Requested HR intervention regarding bullying but now...

[Tensioner]

I believe I have been the victim of bullying in the workplace.

I raised this with one of the HR team, and explained my position, and requested HR intervention to resolve the matter.

Following my discussion with the HR team member, I was led to believe that we would have a formal discussion with a senior HR person present to resolve any 'misunderstandings'.

However, nearly a week later I have just been handed a letter stating that I am to attend a disciplinary hearing on Thursday.

The letter states that the allegations to be discussed are my attitude and behaviour towards two senior colleagues, and my refusal to carry out a direct request.

The bullying I was subjected to was instigated in the first instance by a director who had instructed me to do something and a discussion ensued as to different approaches to the issue, as I disagreed with his propsed method - during this discussion, a second director joined in and was effectively cajoled by the first and then the pair began bullying me.

At this point I expressed concerns about bullying and that I no longer wanted to continue the discussion.

I'm a bit surprised that my initial complaint has suddenly morphed into a disciplinary hearing against me.

Do I have to accept this, given that I was the one who raised the issue of bullying with HR in the first place?

TIA.

[Tensioner]

bhstewie said:

I guess it depends what you feel constitutes "bullying" behaviour?

How about when you are trying to have a civil discussion, and the person concerned is repeating over and over again what they want and how they want it (at the same time treating me in a dismissive manner), and saying things like "xxxx agrees - he also thinks you should...." when xxxx is standing there passively (he's very passive and doesn't appear to have a lot of say).

That's probably not conveying the scenario very well, I guess you would have to have been there to see what I mean, with regard to body language and the tone taken etc.

I am not even a juniour staff member, and been told previouisly that I am held in high regard. Good performance reviews etc.

[Tensioner]

Foliage said:

Did you refuse? Has the end result that you were asked for been completed by you?

Yes I did, because of the bully approach, and that I felt that level heads had gone out of the window and perhaps people would see things differently the next day.

The following day I did put together a polite email explaining my position and expressed a desire to discuss further - but when I approached said director I was told 'it's not up for discussion' - and 'to just leave it for now'. Armed with the knowledge that I had already approached HR, I left things as they were.

Foliage said:

As for the bullying put it in writing and follow your companies grievance procedure if you haven't already done so.

I had thought that a disucssion with HR would suffice for this - but obviously this is my next step.

Foliage said:

In your interview say as little as possible, don't rant, make sure everything you say emphasises that you have the best interest of the company, its compliance and profits at its heart.

This is exactly how I tried to convey my thoughts to the directors, as I do indeed have concerns over money (and yes I know this shouldn't be [and isn't] my problem) - however when the project I'm undertaking is downsizing because we are not performing so well, I believe that my concerns are well founded.

Edited by Tensioner on Monday 18th May 16:26

[Tensioner]

Magic919 said:

HR aren't really there to help you, sadly. What kind of outcome were you expecting? Did you raise a grievance?

I expect to be treated fairly. I had no further expectations than that.

At this stage I believe I am standing in front of a loaded gun.

Dr Jekyll said:

HR is there to support the senior person against the junior and maintain the fiction that the organisation as a whole can do nothing wrong.

Based on my experience thus far, I do believe you may be right.

Foliage said:

Now isn't the time for revenge, now is the time for positioning and damage limitation, revenge comes later

It's not even about revenge for me - I just feel quite strongly that my position is correct - and I was hoping to get an unbiased view by having somebody from HR listen to 'my side'.

ETA: fixed spelling.

Edited by Tensioner on Monday 18th May 16:40

[Tensioner]

SpeckledJim said:

<snip>
Sounds like the Director doesn't want to be told how to do stuff, he just wants it done. His way.
<snip>

That pretty much sums him up.

Nezquick said:

Playing devils advocate, is this not a case of you simply spitting your dummy out a bit as you were overruled by more senior staff members?

No, I'm not that kind of person. There has been a history of events here (which I can't go in to here) and this is just another chapter.

Nezquick said:

Why did you not just do as was asked and then give it the big "I told you so" once it all went wrong?

It's not that kind of scenario. It's just down to cost. (3 figure sum vs £0 to do it my way)

Nezquick said:

Looking at this from the outside, were you really "bullied"? I'd say probably not if you've not actually done what was asked of you.

I was bullied when I challenged his decision. Remember that in the first instance I was given 'carte blanche' with this project (as I have in all previous projercts - and no mistakes made - no regrets by any party) so I have a clean slate. I guess he was just having a bad day.

Nezquick said:

I'm not trying to wind you up or goad you, just trying to gauge what's gone on to make you feel like you've been bullied.

Not at all. No worries. I'm just telling it like it is.

ETA: fixed spelling again.

Edited by Tensioner on Monday 18th May 16:42

[Tensioner]

toasty said:

<snip>
Sounds like you played a losing hand and are now getting stroppy about it. Suck it up and apologise (even if you were right) or quit, you've nothing to gain here but more pain and anguish.

lol - not getting stroppy at all. I was just seeking advice on how to handle was has turned into a delicate situation.

bhstewie said:

I think what people are trying to get at is what is the "bullying" behaviour here?
<snip>

I'm finding it difficult to convey the situation - it's not exactly a 'he said' 'I said' scenario.

It's the way he expressed himself, and how he hadnled the situation.

I'm sorry I can't convey it any better.

[Tensioner]

I guess bullying is a subjective thing.

And sometimes you have to witness the situation to get a full grasp of it.

I know I'm on a road to a loser here, but I will go ahead with the hearing anyway.

Finally - this thread has drifted somewaht from the original topic - as the original topic was that I had made a formal request to HR to air a grievance about bullying, and then the next thing I know I have a disciplinary hearing.

The thread has morphed into deciding if I was bullied or not, rather than receiving any comment about the 'about turn' form HR regarding my complaint, which I thought was unorthodox.

In any case - I will report back on Thursday following my hearing, but I'm not holding my breath for a favourable (for me) outcome!

hajaba123 said:

Bullying is awful and shouldn't happen.

This doesn't sound like bullying although there is lots of info missing.

What's your industry? What's your role? Are you just throwing your toys out of your cot?

Industry is IT, role is 3rd line support (and more). Nope, not throwing my toys out of my cot, that's not my style.

Regarding any missing info - it's not in anybody's interest to provide a blow by blow account of events (at this stage anyway) - and as stated above - the thread did ultimately wander straight off topic almost immediately.

Given that the business is shrinking and not performing so well - perhaps this is just a suitable excuse to reduce the headcount.

Edited by Tensioner on Tuesday 19th May 10:40

[Tensioner]

TankRizzo said:

Probably a long-termer's throwaway account which he'll never check again.

Bingo.

Loving some of the comments here too.

But as requested - back to post the result.

I have been issued with a written warning.

I feel that the entire process was handled unprofessionally from start to finish (the HR person is wife of the director concerned) also - because of this - an external HR consultant was brought in for the hearing - however she discussed my case with another director *in front* of a colleague, which I regard as grossly unprofessional.

But it is what is.

Hey ho and all that!

/me awaits another 4 pages of telling me how wrong I am etc. blah blah ;-)

[Tensioner]

bhstewie said:

Honestly I know this isn't how it should work, but when going to the HR director, who it now transpires is the wife of the director you have a grievance with (small business by any chance?) to report him for bullying you, didn't you at any point along the walk think to yourself "Hold on a moment, this may not be such a great idea?"

It's a small business.

I expected to be treated impartially (a rash assumption maybe but hey...) - following the initial discussion I had no reason to believe otherwise.

But everything changed over the course of the following days.

What else could I have done under the circumstances?

[Tensioner]

Pesty said:

imo.

nothing. chalked it up to experience. the way you describe the events it just sounds like a minor disagreement and a director getting annoyed that an employee wouldn't do what he was asked however honorable your intentions.

when director asks, you do. you give alternative and ideas but they decide the course and you take it.

As for hr being married to the director well don't take this the wrong way but i thought you were naive before we found out it was his wife.

you are obviously an intelligent bloke and you don't sound young so i really don't understand how you thought it would go any differently. now you have a warning and a reputation in the firm.

seriously a married couple in position of power will have their own names for you now and they wont be nice ones.

id honestly be looking for another job if i were you. (based on the info provided obviously you know more)

Minor disagreement? Yes.
Naive? Probably!
Intelligent? I prefer to let others be the judge of that lol.
"don't sound young" - yep, mid 50's.
I've been in the job just over a year, and it's been ok for the most part, but yes, this incident has led to me looking around now.