contact order - family law
Discussion
anybody able to help im at my wits end here. My gf ex husband is making our lives a misery - coming to collect the kids and parking on the grass, blasting the horn outside and calling her insulting names in front of the kids, he also came in the house a while ago and tried to assult her sexually which we went to the police about. Is there anything we can do - some type of contact order to state he would have to collect the kids away from the house maybe at a halfway point. They split 2.5 years ago and he hasnt moved on at all. Mental health nurse as well
Nothing happened with police /assault as my gf didn't want to press charges which really annoyed me. As he is a nurse she said he would loose his job and not be able to pay maintenance. I witnessed it myself he had her pressed against the wall it was not nice. It is a very difficult situation. Out of interest is there a 'time' in which you can press charges against an assault?
She did start recording his phone conversations and used an app on her phone to record him when he was with her. Last year social services got involved as he had them over night and decided to take an overdose of sleeping tablets .
The police did call him and have a word but he was adamant to this day it was me calling him up as a joke.
She did start recording his phone conversations and used an app on her phone to record him when he was with her. Last year social services got involved as he had them over night and decided to take an overdose of sleeping tablets .
The police did call him and have a word but he was adamant to this day it was me calling him up as a joke.
Edited by dba7108 on Sunday 15th February 23:00
boobles said:
So when you witnessed this, did you approach him & she stopped you from doing anything?
If so, why didn't you warn him that if he pulls a stunt like that again, there would be trouble?
No, i saw it through the window, called the police straight away and they advised not to go in, at that point she had pushed him off anyway and within 60 seconds a cop car had pulled up. Hats off to BIB they wanted to do something but they said it was down to her and she didnt as she thought it would make the situation worse as he may loose his job. My point is if a bloke is willing to do that then he lost any privileges on his job. If so, why didn't you warn him that if he pulls a stunt like that again, there would be trouble?
Fab32 said:
Fab32 said:
How old are the children?
1) I always thought social services would do a good job, but to be honest they have been a complete joke. It was investigated under sec.17 as it had also come to light that he had left them alone and driven off to the petrol station. They are 4,5,7 & 10 yrs old. He admitted to social services during a meeting that he left them alone and he has swore in front of them and also told them they would never see their mother again. and social services said at least you have admitted your mistake and now you need to move on. F**kin joke.
What happened when children's services were involved? was it investigated under section 17 or section 47 of the children act? What was the outcome?
Was the ex partner reported to LADO, if he works with children or adult safeguarding if he works with adults? not sure what LADO is? he works with adult patients.
If everything is as reported then you partner should be entitled to legal aid as she has been the victim of domestic abuse. she spoke to a charity last week who were actually very helpful and have arranged for her to get divorce & c100 contact order (although looking at it I think you need to attend mediation?)
If she goes and visits a local solicitor they will assess her for legal aid, I would suggest she needs a non molestation order and then a contact plan either through mediation or court directed.
In the interim I suggest she sends him a letter explaining his behaviour to her is completely unacceptable and he is not welcome at her/your house and that if he does attend the property she will call the police. future contact will need to happen away from her/your home and the children will be dropped off at grandparents/friends/uncles wherever at x time and they need to be returned at x time for them to be collected 15 minutes later.
I will say if he aggressive, sexually violent and mentally unstable is he suitable to be having unsupervised contact? based on the scant information provided perhaps a friend of his or family needs to supervise him having contact?
She briefly used to drop them off at her mom's and he would collect but that fizzled out. It is very difficult and I am not a soft touch but what I havent wanted to do is go in throwing punches as Il end up in the nick. Although there have been many a time when I have thought sod this and felt like smashing him in. Im sure many a bloke would of done that.
I am aware its poor form to quote yourself but the OP seems intent on only defending himself rather than supplying more information so he can be properly helped.1) I always thought social services would do a good job, but to be honest they have been a complete joke. It was investigated under sec.17 as it had also come to light that he had left them alone and driven off to the petrol station. They are 4,5,7 & 10 yrs old. He admitted to social services during a meeting that he left them alone and he has swore in front of them and also told them they would never see their mother again. and social services said at least you have admitted your mistake and now you need to move on. F**kin joke.
What happened when children's services were involved? was it investigated under section 17 or section 47 of the children act? What was the outcome?
Was the ex partner reported to LADO, if he works with children or adult safeguarding if he works with adults? not sure what LADO is? he works with adult patients.
If everything is as reported then you partner should be entitled to legal aid as she has been the victim of domestic abuse. she spoke to a charity last week who were actually very helpful and have arranged for her to get divorce & c100 contact order (although looking at it I think you need to attend mediation?)
If she goes and visits a local solicitor they will assess her for legal aid, I would suggest she needs a non molestation order and then a contact plan either through mediation or court directed.
In the interim I suggest she sends him a letter explaining his behaviour to her is completely unacceptable and he is not welcome at her/your house and that if he does attend the property she will call the police. future contact will need to happen away from her/your home and the children will be dropped off at grandparents/friends/uncles wherever at x time and they need to be returned at x time for them to be collected 15 minutes later.
I will say if he aggressive, sexually violent and mentally unstable is he suitable to be having unsupervised contact? based on the scant information provided perhaps a friend of his or family needs to supervise him having contact?
She briefly used to drop them off at her mom's and he would collect but that fizzled out. It is very difficult and I am not a soft touch but what I havent wanted to do is go in throwing punches as Il end up in the nick. Although there have been many a time when I have thought sod this and felt like smashing him in. Im sure many a bloke would of done that.
OP can you answer any of my questions?
Edited by dba7108 on Monday 16th February 18:32
drug overdose (tho he didnt do a very good job more an attention seeking exercise) he has done this before apparently got talked off a bridge by police about 6 years ago.
police been called once before when he turned up at the house with a baseball bat and wanted to know where i was. this was in front of her and kids. He is obsessed with her and has told her he wont give up till im out her life.
she keeps a diary of calls/text messages and keeps messages on her phone this has been show to social services who just roll their eyes in disgust but nothing gets done. They said last week if he takes anymore tablets etc then they will take over and ensure he doesnt see kids.
I try to sheild kids from any of this so make a point of not 'kicking off' with their father as this will only hinder my relationship with them and to be honest thats what he wants - for me to start throwing punches so he can say im not safe etc (she recorded him saying this on the phone and played it to Soc Serv)
police been called once before when he turned up at the house with a baseball bat and wanted to know where i was. this was in front of her and kids. He is obsessed with her and has told her he wont give up till im out her life.
she keeps a diary of calls/text messages and keeps messages on her phone this has been show to social services who just roll their eyes in disgust but nothing gets done. They said last week if he takes anymore tablets etc then they will take over and ensure he doesnt see kids.
I try to sheild kids from any of this so make a point of not 'kicking off' with their father as this will only hinder my relationship with them and to be honest thats what he wants - for me to start throwing punches so he can say im not safe etc (she recorded him saying this on the phone and played it to Soc Serv)
Forgot about the maintenance - she called the CSA as he was only paying £285 a month for 4 kids when he should of been paying approx £360 based on his wages. They then sent her a letter to say he should pay £210 as the most up to date records they have are 2012 and if she wants it changed then he needs to call them - which he wont do in a million years.
she did go to mediation session and he said he would go but he never turned up.
thanks guvnor for your reply
she did go to mediation session and he said he would go but he never turned up.
thanks guvnor for your reply
police were not called when baseball bat happened - i kept nagging her until she went down the police station then at the front office she said this isnt going to help so we went in the car and home. But yes you are right her answer is to bury her head in the sand and not rock the boat and hope he is "ok" on the day he picks the kids up. As he has bi-polar then depending on what day it is is Dependant on the mood he is in.
I have now taken to answering the door to him and keeping her as little involved as possible. If he needs to discuss kids which is very rare then she said she will do it via text.
The csa said they cant reevaluate it until Ocotber
I have now taken to answering the door to him and keeping her as little involved as possible. If he needs to discuss kids which is very rare then she said she will do it via text.
The csa said they cant reevaluate it until Ocotber
Edited by dba7108 on Tuesday 17th February 16:25
update - sat watching tv friday on my own when gf was due to drop kids at his and front door slams open and he came in and attacked me. Police called and he is in the cell being - interviewed tomorrow for 'burglary and assault'. Coppers were great said they will do all they can to sort this. Christ knows why he did this as its certain death to his career. I wasnt badly injured - and glad he has done it to be honest as he has f&&ked himself up.
Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff