Difficult review

[CookieCook]

All a bit cloak and dagger posting under an anon. name but last thing I want is for my boss or "subordinate" to get wind!

I have to undertake a review with a member of my team. It's a small team of 4 including me as their manager. 2 of them are hard working, get on with the job, have a bit of a laugh when we can and generally enjoy what they are doing. The 3rd person doesnt. They do their job fine but take great offense if anyone says something even remotely detrimental. We're talking really minor things that most people wouldnt even take notice of. To them its a case of having to speak to me "on record" about it. Got to the point last time where I just told them I didnt think what was said was offensive and that they were being overly sensitive. I've also noticed they keep a diary of everything said or done by me and one of their co-workers. We have a weekly team meeting over a coffee and review the week where normally they just keep quiet, However I've been told by one of my team that this 3rd person then spends 10 minutes moaning about me and how they are spoken to and treated which is pretty much the same as everyone else!

Review time is looking and this 3rd person has made great noise about it. Silly comments like "hope theres enough room on the form for what I've got to say" etc etc

TBH if this 3rd person decided to look for another job I dont think anyone would mind but they can do the job quite well. It's just they are hard work, quite needy and like constant praise. Not something that fits in to their working environment which is pressurised and fast paced.

Quite frankly in my position I dont have time for it, if I wasnt working for such a big company I'd probably just tell them to find another job but thats not the done thing.

So, after a lot of waffle the question is how to approach this at their review. My manager knows the situation and has said they dont want to be involved because they would probably tell 3 to ps off. I want to approach the subject before 3 does and have some answers for them. They love trying to look important in the team and "get one up" on me in front of 1 & 2 and anyone else they can. Something 1 & 2 realise and comment on.

Any advise or comment?

[CookieCook]

First, thanks for everyones replies, appreciate the time you took and even if I dont like to hear some of the comments they're probably right! And, no, I havent had any formal management training but have managed numerous teams from 5-80 people in different industries. Admittedly in what are normally project based, using contractors under very pressurised conditions with little scope for hand holding, coaching or moral support. Case of get in, get on and get out and if you cant do it your in the wrong place. This is the first time I am managing teams who are employees and I recognise I need to tone it down and take a different approach,

Anyway, yesterday I spent a few minutes working with 3 on a couple of bits (normally everyone is autonomous) and referred back to some of the things they'd said a few days ago. Acknowledged one of their ideas and followed it up.

Gave them some positive feedback on a couple of points and defended them when they were put in the firing line by my manager for a mistake they had made but only when under a lot of pressure. And (as suggested) when someone said something in an email they didnt like I told them I didnt see it as a problem and they should just ignore it.

They were definitely a lot more positive and this week in particular circumstances will mean I will be working more closely with them.

So, we'll see how it goes this week and I'll put the review off for a bit.