What made you laugh hardest...?
Discussion
For me it was about 25 years ago whilst we were on a secondary school visit to a working livestock farm in Kent.
Upon arrival fifty 12 year olds were split into 4 groups with one teacher allocated to look after each group. I knew it wasn't going to be fun when we got Mr Collins; our Latin teacher. Mr Collins was a deeply scary individual, not to mention humourless, strict, large and violent (this was the 1980's Inner London comprehensive school when a smack for misbehaving was common place!).
So off the other groups trotted in jovial spirit whilst we trotted off in silence with Mr Collins to the cow shed with the farm hand.
There was a bit of blah blah blah and we ended up at one end standing behind a cow that we were informed was up the duff. Farm man picked up a long plastic glove (very muffled sniggers!), put it on a told us the cow was pregnant and he was going to check all ok inside. Still muffled sniggers he stuck arm all the way up, fiddled a bit, withdrew and asked who wanted a go.
No one manned up but with quite a bit of coercion Mr Collins, fair play to him, eventually volunteered and pulled on the glove. More very very silent muffled sniggering.
He was up to about his elbow when the cow decided to empty the contents of it's bowels in a powerful and constant greeny brown jet all over Mr Collins face and body, covering him literally head to toe in s
t. The richocets spattering several of us too along the way (not me).
Mr Collins rapidly withdrew his arm and that's when the main body of the st pratically knocked him over, Mr Collins spewing and swearing like i've never seen anyone replicate to this day.
On his hands and knees covered in green st was the scariest teacher that ever walked the land. Not one of us was not bent double is hysterics, all fear now gone of reprisals.
He, still swearing and fuming covered in st, was taken off to get changed and we were told the farm visit was over and make our way back to the bus. We were all on the bus waiting for Mr Collins, pissing ourselves and sharing what had happened to staff and kids alike, when we saw him in Orange overalls walking over the driveway to the bus. Muffled sniggers all the way home......
Imagine Mr Collins was your teacher Nemesis; you have to see the funny side.
Upon arrival fifty 12 year olds were split into 4 groups with one teacher allocated to look after each group. I knew it wasn't going to be fun when we got Mr Collins; our Latin teacher. Mr Collins was a deeply scary individual, not to mention humourless, strict, large and violent (this was the 1980's Inner London comprehensive school when a smack for misbehaving was common place!).
So off the other groups trotted in jovial spirit whilst we trotted off in silence with Mr Collins to the cow shed with the farm hand.
There was a bit of blah blah blah and we ended up at one end standing behind a cow that we were informed was up the duff. Farm man picked up a long plastic glove (very muffled sniggers!), put it on a told us the cow was pregnant and he was going to check all ok inside. Still muffled sniggers he stuck arm all the way up, fiddled a bit, withdrew and asked who wanted a go.
No one manned up but with quite a bit of coercion Mr Collins, fair play to him, eventually volunteered and pulled on the glove. More very very silent muffled sniggering.
He was up to about his elbow when the cow decided to empty the contents of it's bowels in a powerful and constant greeny brown jet all over Mr Collins face and body, covering him literally head to toe in s
t. The richocets spattering several of us too along the way (not me).Mr Collins rapidly withdrew his arm and that's when the main body of the s
t pratically knocked him over, Mr Collins spewing and swearing like i've never seen anyone replicate to this day.On his hands and knees covered in green s
t was the scariest teacher that ever walked the land. Not one of us was not bent double is hysterics, all fear now gone of reprisals.He, still swearing and fuming covered in s
t, was taken off to get changed and we were told the farm visit was over and make our way back to the bus. We were all on the bus waiting for Mr Collins, pissing ourselves and sharing what had happened to staff and kids alike, when we saw him in Orange overalls walking over the driveway to the bus. Muffled sniggers all the way home......Imagine Mr Collins was your teacher Nemesis; you have to see the funny side.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff