Bank Employee's inappropriate relationship with customer

[Riknos]

I'm not sure if anything here is illegal hence posting here - hopefully somebody can shed some light.

Approx 5 years ago, my Grandparents sold their second home for approx £800k I believe and walked into their local brand of X bank and deposited a big fat cheque for the money. They already had a second home they were now living in permanently and had prior savings and a good pension.

Most of their family is 5+ hours away, except for their son. It was around the very time they deposited this cheque that one of the bank employees became very friendly with them, I believe she is potentially a manager/assistant manager of the branch. Over the course of the next few months she would offer her assistance and call them to speak with them, offering her husband to help with chores around the house. Over time this developed into frequent visits, husband (call his A) and wife (call her J) visiting and bringing their daughter (M). A would turn up at their house and offer his services of gardening, general jobs around the house, tidying etc, and they would offer him money in exchange which he would refuse. After a while A lost his job so when the offers of money were presented they would be accepted. He was paid the going rate of a gardener, fuel money for giving them lifts etc.

My Grandparents whilst being of a mindset that they know what they're doing they weren't exactly all there upstairs and are very difficult people to talk to / communicate with etc. A and J eventually got their child to start calling my grandparents "nan and granddad" My grandparents helped them out such as giving A their old car, then when that broke down not long after they then gave him some money to buy a new car. They even changed their will at some point to include J in it for a 5 figure sum. This was later changed back after my Granddad's brother convinced him to as he didn't trust them. My Granddad was the sensible one and my Grandmother often lives in her own world.

I don't understand why these people would have randomly picked my grandparents to befriend - as far as I'm aware A at least has his own parents still so it's not like a surrogate thing, and even if it was I still think the relationship is inappropriate.

Is there anything we can do? I have thought about writing to J's manager at the bank but I'm not sure we have a leg to stand on?

Also - There is another issue of that apparently my Granddad's Will could not be honoured properly as there was approx £100k missing from his finances. He was always careful with money and still had all his marbles until the end, my uncle is saying he must have lost track of his spending but yes perhaps of a few thousands but 100k? They didn't go on any holidays, buy any luxury items or anything for that matter. All they've done for the last few years is go out for meals and pay A & J money to help with chores and help out with the car etc.

Would we be able to hire an accountant to look into it for example?

Appreciate any advise, thanks.

[Riknos]

iambeowulf said:

Sounds like sour grapes to me.

Family not that close to family member who then gets close to someone not in the family circle. If there was no money involved you and your family wouldn't give a toss.

Just because non of the family connected with them doesn't mean they can't have friends who do and friends usually help eachother out financially.

If imagine that when the will goes to probate your family will be fighting for years over who has what. Sorry. Seen it many times before.

As usual - there's always some cock on this website who likes to be a keyboard warrior.

My Granddad died and I'm worried about my Grandma as she is on her own and too nice and trusting and people take advantage of her. She got mugged in the post office the other day after drawing her pension when someone asked her where the birthday cards are and she went looking for them before she closed her purse. She's 86 and vulnerable - go be a cock somewhere else.

ralphrj said:

carreauchompeur said:

Very difficult. As someone of a suspicious mindset I would regard this as financial grooming and wouldn't be surprised if that was the reason for the bank employee losing his job.

If I've read it right it wasn't the bank employee that lost their job but the husband of the bank employee who was being offered as a handyman.

Yes that's correct J still works in the bank it's A who lost his job and does chores for them for money.

The very day my Granddad died J tried to sell them some managed bank service package to take care of all of his finances - luckily my Grandmother isn't so gullible that she fell for it but it is worrying.

[Riknos]

Appreciate all the help and opinions guys - will look into contacting the bank and see if there is anything they can do.

Just to clarify something - this isn't about any level of jealously of these people receiving money, they are entitled to it if they are being good friends and helping out, if it is sincere, but it doesn't appear to be at all based on evidence so this is why I do not want to see my Grandmother being taken advantage of.

[Riknos]

ging84 said:

If the guy who lost his job effectively ended up working for them full time doing gardening etc, then over 5 years that alone could clock up £100k, but if it was all cash in hand no taxes declared he was working illegally.

True - but he only recently lost his job apparently, and she (J) now only works 2 days a week at the bank, out of her choice I imagine, so it's not like they do it full time.

Considering they were meant to be such good friends neither of them stayed for the wake after the funeral and J couldn't even be bothered to get the day off to attend - despite the rest of the family doing so and travelling hundreds of miles for it - if they were honestly caring and compassionate people who were true friends I wouldn't mind but their attitudes and the way they go about things just doesn't add up to being genuine people - to me it's about the principal that my family are being taken advantage of, it's not about the money.

[Riknos]

Not that I need to defend myself, but here are the facts:

1. I'm not after anybody's money and I'm not jealous of anyone receiving it if they truly do care, then they can earn it - but I just want it checked out as it seems suspicious to myself (and others too so I'm not in the minority here)
2. The whole family is concerned - my Grandmother isn't all there upstairs and neither is my dad due to medical issues. His sister is house bound and hundreds of miles away due to medical issues. The rest of the family however are all concerned and we have been for years. This isn't the first time we have tried to do something it's just the first time I asked for help on PH...
3. My father's (now deceased) partner raised concerns years ago that my grandmother was favouring A over her own son - not only in a financial sense but in an emotional / physical sense - grandmother got very defensive and fell out with said partner over the matter, I'm not sure if they ever made up either. Any time anyone ever queries the relationship with my grandmother she gets very defensive so we drop it.
4. Other members of the family have been concerned and have tried to get involved but were reassured not to worry and unable to influence my grandmother in any way - this is not just myself this is ALL members of the family, majority of which stand no financial gain either way so our (as this includes me) concern is purely for our family - and it shows how immoral some people are if they think otherwise.
5. A&J actually took down pictures of myself and my sibling from our grandparents mantle pieces and replaced them with their own children - this was later reverted after another family member commented on this.

We have a family member who works for social services now so she is going to look into getting meals on wheels and care assistance provided to my grandmother also.

9mm said:

You know what it's like. Stories examined often start to come unravelled. All we can go on so far is what's been posted. However, even if these people had been friends for some time, there's a potential issue - best practice, conflict of interest, compliance, etc, that sounds like it's worthy of investigation.

This is what I was getting at - I was asking for opinions on whether others agreed that some kind of best practice or conflict of interest should be looked into - which we will do.

blearyeyedboy said:

Sunlight is the best disinfectant. If it's looked into and all's above board, no one need worry. If there's behaviour that needs looking into then it might be the case for other vulnerable bank customers too- reporting this may help protect other families.

Read this and then report your concerns. You'll be doing the right thing.

Perfect - thank you!