The Armed Forces, an unwell serving member and duty of care.
Discussion
Hello.
I'm looking for help from anyone either in the forces and/or from a Doctor.
Although this post talks about medical problems it is mainly about the forces and legal issues surrounding duty of care.
This is a long post so sorry in advance.
A friend works for the forces and is currently based in the uk. She is separated with two children under 4 who live with her.
She has diagnosed depression, worsening two years ago after separation and on medication.
She was posted to a major city, which is away from friend and family support. It's a very long story but the highlights are:
At the new post, line manager was/is horrendous. In my opinion, a bully and very immature. My friend is a manager and she reports to this bully.
One of her children had/has a medical problem which put them in hospital 4 times in the last month which means my friend has had to take lots of time off work and is being put under pressure from work because of this.
Other issues include severe money worries, ex not helping at all, car troubles, house problems, etc. She had a chest infection, flu and other issues last month but had to keep going because of the children. She has other medical issues.
She has zero support where she lives. She has had to take a lot of time off for reasons above, as annual leave, sick leave and compassionate leave.
Her normal day is up at 5am and out the door with two small children at 6.45. Kids to nursey which is costing her a fortune and finally home at 6.30. Sort kids out, bed, sort house/tomorrow out and finally see bed by 10....and get up at 5 to do it again five days a week. The weekend seems to be just catching up and then do the week again.
She wants a medical geographical posting to be near family support so she can get better but they will not allow this.
The other option she could have would be preferential treatment post, which they are delaying and will not guarantee. This has been going on for 3+ months now.
She is at her wits end, exhausted and feels her only recourse is to leave. This would be a shame as she has been in 14 years, has worked through the ranks and used to enjoy her job.
The immediate problem is that the doctor that she has seen who works for the forces will not sign her off on medical grounds. The doctor agrees that she is exhausted but the fact that she 'gets up in the morning' shows, in the doctor's opinion, that she is coping even though she cried throughout the whole last appointment.
She has other medical signs of stress and depression but the doctor will not sign her off sick or agree to a medical geographical posting. This means she HAS to go to work and continue on the hamster wheel in a terrible exhausted state until something breaks which is very close.
If she does not go to work without being signed off then she is AWOL and will be arrested.
She is the sole carer for the children, so giving up is just not an option. If she does, children would have to go into care.
She feels that the doctor is acting completely unreasonable by not signing her off as sick.
She, and we, feel the doctor is failing in their duty of care.
She is completely stuck and is desperate for help. She doesn't want to PVR but feels she has no choice.
Any suggestions as to what to do next?
Thanks.
I'm looking for help from anyone either in the forces and/or from a Doctor.
Although this post talks about medical problems it is mainly about the forces and legal issues surrounding duty of care.
This is a long post so sorry in advance.
A friend works for the forces and is currently based in the uk. She is separated with two children under 4 who live with her.
She has diagnosed depression, worsening two years ago after separation and on medication.
She was posted to a major city, which is away from friend and family support. It's a very long story but the highlights are:
At the new post, line manager was/is horrendous. In my opinion, a bully and very immature. My friend is a manager and she reports to this bully.
One of her children had/has a medical problem which put them in hospital 4 times in the last month which means my friend has had to take lots of time off work and is being put under pressure from work because of this.
Other issues include severe money worries, ex not helping at all, car troubles, house problems, etc. She had a chest infection, flu and other issues last month but had to keep going because of the children. She has other medical issues.
She has zero support where she lives. She has had to take a lot of time off for reasons above, as annual leave, sick leave and compassionate leave.
Her normal day is up at 5am and out the door with two small children at 6.45. Kids to nursey which is costing her a fortune and finally home at 6.30. Sort kids out, bed, sort house/tomorrow out and finally see bed by 10....and get up at 5 to do it again five days a week. The weekend seems to be just catching up and then do the week again.
She wants a medical geographical posting to be near family support so she can get better but they will not allow this.
The other option she could have would be preferential treatment post, which they are delaying and will not guarantee. This has been going on for 3+ months now.
She is at her wits end, exhausted and feels her only recourse is to leave. This would be a shame as she has been in 14 years, has worked through the ranks and used to enjoy her job.
The immediate problem is that the doctor that she has seen who works for the forces will not sign her off on medical grounds. The doctor agrees that she is exhausted but the fact that she 'gets up in the morning' shows, in the doctor's opinion, that she is coping even though she cried throughout the whole last appointment.
She has other medical signs of stress and depression but the doctor will not sign her off sick or agree to a medical geographical posting. This means she HAS to go to work and continue on the hamster wheel in a terrible exhausted state until something breaks which is very close.
If she does not go to work without being signed off then she is AWOL and will be arrested.
She is the sole carer for the children, so giving up is just not an option. If she does, children would have to go into care.
She feels that the doctor is acting completely unreasonable by not signing her off as sick.
She, and we, feel the doctor is failing in their duty of care.
She is completely stuck and is desperate for help. She doesn't want to PVR but feels she has no choice.
Any suggestions as to what to do next?
Thanks.
She is registered to this current one and doesn't think she can change to a civilian one. Maybe someone in the forces could say a diffinitive yes or no....?
The father is meeting his commitment financially but is not really around to help. Sometimes he does help but mostly be cancels or says he is otherwise busy....
Thanks for the reply.
The father is meeting his commitment financially but is not really around to help. Sometimes he does help but mostly be cancels or says he is otherwise busy....
Thanks for the reply.
My friends says thanks, she really appreciates the time everyone spent replying in this thread, and to those who emailed me/her.
She has made the decision to come out asap. Family life and her children are much more important than this on going stress. Even if she moves closer to family and everything sorts itself out, in 6/12 months time she might have to go through it all again.
Thanks again. PH is full of wonderful people
She has made the decision to come out asap. Family life and her children are much more important than this on going stress. Even if she moves closer to family and everything sorts itself out, in 6/12 months time she might have to go through it all again.
Thanks again. PH is full of wonderful people
Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff