Dog People....
Discussion
... are annoying I'm finding.
Some good friends of ours have a hyperactive bull terrier and we went to visit with our 8 month old recently. Now, the breed and personality of the animal is such that it's not really compatible with a baby and they understand this however rather than put the dog outside we were stuffed into a seperate living space while the precious mut had free run of the whole kitchen living area. Who does that??
The space we spent the weekend socialising in was hard floored and unsuitable for a child taking it's first steps but I had great view across the corridor to the carpeted luxury the dog enjoyed. Cue the days activities; where shall we go? "oh not there... they don't allow dogs" Oh, ok how about that nice National Trust country home for a poke around "oh no dogs allowed" FFS!! Even going out for breakfast was f
king impossible due to having to take into account this fking dog. "We can't leave him behind, he'll get lonely" etc etc
Now I know not all dog owners are like this but seriously, I've come across quite a few now that treat them as little human beings with all the same rights and considerations. To me a dog is a working animal and should be treated as such as much as is possible. I'll no doubt get flamed by dog loving element on PH but what is it about the some dog owners that they are prepared to compromise every element of there lives just for the pleasure of picking up hot animal st on a daily basis. I don't get it...
Cheers, feel better now.
Some good friends of ours have a hyperactive bull terrier and we went to visit with our 8 month old recently. Now, the breed and personality of the animal is such that it's not really compatible with a baby and they understand this however rather than put the dog outside we were stuffed into a seperate living space while the precious mut had free run of the whole kitchen living area. Who does that??
The space we spent the weekend socialising in was hard floored and unsuitable for a child taking it's first steps but I had great view across the corridor to the carpeted luxury the dog enjoyed. Cue the days activities; where shall we go? "oh not there... they don't allow dogs" Oh, ok how about that nice National Trust country home for a poke around "oh no dogs allowed" FFS!! Even going out for breakfast was f
king impossible due to having to take into account this fking dog. "We can't leave him behind, he'll get lonely" etc etcNow I know not all dog owners are like this but seriously, I've come across quite a few now that treat them as little human beings with all the same rights and considerations. To me a dog is a working animal and should be treated as such as much as is possible. I'll no doubt get flamed by dog loving element on PH but what is it about the some dog owners that they are prepared to compromise every element of there lives just for the pleasure of picking up hot animal s
t on a daily basis. I don't get it...Cheers, feel better now.
rhinochopig said:
If they treat him like that - the alpha male - then he may well have issues later. A dog is a dog, not a bloody child.
Worse still they've just had a baby themselves. My OH grew up around many dogs (in a rural setting where they were actually treated as dogs) and also expresses concern over the way they mollicoddle this particular animal. As a guest I just resent having my precious free time compromised and my daughter put second to a dog. If I hadn't known the guy for such a long time I think I might have just left tbh... OzzyR1 said:
Perhaps they have the same feeling for their dog as you do for your kid - lets face it, only you think the sun shines out of it's backside, to most other people it's a noisy, messy annoyance.
what is it about the somedog owners people with kids that they are prepared to compromise every element of there lives just for the pleasure of picking up hot animal st changing sy nappies on a daily basis. I don't get it...
I'm sorry but only a dog owner of the type in my OP could draw such an analogy...what is it about the some
y nappies on a daily basis. I don't get it...jasongtr said:
Triumph Man said:
I'm a dog person but the dog would come second. If people were visiting I certainly wouldn't let the dog dictate things!
echo that completely, but OP if you knew your friends were like that (maybe you didn't) why go there to start with?ali_kat said:
You are a guest in their house, you abide by how they live as they would at your house (eg they visit you & their beloved dog has to stay outside because you don't believe dogs should be in the house/your child can't be trusted around it 
)
ETA - Rude Boy beat me to the rest of it & said it better
Well I couldn't disagree more I'm afraid. )ETA - Rude Boy beat me to the rest of it & said it better
When I have guests I want them to feel at home, as if they aren't actually 'guests' as such i.e. nothing is too much trouble and their enjoyment is my priority. It's tiring, but I pride myself on being a good host.
benters said:
porridge said:
benters said:
rhinochopig said:
OP as for the answer to this...My advice would be to meet your mate in the pub in future and enjoy a pint and a chat without a screaming child or a hyperactive dog.
this is by far the best solution suggested so far.Reality is this was a 400 mile round trip. It's just really bloody awkward as this is one of my oldest friends and the dog is his wifes to dote on. Yes, I could speak my mind but as friend I don't really want to cause discomfort or embarrassment, I just want to be shown the same consideration and not feel that I am in some way putting them out!
There is some truth in the earlier comments that this pooch is being treated as a surrogate child, they struggled for years but do now have a baby. I had hoped some normality might creep into the situation as a result.
Squiggs said:
I can't quite work out why the dog needs 24 hour supervision/companionship?
What is it with the 'we can't go here' and 'we can't go there because the dog can't come and we can't leave the dog alone'?
Do your friends never leave the dog alone ... Do they never go shopping together, never go out for meal? (God help them if one of them is ever hospitalised - because the other won't be able to visit!)
There must be times when they leave the dog alone! In which case it sounds like the dog was being used as an excuse for not being able to go out for breakfast or visiting a NT place. In which case and in conjunction with being made to feel uncomfortable and second best to the dog whilst in their home if I were in your position I would be strongly questioning the strength of the friendship.
They have and do sometimes leave the pooch at home. But more often than not the dog is engineered into the plans "he hasn't been out since last night" or "i'm sure they'll allow dogs" whilst I shoot a sideways at look Mrs DoubleSix. We all drove to Westonbirt Arboretum last autumn only to discover that dogs aren't allowed in the 'old' part that I wanted to see... cue whimsical shrugs from them while I just wanted pick up the dog and throw it onto the M4...What is it with the 'we can't go here' and 'we can't go there because the dog can't come and we can't leave the dog alone'?
Do your friends never leave the dog alone ... Do they never go shopping together, never go out for meal? (God help them if one of them is ever hospitalised - because the other won't be able to visit!)
There must be times when they leave the dog alone! In which case it sounds like the dog was being used as an excuse for not being able to go out for breakfast or visiting a NT place. In which case and in conjunction with being made to feel uncomfortable and second best to the dog whilst in their home if I were in your position I would be strongly questioning the strength of the friendship.
Edited by DoubleSix on Monday 11th November 15:00
theshrew said:
OP ever thought that your mates didnt want your kid spilling juice, choc or something over the carpet ?
I have dogs and young kids - Thank fk i dont have carpet downstairs in my house it would be fked with all the stuff they spill.
It sounds a strange set up but TBH its your mates house they can do as they like.
She's 8 months old! She doesn't drink juice (only water and milk) and definitely doesn't eat chocolate!! I have dogs and young kids - Thank f
k i dont have carpet downstairs in my house it would be fked with all the stuff they spill. It sounds a strange set up but TBH its your mates house they can do as they like.
But no, it's bugger all to do with that, it's just a midset which puts the animal far too high up the list priorities and blinds one to common courtesy.
I understand what you and others are saying Sgirl but I just take a different view on how a guest should be treated as I've said earlier. The idea of 'my house, my rules' is an anathema to me and goes against everything I believe a good host should be. I think the point is a little sorer given that on their last visit to us we bent over backwards to show them a brilliant time and sent them home beeming!
Maybe I should start a thread about 'hosting' lol, here's a personal bug bear and sure fire sign of a stty host; "We didn't plan anything as we weren't sure what you might like to do...." when I hear that I know I'm in for a stty weekend!
Maybe I should start a thread about 'hosting' lol, here's a personal bug bear and sure fire sign of a s
tty host; "We didn't plan anything as we weren't sure what you might like to do...." when I hear that I know I'm in for a stty weekend!markh1973 said:
What is this issue with small children and hard floors? They aren't going to fall far enough to hurt themselves.
Eh? you serious?My time at home is accompanied by the reassuring thumb of head against deep pile carpet on about a 5 minute interval. The one time she tumble on our kitchen floor was not very pleasant at all!
In addition, please spend two hours crawling around a hard floor on your knees and report back on their condition as we're clearly doing it wrong, cheers.
Tyre Tread said:
It sounds as if the people on here don't know how to train a dog or manage the expectation of visitors.
If people are coming to visit I ask beforehand how they feel about the dog. I explain that she will want to say hello (i.e. check them out) very gently when they arrive and she will then be told to leave them alone unless she is called.
If they don't want to interact with the dog then they are kept away from the dog or we meet elsewhere.
The dog is part of our life that has to be considered when we interact with others. Sometimes a compromise can be found where everyone is happy sometimes we have to postpose or cancel arrangemnts.
Your friend probably didn't consider that you would rather have your child walking on carpet and probably thought you'd be happier from a hygiene persective to have the child on a hard floor.
If you can't say to your friends 'Can we sit in the lounge where its carpeted and my little bundle of stty nappy can play on a soft surface' then either you don't know how to communicate of they aren't very good friends.
Having watched a friend's young child grind a complete chocolate biscuitinto my brand new lounge carpet a few years sgo while it's mother sat there and commented on how accomodating I was about it especially having inly been laiud (the carpet) a week earlier, and then changed a dirty nappy on the carpet five minutes later, I fully understand why they didn't want your 'little bundle of fun' on their carpet.
They know they can trust the dog not to st on the carpet but your child is another matter.
Well if you just sat there while the kid put chocolate biscuit all over your carpet then either you can't communicate or they aren't very good friends... If people are coming to visit I ask beforehand how they feel about the dog. I explain that she will want to say hello (i.e. check them out) very gently when they arrive and she will then be told to leave them alone unless she is called.
If they don't want to interact with the dog then they are kept away from the dog or we meet elsewhere.
The dog is part of our life that has to be considered when we interact with others. Sometimes a compromise can be found where everyone is happy sometimes we have to postpose or cancel arrangemnts.
Your friend probably didn't consider that you would rather have your child walking on carpet and probably thought you'd be happier from a hygiene persective to have the child on a hard floor.
If you can't say to your friends 'Can we sit in the lounge where its carpeted and my little bundle of s
tty nappy can play on a soft surface' then either you don't know how to communicate of they aren't very good friends.Having watched a friend's young child grind a complete chocolate biscuitinto my brand new lounge carpet a few years sgo while it's mother sat there and commented on how accomodating I was about it especially having inly been laiud (the carpet) a week earlier, and then changed a dirty nappy on the carpet five minutes later, I fully understand why they didn't want your 'little bundle of fun' on their carpet.
They know they can trust the dog not to s
t on the carpet but your child is another matter.kVA said:
Crossflow Kid said:
DoubleSix said:
we went to visit
Their house, their rules.(I am not a dog person by the way)
If you don't like their rules (which I don't happen to completely agree with, by the way) don't go - or leave when you think it is not acceptable.
I don't have kids, but if I did, I would make sure the environment was going to be suitable for them, BEFORE I agreed to spend a weekend at someone else's house - especially if I knew they had a dog.
For the benefit of skim readers like yourself, my point was a broader one that SOME dog owners allow their dog to dictate too much, from where we eat, where we go out for the day, to what room we reside in... secondly good friends (and hosts!) prioritise their guests over most other things to ensure they enjoy themselves, this notion of 'my house, my rules' is crass beyond belief, to me it's 'my house, your rules' when guests stay with the exception of smoking indoors etc. I'm repeating myself now but I guess we're at that point around 4 pages into a thread where people read the OP and dash to the end to voice their views without actually realising their point has already been discussed.
otolith said:
DoubleSix said:
to me it's 'my house, your rules' when guests stay with the exception of smoking indoors etc
So more "my house, your rules, unless they bother me"?kVA said:
DoubleSix said:
Well I can only assume you skim read the thread. We have addressed this already.
For the benefit of skim readers like yourself...
...I'm repeating myself now but I guess we're at that point around 4 pages into a thread where people read the OP and dash to the end to voice their views without actually realising their point has already been discussed.
You don't think that's patronising and rude, then? For the benefit of skim readers like yourself...
...I'm repeating myself now but I guess we're at that point around 4 pages into a thread where people read the OP and dash to the end to voice their views without actually realising their point has already been discussed.
OK, so I think we now know who has the problem between you and your dog-owning friends
otolith said:
DoubleSix said:
otolith said:
DoubleSix said:
to me it's 'my house, your rules' when guests stay with the exception of smoking indoors etc
So more "my house, your rules, unless they bother me"? Come on ffs, I think it's pretty clear society as a whole have drawn a line on smoking in closed environments... lets not nit pick for sake of it eh?captainzep said:
Just exploring the parameters here, but how about a decent rummage up your lady's jumper? I won't smoke?
You will smoke.It's hard not to when you've been doused in petrol, set alight, and kicked around the garden.... ho ho
Edited by DoubleSix on Monday 11th November 20:26
Gassing Station | All Creatures Great & Small | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff