Falsely accused of adultery in divorce

[ZombieT5]

Hey all
As the title says: my wife has issued divorce papers (brilliant) but stated my adultery as the reason for divorce. I didn't have sex with her all that often, let alone anyone else!

Can I disagree without contesting?
If I do, will it increase cost and complication?
What are the ramifications of "just going along with it" for the sake of simplicity??

We have one child who she's using against me so legal costs are already on the increase through a court wpplication. We have no finances to split as I generally don't have a proverbial pot.

Thanks in advance

[ZombieT5]

She's claiming that it is a woman in Leeds who I was dating for a very short time when I returned from married life in Northampton

[ZombieT5]

The only thing I was worried about was if agreeing would cause problems further down the line or cost me more. Numerous horror stories etc.

I just want to move on, get access to my daughter (who she's now stopped me from seeing and even talking to) and enjoy my life without her being a problem

[ZombieT5]

PurpleMoonlight said:

As a general rule the reason for divorce does not matter, and does not affect any financial judgement.

However, a crazy ex intent in denying you contact with your child will likely seek to use any justification they can be that reasonable or not, and she may therefore seek to use the claimed adultery in that.

I think you can write on the divorce response that you disagree with the reasons sited but you accept the marriage is over and do not object to the divorce.

That's my plan.

[ZombieT5]

Hackney said:

I'm sorry, I don't understand this.

Did you date this woman in Leeds?
Were you married at the time?

The marriage was over, I was forced to leave and ended up at my parents in Leeds. After a while I begun dating...well, having a good time. Yes I was married, but separated and both looking to divorce.

She settled her new guy in not long after and I found my current partner. The marriage had been done for a while, we just didn't want to admit it.

No I didn't beat her or sleep around. I wasn't the best stepdad or husband, but I tried to do everything I could being the main parent, part time worker, full time student and part time photographer. It doesn't help that I suffer with manic depression and I don't think she knew how to handle it.

[ZombieT5]

snorky782 said:

Unreasonable behaviour has theoretically just as big a stigma attached to it. However, in reality neither matter much at all. This will now sound very insensitive, but I think the OP is falling into the age old trap of letting his emotions rule his head on this divorce, as if there is a victory to be won, when there isn't.

I'm actually not. I just wish to know the ramifications and using it to poison my daughter against me is one concern.

I feel nothing but indifference toward her now, she's shown her true face.

The prior post does explain a few things

[ZombieT5]

snorky782 said:

ZombieT5 said:

The marriage was over, I was forced to leave and ended up at my parents in Leeds. After a while I begun dating...well, having a good time. Yes I was married, but separated and both looking to divorce.

She settled her new guy in not long after and I found my current partner. The marriage had been done for a while, we just didn't want to admit it.

No I didn't beat her or sleep around. I wasn't the best stepdad or husband, but I tried to do everything I could being the main parent, part time worker, full time student and part time photographer. It doesn't help that I suffer with manic depression and I don't think she knew how to handle it.

But whether you like it or not, you have committed adultery. However, the burden of proof for her is quite high, unless you admit it. Personally, I'd suggest you let her divorce you on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and be done with it. Unreasonable behaviour can be daft things like leaving the toilet seat up amd using the toothpaste from the middle and stupid little things like that nowadays.

You mention "stepdad" are these different kids to your daughter, or is your daughter, really your stepdaughter? You don't mention "not being the best dad", so just wondering,as it's highly likely you won't see your stepdaughter again unless she wants to maintain a relationship, if that's the only child in these discussions.

My daughter is my own, but my wife had a son prior to our coupling

[ZombieT5]

Sounds like I'm going ahead then.
There is no bitterness on my part, just confusion as to why my daughter has become a weapon.

That will be in hand shortly