Giving up your freedom (a story of pain)
Discussion
You know when you have a new other half, there is a whirl of meeting family/friends etc? Well, as I have known the girl whom I have recently started seeing for 15 years, you would have thought that I would know most of the family. It seems not – and the past three weeks have been a constant round of family stuff; despite being her best friend for years, I have largely managed to avoid the family stuff so far. I can no longer do this.
A constant round of events has seen me schmoozing my way past aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. I have been to lunches, dinners, a christening. I have held babies, and I have charmed old ladies – and I am sick to the back teeth of it. So I raised the subject – and was (gently) told that this is the way her family is, and that I would get used to it.
So, dinner, last night. At an uncle’s house in Kensington. I had had a bad day at work, and was feeling rebellious – all I wanted was my garden, my boardshorts, my hammock and a Flashman book to potter through. After more small talk about, working in the City (he's an investment banker), I start acting up; several weeks of being paraded around the family has taken its toll by now, and I am past caring. And perhaps a little drunk.
Culmination? She throws me out of the car somewhere on the King’s Road. Apparently I was flirting with her (gorgeous) 20 year old cousin (I deny this - I am just naturally warm towards beautiful women; it's not as if I wish to sleep with them. Honest). And when accused of such behaviour, instead of showing contrition, I thought it was funny. ‘That’ll teach her to make me do the domesticated/family thing’ thought I as I sauntered down the King’s Road. Soon afterwards, it wasn’t so amusing; especially as I realised that phone, keys and wallet were in the passenger doorbin of her car.
Walked the god-knows-how-many miles to her house, woke her up, retrieved my paraphenalia with as much dignity as I could muster (not much, at this point) and stalked off into the night feeling distinctly like I had lost this round. Sometimes, a man has to make a stand. Ultimately, in this case, I suspect that I should have picked my battle a bit better...and remembered my bloody stuff.
Damn.
A constant round of events has seen me schmoozing my way past aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. I have been to lunches, dinners, a christening. I have held babies, and I have charmed old ladies – and I am sick to the back teeth of it. So I raised the subject – and was (gently) told that this is the way her family is, and that I would get used to it.
So, dinner, last night. At an uncle’s house in Kensington. I had had a bad day at work, and was feeling rebellious – all I wanted was my garden, my boardshorts, my hammock and a Flashman book to potter through. After more small talk about, working in the City (he's an investment banker), I start acting up; several weeks of being paraded around the family has taken its toll by now, and I am past caring. And perhaps a little drunk.
Culmination? She throws me out of the car somewhere on the King’s Road. Apparently I was flirting with her (gorgeous) 20 year old cousin (I deny this - I am just naturally warm towards beautiful women; it's not as if I wish to sleep with them. Honest). And when accused of such behaviour, instead of showing contrition, I thought it was funny. ‘That’ll teach her to make me do the domesticated/family thing’ thought I as I sauntered down the King’s Road. Soon afterwards, it wasn’t so amusing; especially as I realised that phone, keys and wallet were in the passenger doorbin of her car.
Walked the god-knows-how-many miles to her house, woke her up, retrieved my paraphenalia with as much dignity as I could muster (not much, at this point) and stalked off into the night feeling distinctly like I had lost this round. Sometimes, a man has to make a stand. Ultimately, in this case, I suspect that I should have picked my battle a bit better...and remembered my bloody stuff.
Damn.
Chaps. Let's clear something up; I am in no way interested in the cousin - I adore the g/f. I suspect the flirting was really just an attempt at paying her back for dragging me off to another family gathering. Just thought I'd post a story that may make you laugh. A man standing up for his principles, refusing to be tamed, fighting the good fight for all fellow men - and ultimately having to walk home across London at 2 in the morning.
ferrisbueller said:
Tell her that it hurts you, emotionally speaking, to be around her family. They are so loving and caring for each other that it makes you wish your family were all like that............ especially now they're all dead.
No woman worth her bunk up would drag you into the front line of family niceties with that nugget in her mind.
No woman worth her bunk up would drag you into the front line of family niceties with that nugget in her mind.
apologies if by some freak of the internet there is any truth in the above story, or indeed there has been an unfortunate recent passing
Sadly she knows my (perfectly functional) family very well indeed...
I’ve met the important family members before – don’t forget this girl has been my best friend for a long time. Her parents treat me as a son anyway (I’ve been on holiday with the family at their house in Spain on plenty of occasions), and I have met many of the uncles/aunts/cousins etc too. It’s just that suddenly I seem to be being paraded around as the boyfriend, which seems oddly important to her, bless. She’s no psycho/clingy/marriage obsessed wench – I know that for a fact as I’ve known her for so long…
I think what’s getting to me is the fact that everyone seems absurdly pleased about the whole thing, with comments like ‘we all knew’, and ‘well it’s about time’, and questions like ‘so tell me how it all happened, in full detail’. It’s positively sick-making. Hence my tiring of it now…
I think what’s getting to me is the fact that everyone seems absurdly pleased about the whole thing, with comments like ‘we all knew’, and ‘well it’s about time’, and questions like ‘so tell me how it all happened, in full detail’. It’s positively sick-making. Hence my tiring of it now…
Haha - nubile young girl I 'was in love with' (
) has just moved departments - and from the end of August I shall be her boss! Someone up there is laughing at me, I swear.
Regarding being kicked out of the car, I believe that I may have been being a little obnoxious. Possibly. And she didn't know my stuff was still in the car as I was left by the kerb, in a rather safe part of London. And was mortified when she found out that I had just had to walk back to Clapham (allowing me to take some moral high ground - result!)
Her cousin's Bristols are, in my professional opinion, a 34B, nerv.
Tonker - and I though I was cynical...
) has just moved departments - and from the end of August I shall be her boss! Someone up there is laughing at me, I swear. Regarding being kicked out of the car, I believe that I may have been being a little obnoxious. Possibly. And she didn't know my stuff was still in the car as I was left by the kerb, in a rather safe part of London. And was mortified when she found out that I had just had to walk back to Clapham (allowing me to take some moral high ground - result!)
Her cousin's Bristols are, in my professional opinion, a 34B, nerv.
Tonker - and I though I was cynical...
AndyB_WRX said:
Nick P said:
Flash,
just be done with the fact that you are a shadow of your former philandering self.
The sooner you stop struggling, the sooner the pain will be over.
I suspect your life will take a similar course to mine, you will soon be changing size 2 shitty pampers, looking back on wedding photos with a sad fondness, seeing your mates less and less, and wearing brown socks
face it.......your
ed
just be done with the fact that you are a shadow of your former philandering self.
The sooner you stop struggling, the sooner the pain will be over.
I suspect your life will take a similar course to mine, you will soon be changing size 2 shitty pampers, looking back on wedding photos with a sad fondness, seeing your mates less and less, and wearing brown socks
face it.......your
ed
Hes not going to give in without a fightDamned right.
First battle in the campaign may have been lost last night, but I'm regrouping. Tally-ho!
Dakkon said:
Harry Flashman said:
Jinx said:
Back on topic - Flashy; was your flirting symptopic of you new found jadedness for being a trophy boyfriend?
If you knew me you'd realise that I'm not a trophy anything - hardly the best looking man in the world. Her last boyfriend looked like Heath Ledger. I...don't.
True, but obviously some women like short, fat, bald blokes
And thank the Lord for that!
hang on a minute...
ProPlus said:
Harry Flashman said:
Haha - nubile young girl I 'was in love with' () has just moved departments - and from the end of August I shall be her boss! Someone up there is laughing at me, I swear.
Regarding being kicked out of the car, I believe that I may have been being a little obnoxious. Possibly. And she didn't know my stuff was still in the car as I was left by the kerb, in a rather safe part of London. And was mortified when she found out that I had just had to walk back to Clapham (allowing me to take some moral high ground - result!)
Her cousin's Bristols are, in my professional opinion, a 34B, nerv.
Tonker - and I though I was cynical...
) has just moved departments - and from the end of August I shall be her boss! Someone up there is laughing at me, I swear. Regarding being kicked out of the car, I believe that I may have been being a little obnoxious. Possibly. And she didn't know my stuff was still in the car as I was left by the kerb, in a rather safe part of London. And was mortified when she found out that I had just had to walk back to Clapham (allowing me to take some moral high ground - result!)
Her cousin's Bristols are, in my professional opinion, a 34B, nerv.
Tonker - and I though I was cynical...
You live in Clapham??
She does...why?
I am in Clapham all the time, as a chunk of my friends live there. Let me know next time you're having a pint. Recommend The Windmill on the Common for nice evenings. You can follow up an evening there by pestering girls and refusing to take no for an answer, a tradition for male Claphamites. Wear your collar turned up, mind.
ProPlus said:
Harry Flashman said:
I am in Clapham all the time, as a chunk of my friends live there. Let me know next time you're having a pint. Recommend The Windmill on the Common for nice evenings. You can follow up an evening there by pestering girls and refusing to take no for an answer, a tradition for male Claphamites. Wear your collar turned up, mind.
Sure no probs, we venture up to the common side every now and again, usually when the beer takes over and we want a trip to the meat market (Inferno) :goesandgrabscoattogettaxi:.
Mostly it Junction side pestering the women on Northcote lane before retiring to B@1 or Freda b..... to pester more.
My beloved lives just off the Northcote Road. Are you the dribbling deviant that leered at her and then tried to follow her home last week? Apart from me, of course.
cossie. said:
Harry Flashman said:
Apparently I was flirting with her (gorgeous) 20 year old cousin (I deny this
then Harry Flashman said:
Shouldn't have flirted with the cousin, mind, but she flirted back - what's a chap to do? Rude to be cold & dismissive...
Men...you can't trust a single word they say!
SO true. I deny this, but in my heart I know I flirt with any lady over a certain attractyiveness level who a) isn't related to me and b) doesn't hit me.
grass widow said:
Why do you always post these on the days I'm out all day and miss it?
For what its worth, if she is showing you off to distant relatives, then I think wedding bells could be hinted at in the not too distant future. Got your running shoes handy??
For what its worth, if she is showing you off to distant relatives, then I think wedding bells could be hinted at in the not too distant future. Got your running shoes handy??
Running shoes – check
Brazilian visa – check
Fake identity – check
All good over here at Flashman Towers.
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