On the anniversary of the day that a loved one died...

[davepoth]

For the last couple of days, my mother has been very angry with me because I didn't realise that it was the anniversary of the day that my father died (it was three years ago).

I miss my dad so much, and I think of him a lot, but I really don't want to remember the day that we sat in hospital and watched the life ebb out of him. The day before the anniversary, I was having a conversation with someone from the factory he worked at, and we were discussing the annual cricket game there.

She was asking for fielding tips and I said "the ground falls away at one end - if you stand there, nobody can see that you're drinking cider, since that's what my Dad always used to do". I like to remember the good times.

My mother is using every opportunity she walks past me to harangue me about how I don't care about him, or her, or anyone else but myself, and while I really would like to have a shouting match with her about it I know that's not fair because she's grieving and that's the way she feels. I just wish she could accept that someone might feel a little different about it.

Am I being an ass, or do other people not like to remember and commemorate death anniversaries?

[davepoth]

doogz said:

Chin up mate, and try not to fall out with your Mum. You realise parents aren't going to be around for ever, you don't want your last words to her to be something horrible.

Absolutely - I'm just a bit angry that she keeps telling me I don't care when I do. I can't tell her what I want to say since that will upset her more, so I've just been sitting here and taking it. I just don't feel like that day is one that I want to think about - there were plenty of good times that I'd rather celebrate.