New cat - very anxious and hissy

[dreamer75]

Hi - I've had cats for years, and was at the stage of having just one (Poppy). I've had Poppy since about 6 months old - she was an RSPCA rescue - and now she's about 3 years old. Poppy spends a lot of her time outside catching mice and running away from (getting beaten up by) the neighbouring big black cat, but she's friendly and I've never seen her be aggro with a person.

I've adopted a friend's cat (Dusty). Dusty was thrown off a balcony at 3 months old and adopted by my friend, where she spent her entire life inside his 2 bed flat in London. She's now 3 years old and more attached to him than I've ever seen a cat be - possibly because he "rescued" her and her circle of influence up until now has been pretty small due to being a house cat. He's emigrating and I have the cat at least until mid December, possibly longer, and if his plans change then maybe forever.

I'm going through the process of getting her spayed, chipped, jabbed etc. but understandably she's a bit freaked out.

She arrived on Wednesday and is calming down (sleeping in the open now rather than in "her" box) but she won't let me touch her at all without hissing, ears flat, and a bop and a little bite (going to the vet's this morning will be fun). She will take treats from my hand, and she's eating and using the litter tray fine. I have a Feliway diffuser in her room and I'm trying to desensitise her slowly.

Any tips or tricks?? I think I'm using cat common sense, but at some point I need to introduce her to my cat (maybe after a couple of weeks?), and let her have the run of the house rather than the one room she's shut in at the moment. I have let her out into the downstairs twice now (while Poppy is out) and she roams around gathering confidence.

As an aside, she's really thin, despite scoffing quite a lot of food! I'll be asking the vet to worm her today just in case !

Do you think a house cat would ever adjust to going outside? Would be nice to ditch the litter tray at some stage!

[dreamer75]

Thanks for the reply

It breaks your heart - I know how affectionate she is with her slave and she desperately looks like she needs a cuddle! Just want to explain to her it will all be ok!

Did make a bit of progress, although I've never known a cat like it; one minute she'll rub up against you and within a fraction of a second she's hissing at you. Now we are back at square minus one after the vet visit Almost couldn't get her in the basket - I've never had to scuff a cat but that wasn't even an option as couldn't get close enough. Ended up tricking her in as she hid in a box under a blanket, and gave her the open basket door as an escape route.

I can't easily sleep with her as she's in the office downstairs but I'll look at options as that may help, thank you

She is a small cat (2.6kg) so will look at the dosages for those and try them, good call. The vet wormed her yesterday too just in case, so will see what happens with her weight. She's certainly putting the food away and producing stuff in the litter tray !

Poppys been very good so far, just a bit miaowy and a bit clingy. There are two litter trays but Poppy will always go outside - just makes it tough Dusty being an indoor cat for a few weeks as it means I can't leave the kitchen door open for Poppy to come and go at will. All manageable though.

If I could handle Dusty it would be helpful - at the moment if I need to move her, there's no chance at all I can pick her up or shoo her somewhere, so I'm at a bit of a loss tbh. Just to get her back in her bedroom for example, so I can let Poppy back in. I will look at the stairgates, as if they can socialise it will help a lot!

Thank you again

[dreamer75]

PS - no chance of a capsule going in her (Zylkene) - even the vet opted for spot on wormer rather than a tablet!

[dreamer75]

He did! Stayed a night and the next day. I'm wondering if she was ill treated by a woman in the past (she was a rescue) - she is happy to come out for cuddles if a bloke friend visits, but just hisses at me. She'll have a cuddle from me if the bloke is in the room but as soon as they've left we're back to hissing. Either that or she blames me for the absence of the slave !

If I can get my cat introduced to her, then I can let her out of her room (although I honestly have no clue how to get her in her basket for the next vet visit). The flap is a microchip one but it only controls inbound cats, not outbound unfortunately.

I'll keep persevering and get the zylkene ordered ! Thanks again I'll let you know how she gets on!

[dreamer75]

She has a box with a t-shirt of his in it (she goes there when she needs to feel safe), and the cat basket has a blanket of his.

I suspect I'll start to make progress just as it's time for the next vet visit (spay!)

Introduced her through mesh to Poppy yesterday, then she got out of her room during the inght so i woke up to yowling and separated them for the night. Pops has been out all day but hoping to get them face to face today.

Poor little cat, I do feel for her!

[dreamer75]

Well making progress !

Poppy has got the arse a bit and is staying at the neighbours more than usual. Not helped by the fact I've been out and away all week (not back properly til Saturday night), but should be back to normal next week.

Dusty will now tolerate me, and even comes out for head nudges and strokes and has jumped up on my lap!!! I still get a love bite (i.e. not hard) when she's had enough - which is unpredictable - but I think she just gets a bit overloaded.

Of course we'll be back at square one after the vet visit next Friday !!!!

But phew. Things are moving in the right direction !

[dreamer75]

Dusty and I are getting on great, but same cannot be said for Dusty and Poppy. This morning fur flew - literally.

Dusty is locked in her room most of the time, except evenings or daytimes when I'm home and she can come out. I won't leave her and Poppy unsupervised. This morning there was a full on going for each other, fur flying, chasing around the house moment - Dusty gives as good as she gets !

Once she can go out, at least I can leave the cat flap unlocked so they can get some space from each other. It is a big house but they race around chasing each other so it feels small ! Fingers crossed they can settle down with each other although I am quite concerned.

[dreamer75]

Ahh good idea - presumably without Dusty in it !!!!!!!

Glad to hear it isn't game over - it's interesting that Poppy is the one who back off, despite being resident cat, and being a bit of a bruiser outside!

[dreamer75]

Thanks Ali! Poppy won't go in that room and if I put hher in, she cries at the door with her tail between her legs (even if I'm in there). Dusty is settling in well now, and I give her the run of the house when I'm home. She's spayed now and jabbed, so as soon as she's programmed into the cat flap and insured, she's going to be going outside which probably makes things easier on both of them.

I should also say - she managed to climb out of my bedroom window, down the dormer roof and intothe garden a couple of weeks ago - found her on th egarden fence in the morning ! So I think she's going to be ok going outside!

[dreamer75]

No not at all

Dusty and I are good friends now but if Dusty sees Poppy then there's a lot of noise, chasing and fur flying. Poppy appears properly scared of Dusty (who is tiny but vicious!) It's a real shame I haven't started on the Zylkene yet (will do after this weekend) and have a concerted effort because I'm going to be home for a couple of weeks. I'd just like them to tolerate each other!

And someone somewhere is feeding Poppy because she's got very fat recently !

[dreamer75]

Unfortunately collars last about 30 seconds on Pops And yes she was done as a kitten so no risk! She's just a tubba now !

I didn't want to start on the zylkene until I was back from a couple of work trips, but am going to start this week now I'm back for a while The plugin diffuser didn't seem to do anything. It's quite a big house so tricky to put stuff in every room, but I will be getting more and a wider variety!

[dreamer75]

One step forward, two back :s

Vet recommended Nutricalm (the zylkene was doing nothing, nor was feliway and the other stuff hasn't turned up from amazon yet). So yesterday they both seemed a bit more chilled. Today was Dusty's big day to go outside. Poppy was out already and came over for a nose (she wasn't aggro) - Dusty leapt for her and chased her away over the fence

I had kept Poppy in for a few days so she remembered where she lived, and was pleased she had gone out, and then come back to the garden and back in the house today.

Dusty is something else - wondering if she's just too much for Poppy to handle, but not sure what else to do!

[dreamer75]

Thanks Ali - I think I've just been lucky in the past !! The Zylkene was a few days - cross your fingers the next update is a good one

[dreamer75]

Thanks Bex - I'll have a read. No issues with being in there for the long haul, I'm just mostly concerned about Poppy who disappears now for days at a time. Poor Pops just wants to be friendly, and lived with my old cat without issue.

Dusty has made huge steps forward, you're right, it's just you forget that when you've got tufts of fur flying and an upset Pops ! I didn't realise the Zylkene took so long to kick in, will persevere! Nutricalm seems to have had more of an impact so far.

Thanks everybody

PS - I think Dusty is like a kitten - everything is new, so she gets overstimulated then explodes. Which sometimes involves a nip. Which is a huge improvement to the hissing biting scratching animal which arrived. Which I'm sure was fear and anxiety. Poor thing.

[dreamer75]

Well I'm almost ready to admit defeat. Dusty and I get on fine, and she's happy enough going outside etc.

However Dusty and Poppy are WWIII I am trying Zylkene, Pet Remedy plug ins, the squirty stuff on their food, and now I've had to lock Poppy in the house (she basically doesn't come home and has resorted to catching mice/birds and taking them to my neighbours house to eat and sleep), and locked Dusty in her room. I've been trying a method where you feed them either side of the door and had managed to get them eating each side of a closed door. Today Dusty caught sight of Poppy and flew at her Managed to get in between them but just when I thought we were making progress I suspect Dusty is never going to get on with another cat.

I've told my mate that he needs to start thinking about a plan b, because it isn't fair on either of them. I'll give it until the end of Jan to try and make progress but I'm not optimistic

[dreamer75]

I think so If they were making a little progress I would be more optimistic, but at the moment I'm losing Poppy to the neighbour and that's not fair either.

My mate has gone radio silent (his usual style when he doesn't want to deal with something) which is leaving me with fewer and fewer options. I called the RSPCA yesterday (Poppy is an RSPCA rescue) but they don't take "unwanted pets" - only abandoned or cruelly treated animals. So I called the CPL who take a message and call back (not called yet but I only spoke to them yesterday afternoon).

Can you think of any other options for her? None of my friends or family want a cat (the only ones who could / would take her, already have cats so not an option)? I feel truly awful about it but there just don't seem to be any other options

[dreamer75]

Yeah I've tried asking the neighbour. Ironically he would e perfect for Dusty! He's home all the time (long term sick) and loves having a cat around, but he doesn't want her.

The mate has no family, and i don't think has any friends that would help. I've tried all my FB friends and one of them can take Dusty for a few weeks but not permanently

I'm goign to phone the vet this morning and chase up CPL as they didn't return my call.

I can't have downstairs/upstairs - just the way the banisters are etc. and how agile Dusty is, she jumps up through the banisters from miles away. Plus Poppy would get distressed. I had managed to get Poppy to come home twice this week overnight Woke up and she was on my bed! However Dusty managed to fly at her this morning and now she won't even go near the closed door and is jumpy again, so not sure she'll come back again without trying. However it means I'm positive longer term that once Dusty has gone, I will be able to get Poppy back once she knows the house is hers again. She even brought me a bird earlier this week

It is incredibly sad that Dusty may end up at a charity - she's such an adorable pet. Loves being on your lap, loves cuddles and strokes, loves to participate and play games (including fetch!). She's absolutely perfect for someone with no existing cat!

Thanks for all the tips everybody - cross your fingers that either the vet knows someone who wants a cat, or some other miracle solution pops up!

[dreamer75]

Little update.... a friend of mine (cat experience) has taken her Cats Protection League were holding a space for her until Friday (still are, just in case) and my friend was just going to take Dusty for a few days until then. However Dusty seems to be settling in well with my friend and her husband, and if things keep going well then she will probably stay forever

Based on the photos everything is fine - she's been sleeping on my friend's husband's lap, on his keyboard, on the sofa, playing, eating and using the litter tray I think she just wanted exclusive attention and obviously being in a house with a cat in it was stressing her out.

Poppy has hardly left the house since she went - sleeping with me on the bed, on the sofa, eating, and purring lots.

No contact from my (possibly soon to be ex) mate since I messaged him to tell him it was a problem, and he responded with "there are 4 options" - one of which was putting her down

[dreamer75]

Thanks guys and thanks for all the tips. If nothing else it's been a HUGE learning exercise and I've learnt so much about cat behaviour! Yes it is a huge weight - the house is v quiet without the cheeky monkey in it, but it's been lovely having Pops home and seeing her so chilled, and seeing photos of Dusty snoozing in various places obviously feeling loved

[dreamer75]

Nightmare said:

totally unrelated but ive literally just finished a skype call where the chap on the other ends cat leapt onto the table and proudly deposited a slow worm in front of the camera and then p*ssed off!

LOL Cats are great aren't they !