Ex Wife Emigrating to Oz and Taking my 14 year old with her!
Discussion
So, after 1 1/2 years of court hearings and CAFCASS (child family court arbitrators) meetings the judge has today agreed for my ex to emigrate to Oz, taking my 14 year old daughter with her. Initially my daughter didn't want to go but over the last year she has been manipulated and brain washed into believing that moving to Australia, leaving her family (I have a big family including 3 grandparents aunts, uncles and cousins) and friends behind is a good idea.
We are very close, spending every weekend together, doing all kinds of stuff but I must admit that over the last few months, as she has been turning from a girl into a fully blown teenager/woman she has been more tricky to please at the weekends especially as she wants to sleep until midday! Music and boys have become more important in her life than her Dad so maybe a move to Oz for a few years will do her good. Obviously I am gutted....more than gutted...devastated, but I suppose life goes on and, hopefully, she'll return in a couple of years when she realises that Austrailia ain't all it's cracked up to be especially when you take away the sun, BBQ's and beaches!
Will be odd having my weekends free to do whatever me and my Mrs want to do, most of my mates are tied up with their kids and will be for years to come.....South London ain't a cheap place to get a flat these days! Emotionally, I'm going to struggle at first, being a Dad was the most important job in my life, I relished the challenge of keeping her amused and happy when I had her....Still, as long as she's happy eh?
We are very close, spending every weekend together, doing all kinds of stuff but I must admit that over the last few months, as she has been turning from a girl into a fully blown teenager/woman she has been more tricky to please at the weekends especially as she wants to sleep until midday! Music and boys have become more important in her life than her Dad so maybe a move to Oz for a few years will do her good. Obviously I am gutted....more than gutted...devastated, but I suppose life goes on and, hopefully, she'll return in a couple of years when she realises that Austrailia ain't all it's cracked up to be especially when you take away the sun, BBQ's and beaches!
Will be odd having my weekends free to do whatever me and my Mrs want to do, most of my mates are tied up with their kids and will be for years to come.....South London ain't a cheap place to get a flat these days! Emotionally, I'm going to struggle at first, being a Dad was the most important job in my life, I relished the challenge of keeping her amused and happy when I had her....Still, as long as she's happy eh?
She'll be at a private school although she's not amazingly academic. I reckon a few years with that 
of an ex wife of mine and, hopefully, she'll be begging to come home! I've also hear that Brisbane ain't exactly the centre of culture so when I send her videos of me at various music festivals, travelling round Europe, watching Palace win the Premiership, having snowball fights in the garden, eating a real English breakfast, sipping Pimms in a beautiful country pub, going to Borough market to buy Cornish pasties...I could go on....she might want to come back!
of an ex wife of mine and, hopefully, she'll be begging to come home! I've also hear that Brisbane ain't exactly the centre of culture so when I send her videos of me at various music festivals, travelling round Europe, watching Palace win the Premiership, having snowball fights in the garden, eating a real English breakfast, sipping Pimms in a beautiful country pub, going to Borough market to buy Cornish pasties...I could go on....she might want to come back!Wacky Racer said:
Not such a big disaster as it may seem, whilst at the same time I do feel sorry for you.
Look on the bright side.
Your ex wife is as far away from you as she could possibly be.....
With modern technology, she is as far away from you as Skype or IM.
Photographs can be sent over to OZ (and back) in two seconds. Think of the old days when a letter took six weeks to arrive.
You have seen the best years of her growing up, it's quite normal for teenagers to push their parents into the background a
bit, and focus on things that are important to them.....boyfriends, fashion etc.
Chin up, be glad that she is going to broaden her horizons a lot, she can always come back in 24 hours.
ps. I have a very good friend who moved to Brisbane twenty years ago, we chat on the net most nights. (morning for him)
Blimey, you have hit every nail on the head. You've managed to sum up what me and Ladybenny have been focusing on...the positives are there and it's glass half full as far as I'm concerned. As long as she's healthy and happy that's what matters. I know it's a cliche but just look at the news at the moment, you realise that your problems ain't worth worrying too much about!Look on the bright side.
Your ex wife is as far away from you as she could possibly be.....
With modern technology, she is as far away from you as Skype or IM.
Photographs can be sent over to OZ (and back) in two seconds. Think of the old days when a letter took six weeks to arrive.
You have seen the best years of her growing up, it's quite normal for teenagers to push their parents into the background a
bit, and focus on things that are important to them.....boyfriends, fashion etc.
Chin up, be glad that she is going to broaden her horizons a lot, she can always come back in 24 hours.
ps. I have a very good friend who moved to Brisbane twenty years ago, we chat on the net most nights. (morning for him)
WinstonWolf said:
14 1/2 going on fifteen, she'll turn into a proper teenager very shortly and want nothing to do with you, you've had a lucky escape 
Spoken as a parent of fifteen and sixteen year old girls
I know mine live here half the time but I only see them for about three minutes a day and then they only communicate in grunts... In fact you'll probably communicate more with your daughter than most parents who have them living at home
Fantastic Spoken as a parent of fifteen and sixteen year old girls
I know mine live here half the time but I only see them for about three minutes a day and then they only communicate in grunts... In fact you'll probably communicate more with your daughter than most parents who have them living at home
I must admit that I did have to think twice about posting on here but your posts have made my day!Prawnboy said:
how does the court come to the decision she should be allowed to be taken to the other side of the world from most of her family, seems nuts.
It is nuts but the bottom line is that she says wants to go....albeit with a massive amount of pressure applied by her mother. It would take ages to lists all the court hearings, meetings and stressful conversations that have been had over the last 1 1/12 years. The bottom line is that my beautiful girl is leaving.....I'll deal with it.lord trumpton said:
I remember my 19yr old daughter when she turned 14. OMG it was like a light switch.
One minute I was the love of her life, held hands, had cuddles, talked about everything, called me daddy etc etc, the next minute I was an outcast. I quickly felt clumsy, old and boring as I failed to bond with her new world. Just talking to her seemed to irritate her
I think that in a few years (hopefully after 18) she will return a young woman with her own mind and ability to make her own decisions and come and live with you. once the beach, cool accents and party life has wained she will be missing you and blighty
Hope it works out - nothing is forever; she'll be back mate as you will always be her daddy.
I must admit.....I'm welling up here! Thanks. Lord One minute I was the love of her life, held hands, had cuddles, talked about everything, called me daddy etc etc, the next minute I was an outcast. I quickly felt clumsy, old and boring as I failed to bond with her new world. Just talking to her seemed to irritate her
I think that in a few years (hopefully after 18) she will return a young woman with her own mind and ability to make her own decisions and come and live with you. once the beach, cool accents and party life has wained she will be missing you and blighty
Hope it works out - nothing is forever; she'll be back mate as you will always be her daddy.
So, my daughter has just texted me from Heathrow's departure lounge....her mother didn't even tell me that they had tickets and were on their way to Austrailia! I couldn't even say good bye properly! To be honest, I think its worked out well in that we didn't have a long goodbye but still want a bh her mother is. I just have to look forward to Christmas now when, supposedly, I will have her for 4 weeks but I'm not holding my breath.
h her mother is. I just have to look forward to Christmas now when, supposedly, I will have her for 4 weeks but I'm not holding my breath.Edited by Lordbenny on Wednesday 27th August 22:37
Pit Pony said:
A mate of mine married an Australian lady, they had 2 kids and got divorced and he now live in Australia in order to maintain weekly contact with his kids.
My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
My life is a bit more complicated than that! I have things in the UK that will stop me going over there to be with her. Your comment sounds like I am being a bad dad for not going to live in Australia. Jesus, just read what you have just written man! If only life was as simple as that! My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
Adam B said:
What an utter bh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmas
Yes, I have a court order stating that I must be able to contact her via FaceTime, skype, email etc, to have contact with her school and to see her for four weeks at Christmas and three weeks in our summer as well as being able to meet up with her at other times but believe it or not the court order only applies in the UK! What a fh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmasking joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there! TinyCappo said:
And I take it she has no reason to actually sign it out in Oz. Shes not forced to sign it?
You guessed it!....the only saving grace is that my daughter is 15 in a couple of weeks so is getting wiser to her mothers controlling ways and will be able, hopefully, to control her own life more and more as the years go by.I am fully aware of the Australian schools holiday system. She is in a private college and I have a court order that expressly states the dates which she can come over here.
They are 4 weeks over Christmas, 2 weeks in our summer and a further two weeks either in the UK or at another destination specified by me (Singapore, Thailand etc)
They are 4 weeks over Christmas, 2 weeks in our summer and a further two weeks either in the UK or at another destination specified by me (Singapore, Thailand etc)
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff