Life is rubbish at the moment

[funkyrobot]

Just writing this on here to get it off my chest.

Pregnant fiancée (type 1 diabetic) taken into hospital on Sunday. She had been up in the early hours of the morning with a severe, frontal headache. Baby was in distress, mother was becoming ill and preeclampsia was diagnosed. Emergency c section undertaken and baby was transferred to special unit in Sheffield due to lung issues. Gestation was 34 weeks and 4 days and baby weighed 7 lbs 14 ounces.

Mother kept on labour ward as having issues with head.

Baby does well with breathing and is transferred back to Lincs hospital. However, baby has infection and jaundice so is back in incubator. Meanwhile, mother is still suffering with crippling headache. Observations look ok, but doctors struggling to understand what is causing it. Ct scan clear, but MRI scan results unknown as of now. Mother has been up and about a bit today, but she has only got as far as the loo and is really struggling.

I've not long got home. Had to leave fiancée as am so tired. I feel so sad because the two loves of my life are poorly and separated. I can't give my baby a hug and my fiancée just isn't herself with this really strange issue.

I feel like I need a good cry, but I can only get short bursts out. I really hate life at the moment and am terribly worried about my little family,

Alarm is set nice and early and I'll head back to the hospital later to see how things are going.

Has anyone else been through something similar? Thanks all.

Edited to add - I know there are people out there in much worse situations. However, I just needed to write something about it on here.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks for the responses.

Managed to get some sleep and am heading back to the hospital soon. I'll keep the thread updated with any progress.

Haven't heard anything through the night, so that must be a good thing.

Going to feed the cat, put some washing out and head off. Hopefully the OH will continue the run of getting up today and will find it a bit easier. Will see how baby is getting on too. Her little feet are full of holes where they have been taking the blood out.

Cheerio.

[funkyrobot]

Thank you all for the amazing and heartwarming (sometimes tragic) posts. What a difference a day makes.

Been home a bit. Baby out of incubator. Antibiotics stopped as infection gone. Jaundice level dropped so no uv treatment either. I got to hold her, change her nappy and feed her this evening. Had some professional help as never done it before. . Still early days, but hopefully she is getting better. I suppose being a big baby can help.

Mother has had a day of no headache. Had a bad night, but today has been much better. She has been up and about, showered and has been moved on to maternity ward. Still waiting for MRI scan results, but hopefully she is on the mend and the headaches are subsiding. As with baby, we'll see.

Will get pic on here when I can get a decent one of her. She is in a cot now so will get chance tomorrow.

Thanks again to everyone who has posted on here. I hope you and all of your families are ok.

I just hope we are on the mend now and baby doesn't rebound with her treatment. I'm also hoping that mother's headaches are going and it isn't just a pain relief mask.

[funkyrobot]

For those who have asked, hospital is Boston Pilgrim.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks for the responses again all. Sorry to hear of the tragedies that some of you have endured.

There has been more progress today. Baby is off all tubes and is being bottle fed. Mother is now in transient care in a bed next to baby's cot. Mother's head still sore when leaning forward, but all scans have shown no issues. Still early days, so will see how it goes.

I've finally had some new daddy nerves today. Been wondering how you can do things and not keep watching baby. Been wondering how you can sleep and not need to keep an eye on her. I've been worrying about every funny noise she has made, was worried when she was sick and choked earlier and was worried about mother as her blood sugar been low today.

To put it mildly, I'm a bag of nerves. This is what has turned our lives around in the last five or so days:



Off for some sleep now. Cheerio all.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks again for the responses all.

Had quite a daddy day today. Have done two feeds, numerous nappies and dealt with sick etc.. I'm already seeing the character in our little girl. She doesn't like being on the shoulder, oh no. She likes being sat up so she can open her little eyes and see what is going on around her.

I've been on edge today, but as a new daddy. I've been worrying so much about Eris that I have found it difficult to be there watching her. As the day has progressed, I have got better. I'm still worrying about the time she finally comes home though.

Mother was a bit upset today as she is doing well and wants to come home with baby. Problem is, baby has lost more than 10 percent of her body weight so the feeding tube went back in. Her jaundice level also increased today. However, I have been told that that is what happens with premature diabetic mother babies.

It has been very difficult leaving mother at hospital as she has been really tired today and needs some sleep. Nursing staff said they would do baby's next feed down the tube though to help them both rest. Mother also had her stitches out today, so that's good.

Anyway, have to head off as got washing on and ironing to do. Busy time being a new dad and house husband. Cheerio all.

[funkyrobot]

Mr E said:

Losing some weight before putting it back on is normal. They usually won't let you go home until weight is going up.

Yep. Nurses said as much. It's especially important for premature diabetic mother babies.

See how it goes.

[funkyrobot]

Puggit said:

Just wait until the baby's first night at home

Man - that was such a disaster!

Please explain.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks all.

Feeding tube still in as baby still struggling to feed and is sick a few times a day. She has had two or three periods of being quite awake lately though. She is weighed tomorrow so really hoping she is putting some bulk on.

Mother still at hospital with baby and upset as wants to bring her home.

Oh yes, baby had developed a sore bum too.

Felt quite down about it all earlier. Have since been told this isn't uncommon stuff for a prem baby.

Fingers crossed.

[funkyrobot]

blueg33 said:

Puggit said:

Puggit Jnr was born by emergency C-section - he was back-to-back and nicked his hind waters but then didn't progress. The medical staff couldn't find his heart beat at one point because of his positioning and panicked, leading to the c-section at 4.45am (he was fine and healthy).

Unknown to us Puggit jnr was tongue-tied, so unable to breast feed. While he was in the hospital it transpired the staff had removed him one or twice from Mrs Puggit and bottle fed him. When we got him home we tried breast-feeding and it was disastrous. So night one was spent failing to breast feed and a screaming baby. We were new parents - a complete disaster. Fortunately the midwife put us right the next day and we switched to a mix of breast and bottle until a small operation to fix his tongue.

Our first was tongue tied, we had similar problems.

Wow. Doesn't sound like fun.

In relation to breast feeding, Eris has been latching on. Mrs Funky just doesn't have anything in the udders for her. Looks like bottle feeding for us.

Oh yes, I've just been told that my little family should be able to come home today. I'm now happy and utterly scared.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks.

Eris pulled her feeding tube out on Monday morning. When they weighed her today, she had lost 10 grammes (after putting 70 on over the weekend). However, they weren't too bothered about this as they had been effectively force feeding her every 3 hours and she wasn't always taking the desired amount of milk. Who would though if you were constantly being filled with food.

Community midwife will be round every day, so that's good. I'm due to start my paternity on Monday too.

Mrs Funky was getting quite weary of being in hospital. She understood the need to be there, but really wanted to come home. Her wish has been granted today as docs have said Eris should be ok going home now.

I can't say that I've slept very well alone over the last week and a half. However, my sleep will well and truly be interrupted now.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks all.

I guess I'll have an idea by around 10 pm tonight Puggit.

Just rang and mother and baby are nearly home. In-laws have picked them up and they are nearly at the house.

The st just got real.

I have two days of work then I'm on paternity for two weeks.

[funkyrobot]

SpeedMattersNot said:

e and my wife decided not to introduce one and it's been the best thing we've ever done (or not done). It's given us comparatively much more freedom - we don't even have regimented sleeping times and other than the first 4-6 weeks we've only had about 10 interrupted nights sleep.

Good luck and keep in touch. Maybe PH needs a dadsnet section

Sounds good.

I hope we can have something similar. I love my sleep.

[funkyrobot]

Ffs, does this parenting lark get any easier? We've only been home with Eris 7 hours and it's insane. We've realised that sterilising bottles is a pain, making her milk can be a pain and she has already been sick and screamed because it came out of her nose. She only took half if her 11.00 feed. However, it was the first time she has had mixed formula rather than pre-mixed.

She holds her wind terribly so when we put her down she wriggles for ages then is sick again. My god, it's st. I do hope it gets better as me and the good lady have already had a domestic tonight because of the stress!

[funkyrobot]

kapiteinlangzaam said:

Just try and chill out a bit, I know that sounds easy to say - but babies recognise stress in their parents. Often, the calmer you are the calmer the baby is. Dont worry too much about the feeds, again (in general) theyll take what they need.

You can buy microwave and/or standalone bottle sterilisers.... do you have one of these?

Thanks. Have woken this morning feeling more positive. Mother in law came over for the night so she helped my fiancee sort Eris out. This meant I could escape to the spare bedroom and get some sleep. Have one more day at work tomorrow then paternity. At least I'll be able to rest in the day then.

Bought a standalone Avent steriliser. You put 100 ml of water in the bottom, press a button and it does the work on up to six bottles. Problem is, once you open the lid after it's finished, the bottles have to be used straight away as the sterility of the cage is lost.

I think I have that right.

Oh yes, the milk we are using is Aptamil 1.

[funkyrobot]

hornetrider said:

Dude. Kind word of advice - time to mtfu and do what needs to be done. No more whining.

Advice taken. I've woken up this morning with this attitude.

[funkyrobot]

dazwalsh said:

Honestly the first few months are not pleasant at all when it comes to the sleep deprivation, I'm currently trying to settle the little lad (3 week old) who has been up most of the night because he has a cold. The only way he will settle is laid across my chest and i am up in 30 minutes for a 12 hour slog of a day on barely two hours sleep. On a good night i get 5 hours broken up by feeds.

If you see her wriggling in her moses basket after putting her down after a feed its usually wind.

The vomiting is annoying, but stopping to burp her mid feed will help with that. If you put her (and her arms) over your shoulder and keep her vertical whilst patting her back she will burp well for you, we were doing it all wrong with our daughter and she was more slumped than vertical meaning she didn't burp very well. Much less sick this time round.

Anyway its turning into mumsnet here but hope it helps. Just remember it does get gradually better and before you know it they will sleep most the night through.

Edited by dazwalsh on Thursday 11th September 06:57

Thanks. I had been burping her on my knee. But as you say, that was a more slumped position. My fiancee puts her over her shoulder. I think I need to try that technique as it may help.

As babies, my fiancee and I were apparently both sicky and windy. Poor Eris has probably just picked up our terrible traits.

[funkyrobot]

With these feet said:

Might be worth changing to a different formula? We found we had to get some organic stuff else or son wouldnt take it. Mrs wasnt giving milk and said it bloody hurt so stuffed all the "expert" advise and said its more important to feed him something rather than nothing. One of the mums at antinatal class with us, caused their kid to have eating problems due to the constant forcing him to breast feed when it wasnt working.

Unfortunately explosive milk vomit is one of those things, make sure you put a towel over you shoulder when burping!

How do you put little one to bed? We found that swaddling meant a pretty decent nights sleep - when they are wrapped up tight they think they are back in the womb and (in our case) only woke for a feed.

It does get easier, as said, try not to stress though I know thats easier said than done!

Thanks.

She is sleeping in her crib at night and in her pram in the day. We try to wrap her up tight in both.

She made the most alarming noise yesterday when the bit of sick came out of her nose. I think it frightened her and the acid it brought up didn't help. My fiancee was ever so good though and had her settled in 15 minutes. That is the first time we have seen Eris in pain and she kept trying to put her head all the way back. She also went quite red. Scary.

[funkyrobot]

dazwalsh said:

funkyrobot said:

Bought a standalone Avent steriliser. You put 100 ml of water in the bottom, press a button and it does the work on up to six bottles. Problem is, once you open the lid after it's finished, the bottles have to be used straight away as the sterility of the cage is lost.

If you assemble the bottles and put the lids on it keeps them sterile.

Oh right, thanks. So we can sterilise a couple of bottles, take them out the steriliser and pop the teat and lid on, and then keep them ready to add the milk to when required?

Didn't think of that. Thanks.

[funkyrobot]

tenpenceshort said:

Seeming this is PH, I have to ask; I take it you sorted out the mother in law as soon as you got chance?

Looking forward to the "I shagged my MiL when the OH was feeding the baby and now the SWT wants the house and the baby and the MiL has genital warts" thread.

Hell no. She's a lovely lady, but is 74 and really not my type.