The Cancer Kiss off - being dumped after diagnosis
Discussion
Evening all. I had the mods delete the other thread for legal reasons but i've started this one so i can keep everyone updated.
As mentioned on the previous thread, I have sent a letter to my solicitor to update her on the outcome of the hearing and i will be appealing the legal aid refusal and will be contesting the restricted access to my son. in hindsight i made the mistake of choosing to represent myself and to be fair i had no choice as i was not able to afford the legal costs. I'm not sure what steps i can take to perhaps appeal the decision and i'll not be stopping until i get my equal time with my son.
As you are aware, she emptied my bank accounts and i was left car less. Today I picked up my new Astra GTC Sri 2.0cdti Auto. I have the DWP to thank for awarding me the higher rate mobility and DLA. Im quite pleased with it and its nice to be able to get around now a lot easier.
As mentioned on the previous thread, I have sent a letter to my solicitor to update her on the outcome of the hearing and i will be appealing the legal aid refusal and will be contesting the restricted access to my son. in hindsight i made the mistake of choosing to represent myself and to be fair i had no choice as i was not able to afford the legal costs. I'm not sure what steps i can take to perhaps appeal the decision and i'll not be stopping until i get my equal time with my son.
As you are aware, she emptied my bank accounts and i was left car less. Today I picked up my new Astra GTC Sri 2.0cdti Auto. I have the DWP to thank for awarding me the higher rate mobility and DLA. Im quite pleased with it and its nice to be able to get around now a lot easier.
It's colorectal cancer. It affects my ability to walk as its grown into and pressing on nerves leading down my my leg which has resulted in foot drop and loss of sensation in my foot. This makes it difficult walking without a stick. Walking also causes pressure on the tumour and excruciating pain.
I'm on my 3rd round of chemo Monday, which will be followed by a mri scan the following week, so will know the what the progress is with the chemo. I saw my oncologist today (Friday), she was keen for me to start radiotherapy after my fourth dose of chemo.
I'm on my 3rd round of chemo Monday, which will be followed by a mri scan the following week, so will know the what the progress is with the chemo. I saw my oncologist today (Friday), she was keen for me to start radiotherapy after my fourth dose of chemo.
205alive said:
OP, have you heard of DCA (dichloroacetate) and it's use against cancers? It's a very cheap drug which has shown a lot of promise, with a very well informed online community based at http://www.thedcasite.com/
Specifically, have a look at http://www.thedcasite.com/Laurine_Kress_colon_canc...
and
http://www.thedcasite.com/Colo_rectal_to_liver.htm...
http://www.thedcasite.com/dca-forum/topic/new-idea...
There is a huge amount of good info at the above site - give it a good read through, eh?
Edited to add, this is the first paper which was published about the use of this drug against cancer and the results:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S...
Thank you, I'll have a look at that Specifically, have a look at http://www.thedcasite.com/Laurine_Kress_colon_canc...
and
http://www.thedcasite.com/Colo_rectal_to_liver.htm...
http://www.thedcasite.com/dca-forum/topic/new-idea...
There is a huge amount of good info at the above site - give it a good read through, eh?
Edited to add, this is the first paper which was published about the use of this drug against cancer and the results:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S...
Edited by 205alive on Saturday 9th February 21:24
205alive said:
The phrases I used were 'showed promise' and 'some people have had success', or very similar. The 'pseudoscience' you accuse me of pedalling was in the form of links to a site which gave a good introduction to DCA as well as offering a sort of repository for additional external links - touting? As in I have something to gain from it? Nope, you're missing the point.
But thank you for providing the links to the very well presented/researched and written articles.
As you know, seeing as you've read them, the first rightly asks questions about some of the results you'd expect to see published on the site I linked to. It also asks questions about the commercial aspect of that site selling DCA. But along with other detailed aspects about DCA and developments in recent years, the author refers to some results of tests which were undertaken state:
"The first part of the study was something quite fascinating that I don’t recall ever having seen before in a clinical trial. Michelakis and colleagues studied 49 consecutive surgically excised glioblastomas. Glioblastoma is an aggressive form of brain cancer known to exhibit the Warburg effect and thus a good candidate for the first attempts at testing DCA in humans. These tumors were then tested in vitro with DCA. The excised tumors did demonstrate evidence of the Warburg effect, and treatment with DCA resulted in significant reversal of some of these features in the excised tumors, particularly mitochondrial hyperpolarization, while not having any effect on normal tissues excised with the cancers."
The second linked article starts off by completely laying into one particular article which claimes DCA was a magic bullet cure for cancer, which of course, it should not have claimed. But that same second linked article also states:
"But there is a germ of truth to the story, in that DCA does have potential"
"DCA also seems like a relatively safe drug. This is encouraging. It means there is a body of work already published on the effects of DCA, which should simplify the process of moving it into clinical trials. The authors, however, very clearly indicate that it won’t be a magic bullet affecting all cancers..."
And:
"We should be urging further investigation of this promising drug with the beginning of clinical trials, but it’s far too early to be babbling about “cancer cures”"
So again, your articles clearly surmise that DCA shows promise, and further reaearch must be undertaken.
As far as my opinion on self medication goes - as you'll know, one in five people is diagnosed with cancer, and given it's severity, I feel that staying informed about alternative treatments which might not appear in NHS treatment protocols is a good course of action. A significant number of my close and extended family have had cancer, or are currently undergoing treatment, hence my interest in off the radar developments. Nothing wrong with sharing that, as long as it's supported by a 'proceed with caution' attitude - hence my request to the OP to familiarise himself with potential drawbacks or dangers.
Certainly seems the most promising of the alternative therapies that I've tried or researched. I'm doing a little more research on it. Also found some stuff on GcMaf, a immune system booster but again in initial testing stage and horrendously expensive. I appreciate your time in researching this for me...many hands make light work and all that But thank you for providing the links to the very well presented/researched and written articles.
As you know, seeing as you've read them, the first rightly asks questions about some of the results you'd expect to see published on the site I linked to. It also asks questions about the commercial aspect of that site selling DCA. But along with other detailed aspects about DCA and developments in recent years, the author refers to some results of tests which were undertaken state:
"The first part of the study was something quite fascinating that I don’t recall ever having seen before in a clinical trial. Michelakis and colleagues studied 49 consecutive surgically excised glioblastomas. Glioblastoma is an aggressive form of brain cancer known to exhibit the Warburg effect and thus a good candidate for the first attempts at testing DCA in humans. These tumors were then tested in vitro with DCA. The excised tumors did demonstrate evidence of the Warburg effect, and treatment with DCA resulted in significant reversal of some of these features in the excised tumors, particularly mitochondrial hyperpolarization, while not having any effect on normal tissues excised with the cancers."
The second linked article starts off by completely laying into one particular article which claimes DCA was a magic bullet cure for cancer, which of course, it should not have claimed. But that same second linked article also states:
"But there is a germ of truth to the story, in that DCA does have potential"
"DCA also seems like a relatively safe drug. This is encouraging. It means there is a body of work already published on the effects of DCA, which should simplify the process of moving it into clinical trials. The authors, however, very clearly indicate that it won’t be a magic bullet affecting all cancers..."
And:
"We should be urging further investigation of this promising drug with the beginning of clinical trials, but it’s far too early to be babbling about “cancer cures”"
So again, your articles clearly surmise that DCA shows promise, and further reaearch must be undertaken.
As far as my opinion on self medication goes - as you'll know, one in five people is diagnosed with cancer, and given it's severity, I feel that staying informed about alternative treatments which might not appear in NHS treatment protocols is a good course of action. A significant number of my close and extended family have had cancer, or are currently undergoing treatment, hence my interest in off the radar developments. Nothing wrong with sharing that, as long as it's supported by a 'proceed with caution' attitude - hence my request to the OP to familiarise himself with potential drawbacks or dangers.
Just a quick update. I'm finally getting to see my son this Saturday, do really looking forward to it
I got a letter from the Mentals solicitor, it's said that's she's ill able to look after my son and needs £400 a month, oh how I laughed. It says As my sons father, I should be wanting to pay.right.....so as my sons father he should be able to have a relationship with me , she can't swing this as she's sees fit, anyhoooo....
I wrote a strong but concise 3 page letter stating that I receive just disability benefit and with £309, which covers my expenses,fuel, travelling, pre existing debts/commitments, she needs to apply through the correct channels i. Child support agency for maintenance. A quick calculator shows she would only get £5 a week due to my circumstances. A far cry from the £400 a month she thinks she can get by getting her solicitor to write a letter. I also pointed out that from day 1 have have paid and upheld every single penny of the mortgage even through my illness and hav.e been responsible for all maintenance and cost associated with the upkeep and running of the property....etc etc
Game on I say!
On a side note I've taken up a new hobby which has kept me upbeat and in good spirits, and also helps pass the time. Radio controlled racing. I brushed the dust of my old Schumacher Cat and with a few swift upgrades kindly donated by a family member is all up and running ready to race.
I got a letter from the Mentals solicitor, it's said that's she's ill able to look after my son and needs £400 a month, oh how I laughed. It says As my sons father, I should be wanting to pay.right.....so as my sons father he should be able to have a relationship with me , she can't swing this as she's sees fit, anyhoooo....
I wrote a strong but concise 3 page letter stating that I receive just disability benefit and with £309, which covers my expenses,fuel, travelling, pre existing debts/commitments, she needs to apply through the correct channels i. Child support agency for maintenance. A quick calculator shows she would only get £5 a week due to my circumstances. A far cry from the £400 a month she thinks she can get by getting her solicitor to write a letter. I also pointed out that from day 1 have have paid and upheld every single penny of the mortgage even through my illness and hav.e been responsible for all maintenance and cost associated with the upkeep and running of the property....etc etc
Game on I say!
On a side note I've taken up a new hobby which has kept me upbeat and in good spirits, and also helps pass the time. Radio controlled racing. I brushed the dust of my old Schumacher Cat and with a few swift upgrades kindly donated by a family member is all up and running ready to race.
BlackVanDyke said:
That sounds pretty bloody brilliant, all things considered. You're absolutely right - stick to your guns. PS radio controlled racing sounds hilarious, I'd love to have a go sometime - are you in an organised league or something?
Thanks chap. No I'm popping down to an offroad club to join up and race on Sunday, plenty of clubs all over the country if you have a look at the BRCA website, so just club racing for now, whilst I can overcome being a mobile chicane Hi guys, sorry I haven't updated you all but it's nice to know I'm being thought of!
I saw my little one for the first time on the 9th March for the allotted 1.5 hours. Was fantastic, just like old times, he was straight into his presents (Xmas presents from last year where shed refused to accept them) and he loved them. He was happy, talkative - actually a little motor mouth now and so suprised how much he can string proper sentences together now, he was hugging me kissing me and being a cheeky little monkey that i know and not at all "distressed" as she made out. So all good and well until a few days after....
After I'd left to go home and the mental had arrived to collect my son, she apparently stayed behind and talked to the lady who runs the centre. (I'm recounting what the lady told me after). The mental was just b
hing and moaning to her about me, like how I hadn't told her I had IBS when I was younger, wtf that has to do with anything I don't know but she seems to think I withheld it because it developed into cancer 15 years later.
Anyway, the lady at the centre said coming here is a good way to perhaps you and your husband open up communication on mutual ground and build a foundation for the welfare of your son, a valid and reasonable point I would have thought. The mental then went back and told her solicitor that the lady at the centre had made certain comments. Que solicitor phoning lady at the centre and all hell breaking loose. So now the lady at the centre has refused to allow contact at her centre because the way Mentals solicitor spoke to her etc etc....I'm completely out of this and the mental still managed to f@&k this up as well! So Mentals solicitor is in now a panic in fear of breaching the contact order and has written to me twice explaining she's trying to get an urgent commencement at another centre....so now I'm waiting for that!
I got some advice from the lady at the contact centre as she's been in the field 30 years and knows a lot of the judges, solicitors etc and recommended me one of the best solicitors in her view to assist me going forward. Hopefully now that I have DwP ESA i should be entitled to legal aid and have better representation when I push for further contact.
In terms of my health, I had my 5th of 6 chemo last week and was pretty poorly. Developed horrible cold/night sweats and nausea a few hours after being sent home with the infusion and had to be hospitalised for a day. The disconnected the chemo as the Flouraracil wad the likely cause. All bloods, urine and chest x-rays came back fine as they suspected a infected hickman line. All well now and looking forward to the final session but my oncologist has suggested she may delay or cancel the last infusion dependant on my blood results.
To be honest I've been pretty down and depressed past 2-3 weeks, apart from seeing my son, I've had a little cry to myself now and then from what she did to me. Hey it's probably not manly or whatever but I've kept so much in and it still feels surreal that she could do this to me that's its slowly all coming out.
I saw my little one for the first time on the 9th March for the allotted 1.5 hours. Was fantastic, just like old times, he was straight into his presents (Xmas presents from last year where shed refused to accept them) and he loved them. He was happy, talkative - actually a little motor mouth now and so suprised how much he can string proper sentences together now, he was hugging me kissing me and being a cheeky little monkey that i know and not at all "distressed" as she made out. So all good and well until a few days after....
After I'd left to go home and the mental had arrived to collect my son, she apparently stayed behind and talked to the lady who runs the centre. (I'm recounting what the lady told me after). The mental was just b
hing and moaning to her about me, like how I hadn't told her I had IBS when I was younger, wtf that has to do with anything I don't know but she seems to think I withheld it because it developed into cancer 15 years later.Anyway, the lady at the centre said coming here is a good way to perhaps you and your husband open up communication on mutual ground and build a foundation for the welfare of your son, a valid and reasonable point I would have thought. The mental then went back and told her solicitor that the lady at the centre had made certain comments. Que solicitor phoning lady at the centre and all hell breaking loose. So now the lady at the centre has refused to allow contact at her centre because the way Mentals solicitor spoke to her etc etc....I'm completely out of this and the mental still managed to f@&k this up as well! So Mentals solicitor is in now a panic in fear of breaching the contact order and has written to me twice explaining she's trying to get an urgent commencement at another centre....so now I'm waiting for that!
I got some advice from the lady at the contact centre as she's been in the field 30 years and knows a lot of the judges, solicitors etc and recommended me one of the best solicitors in her view to assist me going forward. Hopefully now that I have DwP ESA i should be entitled to legal aid and have better representation when I push for further contact.
In terms of my health, I had my 5th of 6 chemo last week and was pretty poorly. Developed horrible cold/night sweats and nausea a few hours after being sent home with the infusion and had to be hospitalised for a day. The disconnected the chemo as the Flouraracil wad the likely cause. All bloods, urine and chest x-rays came back fine as they suspected a infected hickman line. All well now and looking forward to the final session but my oncologist has suggested she may delay or cancel the last infusion dependant on my blood results.
To be honest I've been pretty down and depressed past 2-3 weeks, apart from seeing my son, I've had a little cry to myself now and then from what she did to me. Hey it's probably not manly or whatever but I've kept so much in and it still feels surreal that she could do this to me that's its slowly all coming out.
Edited by sk7ine man on Friday 29th March 01:29
Edited by sk7ine man on Friday 29th March 01:31
drivin_me_nuts said:
5FU as infusion is quite well known for making people feel utterly crap. It has a whole list of side effects.
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Canc...
Having any infection as a cancer patient has a real risk as your immune system is increasingly under attack. Even if you stop it will take some considerable time for it to recover and as you know, you need to be uber careful around those with even a hint of a cough and a cold.
With regards to being depressed, the first thing to say is, that in itself is very normal and very much par for the course with a cancer diagnosis, treatment and the whole long drawn out process of days waiting for things to happen. My lass had 5FU infusions from a Wednesday to a Monday evening and they were very long weekends. Even writing this brings it all back just how uncomfortable the whole process was/is.
Add to that what you are going through in terms of what the mother of your child has and is still doing to you and it's no wonder that you feel even more depressed. It is often the case that immediately after the initial diagnosis comes a 'diagnosis shock' (That some people never get over). What then often follows is a period of adjustment to the realisation they have cancer and then, as it sinks in and the daily grind of treatment and all the 'gifts' it's undesired entry brings, it's no surprise that you feel depressed.
When my lass was diagnosed I went through that shock and it got worse - much much worse as she went through treatment (She had TPF which I suspect is not far off the regime you have). Crying, grieving, anger, frustration, hatred, depression... they are all aspects and facets of cancer. They are the 'gifts' that cellular mutation brings into your life.
Only you know how you get through every day - and the days are long and hard, but know this, you are not alone and for every moment that you cry in hurt and pain there are those that from a distance wish nothing but the best for you.
I do have some suggestion of a more pragmatic nature - you really REALLY need to talk about how you feel. There are many ways to do this and just writing what you wrote here is a very positive step in saying how you feel - I did and quite literally PH saved my sanity. Please do keep on talking, whether it be on line, to Macmillian, the Samaritans, friends - even to yourself. I used to do that. I used to talk to my self all the time. I found it immensely beneficial to just say out loud - to 'admit' how I felt. I felt that saying it out loud meant that I was being honest to my self.
If I can in any way help, PM me. I haven't walked in your shoes in so far as in my body cancer has blessed me with it's absence. But I do have some some understanding of those spiky gifts of which you write. By all means PM me. My very best wishes to you brother PHer.
Wow, thank you. Thanks to all of you...I really mean it.http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Canc...
Having any infection as a cancer patient has a real risk as your immune system is increasingly under attack. Even if you stop it will take some considerable time for it to recover and as you know, you need to be uber careful around those with even a hint of a cough and a cold.
With regards to being depressed, the first thing to say is, that in itself is very normal and very much par for the course with a cancer diagnosis, treatment and the whole long drawn out process of days waiting for things to happen. My lass had 5FU infusions from a Wednesday to a Monday evening and they were very long weekends. Even writing this brings it all back just how uncomfortable the whole process was/is.
Add to that what you are going through in terms of what the mother of your child has and is still doing to you and it's no wonder that you feel even more depressed. It is often the case that immediately after the initial diagnosis comes a 'diagnosis shock' (That some people never get over). What then often follows is a period of adjustment to the realisation they have cancer and then, as it sinks in and the daily grind of treatment and all the 'gifts' it's undesired entry brings, it's no surprise that you feel depressed.
When my lass was diagnosed I went through that shock and it got worse - much much worse as she went through treatment (She had TPF which I suspect is not far off the regime you have). Crying, grieving, anger, frustration, hatred, depression... they are all aspects and facets of cancer. They are the 'gifts' that cellular mutation brings into your life.
Only you know how you get through every day - and the days are long and hard, but know this, you are not alone and for every moment that you cry in hurt and pain there are those that from a distance wish nothing but the best for you.
I do have some suggestion of a more pragmatic nature - you really REALLY need to talk about how you feel. There are many ways to do this and just writing what you wrote here is a very positive step in saying how you feel - I did and quite literally PH saved my sanity. Please do keep on talking, whether it be on line, to Macmillian, the Samaritans, friends - even to yourself. I used to do that. I used to talk to my self all the time. I found it immensely beneficial to just say out loud - to 'admit' how I felt. I felt that saying it out loud meant that I was being honest to my self.
If I can in any way help, PM me. I haven't walked in your shoes in so far as in my body cancer has blessed me with it's absence. But I do have some some understanding of those spiky gifts of which you write. By all means PM me. My very best wishes to you brother PHer.
Even in the previous posts/thread I used to have years running down my face as I was writing and reading thr support from you guys has helped me no end in that people do give a sh!t. That in itself has pulled me through no end.
The RC racing is keeping me busy and filling up my days.I'm hoping to enter my first race meeting this Sunday
Was sitting watching The TT legends recording from ItV with my dad...
Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds now
I love my dad!
Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds now
I love my dad!Corpulent Tosser said:
Yes indeed.
My daughter has recently finished chemo and radiotherapy, and is currently receiving herceptin, she is a grown woman but still my little girl and I hate seeing what she has been going through.
OP, you have been treated very badly by someone you least exepected to do that but it seems you have a good family to help you through. I wish you the very best with your treatment and for a long happy life after it.
I wish her all the best! Thank you.My daughter has recently finished chemo and radiotherapy, and is currently receiving herceptin, she is a grown woman but still my little girl and I hate seeing what she has been going through.
OP, you have been treated very badly by someone you least exepected to do that but it seems you have a good family to help you through. I wish you the very best with your treatment and for a long happy life after it.
Thanks guys, I feel like a little kid again but something else to look forward to and hopefully aid my recovery.
Evening Brothers (& sisters) from other Mothers just a small update. Emailed the Mentals solicitor to ask whats going on with meeting my son at the new centre as I have tried calling them and emailing them but no reply. She said apparently me and the mental will be interviewed this Saturday with other parents, wtf? Then hopefully after that be given dates. It's been almost a month now since I last saw him.
Also from the previous comments made should I file a complaint against her for now causing me to miss seeing my son? Is this also a breach of the contact order? My cousin seems to think so but I fail to see how as technically it was the woman at the contact centre who refused further sessions at her centre not the solicitor but she and the mental initiated all this BS to cause a halt to the sessions?
My last chemo infusion is next Monday. The Radiotherapy dept at Charing Cross phoned me today to book me into having a planning scan the following week. The nurse that called was also discussing effects & side effects of having Radiotherapy and one of the things that has got me worried is the strong possibility of developing secondary's after having Radio
Seems there's a lot more side effects than chemo, including impotency and incontinence, soreness, bleeding, nausea, fatigue. Not looking forward to it. This is 5 days a week over 5 weeks as an outpatient.
In other news, I've found a bike going with my dad on Saturday to have a look and possibly even bring home. It's a GXSR 1000 K6, I last had a R1 5VY and love the lazy power of litre bikes even though ill not even be using close to 10% of its ability. Interestingly it's apparently been a ex-police bike (undercover), so a little dubious about its condition so we'll see on Saturday!
Has anyone here done/do any Airsoft Skirmishing? A friend of mine has suggested going along fortnightly to a place in Peterboghorror and having a blast, literally! Seems cool at first but 1) Running round dressed like Special forces shooting from a gun shouting "pow pow" sounds like something more suited to my son 2) seems expensive if I have to buy my own gear 3) I don't need any more hobbies now! .....must resist! Feedback welcome.
just a small update. Emailed the Mentals solicitor to ask whats going on with meeting my son at the new centre as I have tried calling them and emailing them but no reply. She said apparently me and the mental will be interviewed this Saturday with other parents, wtf? Then hopefully after that be given dates. It's been almost a month now since I last saw him. Also from the previous comments made should I file a complaint against her for now causing me to miss seeing my son? Is this also a breach of the contact order? My cousin seems to think so but I fail to see how as technically it was the woman at the contact centre who refused further sessions at her centre not the solicitor but she and the mental initiated all this BS to cause a halt to the sessions?
My last chemo infusion is next Monday. The Radiotherapy dept at Charing Cross phoned me today to book me into having a planning scan the following week. The nurse that called was also discussing effects & side effects of having Radiotherapy and one of the things that has got me worried is the strong possibility of developing secondary's after having Radio
Seems there's a lot more side effects than chemo, including impotency and incontinence, soreness, bleeding, nausea, fatigue. Not looking forward to it. This is 5 days a week over 5 weeks as an outpatient.In other news, I've found a bike
going with my dad on Saturday to have a look and possibly even bring home. It's a GXSR 1000 K6, I last had a R1 5VY and love the lazy power of litre bikes even though ill not even be using close to 10% of its ability. Interestingly it's apparently been a ex-police bike (undercover), so a little dubious about its condition so we'll see on Saturday!Has anyone here done/do any Airsoft Skirmishing? A friend of mine has suggested going along fortnightly to a place in Peterboghorror and having a blast, literally! Seems cool at first but 1) Running round dressed like Special forces shooting from a gun shouting "pow pow" sounds like something more suited to my son 2) seems expensive if I have to buy my own gear 3) I don't need any more hobbies now! .....must resist! Feedback welcome.
Edited by sk7ine man on Wednesday 3rd April 17:40
mjb1 said:
It's probably a bit late now to complain - should've kicked up a stink at the time. Her solicitor was clearly shaky about it then, knew they were on thin ice (and they are likely starting to see through her themselves, after this incident). You should have pushed for them to remedy the situation at the time - forced them (and the mental one) to apologise for causing offence. Now all you can really do is log it as factually as possible (get something in writing from the previous centre if you can), and keep it tucked away with the rest of your ammunition against the mental one.
Ah good thinking, ill pop down and see her later this week and try and get a letter from her. I'm also seeing my new solicitor next week so really wanna kick some ass nowThanks chaps. A meet would be good. I'm hoping to try and get out this Sunday to BSB at Brands.
I've had some awesome advice, inspiration and encouragement from all of you on this thread and the previous one, its really kept me going. It's not a nice feeling sometimes thinking about living the rest of your life without a partner but I guess that's the hand we're dealt sometimes and just have to get on with it...and I guess in someways it would be unfair, for me to be with anyone who would have to put up with my illness and the risks involved...sorry just thinking out loud and feeling sorry for myself!
I've had some awesome advice, inspiration and encouragement from all of you on this thread and the previous one, its really kept me going. It's not a nice feeling sometimes thinking about living the rest of your life without a partner but I guess that's the hand we're dealt sometimes and just have to get on with it...and I guess in someways it would be unfair, for me to be with anyone who would have to put up with my illness and the risks involved...sorry just thinking out loud and feeling sorry for myself!
Corpulent Tosser said:
My duaghter had more side effects with the Chemo than Radio, hers was only for 3 weeks though, she did experience redness of the skin and there was concern over the skin breaking and leaving her open to infections, which as she had lymph nodes removed increased the concern. Anyway it wasn't as bad as she expected, so fingers crossed they are giving you worst case scenario and it will all go well for you.
In the meantime enjoy your new bike.
Thanks buddy. I've got to go squirt in a pot next week as I'll be impotent after it, that's a certainty I'm told. I'm wondering whether to bother as I hardly think anyone would wanna be with me after all this but hey ho. All this has really hit my self confidence hard.In the meantime enjoy your new bike.
Went to look at a bike in the bitter cold, wasn't in great condition so I'm looking at the Gixxer as mentioned before on Saturday morning. Sellers an old chappie and quite enthusiastic and knowledge about the bike so hoping its a good un. If I do get it I'm planning a little trip to Brands on Sunday with it.
BlackVanDyke said:
Definitely bother. Firstly, yes, as your body heals so will your headspace and the whole relationships thing won't seem so unlikely. With the stunts your ex has pulled you're gonna have a fair bit of healing to do from that too but heal you will. That's a given. Obviously the non-given is wanting to be a dad again - but at risk of stating the bleeding obvious, freezing sperm doesn't actually oblige you to use it in the future - it just means that you can, if you ever want to. As insurance plans go it has a fair bit to recommend it - only costs a bit of time.
I think I just needed to sleep on it, as that makes a lot of sense now, as silly as it may seem. It's funny how even the simple decisions & choices become so confusing and obscure.oddman said:
Do you mean infertile?
If the treatment might damage nerves in the pelvis there is a possibility of impotence but I'd be surprised if they would tell you it was certain.
I'm with the others. Banking your sperm is a no brainer. I can fully understand why contemplating a future child must be difficult in your situation but if you abandon the possibility of having another child you might be seeding unecessary difficulties for yourself in future relationships.
Sorry, infertile as well as impotent as it does damage the nerves, she didn't exactly say it was 100% it would happen but more than likely. They're zapping a large area of the pelvis and with the tumour being a rectal carcinoma, the genitalia are unfortunately right in the way If the treatment might damage nerves in the pelvis there is a possibility of impotence but I'd be surprised if they would tell you it was certain.
I'm with the others. Banking your sperm is a no brainer. I can fully understand why contemplating a future child must be difficult in your situation but if you abandon the possibility of having another child you might be seeding unecessary difficulties for yourself in future relationships.
. My planning CT scan is on Monday and apparently going to have small tattoos on me? I really didn't think of it like that, so thank you for helping. It's just as Garyhun said about a new 'normal'. Simple decisions become so obscured. I've for the past few nights been having dreams of being back with the mental, which are really depressing me for a good few hours when I wake up. By the evening I'm ok again but then back to sleep and its such a vicious circle. It's funny how you never think these things would happen to you. A few years ago, looking back, I had a beautiful wife, an amazing son, great job, bought our home and life was nigh on perfect, we had fairly simple lives and I had little want for anything else. Granted we had our problems but I pedalled on and tried to create a good environment for my son to grow up in, Little did I expect everything to come crashing down overnight
I had a call from the new family centre in Ealing today. They're going to be interviewing the Mental tomorrow and myself separately on the 13th. The sessions will start again on the 27th. That's almost 2 months after I last saw him
I felt like snapping at the lady but she's only a volunteer and its completely not her fault, just felt like taking out my frustration out on someone.
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