Wedding nonsense
Discussion
No problem with marriage, in fact one day I will get married... but the actual wedding day itself just fills me with dread.
I've been to about a million weddings this year and am thoroughly wedding'd out. The overriding feeling on these days is sheer boredom. Especially for church weddings. Then come the speeches which all together see me glazing over for the next hour whilst people try to be funny or say something gushing. I wish just once the FiL would stand up and say the groom is a t
t or something...just to spice it up.
On top of that, not one wedding was what you would call individual or different. They were all the bloody same and then there is the sheer nonsense added on top such as:
Comedy table center pieces so big you can't see the person you're trying to talk to across the table.
One wedding had two bands play
ridiculous amounts of food
Customised sweets with the event and names on and other daft "favors"/freebies.
An ice sculpture with the seating plan in it. Why? especially as the morning after we found it slung, unceremoniously, into a near by hedge.
Presents for kids who did the decent thing and kept schtum for 5 minutes during the ceremony as a well done.
videographers doing a "marryoke". Or in other words being forced against your wishes to sing and dance in front of a camera for the married couples later amusement. Not being extrovert in anyway, this was seriously uncomfortable for me.
Comedy custom t-shirts for the wedding party the day after
Holding it at some posh country house on the condition you get most of your guests to fork out £200 a night to stay there as well.
Starting at 12 and going on into the small hours...far to long.
A photobooth thingies that see most of the guests queuing outside of for the majority of the night. Or getting everyone a polaroid/dispoable to take gash, unusable pictures with. All of which will be at the dinner table.
A huge wedding cake + cup cakes + cheese + sweet stalls
the list goes on and on....like those planning these things are more bothered about the day and showing off than the event and actually getting married! All that extraneous fluff nonsense must cost a fortune!
And on top of the cost of your outfit (well I wore the same suit to all, but of course the OH couldn't be seen dead doing that), the extortionate hotel, the full tank of fuel for the round trip just to get there, they ask you to contribute to their honeymoon! Presumably because they just spanked all the cash on frivolous guff like flowers, a star light roof for the marquee and nice 3 course slap up meal for 100+.
Surely there are like minded people on here who want to regal me with tales of unnecessary wedding extravagance so I don't feel like I am the only one who thinks its insane???
I've been to about a million weddings this year and am thoroughly wedding'd out. The overriding feeling on these days is sheer boredom. Especially for church weddings. Then come the speeches which all together see me glazing over for the next hour whilst people try to be funny or say something gushing. I wish just once the FiL would stand up and say the groom is a t
t or something...just to spice it up.On top of that, not one wedding was what you would call individual or different. They were all the bloody same and then there is the sheer nonsense added on top such as:
Comedy table center pieces so big you can't see the person you're trying to talk to across the table.
One wedding had two bands play
ridiculous amounts of food
Customised sweets with the event and names on and other daft "favors"/freebies.
An ice sculpture with the seating plan in it. Why? especially as the morning after we found it slung, unceremoniously, into a near by hedge.
Presents for kids who did the decent thing and kept schtum for 5 minutes during the ceremony as a well done.
videographers doing a "marryoke". Or in other words being forced against your wishes to sing and dance in front of a camera for the married couples later amusement. Not being extrovert in anyway, this was seriously uncomfortable for me.
Comedy custom t-shirts for the wedding party the day after
Holding it at some posh country house on the condition you get most of your guests to fork out £200 a night to stay there as well.
Starting at 12 and going on into the small hours...far to long.
A photobooth thingies that see most of the guests queuing outside of for the majority of the night. Or getting everyone a polaroid/dispoable to take gash, unusable pictures with. All of which will be at the dinner table.
A huge wedding cake + cup cakes + cheese + sweet stalls
the list goes on and on....like those planning these things are more bothered about the day and showing off than the event and actually getting married! All that extraneous fluff nonsense must cost a fortune!
And on top of the cost of your outfit (well I wore the same suit to all, but of course the OH couldn't be seen dead doing that), the extortionate hotel, the full tank of fuel for the round trip just to get there, they ask you to contribute to their honeymoon! Presumably because they just spanked all the cash on frivolous guff like flowers, a star light roof for the marquee and nice 3 course slap up meal for 100+.
Surely there are like minded people on here who want to regal me with tales of unnecessary wedding extravagance so I don't feel like I am the only one who thinks its insane???
0000 said:
Otispunkmeyer said:
Then come the speeches which all together see me glazing over for the next hour whilst people try to be funny or say something gushing.
When you get there, do stick yours on youtube for us.speedysoprano said:
Ours was nothing like that. Had it at my parents' house in Australia (which is enormous by UK standards, I guess, but my folks aren't ridiculously loaded), 60ish guests, a civil ceremony that was about 20 mins long and completely non-religious, heck it even had some HUMOUR in it...
The reception was a great big party. We'd decorated it ourselves (with my Mum's help), hired tables/chairs/plates/glasses etc and the catering was all done by me, Mum and my Nan. Short speeches, tasty buffet, plenty of booze, and a party that lasted til 3am.
Oh, and the ceremony was at 5pm, so it wasn't a ridiculously long night, either. The formalities were over by around 8.30 and if people needed to leave after that it wasn't a big deal, but most of them stuck around til at least midnight. That was the best part - no need to get out of the venue, we could party as long as we liked and then just crawl into bed.
Oh, and I wore a knee length red dress. Looked much better on me than a white one.
I guess the point is that we decided what WE wanted, what would reflect us and our family and friends, and went with that. It wasn't an expensive or overtly lavish wedding, but there was more than enough of everything that mattered.
Actually, it was a pretty epic day, and one we'll remember forever as being very happy.
Sounds ideal as weddings go. For some of these I've been to I am sure there are games of keeping up with the jones' and one-upmanship going on.The reception was a great big party. We'd decorated it ourselves (with my Mum's help), hired tables/chairs/plates/glasses etc and the catering was all done by me, Mum and my Nan. Short speeches, tasty buffet, plenty of booze, and a party that lasted til 3am.
Oh, and the ceremony was at 5pm, so it wasn't a ridiculously long night, either. The formalities were over by around 8.30 and if people needed to leave after that it wasn't a big deal, but most of them stuck around til at least midnight. That was the best part - no need to get out of the venue, we could party as long as we liked and then just crawl into bed.
Oh, and I wore a knee length red dress. Looked much better on me than a white one.
I guess the point is that we decided what WE wanted, what would reflect us and our family and friends, and went with that. It wasn't an expensive or overtly lavish wedding, but there was more than enough of everything that mattered.
Actually, it was a pretty epic day, and one we'll remember forever as being very happy.
5potTurbo said:
0000 said:
Otispunkmeyer said:
Then come the speeches which all together see me glazing over for the next hour whilst people try to be funny or say something gushing.
When you get there, do stick yours on youtube for us.
OP: If that is really how you feel, I suggest you shouldn't go to so many weddings, you moaning old
. 
I've already told her if she wants me to get married any time soon.... don't goad me into anymore weddings. The more I go to the less I want to go to my own.
DoubleSix said:
HereBeMonsters said:
Agree about the "please contribute to our honeymoon" st though.
fk off. I'm not paying so you can go on holiday. If you need something that you will use for years to come, I will happily buy it for you, but you can pay for your own fking trip to the Seychelles or whatever.
Even that makes me cringe.t though.f
k off. I'm not paying so you can go on holiday. If you need something that you will use for years to come, I will happily buy it for you, but you can pay for your own fking trip to the Seychelles or whatever.My bro (who isn't wealthy and needed plenty at that stage of life), asked all who wished to make a gesture to put cash in an envelope and slip it in a box at the venue - it all went to Cancer research.
There was of course no obligation to do so.
chr15b said:
easy, small wedding not in the UK only with really close family / friends.
Easier said than done. I bet there are 1000's of blokes who want that who then get steam rolled by their OH's who get carried away with planning "their" day. And I mean their as in singular. He's just along for the ride.wolves_wanderer said:
STW2010 said:
t400ble said:
I upset a mate who asked me to be best man over his wedding.
Hated a few people who he'd invited, and at the time I hadn't got the £80 to stop in a fancy hotel.
Didn't go in end.
You don't deserve friendsHated a few people who he'd invited, and at the time I hadn't got the £80 to stop in a fancy hotel.
Didn't go in end.
Indeed. There are some real emotional cripples on this site
DoubleSix said:
Impasse said:
It does seem a waste of time, effort and money when divorce is so prevalent. Given that marriages which do fail seem to end at around the 8 year mark, is there a known ratio between size of wedding and likelihood of splitting within that timeframe?
There is in my experience.The most lavish wedding I've been to ended unspectacularly within 18 months.
Maybe both 'events' speak of the intellect of the couple.
Someone I know is getting married for the 4th time at great expense for the 4th time. To be honest I would have thought he'd have learnt by now, but maybe he just likes wasting money!
vinnie83 said:
-Comedy table center pieces so big you can't see the person you're trying to talk to across the table.
I agree. Much the same at loads of restaurants though.
-One wedding had two bands play
What's the problem with that?
-ridiculous amounts of food
Would you prefer little choice and not enough? Remember that they have to account for every guests requirements and tastes
-Customised sweets with the event and names on and other daft "favors"/freebies.
You object to being given free chocolates and freebies?
-An ice sculpture with the seating plan in it. Why? especially as the morning after we found it slung, unceremoniously, into a near by hedge.
Because they liked the look of it?
-Presents for kids who did the decent thing and kept schtum for 5 minutes during the ceremony as a well done.
You're objecting to the fact that they were kind and considerate enough to give presents to children?
-videographers doing a "marryoke". Or in other words being forced against your wishes to sing and dance in front of a camera for the married couples later amusement. Not being extrovert in anyway, this was seriously uncomfortable for me.
Admittedly this is very annoying, especially when a million watt light is shone in your face. But why feel uncomfortable? Just don't dance.
-Comedy custom t-shirts for the wedding party the day after
Never seen this.
-Holding it at some posh country house on the condition you get most of your guests to fork out £200 a night to stay there as well.
We really don't care if you don't turn up, believe me, our wedding isn't about you.
-Starting at 12 and going on into the small hours...far to long.
Assuming that there's a registry and reception party, how would you suggest it is all crammed into half a day? Would you prefer having to set aside two separate dates instead?
-A photobooth thingies that see most of the guests queuing outside of for the majority of the night. Or getting everyone a polaroid/dispoable to take gash, unusable pictures with. All of which will be at the dinner table.
You know this is an optional activity, right?
-A huge wedding cake + cup cakes + cheese + sweet stalls
Again, complaining about free food and deserts?
You come across as rather selfish and inconsiderate to be honest.
As someone who is currently planning a wedding with the intention of trying NOT to be excessive and keep the day as short as possible so as not to inconvenience guests, if any of my friends or family said the things you have, I would not be inviting them.
Wishing to celebrate something that you are happy about and having loved ones around you is something to be appreciated, it's an invite, not a summons, and I would be extremely pissed off if someone accepted my invite only to attend and complain about everything.
ETA - Having read that back, it seems clear I've taken your comments a little personally, having had some ungreatful family members complaining about how we're doing things.... sorry if my response was a little harsh.
But I still think some of the points you made were a bit silly - like complaining about the gestures, gifts and food choice - I think these are all things to be glad to be had!
No offence taken. Carry on as you were. Its only gobsI agree. Much the same at loads of restaurants though.
-One wedding had two bands play
What's the problem with that?
-ridiculous amounts of food
Would you prefer little choice and not enough? Remember that they have to account for every guests requirements and tastes
-Customised sweets with the event and names on and other daft "favors"/freebies.
You object to being given free chocolates and freebies?
-An ice sculpture with the seating plan in it. Why? especially as the morning after we found it slung, unceremoniously, into a near by hedge.
Because they liked the look of it?
-Presents for kids who did the decent thing and kept schtum for 5 minutes during the ceremony as a well done.
You're objecting to the fact that they were kind and considerate enough to give presents to children?
-videographers doing a "marryoke". Or in other words being forced against your wishes to sing and dance in front of a camera for the married couples later amusement. Not being extrovert in anyway, this was seriously uncomfortable for me.
Admittedly this is very annoying, especially when a million watt light is shone in your face. But why feel uncomfortable? Just don't dance.
-Comedy custom t-shirts for the wedding party the day after
Never seen this.
-Holding it at some posh country house on the condition you get most of your guests to fork out £200 a night to stay there as well.
We really don't care if you don't turn up, believe me, our wedding isn't about you.
-Starting at 12 and going on into the small hours...far to long.
Assuming that there's a registry and reception party, how would you suggest it is all crammed into half a day? Would you prefer having to set aside two separate dates instead?
-A photobooth thingies that see most of the guests queuing outside of for the majority of the night. Or getting everyone a polaroid/dispoable to take gash, unusable pictures with. All of which will be at the dinner table.
You know this is an optional activity, right?
-A huge wedding cake + cup cakes + cheese + sweet stalls
Again, complaining about free food and deserts?
You come across as rather selfish and inconsiderate to be honest.
As someone who is currently planning a wedding with the intention of trying NOT to be excessive and keep the day as short as possible so as not to inconvenience guests, if any of my friends or family said the things you have, I would not be inviting them.
Wishing to celebrate something that you are happy about and having loved ones around you is something to be appreciated, it's an invite, not a summons, and I would be extremely pissed off if someone accepted my invite only to attend and complain about everything.
ETA - Having read that back, it seems clear I've taken your comments a little personally, having had some ungreatful family members complaining about how we're doing things.... sorry if my response was a little harsh.
But I still think some of the points you made were a bit silly - like complaining about the gestures, gifts and food choice - I think these are all things to be glad to be had!
Edited by vinnie83 on Tuesday 26th August 21:15
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