How drunk was I last night.

[so called]

I'm at a convention which occurs only every 3 years.
As usual, lots of companies have suites offering free drinks and food
This morning woke to the alarm of some guy on the TV waking to his alarm..... 7:56 ... that's handy :
Follow the trail of cloths ...trousers..... shirt.....pants on desk lamp! (how did I get my pants off before my trousers ???) sock...... across the hotel room floor to the bathroom. Another sock (I've reached the bathroom).
Sat on the throne, trying to pick up business cards and a room key off the marble floor with unfocussed eyes..... not easy.
OK why is the shower curtain in the bath ? why is the inner half of the curtain on the floor ??

Sat on the bed 'pop clipping' the inner shower curtain to the outer shower curtain wondering if my colleague is awake.
Start picking up cloths..... trousers are still zipped ? shirt is still buttoned up ......... how the f?????????????????
Obviously my socks are inside out. The lamp on the desk is still wearing my pants
Called my colleague and she says "awake, not showered, see you in 1 hour". sounds remarkably bright !!

where last night ?............*Blues......something ?....... free drinks all night

Tonight is another invite to a free all night.
Only 56, feel 156............
another day in paradise.

[so called]

Blue oyster bar was a few years back when someone spiked my drink in San Fran.
..........oooh I feel like poo .

[so called]

Purity14 said:

I went on a date with some girl, and got really drunk.
Whilst drunk I playfully picked her up and then dropped her onto her face, and she fell unconscious.
An Ambulance turns up, and I get into a taxi. (No idea)
Taxi driver drops me off somewhere that I can't remember.
Then I tried to gain access to someones house so that I could sleep there.
I climbed into their garden, fell into their pond, wiped pond goo over their conservatory windows.
Took my clothes off because they were wet and cold.
Went back round the front and they were shouting through the letter box at me, I peered down to look and when I stood up my cock popped out my buttoned boxers.
They jabbed me in the cock with a broom handle and rendered me immobile on their driveway.
Police came and took me home, wasn't charged.

Items found by police in the garden pond: Shirt, Jeans, Watch, Phone, Trainers, Wallet.

Embarrassment all round.
Dated girl for 3 years.
Haven't drank since.

Whow that is brilliant.
Beats any of my stories hands down.

One of my better ones was when I walked back from Slopy Joes bar in Key West Florida gave my shoes away to a street sleeper because I hadn't got any money left.
Of course It started to rain, I was too drunk to find ma hotel and the police officer wasn't too impressed about the shoe thing.