Dating websites, rubbish wenches, and the vanity of men
Discussion
I was perusing the merchandise on a dating website yesterday. Now, there is a reason for this as well as the obvious one of keeping myself up to date on the state of the local market. I had to write a reference for a friend – after a series of rubbish boyfriends met in the usual ways (friends, bars, dinner parties etc), she has decided to try the net. And the site involves being recommended by a friend, who puts together a reference and profile, to which the member can post a short reply.
First point – women, if you are going to get a friend to recommend you, make it a bloke. The men on the site had a pretty even mix of recommendations by men and women. Both women and men seemed pretty honest and candid about the single men. The women were almost overwhelmingly recommended by other women – and to read most of these recommendations, you would have believed that every single woman on the site was a goddess. There is one thing that you girls need to know – when your girl friend is talking about your attributes, and we haven’t met you, we will not believe her. This is because all women lie about their single female friends – if you asked any women what their single mates are like, a chap always comes away with the impression that said friends are all on the books of Elite Models. Stop it. It is, like the Wonderbra, false advertising, and likely to result in disappointment. Your duty is to provide us with hotties, not get your swamp donkey mates a date with us by lying horribly. Fat does not equal ‘curvy’, and buck-toothed with frizzy hair does not mean ‘really attractive’.)
Anyway, the other half, housemate and I (all very cosy, natch) were having a look at what was on offer. And, shock horror – there were lots and lots of good-looking, eligible men (according to the girls) and comparatively few attractive (from photo, anyway) women. I counted 3 that I would have put on my shortlist in 19 pages.
But the reason for this soon became pretty clear. Most of the girls had photos just randomly snapped on a night out. Whereas the majority of the blokes had posed, and obviously taken quite a lot of care in selecting their photos. There were a lot more black and white shots from the men than from the women. I mean, there was some serious ‘blue steel’ going on in some of these photos. The men had, very obviously, spent a lot of time getting exactly the right shot – probably hours with the digital camera.
There you have it chaps. We are the vainer sex these days. A decade of Clinique For Men, metrosexuality and Jamie Oliver has basically turned us into a bunch of great big girls. I am guilty of this myself, with my likings for interior design and elaborate cookery (and an elaborate moisturising routine involving the tears of kittens and milk of the Himalayan Yak, but we won’t go into that). Not to mention my gayer-than-a-gay-thing car. Tonight, I am going to go home, eat some raw steak, drink some Stella and beat the girlfriend, just to get some balance back into the gender karma out there. I do this for all men. I may even buy another TVR.
First point – women, if you are going to get a friend to recommend you, make it a bloke. The men on the site had a pretty even mix of recommendations by men and women. Both women and men seemed pretty honest and candid about the single men. The women were almost overwhelmingly recommended by other women – and to read most of these recommendations, you would have believed that every single woman on the site was a goddess. There is one thing that you girls need to know – when your girl friend is talking about your attributes, and we haven’t met you, we will not believe her. This is because all women lie about their single female friends – if you asked any women what their single mates are like, a chap always comes away with the impression that said friends are all on the books of Elite Models. Stop it. It is, like the Wonderbra, false advertising, and likely to result in disappointment. Your duty is to provide us with hotties, not get your swamp donkey mates a date with us by lying horribly. Fat does not equal ‘curvy’, and buck-toothed with frizzy hair does not mean ‘really attractive’.)
Anyway, the other half, housemate and I (all very cosy, natch) were having a look at what was on offer. And, shock horror – there were lots and lots of good-looking, eligible men (according to the girls) and comparatively few attractive (from photo, anyway) women. I counted 3 that I would have put on my shortlist in 19 pages.
But the reason for this soon became pretty clear. Most of the girls had photos just randomly snapped on a night out. Whereas the majority of the blokes had posed, and obviously taken quite a lot of care in selecting their photos. There were a lot more black and white shots from the men than from the women. I mean, there was some serious ‘blue steel’ going on in some of these photos. The men had, very obviously, spent a lot of time getting exactly the right shot – probably hours with the digital camera.
There you have it chaps. We are the vainer sex these days. A decade of Clinique For Men, metrosexuality and Jamie Oliver has basically turned us into a bunch of great big girls. I am guilty of this myself, with my likings for interior design and elaborate cookery (and an elaborate moisturising routine involving the tears of kittens and milk of the Himalayan Yak, but we won’t go into that). Not to mention my gayer-than-a-gay-thing car. Tonight, I am going to go home, eat some raw steak, drink some Stella and beat the girlfriend, just to get some balance back into the gender karma out there. I do this for all men. I may even buy another TVR.
It's the blokes that got to me though Tony! The women may not have been stunners, but there were quite a few attractive ones whocx just clearly hadn't bothered with trying to get a decent photo up. Fair enough, even if it means shooting oneself in the foot a little.
No, it was the blokes that worried me. I have rarely seen such pouting and soulful looking at the camera from men who had obviously taken hours selecting just the right shot. I mean, what a bunch of complete gayers.
And, it doesn't work you know. The two girls I was with were literally crying with laughter at some of the cheeser blokes who had profiles up...even the handsome ones were dismissed out of hand for being too cringeworthy for words.
No, it was the blokes that worried me. I have rarely seen such pouting and soulful looking at the camera from men who had obviously taken hours selecting just the right shot. I mean, what a bunch of complete gayers.
And, it doesn't work you know. The two girls I was with were literally crying with laughter at some of the cheeser blokes who had profiles up...even the handsome ones were dismissed out of hand for being too cringeworthy for words.
stovey said:
If these guys are such great catches why are they having to resort to internet dating in the first place?
Not actually a valid point – iDatingTM is no longer the preserve of the desperate. My friend Sophie, who I wrote the profile for, is an attractive, stylish and successful woman. She’s sexy too – I have been there myself on quite a few occasions in the past, and I don’t do mooses (unless I’m drunk, when I may have, er, made some errors of judgement in the past).
john_r said:
Harry Flashman said:
stovey said:
If these guys are such great catches why are they having to resort to internet dating in the first place?
Not actually a valid point – iDatingTM is no longer the preserve of the desperate. My friend Sophie, who I wrote the profile for, is an attractive, stylish and successful woman. She’s sexy too – I have been there myself on quite a few occasions in the past, and I don’t do mooses (unless I’m drunk, when I may have, er, made some errors of judgement in the past).
Did you write in the reference - "I've shagged her loads, but she's not quite good enough for me" or is she a total arm loser?
:lmao:
Never really thought of her in that way, but she was a good bonk to pass rainy evenings with when both single. Not someone I would fall for though – never had that ‘chemistry’. Far from an arm loser, bless her.
paulie-mafia said:
Hmmm, I've been thinking about interweb dating myself. I had a poke round that site Harry's on about and tbh there were too many things that set my bunny boiler alarm off. Firstly, pretty much every girl I looked at was really, really fit.
?????
You need to stop drinking, chap!
Timberwolf - insanely funny, and gets A :ROFL:
But a touch of the cynic/recently burned there...?
Feeling a bit sorry regarding the abuse Charlie’s getting, by the way; not sure that ridiculing someone’s entry on a dating website is fair game chaps. Tonker’s rather harsh comments were needlessly cruel. Somewhat reminiscent of a fat man who’s found love and can now sneer at others.
She could still leave you Tonks. For me.
But a touch of the cynic/recently burned there...?
Feeling a bit sorry regarding the abuse Charlie’s getting, by the way; not sure that ridiculing someone’s entry on a dating website is fair game chaps. Tonker’s rather harsh comments were needlessly cruel. Somewhat reminiscent of a fat man who’s found love and can now sneer at others.
She could still leave you Tonks. For me.
vixpy1 said:
graham@edinburgh said:
paulie-mafia said:
I'm astounded!
How do you fit a fully grown man in the back of a 911?!
That's the crucial fact missing off his profile.
He's 2'3"
Thats verysideways 911, and thats how i was seated all the time!
So.. no, you can;t fit a grown man in the back of a 911 993
I had to endure a trip up from Newquay in the back of a 993. I’m quite short at 5’9”, and was stretched across both seats, and it was still hell.
I’m still interested as to whether people think that the women on mysinglefriend.com are particularly good looking…if so, hate to see what horror shows infest other sites…
paulie-mafia said:
Harry Flashman said:
vixpy1 said:
The Surrey bucks and hants women are mostly fit, much better quality than other sites
Ah. I'm in London - I thought they were pretty average...
I did a London search and I was quite impressed. 21-30 age range mind you. And I had elft my glasses at home that day....
Same parameters as me, then. I'd suggest laying off the sauce Paulie!
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