"You're very nice but..."

[vrsmxtb]

If I'm so lovely / nice then give me a f-ing chance and date me!

Why do women let the nice guys finish last? I swear the next date I have I'm going to be a total ahole and see what difference it makes...

Mini "I can't get a girlfriend" rant over.

[vrsmxtb]

That's actually cheered me right up! I knew I could trust PH!

[vrsmxtb]

wendyg said:

Just being nice means nothing. It's good, of course, but irrelevant.
I've been looking at your posting recently.



Wow, that is really boring.
No girl is even slightly interested it the stuff youve been posting.

Be open
Be engaging
Be cheerful
Be interesting
Be interested
Be funny
Be kind
Be generous
Be attentive

You know all my personality defects from a random load of posts on a car forum. Impressive!

[vrsmxtb]

VinceFox said:

*sigh*

Really? This again?

Be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, compete with yourself to improve your mind, your health, your interest and passion in all areas of life EXCEPT trying to meet women. Basically be fking AWESOME. Stop looking for women and forget about expecting them to come to you if you get better at being you. Just get better at it because it will be better than being the st version of you and for gods sake if you have to talk to them, do it because you want anoter mate that happens to be female. Dont expect anything else and dont treat them as though you do.

Being with someone isnt that important. Tbh it can be a massive liability or at the very least an inconvenience. Get comfy being on your own, hone and sharpen your interests and skills in things you really enjoy or that you think really matter. Life isnt an episode of the fking inbetweeners, it's life and it'll be over before you know it.





Also, hookers.

Best post of the thread.

I do actively think along these lines, honest but there's always room for improvement.

[vrsmxtb]

No, the whole be an ahole/dick thing was a bit flippant. It is purely self-confidence and not being so nicey-nice. I have plenty of interests and do consider myself to have loads of attractive qualities, probably the reason why I find myself entering the "friendzone" so quickly, I just need to hone delivering what girls find attractive beyond that on the initial first impression.

Any girl will be damn lucky to get me, so it's their loss!

Is that better?

[vrsmxtb]

Oi! I'm the OP, not this other guy who wants the uni hottie!

In all seriousness I think I've gone through life somehow being much too modest about myself, and this is really showing in my low dating success rate. I've done a lot of interesting things in the past, been in bands since early twenties, toured the UK and some of Europe, had albums out. I'm only half-English so my other nationality always seems to be a talking point. But somehow I always downplay everything so that needs to change.

I think I'm guilty of not being able to chill out and relax after a date I thought went well because I'm impatient to see if a second date will happen, so whilst not quite in Jon Favreau "Swingers" phone call mode, I often can't resist texting her the day after which probably comes across negatively and breaks "the code". I hate all the dating game rules and theories but I suppose many of them do have logic to them.

Also, it's not like I've never seen a girl past a first date by any means, my original post was just venting some frustration at a recent thanks but no thanks experience.

I think online dating is tricky as well - I think many girls treat it as some kind of shopping experience and first impressions are the absolute make or break. My personality is far more suited to getting to know someone a bit slower and naturally which ties in to the wise words of one poster about forgetting the whole "meeting girls" preoccupation and getting out into life for your own development and enjoyment and meet others along the way doing the same.