Assisted suicide..

[Shuvi McTupya]

Following on from my last thread about having to lose the family home if my mother has to go into care for an extended period, I want to discuss the other options.

My mother, who is quite healthy at the moment, would like to leave me her house.

If she ends up going into care, the local authority will take the value out of her house to pay for her care.

Her choice would be to take a one way trip to a Swiss clinic and leave her asset to me.

Why is that illegal?

.

[Shuvi McTupya]

My mother and I are pragmatic.

She has had a good life and her worst nightmare is to get to a stage where someone has to wipe her arse for her.

Why is that bad ?

[Shuvi McTupya]

Drumroll said:

Because your OP was totally about you and you getting your hands on your mums money.

No, it is because my mother wants to leave me the house!

[Shuvi McTupya]

Legacywr said:

This a thread that's going to end badly!

Maybe..

[Shuvi McTupya]

longshot said:

'There must be a way to protect my inheritance!'

Why don't you care for her instead?

I will, but she would hate me wiping her arse, she would rather be dead...

[Shuvi McTupya]

Pebbles167 said:

Cant you just take over the mortgage?

If mortgage paid, isn't there a way she can transfer the house to you without killing herself?

No mortgage.,if she transfers the house to me, apparently it will be treated as cheating somehow and they will take the money somehow..

[Shuvi McTupya]

longshot said:

Shuvi McTupya said:

longshot said:

'There must be a way to protect my inheritance!'

Why don't you care for her instead?

I will, but she would hate me wiping her arse, she would rather be dead...

Just push her down the fking stairs then.

That's my mum you are talking about, I love her and she loves me.

You heartless bd.

[Shuvi McTupya]

Pebbles167 said:

I watched my gran die two years ago. When it came to it, i dont think she cared about the indignity of having to be cared for by my dad and his sisters. She was just happy to have people around her who loved her.

Just look after her man and try make her last months as comfortable as possible. You can have the house after that, and you wont have the feeling that you just gave up on mum to obtain some property.

My mother is still a long way away from this, we still play golf together. I am 47 and she is 71. She is fine right now, there was a bit if a scare recently which made us talk about options.

It was her idea that we went to see a solicitor last week to see what needs to be done!

[Shuvi McTupya]

longshot said:

Shuvi McTupya said:

longshot said:

Shuvi McTupya said:

longshot said:

'There must be a way to protect my inheritance!'

Why don't you care for her instead?

I will, but she would hate me wiping her arse, she would rather be dead...

Just push her down the fking stairs then.

That's my mum you are talking about, I love her and she loves me.

You heartless bd.

Yes, and it's your mum you're talking about too.

Yup and I know her better than you do. Tomorrow I will put up a picture of me and her which will prove my point.she is cool as fk and miles away from death or losing her marbles..

[Shuvi McTupya]

Pebbles167 said:

Have you been on the sauce by any chance?

Yes

But that doesn't change the actual circumstances. If I had not been on the sauce I would not have been bringing it all up on PH, but everything I am saying is true..

[Shuvi McTupya]

longshot said:

I look forward to it.
How about a pic of the house too?

Sure, she will be up for that! She loves this house!

[Shuvi McTupya]

ModernAndy said:

I have an image of somebody speedily pushing their mother into the dignitas clinic on a wheelchair with the deeds to a house in their back pocket. I'm thinking spoilt bd in the Viz.

You would be very wrong

[Shuvi McTupya]

Drumroll said:

You have started two threads both are about getting your hands on your mums money and you get narky with everyone else.

Whilst I to find it annoying that those that have no assets get there care paid for and those with assets don't. It is where we are.

The other side is why should "we" (taxpayers) pay for your mother (or anybody else) when she has money to pay for here accommodation?

I know, we are being selfish...human nature?

[Shuvi McTupya]

RDMcG said:

Rather than beat up the OP, it seems to me that there are only a couple of questions...

(1) Is the mother mentally unimpaired and capable of making a decision rationally?

(2) Has she been put under any pressure to take the Dignitas trip?


If she is able to make the decision dispassionately ,then I have no problem with it. I have personally set up every possible Do Not Resuscitate order with my family, lawyer and doctor, and if I were facing a miserable, unhealthy, painful future, I would unhesitatingly make the trip. I have left written instructions in the event I cannot make the decision due to a stroke for instance.

Length of life is trivial compared to quality of life. Most of us get old and those who do frequently have chronic health challenges. The idea of being confined to a home , or lying in some hospice waiting for death is not for me personally.

I have no idea what the OPs involvement is and so am not going to pile on the criticism, but would instead just think about the two questions I raised.

Are you my mother? That sounds like her words!

She is of sound mind and body, but recently she had a funny turn and phoned me not knowing how she got where she was or what she was there for. I called an ambulance because that is not my mothers normal thing at all.

She was admitted to hospital and it was established that it was just a high blood pressure issue ( she stopped taking the pills) but it scared all of us. It is her idea that my sister and I should have power of attorney and whatever else is required.

But I would be lying if I said I would rather give the house to the local authorities than keep it for myself, if the worst was to happen!

[Shuvi McTupya]

RDMcG said:

I think you should be aware that there has to be a prior written intent by the person going to Dignitass if the person cannot communicate for instance, so planning is important. You cannot simply ship a stroke victim there and have the deed done.
In general the people who go are highly aware of what they are doing. I have known a few who have taken the trip typically because of a debilitating disease, and they had conversations with their families proper in advance of making the decision. This is of course a deeply personal call and I have no advice on the "should" or "should not", merely that it needs to be planned and discussed properly in advance.

Thanks for the sensible reply!

My mother won't be needing that service anytime soon! But she would quite happily sign something that says that would be her preference, should the time come.

In the mean time, we will continue playing golf

[Shuvi McTupya]

swerni said:

So you've worked out that the tax payer won't fund your inheritance now you want to top her instead.
Don't forget to insure her first, it'll increase the yield

WTF..

This is a thread about assisted suicide, not murder. Since I was a teen, my mother has made it quite clear that if she got into a state where she couldn't look after herself, she would rather not be here.

Thankfully it is purely hyperthetical at the moment anyway, she will hopefully live another twenty years , it is just something she and I have been discussing due to her recent health scare..

[Shuvi McTupya]

Monkeylegend said:

On to more important issues, OP promised pictures of his Mum, him and the house. Hope it wasn't the drink talking

Yeah, I decided that ain't happening

[Shuvi McTupya]

Just to clarify a couple of points as many of you have got confused.

My mother would not go down the Dignitas route just so her family could inherit the house, she would do it so she didn't have to suffer the indignity of being a burden as she has always been very independent.

While some of you don't think that is a good enough reason, she does, and it is her life!

I didn't bring the subject up, she has made her position clear since I was old enough to understand, we visited her mother in various care facilities for years and she doesn't want to go down that route..neither do I.

Looking for advice on how to keep the house after her death is an entirely different issue.

[Shuvi McTupya]

lee_fr200 said:

Me personally I'd rather sell the house and put the money into her care

How can anyone be that money or asset orientated to bump off a parent either assisted or whatever

If your mother is vulnerable then you need to protect her from herself not agree for her to go and kill herself


I'd much rather have my parents than bricks n mortar

But, she doesn't want to go into care..so you are suggesting I sell the house to force her to go into a care home against her wishes.

And she is not vulnerable, she is perfectly healthy and of sound mind..she recently had a little health scare though and it made her start thinking about wills/ power of attorney etc. she booked an appointment to go see a solicitor but he was a little vague so I thought I would ask on here..big mistake

And to answer other people's question, I don't Still live at home but I recently sold my house and moved up to Scotland for work, seeing as she already lived up here it made sense to pool our resources. I pay a reasonable rent so she is able to have a higher quality of life, and I don't have to go shopping

[Shuvi McTupya]

Assisted suicide would be her preference, and that is what this thread was supposed to be about, the other thread was about the actual options that are available which ( when the time comes) is for me to become a full time carer or for her to into care, against her wishes...

It is a lose lose situation, she loses her house and her independence, and my siblings and I lose the inheritance she would like to pass down to us, and we would like her to pass down to us, obviously..