Would you let your daughter take up horse riding?

[DoubleSix]

"Of course, what are you soft??!!"

Is the response I expect. But I'm not risk averse and am a big believer in the value of life experiences, especially those that get them out in the great outdoors etc

BUT, I have serious reservations about this one.

Background is that OH's family are horse mad, owning many of the beasts. They're already doing their best to indoctrinate her into a horse mad kid and she's only two ffs! They've bought her a pony already and make a big fuss about it when she goes to stay etc It's all just assumed she will ride and she will love it and it's all jolly good fun blah blah blah

But I'm thinking ahead a bit and thinking "hold on a minute, it's my job to protect this kid from undue risk" I don't want her spending her life in a fking wheelchair (I know extreme perhaps) just because I walked sleeping into a scenario of someone else's design. Would I actively encourage a boy to hop on a motorbike at 16?? hmm probably not actually.

Some of the statistics are pretty grim:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/sto...


So, I won't bleat on too much but would welcome some input on the issue. I'm tempted to put my foot down as once she's a bit older it won't be fair to hit reverse but I don't want to be a dick and let my fatherly instincts deprive the kid of enjoyment, but there is a balance to be struck here right?

[DoubleSix]

RizzoTheRat said:

How do you feel about her taking drugs?

I wouldn't actively encourage it.

[DoubleSix]

Rude-boy said:

As a childless chap I feel very well placed to advise on this.

This is perhaps one of the first major issues you will have encountered with your child where you have to balance the expectations of others with your desires and fears, those of your wife/partner and generally make a call on something that will likely shape a good chunk of the next 16+ years.

I am not a fan of horse riding although I do it from time to time and know many people with broken limbs and missing teeth thanks to their love of 2 tonne idiots with more legs than brain cells. You have however apparently married into a Horsey family and must have known the day a girl child appeared that this was coming. You will not win this battle if you try to stick your feet in, the outlaws will see to that with their conversations with Grand daughter and daughter. Instead take control and set down ground rules.

Do not forget to remind them that as soon as she is able to you will also be taking her down the local kart track. When they start to kick off with this just remind them how much greater the chances of suffering a life changing injury horse riding is compared to karting or motorsport.

Interesting.

I am a skier and the OH always mentions that when I bring up horse riding risks! But I don't believe the risks to be in the same league.

OH is obviously blinded by her childhood experiences and won't hear a bad word against it, which bothers me. If the risks were taken seriously and acknowledged then I might feel less uneasy.

RE: Costs are borne by them so not a massive worry on that front.

RE back protection, helmet etc. Common sense says this is not going to help much in the event of a serious fall or the horse coming down on top of you.

What do people think of the link? Many of us, myself included, spurn motorbikes because of the relative risks. I love speed and adrenaline but on balance don't think the risk is worth it... so why is this different?

[DoubleSix]

ewenm said:

DoubleSix said:

RE back protection, helmet etc. Common sense says this is not going to help much in the event of a serious fall or the horse coming down on top of you.

The scenarios you mention are rare. Much more common would be lesser falls - why wouldn't you protect yourself against injury in those?

I wear a helmet when cycling. Not because I think it's going to save me if I get squashed by a car but it does help keep my scalp intact if I fall off and scrape my head along the ground (not that uncommon).

As you say, the only way guaranteed to avoid a serious incident is not to take part, but that may cost you more in your relationship with your family than the risk of a serious incident in the first place.

Well of course, I wasn't suggesting she shouldn't wear them! Only that they offer me little comfort in the context of my concerns.

[DoubleSix]

Ari said:

DoubleSix said:

Background is that OH's family are horse mad, owning many of the beasts. They're already doing their best to indoctrinate her into a horse mad kid and she's only two ffs! They've bought her a pony already and make a big fuss about it when she goes to stay etc It's all just assumed she will ride and she will love it and it's all jolly good fun blah blah blah

Presumably they discussed this with you first before buying your daughter a pony. Surely that would have been the time to raise your concerns? Bit late now.

Nope. The have loads of the buggers, buy and sell them all the time.

However, the pony in question was called 'hers' when she was still a baby so I wasn't really fussed. Just seemed a harmless bit of fun and still is in some senses. But I'm looking ahead here and picking up on conversations that are only emerging as she is getting older and more conscious of what's 'hers' and what isn't...

[DoubleSix]

Thanks. All very thought provoking, appreciate the first hand experiences shared.

On the whole my worry has been tempered a little by the responses. Someone mentioned that we are talking about trotting around a paddock on a long rein not show jumping and I think that is a useful perspective as well as the benefits of caring for an animal and mixing with adults - all good stuff I suppose. Unless someone has some really compelling stats I'll have to accept that the anecdotal tragedies are just that.

Some of the other comments are amusing and just to address a couple of recurring themes;

a) I'm not worried about 'sets'. tts come in all shapes and forms and you'll find many at track days, sports events etc etc. Besides my in-laws situation is more rural small holding than full fat RR land Surrey.

b) Costs are not my concern here. Firstly because if they want her to ride then they will have to pick up the tab afaic. And secondly because if we don't have it then we can't spend it so no amount of whinging from a teen can change that. If we do have it I'm quite happy saying "no" when things get excessive.

So, my concerns always centred around the danger involved rather than any other aspect and I still have significant reservations there but feel some of the points made will probably stop me from slamming the anchors on this too early, I think.

[DoubleSix]

bishbosh66 said:

Having read in wonder some of the responses on here, I can only feel sorry for the future of the OPs daughter. A lifetime of cotton wool and hand washing beckons. Please let her at least find out if the whole horse scene is for her. We have two horses and my step daughter wants nothing to do with them, despite having had some lessons (at her own request) at a younger age. My wife gets as much pleasure out of tending for the horses as actually riding them. The combing, cleaning, washing thing gives her a chance to get much closer to the animal, and therefore get more attached and involved with it. Maybe caring for the horse will provide a good lifeskill for the OPs daughter.

Reading is a good life skill...

I'm not sure why you would imagine the "responses on here" are any reflection my daughter's future but perhaps you should read MY response on the page prior to this.

[DoubleSix]

MarshPhantom said:

Put your foot down OP. My O/Hs family are bike mental. I wouldn't be happy if they encouraged my children into bikes.

If they wanted to when older I certainly wouldn't stop them.

Which was my initial thought as well. But what about riding a 125cc scrambler round a muddy field on private land? (something I certainly did as a lad).

[DoubleSix]

Timmy40 said:

mph1977 said:

Timmy40 said:

Is reasonableness on both sides perhaps needed? Horse riders on a single track lane IMO could very reasonably expect passing traffic to slow to a virtual crawl as they pass the flighty beast and it's horse, however if a rider decides to take their horse onto a busy NSL A road then it's reasonable IMO to expect the horse and rider to be suitably experienced with traffic that passing car could slow from perhaps 50 to 30-40mph without the rider and horse having a fit.

It is the latter case that causes a lot of issues where I live with some members of the horsey set deciding to take very flighty horses out on a busy A road at rush hour and then gesticulating wildly at passes cars who fail to slam on their brakes and decelerate from 50 to 5 on immediate sight of a horse. It's dangerous for everyone.

pedestrians, cyclists and equestrians have an unequivocable right to use the roads, the operators of mechanically propelled vehicles do not.

care to re-phrase your assertion after reading the HC and cited Legislation .

Not really no. If you are unable to control your horse around vehicles travelling at moderate speed then it's patently not a good idea to ride said horse on a busy A-road. Any responsible rider would/ should ensure that if they wish to do so both they and the horse are suitably used to traffic or of the right temperament to deal with it. If that's not the case then IMO the rider is an idiot.

Guys, can you perhaps take this discussion to another thread. It's got little to do with the original topic...

Thanks

[DoubleSix]

bishbosh66 said:

DoubleSix said:

bishbosh66 said:

Having read in wonder some of the responses on here, I can only feel sorry for the future of the OPs daughter. A lifetime of cotton wool and hand washing beckons. Please let her at least find out if the whole horse scene is for her. We have two horses and my step daughter wants nothing to do with them, despite having had some lessons (at her own request) at a younger age. My wife gets as much pleasure out of tending for the horses as actually riding them. The combing, cleaning, washing thing gives her a chance to get much closer to the animal, and therefore get more attached and involved with it. Maybe caring for the horse will provide a good lifeskill for the OPs daughter.

Reading is a good life skill...

I'm not sure why you would imagine the "responses on here" are any reflection my daughter's future but perhaps you should read MY response on the page prior to this.

OK, just so I understand, you ask a question on an internet forum about what you should do about the seemingly terrrible risks involved with letting other members of your family decide what your daughter should do with her spare time. I suggested that some of the responses on the topic advocated doing the utmost to mimimize any kind of risk for your offspring - and that I felt sorry for her having to go through life wrapped in cotton wool and you get the hump ! MTFU, state that you are not allowing your precious child to enter this theatre of danger that is a field with a pony in it, and move on.

You are obviously very hard of thinking. Good day.

[DoubleSix]

walm said:

bishbosh66 said:

I suggested that some of the responses on the topic advocated doing the utmost to mimimize any kind of risk for your offspring - and that I felt sorry for her having to go through life wrapped in cotton wool...

Why are assuming he would take their advice - not the far more sensible advice - which he already stated he would be taking?
He got the hump because you a. can't be bothered to read the thread b. assumed he would take one particular set of advice and c. accused him of being an over-protective parent.

To follow up you told him to MTFU after he quite rightly pointed out you are both lazy and wrong.

I feel sorry that any of your offspring will have no choice but to share your DNA.
At least it is limited to 50% I suppose.

Cheers walm.

I really didn't have the energy today...

[DoubleSix]

Bullett said:

Andy Zarse said:

I just noticed in this picture the horse has hands.

and fingers...