Child Maintenance - when does it stop?
Discussion
Would be grateful for any advice- or if anyone has experience
My Son is 16 next week
I split from his Mother when he was 2 and have transferred her money every month since them, CSA have not been involved. He has always stayed at my house 1/2 nights a week and I have bought him cloths for my house etc and taken him on holiday
His mother took him out of school when he was in the second year of secondary school to home educate him. I disagreed and thought he should stay in school, as we were never married though I have no parental responsibility, she has never given it to me and have not fought hard enough to get it. She ignored me and took him out of school.
She made an attempt at home education for a year or so, but for the last 3 years, he has done nothing, lives round her parents most of the time and plays on his computer all day. She reckons he will start college next year to do GCSE's, which he will struggle with as he is 4 years behind now.
She claims DLA for him as he was partly diagnosed with Aspergers, but I don't believe that he does and don't think she should be claiming this. He needs no additional care
Anyway, I have spoken to numerous people at the CSA and they have advised me that I should not pay now that he is 16 and not in any kind of education, but would have to pay if he goes to college, which is fair enough.
I get on with my son really well and have no issues giving him money and buying him stuff etc.. but I really object to giving his Mother money when she is still getting child benefit and DLA and has made no effort to give him any kind of education, she can provide no evidence that he has 12 weeks of anything a week (as 12 hours/weeks is classed as a full time education)
Told her I was no longer paying her until he went to college, she went mad, has gone to the Child Maintenance Service and they have written to me.
Anyone had any similar experiences or can offer advice??
My Son is 16 next week
I split from his Mother when he was 2 and have transferred her money every month since them, CSA have not been involved. He has always stayed at my house 1/2 nights a week and I have bought him cloths for my house etc and taken him on holiday
His mother took him out of school when he was in the second year of secondary school to home educate him. I disagreed and thought he should stay in school, as we were never married though I have no parental responsibility, she has never given it to me and have not fought hard enough to get it. She ignored me and took him out of school.
She made an attempt at home education for a year or so, but for the last 3 years, he has done nothing, lives round her parents most of the time and plays on his computer all day. She reckons he will start college next year to do GCSE's, which he will struggle with as he is 4 years behind now.
She claims DLA for him as he was partly diagnosed with Aspergers, but I don't believe that he does and don't think she should be claiming this. He needs no additional care
Anyway, I have spoken to numerous people at the CSA and they have advised me that I should not pay now that he is 16 and not in any kind of education, but would have to pay if he goes to college, which is fair enough.
I get on with my son really well and have no issues giving him money and buying him stuff etc.. but I really object to giving his Mother money when she is still getting child benefit and DLA and has made no effort to give him any kind of education, she can provide no evidence that he has 12 weeks of anything a week (as 12 hours/weeks is classed as a full time education)
Told her I was no longer paying her until he went to college, she went mad, has gone to the Child Maintenance Service and they have written to me.
Anyone had any similar experiences or can offer advice??
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Sorry mate, but I cannot believe you sat back and allowed this to happen. Your ex is an idiot, but you're his father and the onus was on you to man up and get it sorted. If that meant involving police, social services etc, and going to war with your ex, then so be it. Chucking money in the pot every month does not absolve you of a wider responsibility.
Shameful.
I got Solicitors involved when he was quite young, to try and get Parental Responsibility but she lived with her parents at the time and they barred me from her house and it got very unpleasant.
I should have fought to stop him being taken from school. I have nothing against home education of its done properly, but it has not been. Social Services would not speak to me as I had to Parental responsibility
Now she is outraged that I dare stop paying her
MrBarry123 said:
Cheers - that is what they told meI think she has told them that is having home education but she has no evidence at all that he has any education. She seems to think that a home education can be reading for 12 hours a week (which he does not..)
I should have made more effort to get PR when he was younger but rightly or wrongly I decided to get on with her for the sake of our son, rather than spending lots of money (which I did not have) to get something which may makes things worse
It would have been a nightmare trying to get him back into school when she took him out. At the end of the day it seems that no one cares. As long as she did it correctly and tell the school that he is being home schooled, the school don't care and seemingly no one else does.
I am happy to give him money directly but he is not capable of getting any kind of job
It would have been a nightmare trying to get him back into school when she took him out. At the end of the day it seems that no one cares. As long as she did it correctly and tell the school that he is being home schooled, the school don't care and seemingly no one else does.
I am happy to give him money directly but he is not capable of getting any kind of job
I spoke to the LEA but they would not speak to me as I did not have PR. They just said that she would be subject to random inspections
For the first year or so, she did make a hash of getting him tutored and going to groups etc.. which I did not agree with but at least he was getting social contact and some education.
I am happy with him going to college and would be happy to carry on paying her then, but doubt that he actually will, think she is just saying that to me to shut me up
For the first year or so, she did make a hash of getting him tutored and going to groups etc.. which I did not agree with but at least he was getting social contact and some education.
I am happy with him going to college and would be happy to carry on paying her then, but doubt that he actually will, think she is just saying that to me to shut me up
Update...
I have spoken to the Child Maintenance Service and maintenance is payable until child benefit stops being paid.
She is getting child benefit because she states that our son is receiving a home education. She says there is no syllabus so online learning courses, reading, tv, maths tutor.
Home education is classed as supervised study for at least 12 hours a week
I see him often enough to know that he does nothing and certainly does not have a tutor.
Is it up to her to provide evidence that he has a 'home education' or do I have to prove that is not.
Basically, I have to report her for benefit fraud for all the time that I reckon (but basically cannot prove) that he has not been receiving the 12 hours a week.
What a nightmare
I have spoken to the Child Maintenance Service and maintenance is payable until child benefit stops being paid.
She is getting child benefit because she states that our son is receiving a home education. She says there is no syllabus so online learning courses, reading, tv, maths tutor.
Home education is classed as supervised study for at least 12 hours a week
I see him often enough to know that he does nothing and certainly does not have a tutor.
Is it up to her to provide evidence that he has a 'home education' or do I have to prove that is not.
Basically, I have to report her for benefit fraud for all the time that I reckon (but basically cannot prove) that he has not been receiving the 12 hours a week.
What a nightmare
its a nightmare because I would need to report her for benefit fraud and she would just lie and say that he is being home educated informally etc..
The claim against me by the Child maintenance service continues and they have the power to eventually get an attachment of earnings order (for miles more than I actually earn on average monthly as I get a yearly bonus, which can be up to half my yearly wage)
The claim against me by the Child maintenance service continues and they have the power to eventually get an attachment of earnings order (for miles more than I actually earn on average monthly as I get a yearly bonus, which can be up to half my yearly wage)
I think I will have to try and do a deal with her somehow..
Child Benefit is paid until the August after a child turns 16 I think (and CM is payable whilst CB is paid), but (and this is the big BUT) child benefit is only payable if a child is in full time education. Home schooling is fine but it has to be for 12 hours per week, and this is the grey area, that she try and argue he is being informally educated for 12 hours a week, including watching top gear or something like that or playing minecraft.
Child Benefit is paid until the August after a child turns 16 I think (and CM is payable whilst CB is paid), but (and this is the big BUT) child benefit is only payable if a child is in full time education. Home schooling is fine but it has to be for 12 hours per week, and this is the grey area, that she try and argue he is being informally educated for 12 hours a week, including watching top gear or something like that or playing minecraft.
I am not sure which one he has, playstation I think. I know he spends most of the day on it
Although he has a bedroom at my house, with tons of his stuff in, I work full time and would not like to leave at home on my home.
Would you believe his mother does not really work and he stays round his grandparents most of the time anyway. They work from home and can keep an eye on him and more to the point, he can go to bed and get up when he wants
Although he has a bedroom at my house, with tons of his stuff in, I work full time and would not like to leave at home on my home.
Would you believe his mother does not really work and he stays round his grandparents most of the time anyway. They work from home and can keep an eye on him and more to the point, he can go to bed and get up when he wants
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