how to get a 3 1/2 yr old to sleep?
Discussion
Risotto said:
We used a Gro-clock but no two kids are ever the same so can't guarantee it would work with yours.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Gro-Company-HJ008-Gro-...
yep bought one of those 2 weeks ago didnt work!http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Gro-Company-HJ008-Gro-...
ewenm said:
Doesn't take long either to change the behaviour.
Edit: Although we nipped it in the bud when she first moved into a bed, she's now nearly 4 and sleeps really well.
should have done it when she was a baby but were too weak Edit: Although we nipped it in the bud when she first moved into a bed, she's now nearly 4 and sleeps really well.
Edited by ewenm on Thursday 31st July 20:39
guess gonna have to do it. wheres my earplugs
you big softy! Yes it will work. Sir Bagalot said:
^^This.
First time we tried routine we were up and down the stairs for 3.5 hours
The next night was just as bad, but they eventually got the routine.
Start it, and stick with it.
thanks looks like its the only answer. anyone ever lock their bedroom door and let them get on with it or is that too dangerous?First time we tried routine we were up and down the stairs for 3.5 hours
The next night was just as bad, but they eventually got the routine.
Start it, and stick with it.
prand said:
We have did once or twice when things got really out of hand, but it was the threat of locking the door that worked more often. There was a period when our two were around 2 yrs old when they simply would not stay in bed at bedtimes - up to 3hrs of crying, screaming and coming out of their rooms. This was really only a period of a few weeks though.
We would repeatedly go back up, put them in their bed, rinse, repeat as long as necessary. Often they would be out again before you'd shut their door. Sometimes I would hold the door shut with them yanking and banging away at the other side. Then the final straw, after many warnings, every now and then would be to lock it.
For me, this became a battle of wills. No matter the bloodcurdling noises coming from the bedroom, pleas, tears, bangs etc, I was not going to give in. I know friends who have allowed their kids to dictate things and they are miserable, sleep in separate rooms as one of the kids has to sleep in their bed, or one of them sleeps in the kids room, are forced to get up at 5.30 all days and the bedtime routine lasts 2.5 hrs. This is with 5-6 yr old kids too.
"sleep in separate rooms as one of the kids has to sleep in their bed, or one of them sleeps in the kids room, are forced to get up at 5.30 all days and the bedtime routine lasts 2.5 hrs"We would repeatedly go back up, put them in their bed, rinse, repeat as long as necessary. Often they would be out again before you'd shut their door. Sometimes I would hold the door shut with them yanking and banging away at the other side. Then the final straw, after many warnings, every now and then would be to lock it.
For me, this became a battle of wills. No matter the bloodcurdling noises coming from the bedroom, pleas, tears, bangs etc, I was not going to give in. I know friends who have allowed their kids to dictate things and they are miserable, sleep in separate rooms as one of the kids has to sleep in their bed, or one of them sleeps in the kids room, are forced to get up at 5.30 all days and the bedtime routine lasts 2.5 hrs. This is with 5-6 yr old kids too.
yeah thats us! thanks all - all good advice guess i need to toughen up and nip it in the bud now
Fastdruid said:
Another vote for MTFU. They're pushing boundaries at that age and you *have* to be consistent and not give in.
Our first was a nightmare to get off to sleep, we 'cracked' at 5mo and enforced a routine. It made a massive difference and while it changed slightly when our second came along both of them are *really* good sleepers now. Our little one has always been probably because we enforced the routine from a very young age.
Relating somewhat to your problem now, the first night when we removed the cot side wasn't fun, we just returned him to bed, took about 2 hours the first night. Put him in bed, say "night night, time for sleep", leave. Repeat 5000 times. Second night he tried it once.
A while later when he started coming out of his room we put a stair gate on his door and repeated taking him back to bed. First night again, lots of times. Second night a few times. After that he'd try occasionally. After a while when he was consistently being good we told him that we'd leave the gate open if he stayed in his room until his "night time clock" (gro-clock) said it was morning. After a while we took it off totally, although had to replace it once after he refused to go back to bed and threatened him with it (always carry through your threats). I think we took it off when he was about 3 1/2 or so.
Essentially our routine is:
8PM bed time. Alarm (on phone) goes off. Sometimes if they're in the middle of things and it's only a few minutes will let them stay a few minutes more but once it's been announced "bed time" that's it, no arguments, its upstairs to bed or reflection step.
Then get them changed, teeth, stories (two books or two chapters from long books), while little one has milk, older one (4yo) has last wee then to bed, set gro-clock[1] 60 seconds of cuddle then leave[2]. Youngest (2yo) finishes milk then cuddles and bed (in cot still).
It's rare that we hear a peep until after 7am. If my eldest comes in before his "night-time clock" says it's "morning" then he gets asked to go back to bed. If he refuses he's taken back.
Things to remember are
1) Routine.
2) Consistency
3) Never give up or back down.
4) If you make a threat carry it out.
5) Don't make a threat you're not prepared to carry out.
Good luck!
[1] Hell *I* have to look at a clock to know if it's morning or the middle of the night, how is a 3yo meant to know it's not morning when it's bright and sunny outside?
[2] Again this is down to setting boundaries, he gets a single cuddle of 60s as otherwise he'll want to cuddle all night/fall asleep with you cuddling him. Again there was tears but now he knows that it's 60s cuddle and he's happy.
alarm for night time seems a good ideaOur first was a nightmare to get off to sleep, we 'cracked' at 5mo and enforced a routine. It made a massive difference and while it changed slightly when our second came along both of them are *really* good sleepers now. Our little one has always been probably because we enforced the routine from a very young age.
Relating somewhat to your problem now, the first night when we removed the cot side wasn't fun, we just returned him to bed, took about 2 hours the first night. Put him in bed, say "night night, time for sleep", leave. Repeat 5000 times. Second night he tried it once.
A while later when he started coming out of his room we put a stair gate on his door and repeated taking him back to bed. First night again, lots of times. Second night a few times. After that he'd try occasionally. After a while when he was consistently being good we told him that we'd leave the gate open if he stayed in his room until his "night time clock" (gro-clock) said it was morning. After a while we took it off totally, although had to replace it once after he refused to go back to bed and threatened him with it (always carry through your threats). I think we took it off when he was about 3 1/2 or so.
Essentially our routine is:
8PM bed time. Alarm (on phone) goes off. Sometimes if they're in the middle of things and it's only a few minutes will let them stay a few minutes more but once it's been announced "bed time" that's it, no arguments, its upstairs to bed or reflection step.
Then get them changed, teeth, stories (two books or two chapters from long books), while little one has milk, older one (4yo) has last wee then to bed, set gro-clock[1] 60 seconds of cuddle then leave[2]. Youngest (2yo) finishes milk then cuddles and bed (in cot still).
It's rare that we hear a peep until after 7am. If my eldest comes in before his "night-time clock" says it's "morning" then he gets asked to go back to bed. If he refuses he's taken back.
Things to remember are
1) Routine.
2) Consistency
3) Never give up or back down.
4) If you make a threat carry it out.
5) Don't make a threat you're not prepared to carry out.
Good luck!
[1] Hell *I* have to look at a clock to know if it's morning or the middle of the night, how is a 3yo meant to know it's not morning when it's bright and sunny outside?
[2] Again this is down to setting boundaries, he gets a single cuddle of 60s as otherwise he'll want to cuddle all night/fall asleep with you cuddling him. Again there was tears but now he knows that it's 60s cuddle and he's happy.
Blib said:
Boundaries without consequences are not boundaries. We've just spent a week's holiday with a family with two boys, one ten the other twelve. The kids rule the roost. They do what they want, ignore instructions from the parents, moan, cry, sulk and are directly offensive to mum and dad. Frankly, they are out of control.
The parents are at their wits end. But, the problem is obvious to any objective observer. It is that in their desperate desire to be their childrens' mates, they are weak and ineffective. They threaten the kids with all types of sanctions when they play up but never, ever stick to them. So, the kids just carry on as normal. They know that eventually, the parents will cave in. And they do.
There were four families on this holiday. Nine adults, nine children & these two children were far and away the most badly behaved. It was obvious to everyone. It was also excruciatingly obvious to the parents.
What is much, much worse is that the children themselves have been harmed by this. They are really unhappy. The eldest one is verging on being disturbed. It is a very sad situation to behold.
I call such parenting abuse.
unfortunately they dont come with instructions though. which i guess is why god invented pistonheads.The parents are at their wits end. But, the problem is obvious to any objective observer. It is that in their desperate desire to be their childrens' mates, they are weak and ineffective. They threaten the kids with all types of sanctions when they play up but never, ever stick to them. So, the kids just carry on as normal. They know that eventually, the parents will cave in. And they do.
There were four families on this holiday. Nine adults, nine children & these two children were far and away the most badly behaved. It was obvious to everyone. It was also excruciatingly obvious to the parents.
What is much, much worse is that the children themselves have been harmed by this. They are really unhappy. The eldest one is verging on being disturbed. It is a very sad situation to behold.
I call such parenting abuse.
prand said:
Damn this topic for putting the knockers on my life!
After my smug posts earlier about my lovely kids being compliant and good sleepers, out of the blue my 3yr old boy has now started to wake up several times a night any time from 9.00pm-5.00am for no apparent reason. It's not too bad, but the usual routine of quick comforting, back into bed, rinse and repeat is back to settle him back to his usual sleeping pattern through from 7-7.
We're not quite sure where this is coming from, possibly some new teeth coming through, sickness of some sort or disturbance around the home or at his nursery (he's moving up a class soon, and that certainly affected his big sister when she did it so could be that).
I actually suspect he is reading PH and doing this to wind up his dad!
glad he got my text After my smug posts earlier about my lovely kids being compliant and good sleepers, out of the blue my 3yr old boy has now started to wake up several times a night any time from 9.00pm-5.00am for no apparent reason. It's not too bad, but the usual routine of quick comforting, back into bed, rinse and repeat is back to settle him back to his usual sleeping pattern through from 7-7.
We're not quite sure where this is coming from, possibly some new teeth coming through, sickness of some sort or disturbance around the home or at his nursery (he's moving up a class soon, and that certainly affected his big sister when she did it so could be that).
I actually suspect he is reading PH and doing this to wind up his dad!
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