Parental Law

[craig-A]

Guys,

cutting a long story short, i'm having hell with my ex and access to my son.

Rights and Responsibilities were granted around 5 years ago, access rights a few years before then. Needless to say these both required court visits.

Recently my ex has stopped me contacting my son directly, changing his mobile number. Most recently she has threatened to get some kind of termination of rights, she called it an 88e form? any ideas?

My son is really struggling, his school work is really suffering and he has taken to self harming.

Today i've had an email from her Lawyer telling me not to contact her again, saying the tone and nature of my phone calls are not acceptable. Before anyone asks, i record my phone calls with my ex and I am extra careful about what i say.

So, can a child or an ex terminate the rights of a parent? If so what is the process?

Craig

P.S. i should add, having been made redundant last year I cannot afford a lawyer nor am i entitled to legal aid.

[craig-A]

Devil2575 said:

Why are you not entitled to legal aid?

Around £2k in a business account was deemed too much.

[craig-A]

PurpleMoonlight said:

If you have a court order for contact, then she would need to apply to the court to have that revised.

Likewise though, if she refuses to comply with the order currently in place it's up to you to drag her stty arse back to court to try to get her to comply.

Seems like this is the only (expensive) option. My total spend on Lawyers fees since my son was born are in excess of £12k! Lawyers seem very very reluctant to go to court, my last chat with a Lawyer suggested I reduce contact as opposed to court action.

[craig-A]

bmw535i said:

1. How old is your son?
2. What are his wishes and feelings?
3. Is there a court order stating what contact he is supposed to have with you?
4. I would strongly recommend represnting yourself if you are articulate and can maintain composure.

My son is 13, not seen him since last September though when he was 12.
I have a letter from him he sent just over a year ago stating he wished to remain in contact, this was after my partner told me i wasn't seeing him for the holidays.
The court order states, 1 week in Easter, 2 weeks in summer, 1 week in October, xmas day from 2pm till 6pm on the 2nd of January. Access every other weekend from 5pm Friday till 6pm Sunday.
Rights to school and medical matters.
My partner is adamant it is my son who is refusing to contact me, but will not pass on his (new) mobile number. This seems to be her get out clause and so far it's working.
The thought of representing myself is pretty daunting, i'd need a lot of advice prior to this.

[craig-A]

PurpleMoonlight said:

That's a shame Craig. Was your relationship with him okay before contact stopped?

If you apply to court the chances are the mother will state the same and the Judge will order a CAFCASS report to ascertain if what she says is true. At least you will know the truth then.

My relationship was good, though in the last few years the levels of lies and manipulation by my ex have been ramped up to almost unbelievable levels. An example being after parents evening this year, which she didnt go to and hasnt since primary 6, i called her to discuss some issues raised by his maths teacher. She denied there was issues, refused to contact the school herself and told me that any issue between the school and CJ(our son) was not her responsibility!
And yes i did record the phone call.

Back to my relationship with my son, it has become strained where he would tell me stuff his mum has said and i would counter this by producing court documents showing other wise which obviously adds to his confusion and stress.

[craig-A]

gshughes said:

Have you told her you are recording the calls? If not they won't be admissible in court as far as I am aware and it may not be a good idea to admit you are doing this, although it is probably still worth doing to aid your memory.

This was made clear to her years ago in a lawyers letter that I wont speak to her unless the call is recorded or is on speaker phone and someone else is listening as well.

[craig-A]

Fab32 said:

Hi OP I am not a solicitor but I am a Social Worker, I am happy to provide my HCPC reg number by private message if needed. I mostly deal with public law stuff but have done some private law.

You need to take legal advice in the first instance but it is perfectly acceptable to represent yourself in court, it will be daunting, but it really isn't that difficult. As has been said before as long as you can answer questions without becoming abusive then you will be fine. Just remember the court isn't a forum for anybody to have their say its to make decisions on the best course of action.

Your ex cannot unduly block contact without reason and the court will take a very dim view if she is.

You mention self harming, does he have a CAMHs worker? If not has he had an assessment. If you don't know ring and ask, you have PR co have a right to know. Same with anything to do with school.

I believe you can record any phone call you like sharing it with somebody else without permission is where the issue is (I'm happy to corrected on this).

Is she getting legal aid or is she paying for her solicitor?

If you aren't going to take legal advice, the idea of sending her a letter stating you want contact to resume on x date including a copy of the court order and stating you will return the matter before the court if this doesn't happen would be a good place to start.

Thanks for the advice Fab. I'm speaking to a lawyer on Tuesday for advice, i'll ask about proceeding with court action on my own as Lawyers charge £65 per 30 mins!!!!

She is, of course getting legal aid. There is some social work involvement re the self harming, school have been pretty good tbh.

I'll keep you posted as to progress.