the higher ground to not mess her life up completely.... after todays revelations i wish he had.
Also, funny how she has placed a Non Mol order on him, yet feels it acceptable to drive directly outside my friends place of work know it to be likely he is there.... again we have photogrpahic evidence of this incident which she will be unawre of
of his other friends and family will be her downfall. How can she claim to require a court order to keep him away from her when she actively commits these? And the solicitor also says that any claim to the house is not an option.
We sat in a pub next to his place of business this week-she drove past (did not see us) and parked at a "friend" of her's house across the road (i say friend, she has none and is clutching at straws.) An already convicted drink driver, and knowing after 2 hours in there she would have had at least a few glasses of wine, we thought it may be wise to tip off the police before she drove off. It was my advice to not-no proof and probably taking the higher ground to not mess her life up completely.... after todays revelations i wish he had.
Also, funny how she has placed a Non Mol order on him, yet feels it acceptable to drive directly outside my friends place of work know it to be likely he is there.... again we have photogrpahic evidence of this incident which she will be unawre of
Sorry can lawyer/anyone in the know give advice here;
My friend attended the court today - they have adjourned the matter until the END OF NOVEMBER due to lack of court time to deal with thr Non Mol and Occupation Order petition.
He remains, after 7 weeks, prohibited to return to his house for now a further 2 and a half months, remains paying the entire mortage, bills, council tax etc, while his ex lives there paying zero, with her name on nothing, not on the electoral role there, no kids, not married to him, and not working. All because she has put forward false abuse claims and states she needs "protection" yet contines to stalk my friend and come near him, even after she had the order created.
What the actual f
k?
My friend attended the court today - they have adjourned the matter until the END OF NOVEMBER due to lack of court time to deal with thr Non Mol and Occupation Order petition.
He remains, after 7 weeks, prohibited to return to his house for now a further 2 and a half months, remains paying the entire mortage, bills, council tax etc, while his ex lives there paying zero, with her name on nothing, not on the electoral role there, no kids, not married to him, and not working. All because she has put forward false abuse claims and states she needs "protection" yet contines to stalk my friend and come near him, even after she had the order created.
What the actual f
k?He cant go "within 100 metres of the house, or have any representative/agent/family member/colleague to go on his behalf" !!! As stated in the order
He has got legal representation and has already paid circa £1k for it apparently
He cant go back and reconcile...he is now with another woman and as soon as his ex found out about it this Non Mol and Occupancy st began. She wants money
He has got legal representation and has already paid circa £1k for it apparently
He cant go back and reconcile...he is now with another woman and as soon as his ex found out about it this Non Mol and Occupancy s
t began. She wants moneyHe's told me he has asked his solicitor to get in touch with hers and offer a realistic financial settlement which he wants accepted by the end of today... car paid off and lump sum etc. Just to get her gone and out of his life. The run up to christmas for his business starts at the beginning of nov and he absolutley needs access to his property and home office for it-stands to lose a lot more otherwise. Ive told him it shouldnt have to come to this but the poor mans at his absolute wits end.... her owes her nothing but this cant drag on anymore and she knows it
He should have known this would happen one day, she did something very similar 10 years ago to the husband and kids she left for him. Utter freeloader
He should have known this would happen one day, she did something very similar 10 years ago to the husband and kids she left for him. Utter freeloader
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