Bands - worth the effort?
Discussion
Ok, time for a vent.
Been in a band for years, and due to some serious duplicity on the part of other members, myself and one band member have formed another one band. Chance of a gig comes up, so I bring it up. New singer mentions that she is worried that we wouldn't be ready as we are fairly new, I point out that we have enough songs and a few practice sessions to polish them up so we will definitely be good to go. Rest of the band is up for it, no more mentioned, seems a goer.
Now we get an arsey message saying how she made it clear that she didn't want to do the gig and gave up mentioning that because no one seemed to be listening (it was mentioned just the one time). Also, I've made her life awkward because her sister is heavily pregnant and she is supposed to be looking after her that weekend. How I was supposed to know that when it wasn't mentioned I have no idea.
Frustrating as I always make myself available for gigs, even to the point of cancelling other plans (within reason). Partly because I don't like letting people down, partly because practising is expensive, and partly because, well, you know, it's the reason why I am in a f
king band in the first fking place. Paid gig = make yourself available unless impossible. Now I have one band member that can't gig at all in July as he is having a birthday party at some point during the month and doesn't know when, and another who has already said there'll be no gigs in the whole of October so she can get ready for her wedding. £40 every fking week on a practice room, and for what exactly?
Two bands in a row with a pain in the arse 'front person'. I find myself missing the days of 4 guys having a laugh and being mates as much as a band. I actually prefer female singers to male singers but never had any problems with male band members. Probably just a coincidence mind.
Anyone else feel that their band isn't worth the effort sometimes? I feel like just packing it in and being a 'bedroom guitarist', but as I'm a guitar teacher, I really need to be gigging I feel.
As an aside, anyone in South Wales want to start a band?!
Been in a band for years, and due to some serious duplicity on the part of other members, myself and one band member have formed another one band. Chance of a gig comes up, so I bring it up. New singer mentions that she is worried that we wouldn't be ready as we are fairly new, I point out that we have enough songs and a few practice sessions to polish them up so we will definitely be good to go. Rest of the band is up for it, no more mentioned, seems a goer.
Now we get an arsey message saying how she made it clear that she didn't want to do the gig and gave up mentioning that because no one seemed to be listening (it was mentioned just the one time). Also, I've made her life awkward because her sister is heavily pregnant and she is supposed to be looking after her that weekend. How I was supposed to know that when it wasn't mentioned I have no idea.
Frustrating as I always make myself available for gigs, even to the point of cancelling other plans (within reason). Partly because I don't like letting people down, partly because practising is expensive, and partly because, well, you know, it's the reason why I am in a f
king band in the first fking place. Paid gig = make yourself available unless impossible. Now I have one band member that can't gig at all in July as he is having a birthday party at some point during the month and doesn't know when, and another who has already said there'll be no gigs in the whole of October so she can get ready for her wedding. £40 every fking week on a practice room, and for what exactly?Two bands in a row with a pain in the arse 'front person'. I find myself missing the days of 4 guys having a laugh and being mates as much as a band. I actually prefer female singers to male singers but never had any problems with male band members. Probably just a coincidence mind.
Anyone else feel that their band isn't worth the effort sometimes? I feel like just packing it in and being a 'bedroom guitarist', but as I'm a guitar teacher, I really need to be gigging I feel.
As an aside, anyone in South Wales want to start a band?!
Edited by scrubchub on Wednesday 17th June 00:32
It is a little surprising to see the number of other guys who have similar feelings to me about it. I have spoken to the singer involved, and of course she has managed to get her own way. Gig isn't a goer. Drummer in the band not best pleased, same as me. I'll make it clear what the situation needs to be in the future though - we all have to make ourselves available for gigs or I won't be hanging around. Spending more money on practice sessions than we earn on gigging is not acceptable. What people don't seem to appreciate is that when a good, paying gig is turned down, then that person is preventing 3 other people from earning money that evening, and babysitting your pregnant sister (or, sitting on the sofa watching a film and having a takeaway) isn't a good enough reason to turn something down. Christ, I had family plans that weekend but it didn't occur to me for a second that they should take priority.
I'm particularly on a downer at the moment die to current experiences with another band. Long story, but I'm in the mood for a vent, so no offence taken if you don't want to read on!
Been in this band for years and known the drummer since school (we used to sit next to each other in geography in 6th form). Had a bassist who's been with us for the best part of a decade. A few years ago, a female singer joins the band. Decent singer, she can really belt it out, but not the best at hitting the notes. When I've watched some videos of us, she is clearly the weak link. A few months ago we did some blues with a saxophonist taking a few solos. The singer kept on starting the next verse at the turnaround, which sounded awful, ruined the saxophone solo, and is quite frankly, pretty god damn amateurish.
Anyway, not long after joining us, she started another band. No problem with that. They were doing different stuff to us anyway, and she can do whatever she wants in her own time. She can't find a drummer, so my long term drummer plays with them and this turns out to be permanent. Fine, as I wouldn't want to do the songs they were doing (punked up versions of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga - no thanks). Plus, I don't want to spend more time with her than necessary, as she is nothing short of completely fking mental. Plenty of instances of this, that I won't go into as a long story becomes ever longer!
Over time, we notice that their set is getting ever closer to ours (they leave set lists in the PA case), until it gets to the point that they are basically the same band as us. Still no real problem with us (though I don't see the appeal in being in 2 identical bands, i'd rather put the extra effort into getting good with 1 personally).
Soon, drummer and singer are 'invovled' and then engaged. All gigs are going to the other band. On one occasion, my bassist fills in for them at short notice and he is incredulous at the level of the guitarist, who can hardly play. Says he'll never do it again, which he hasn't. Last year, we get a gig in a place we've played before. My bassist can't do it, so the others jump in and do the gig with their other band. I bring this up, saying this is wrong, I'm free to do the gig, so just ditching me is seriously poor form, especially as the venue asked for our band specifically, and in a similar situation last year, the bassist for my band filled in to the show with their other band. Time to start looking for another band.
The straw that broke the camels back for me completely now - Earlier in the year, I get in touch with my local pub, which also happens to be our favourite (and best paying) venue, asking if they've got any gigs. Manager says he has spoken to the singer and we are booked in. I think this is strange, get in touch with singer, no answer. Then it clicks. I go on their website, and sure enough they have got gigs there. They have 2 gigs booked in, so at least they could have given 1 to each. Then it occurs to me further that the manager at the pub thought that we were booked in. I check with him, and sure enough, this absolute cow has booked her band into our favourite venue, where they have never played and aren't known, using our name, so the manager thought he was getting us.
I messed with her head a bit, didn't let on that I knew. We end up dong the gigs. A couple of days later she finally gets in touch, graciously accepting my thanks for the gigs. I have no idea how they thought they would get away with that, as the pub pays through an agency, and the money goes into my bank account before I dole it out. Meanwhile, myself and the bassist are forming another band without them knowing. I'm going to steal all the venues that we've built up before leaving in a blaze of glory.
Congratulations to anyone that got to the end of that.
Oh yeah, the new band that was just formed is the one that I started the thread about. Worth the effort? Like fk it is.
I'm particularly on a downer at the moment die to current experiences with another band. Long story, but I'm in the mood for a vent, so no offence taken if you don't want to read on!
Been in this band for years and known the drummer since school (we used to sit next to each other in geography in 6th form). Had a bassist who's been with us for the best part of a decade. A few years ago, a female singer joins the band. Decent singer, she can really belt it out, but not the best at hitting the notes. When I've watched some videos of us, she is clearly the weak link. A few months ago we did some blues with a saxophonist taking a few solos. The singer kept on starting the next verse at the turnaround, which sounded awful, ruined the saxophone solo, and is quite frankly, pretty god damn amateurish.
Anyway, not long after joining us, she started another band. No problem with that. They were doing different stuff to us anyway, and she can do whatever she wants in her own time. She can't find a drummer, so my long term drummer plays with them and this turns out to be permanent. Fine, as I wouldn't want to do the songs they were doing (punked up versions of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga - no thanks). Plus, I don't want to spend more time with her than necessary, as she is nothing short of completely f
king mental. Plenty of instances of this, that I won't go into as a long story becomes ever longer!Over time, we notice that their set is getting ever closer to ours (they leave set lists in the PA case), until it gets to the point that they are basically the same band as us. Still no real problem with us (though I don't see the appeal in being in 2 identical bands, i'd rather put the extra effort into getting good with 1 personally).
Soon, drummer and singer are 'invovled' and then engaged. All gigs are going to the other band. On one occasion, my bassist fills in for them at short notice and he is incredulous at the level of the guitarist, who can hardly play. Says he'll never do it again, which he hasn't. Last year, we get a gig in a place we've played before. My bassist can't do it, so the others jump in and do the gig with their other band. I bring this up, saying this is wrong, I'm free to do the gig, so just ditching me is seriously poor form, especially as the venue asked for our band specifically, and in a similar situation last year, the bassist for my band filled in to the show with their other band. Time to start looking for another band.
The straw that broke the camels back for me completely now - Earlier in the year, I get in touch with my local pub, which also happens to be our favourite (and best paying) venue, asking if they've got any gigs. Manager says he has spoken to the singer and we are booked in. I think this is strange, get in touch with singer, no answer. Then it clicks. I go on their website, and sure enough they have got gigs there. They have 2 gigs booked in, so at least they could have given 1 to each. Then it occurs to me further that the manager at the pub thought that we were booked in. I check with him, and sure enough, this absolute cow has booked her band into our favourite venue, where they have never played and aren't known, using our name, so the manager thought he was getting us.
I messed with her head a bit, didn't let on that I knew. We end up dong the gigs. A couple of days later she finally gets in touch, graciously accepting my thanks for the gigs. I have no idea how they thought they would get away with that, as the pub pays through an agency, and the money goes into my bank account before I dole it out. Meanwhile, myself and the bassist are forming another band without them knowing. I'm going to steal all the venues that we've built up before leaving in a blaze of glory.
Congratulations to anyone that got to the end of that.
Oh yeah, the new band that was just formed is the one that I started the thread about. Worth the effort? Like f
k it is.Edited by scrubchub on Friday 19th June 11:26
Z06George said:
I'm leaving two of the bands I play in after I've done the gigs we have lined up for summer. When it becomes a massive chore to do anything regarding the band then I think it's time to call it a day IMO. I much prefer doing contract/session work, even if the people are idiots you're not with them long enough to get worked up.
How did you get into the session style work? I'd love to get involved with that kind of thing, even on a very small scale. I've been playing and teaching as a job now since 2006, so I'd like to think I'm up to the necessary standard (hopefully). Though I'm aware that it's very competitive. davidd said:
Blimey you lot make our band seem simple.
6 of us, all blokes, 4 in our mid to late 40's the other two in early to mid 20's (singer and drummer).
Oddly enough, although we all have egos, and argue the toss about the stuff we play, we all get on really well. None of us old boys are particularly good nor precious about what we do and so there is a lot of give and take, I think that helps.
The three important things about being in a band for me are.
Being in a gang with like minded people I enjoy spending time with.
Getting a bit better at playing.
Gigging a bit.
At some point I expect our singer and drummer will move on as they are better than the rest of us (the singer is a good singer and a brilliant frontman) so the dynamic will change.
Of course there are times when we are arguing about songs to try and setlist order and I've just made a pile of mistakes at practise when I think about packing it in but then I remember that this is just a fun thing to do for us. Sort of puts in perspective for me.
I think the other important difference for us is that we don't do it for the money and only book gigs miles in advance around everyones diaries.
My band used to be like that - 4 guys hanging around and playing some music. No real aggro or anything. All went weird the second that we got a girl singer in (who started shagging the drummer).6 of us, all blokes, 4 in our mid to late 40's the other two in early to mid 20's (singer and drummer).
Oddly enough, although we all have egos, and argue the toss about the stuff we play, we all get on really well. None of us old boys are particularly good nor precious about what we do and so there is a lot of give and take, I think that helps.
The three important things about being in a band for me are.
Being in a gang with like minded people I enjoy spending time with.
Getting a bit better at playing.
Gigging a bit.
At some point I expect our singer and drummer will move on as they are better than the rest of us (the singer is a good singer and a brilliant frontman) so the dynamic will change.
Of course there are times when we are arguing about songs to try and setlist order and I've just made a pile of mistakes at practise when I think about packing it in but then I remember that this is just a fun thing to do for us. Sort of puts in perspective for me.
I think the other important difference for us is that we don't do it for the money and only book gigs miles in advance around everyones diaries.
Bit of an update for those who are interested.
Turns out the hassle before was because my bassists wife went nuts about the 'relationship' between him and the lead singer (female). Lead singer subsequently went ballistic and quit the band. Accused my bassist of harrassing her. They work together, and she even got their manager involved with this harrassment complaint.
I got in touch and said "I'm ouuta here". 5 weeks and 2 big dramas. fk that st.
Now, no one wants me to 'make a final decision' because apparently this bloody nightmare of a lead singer has got cold feet and wants back in. Bassist, being a complete fking sap, is meeting up with her tonight to sort it out.
As I said, fk that. Life is too short. May look for a bit of an acoustic duo kind of gig. Something different, with potential for less messing around.
Turns out the hassle before was because my bassists wife went nuts about the 'relationship' between him and the lead singer (female). Lead singer subsequently went ballistic and quit the band. Accused my bassist of harrassing her. They work together, and she even got their manager involved with this harrassment complaint.
I got in touch and said "I'm ouuta here". 5 weeks and 2 big dramas. f
k that st. Now, no one wants me to 'make a final decision' because apparently this bloody nightmare of a lead singer has got cold feet and wants back in. Bassist, being a complete f
king sap, is meeting up with her tonight to sort it out. As I said, f
k that. Life is too short. May look for a bit of an acoustic duo kind of gig. Something different, with potential for less messing around. Gassing Station | Music | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff