Discussion
I just learned that an old friend of mine topped himself last week.
Guy was 29, I went to school with him. He was married with a 3-year old and a 3-month old. He was due to be best-man for another old school friend of mine in weeks time and it was the groom who found him. He'd left notes for his wife and the guy who's getting married. He'd also ordered a big grocery shop from the asda website which was delivered the day after he killed himself.
Nobody apparently had any clue he was going to do it but he obviously had planned it all in some detail and well in advance. Unbelievable. What could drive somebody to that? No apparent personal difficulties according his close family - they're all stumped.
Guy was 29, I went to school with him. He was married with a 3-year old and a 3-month old. He was due to be best-man for another old school friend of mine in weeks time and it was the groom who found him. He'd left notes for his wife and the guy who's getting married. He'd also ordered a big grocery shop from the asda website which was delivered the day after he killed himself.
Nobody apparently had any clue he was going to do it but he obviously had planned it all in some detail and well in advance. Unbelievable. What could drive somebody to that? No apparent personal difficulties according his close family - they're all stumped.
The statistics are frightening eh? I've never really considered it, only occasionally wondered what it would be like.
I think it's the apparently cold and calm way he went about that has freaked me out the most. He'd obviously made up his mind it was the right thing to do. It's so sad.
I just looked at his bebo page and there are very recent pictures of him with his lovely kids, it's just awful.
I think it's the apparently cold and calm way he went about that has freaked me out the most. He'd obviously made up his mind it was the right thing to do. It's so sad.
I just looked at his bebo page and there are very recent pictures of him with his lovely kids, it's just awful.
Edited by jollygreen on Thursday 24th July 12:12
I'm lucky in that I've never had the urge to try it myself. My brother-in-law had a half-arsed attempt a few years ago but couldn't go through with it. Shallow cuts on his wrist were the only physical scars and they healed quickly.
I think being a Dad now has made me even more confused as to why my mate did it with two young kids.
I think being a Dad now has made me even more confused as to why my mate did it with two young kids.
Allblackdup said:
Very sad news from the OP.
There's a thread about this in the South Wales section, but i checked the BBC news this morning and was shocked to see why one of the main roads i use every morning was closed in one direction.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/752481...
Earlier on the report said a man had thrown himself in front of a Royal Mail Van. Very shocking, very sad.
It's a thoughtless fThere's a thread about this in the South Wales section, but i checked the BBC news this morning and was shocked to see why one of the main roads i use every morning was closed in one direction.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/752481...
Earlier on the report said a man had thrown himself in front of a Royal Mail Van. Very shocking, very sad.
king thing to do to somebody - throw yourself in front of their train/car/bus as a way to end your own life.patmahe said:
I agree with the above - people who decide (or even seriously consider) killing themselves dont tell anyone because they are afraid someone might talk them out of it, when they've already decided its what they want.
The one's who make a big song and dance about it are generally just looking for attention. Maybe not always the case but I'd wager this is correct in 90% of cases.
I suspect this is exactly what happened to the guy in my original post. Very sad.The one's who make a big song and dance about it are generally just looking for attention. Maybe not always the case but I'd wager this is correct in 90% of cases.
outlaw biker said:
An elderly woman I know was woken at 4am one morning by a noise. She thought nothing of it and went straight back to sleep. The next morning she found her long term partner had got out of bed in the middle of the night, walked down to the garage and blown his head off with a shotgun.
No warning. No signs that she noticed. He left a note saying sorry but he couldnt cope with money worries any longer. But afterwards when she was sorting out the finances it turned out they had no financial problems.
The Police took away the body. That was pretty much all they did. They left the cleaning up to her to sort out. Its apparently surprising and shocking just how much mess blowing your entire head clean off with a shotgun can make. I also knew the guy she asked to clean the garage. He spent an entire weekend picking fragments of brain and tissue off the walls, out of all the nooks and crannies, off the tools, and mopping up all the blood.
He had nightmares for a long time after that. She has never been able to sleep upstairs again nearly five years later, and still feels incredibly guilty to this day for not having seen that something was wrong. Perhaps thats justifiable? I don't know.
My own personal experience of this type of thing is that my ex ex used to phone me up almost every night for a year and a half after we split up threatening to commit suicide. I used to spend hours on the phone trying to calm her down and convince her to get proffessional help...all to no avail. Sometimes she'd be so drunk or hysterical it was impossible to tell what she was saying other than the odd "I want you to be with me when I go" and things like that. It eventually stopped when I texted her sister at 3am one Saturday night after another of these phonecalls and told her what was going on. After that she never did it again. She gave me a load of abuse for it. But never did it again.
No warning. No signs that she noticed. He left a note saying sorry but he couldnt cope with money worries any longer. But afterwards when she was sorting out the finances it turned out they had no financial problems.
The Police took away the body. That was pretty much all they did. They left the cleaning up to her to sort out. Its apparently surprising and shocking just how much mess blowing your entire head clean off with a shotgun can make. I also knew the guy she asked to clean the garage. He spent an entire weekend picking fragments of brain and tissue off the walls, out of all the nooks and crannies, off the tools, and mopping up all the blood.
He had nightmares for a long time after that. She has never been able to sleep upstairs again nearly five years later, and still feels incredibly guilty to this day for not having seen that something was wrong. Perhaps thats justifiable? I don't know.
My own personal experience of this type of thing is that my ex ex used to phone me up almost every night for a year and a half after we split up threatening to commit suicide. I used to spend hours on the phone trying to calm her down and convince her to get proffessional help...all to no avail. Sometimes she'd be so drunk or hysterical it was impossible to tell what she was saying other than the odd "I want you to be with me when I go" and things like that. It eventually stopped when I texted her sister at 3am one Saturday night after another of these phonecalls and told her what was going on. After that she never did it again. She gave me a load of abuse for it. But never did it again.
I saw the aftermath of a guy who went into my local gunsmiths, asked to try a shotgun for fit, slipped a cartridge from his pocket into the gun, put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger while the owner had his back turned.
Shop was closed for almost a week whilst being cleaned
ypauly said:
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